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The king of Koopas wasn’t that old villain who used to capture the princess and some of that old villainy stuff, not at all! He was a changed reptile now; everything in the past was done, and now he is doing his own stuff.
Years ago, he used to have a café… I didn’t work up, unfortunately. But he decided to try again, this time with a restaurant!
His minions were part of the staff. Waiters, cleaning staff, some of them work in the kitchen, and even Bowser’s kids help in the restaurant sometimes. Meanwhile, Bowser was the chef and the manager, keeping in check that everything was going perfectly with his establishment, and it was!
Everything was going so smoothly.
On a completely random day, Bowser was looking at the new reservations for this week, to start organizing and to avoid any problems during those days. But something caught his attention, a name in particular, a familiar name.
‘Mario Mario’
Bowser raises an eyebrow after reading the name, and rereads it, and again, checking that he wasn’t confused. The same Italian plumber, the same one who wears red and has a red cap, his old enemy, the star of Nintendo, just made a reservation for two people at his restaurant.
“What the hell?” Bowser said to himself, trying to understand why there was a reservation under Mario’s name.
Tons of ideas passed through his mind: 1) Mario was seeing someone, 2) Maybe he had made a reservation for his friends under his name for some reason, or 3) Maybe he and Peach got back together. There were multiple options, but he wasn’t sure which one could be. He and Luigi talked from time to time, but he never mentioned his brother seeing someone, and he couldn’t ask him just like that, what if this was a secret, and he didn’t want anyone to know.
Bowser sighed, smoke coming from his nose as he read again the reservation, the idea of being something that must be kept in secret was confirmed as he read an observation under the date.
‘Must be afar from the customers, maybe outside, and making sure no one else comes there (aside from the waiter).’
Okay, good. Mario was in a secret relationship with someone and pretended to keep it hidden, amazing, perfect even.
Bowser just pinched the bridge of his nose and left the reservation aside. He just had one thing to do, and that was waiting until the day when Mario came here, either see him as he arrived or be the waiter for this occasion. Because he was curious about this whole mystery and situation.
- - - - - ꒰ ʚ♡ɞ ꒱ - - - - -
The exact day came, and Bowser monitored every customer who walked into the restaurant so he could spot Mario. But a few minutes passed, and there wasn’t any sign of the red Italian. He decided to check the kitchen to make sure everything was going well.
And in that small lapse, as soon as he returned to the entrance, one of his employees told him that Mario had come in to confirm the reservation and had gone upstairs.
In that instant, he went upstairs, hoping he would spot him at one of the tables, but he saw nothing. Until he remembered how much he wanted privacy and decided to check on the tables from the balcony, and that was when he noticed only a couple outside, and Bowser, of course, assumed it was Mario with his mysterious companion, with all the clues he had.
The koopa opened the door where the table was located, before he could greet Mario and ask why he was hiding, his face drooped.
Mario was there, yes, but his company was the thing that the koopa wasn’t expecting. A TV head, with a technicolor smile, wearing a suit and tall, very tall, was sitting on the other side of the table.
The king of Koopas quickly recognized him, the same man who appeared on the television to brainwash people, the same man who ended up in prison for multiple charges, the same man who was on death row months ago, the same man who Luigi told him had died after closing a portal.
Was now sitting on a chair. In his restaurant. Talking with Mario like nothing happened, like this was normal.
Bowser glared at Mario, who just looked away after realizing that the reptile connected the dots. He just inhaled sharply, and smoke came out from his nose as he exhaled, trying to maintain his composure.
“Oh, hello!” A voice broke the clear tension there. Bowser just looked at the TV who was the one who spoke. “You must be the owner of the place, Mario talked about you and how perfect this place is~”
“Really?” Bowser asked under his breath as he kept looking at the Italian.
“Yeah, I must say thank you for accommodating for what I requested,” he chuckled as he looked at the sky. “It is a pretty view from here…”
Mario just for a moment stops worrying about Bowser and looks at the TV head, smiling softly as he gazes at the stars. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder, right Bowser-
The Koopa grabbed the Italian by the straps of his overalls and lifted him from the chair as Mario let out an ‘ekk!’. “Can I take Mario for a second? I need to talk with him about some stuff.”
