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A persistent despondence looms overhead - a sadness and loneliness that you can’t seem to shake away. Well, it can be shaken away, but only when you’re with Caine.
You aren’t sure why this is- why the only “person” who seems to make you feel whole is the “person” you trust the very least at this circus. You’ve been grappling with that realization for a while now, and you’ve been pushing it down as best you can.
Caine is oblivious. He is not only oblivious to how much you seem to cling onto him, but also to grasping human emotions in general. He feels them, no doubt, he just struggles to identify them on others… and himself. He’s recently been feeling some emotions very strongly towards you, but he’s been unable to pinpoint what exactly it is that they are.
There is a very strong tension between you two, and the others aren’t stupid. You are in adamant denial that you feel anything romantic towards the AI bot who controls every bit of your autonomy- the shame that comes with such an admission is just too intense.
Jax teases Caine about his “sad” attempts at flirting with you, and how he can give him some tips if he wants! Caine is nothing less than utterly gobsmacked by the proposition. Him? Attracted to a human? Out of the question! He can’t deny, however, the fluttery sensation he gets in his body when your guys’ eye contact lingers. He can’t deny that his metaphorical heart buzzes with excitement when you come over to talk to him. He can’t deny that the space on either side of his eyes turn a hue of pink when you give him compliments about his adventures, or, him.
“Not possible!” Caine forcibly chuckles, “My job here is to construct adventures for you humans to enjoy! I would never even consider indulging in such a thing.”
“Lay it easy, Caine, sheesh! You’re breaking their heart over here!” Jax says in mock-sympathy, pointing his thumb at you, who’s idly standing alongside the other circus members.
“Quit being a $%#!, Jax. You’re making everyone uncomfortable,” Zooble states in irritation while giving a pitied side glance towards you- you roll your eyes.
You knew he wouldn’t feel that way about you, so why are you so upset? Why are you so irritated and sad and disappointed all at once. You don’t even like him!…You think… no, you don’t.
Caine stays quiet, did he do something wrong? He notices that your whole demeanor has shifted… he hopes it’s not because of him. He fidgets with his baton while he briefly ponders, and then swings it again while plastering his cheerful attitude back on.
Later that day, after the adventure is through, Caine lightly taps your shoulder as the others walk off to preoccupy themselves. You turn to face him, your heart skipping and falling all at once; you did not want to see him this soon after his admission of disinterest.
“Hey… you!” He smiles, his voice swelling with an awkward cadence - notably unnatural for him.
“Yes?” You question impartially. Maybe you’ll quit thinking about him if you stop giving him so much of your attention. Or maybe he’ll notice you aren’t giving him attention and he’ll pay you more of it. You swat that last thought away.
“How’d you like that last adventure? I remembered that you mentioned liking cozy atmospheres, and- not to brag- I think I really outdid myself with the scented candle room!”
You pause for a moment, recalling the ballroom size area filled to the brim with different variations of candles. You almost giggle to yourself at the thought, but you keep your composure.
“It was fine,” you respond evenly, turning to walk the opposite direction from where he’s floating. He simply drifts alongside you.
His hands tremble ever so slightly as he adjusts the hem of his sleeve, his eyes darting as if trying to quickly come up with something to say.
He smiles sheepishly, “So, about this morning… I didn’t…” he pauses and makes helpless gestures with his hands that convey nothing.
“It’s no big deal, Caine, seriously.”
“Right! And it’s nothing against you in particular, I’m simply not programmed-“
“Caine, it’s fine.”
Your face is hued with hints of red embarrassment and tidbits of annoyance. You don’t even like him, you don’t! Assuming that of you? How presumptuous.
You quicken your pace, hoping he’ll back off. He