Puzzles hummed and looked at Bowser. “Yeah, sure! Just don’t take too long, we are planning to go for a walk to see the stars after eating.”
Bowser nodded and kept a grip on Mario's straps as they left the balcony. The red plumber was now just praying that whatever happened wouldn’t end badly, because he knew he was in trouble after bringing Puzzles here.
Bowser entered the storage room with Mario, to avoid making a scene in any hallway or elsewhere, this place was the closest to privacy in his restaurant. He drops Mario to the floor, only to pick him up again, but now by his shirt to start shaking him.
“MARIO, WHY DID YOU BRING A CRIMINAL TO MY RESTAURANT!” Bowser growled as he shook him.
The red plumber yelled as he was being shaken. He started to apologize. “I am-a sorry, Bowser! But you were my only choice-a! I wanted to bring him to Luigi’s restaurant, but I don’t want him to find out about-!”
“THAT YOU ARE DATING A CRIMINAL?!”
“What?! No! Mario and Puzzles aren’t dating, what are you-a talking about?!”
The king groaned and put the Italian down, now trying to calm himself down. Good thing there, he wasn’t dating that freak, but that still confused him, because why bring him here? At first glance, it looks like they were on a date. What was the occasion for this, then?
“I'm sorry, I got confused. I assume things because. You! Making a reservation? I thought it was a date after seeing a reservation for two,” he chuckled. “But then, what is your deal with him? What’s the occasion to bring him here?”
“Oh, just friends,” he replied, avoiding eye contact as he fidgeted with the straps of his classic overalls. “Mario wants-a to bring him to a restaurant because Puzzles told Mario he missed going outside, nothing else.”
Bowser was confused by the way he acted after responding to the question, looking at him suspiciously. “Oh? Okay then, just that,” he replied, he looked at him with a smug smile. “For a moment I thought you were bringing Peaches, because having dinner under the stars on the balcony is such a romantic setup-”
“Mario and Peach aren’t dating… And Mario doesn’t think that would happen either with anyone,” he muttered and sat down on the floor, and Bowser mimicked his action. Something felt off for some reason.
He got closer to him and poked his shoulder. “Hey, what’s wrong? Why so sad now?”
Mario stayed silent, bringing his legs to his chest and hugging them. “Bowser… Do you-a think someone will date Mario?”
Bowser raised an eyebrow in confusion after hearing the question. “What?” He laughed after hearing that. “Why wouldn’t someone want to date you? You’re the star! The hero! You-!”
“No since-a Mario became dumb,” he interrupted the Koopa. “Ever since SMG4 came here, everything changed, but Mario never-a minded it. Until someone pointed out that many people don’t take-a Mario seriously…” he sighed. “Peach and Mario broke up because of that, because Mario wasn’t the same person that before, just an immature and unserious Mario… And I don’t-a think anyone will love Mario like-” he gestured to himself. “Like this. Nobody would want this!”
The red plumber started sobbing, one of those rare moments where that usual personality isn’t there, those weird moments where he’s aware of his feelings. “Mario started seeing Puzzles just-a because he was entertaining and would have free TV time, but… Mario started enjoying passing time with him, started liking the way he laughs, how passionate he is, that-a voice, and how Mario thinks Puzzles enjoys having Mario there, but not sure about it, I could be wrong…” The Italian smiled as he told everything, “Mario loves Puzzles, really,” he said in a calm voice. “But Mario is-a scared to hear that his feelings will not be returned because of just what Mario is now… Mario is not sure if Puzzles would love being with someone so- Different from him,” he said in a whisper and sighed.
Bowser listened to each of Mario's words, understanding his mindset and putting himself in his shoes. Because he had a point, everything changed after the arrival of the blue meme guardian, but they adapted, and even some of them got used to those new personalities. The king never thought Mario had a problem, he seemed not to care, until now.
He stood up and left the storage room for a few seconds to check the TV head. Once he arrived at the balcony, he could see how upset Puzzles was, tapping his fingers as he waited, getting impatient as he waited for Mario to come back. Bowser realized that they were taking so long with this chat, so he needed to wrap it up quickly.
The door was open, Mario barely looked up, but he knew it was Bowser from the heavy footsteps. The king of the Koopas decided to ask a question to the plumber. “Did he ever tell you that?”
The Italian looked at the Koopa confused, not understanding what he was referring to.
“I mean, did he ever imply you were dumb? Or does he see you as a non-serious person? Does he dislike your company or the way you act?” He makes himself clear, asking the questions that will help clear Mario's thoughts.
Mario understood now. He thought for a moment on each question as he analyzed his previous interactions, and the answer was a no, and if Puzzles ever said that was back in his day on villainy or in a playful manner in his recent interactions. The Italian just shook his head in response, nothing that he just said was ever implied, but more likely assumptions that his mind made him think.
“Okay, that’s good,” Bowser replied. “Another question. Do you really love him?”
Mario thought for a second before answering, but yeah, to him the answer was clear. “Well, Mario does, but I’m-a scared that-”
“Forget about that!” He yelled at the red plumber and grabbed him. “If he doesn’t see you like an idiot, then stop thinking about it!” The king added. “Look red ‘stache, I don’t know what deal you two have, but I’m pretty sure he appreciates this gesture you made! And before I interrupted you two, it seems you were having a good time, so he does enjoy having you around!”
The plumber was thinking about what he said and even doubting it, did he? Does Puzzles really care and doesn’t mind how he is most of the time?
“I know that sounds hard to you. I don’t really know how your friends usually treat you, but I’m sure that's how they usually treat each other,” he put the plumber back on the floor. “And I think that you started being aware of your behavior and how you acted because you love that guy and you care about what he thinks about you.”
The red plumber shrugged. “Probably. But I am-a not sure, you really think he enjoys having Mario around?”
“Yeah! I could see how upset he was when I went to check on him, and he is waiting for you to come back, but maybe he does want you around because you’re funny,” Bowser pointed out. “Listen, I am not sure what kind of feelings he has for you, and I don’t want to give you high hopes, but I’m sure if you stop talking to him, he will be upset. So come on, Mario! Stop thinking so low about yourself,” he punched Mario’s arm in a friendly manner, but he didn’t measure his force because he heard an ‘oof’ from the Italian after doing that.
He chuckled as he rubbed his arm. “Thanks, Bowser. Mario really needed to hear that.”
The king and the plumber walked out of the room and went back to the balcony
“Finally! For a moment, I thought something bad had happened to you two for taking so long,” Puzzles said.
“It’s-a okay, TV man, we were just catching up,” Mario smiled as he sat down in his chair.
“Yeah!” He laughed. “Being quite a while, we didn’t notice how long we take, my bad,” he smacked Mario’s back with a huge smile on his face. “But enough of talking, I will take your orders, I will be your waiter for tonight!”
Mario muttered a ‘thank you’ to Bowser and cleared his throat. “You know what Mario is going to order, Bowser, it’s-a pretty obvious!”
Puzzles rolled his eyes as he chuckled. Bowser gladly took his order and wrote it down in his notebook. “A spaghetti for the super star, and for you, TV?”
“Oh, just a glass of wine would be fine for me,” Puzzles replied. “I don’t really need to eat, but I don’t mind drinking.”
Mario looked at Bowser and made a sign to get close so he could whisper something. “Bring another spaghetti, at least I want him to eat something before we leave.”
The koopa nodded and noted that. “I will make sure nobody comes here to interrupt you two. I will be the only one entering here. I will be back with your orders.”
Bowser finally leaves Puzzles and Mario alone to chat. He wasn’t sure how to feel about Mario dating someone like the TV head, but he must trust him in that, and he didn’t have the heart to tell him about his doubts, especially since there were feelings involved. From now on, he must have faith in the red plumber in this.
He probably knows what he is doing.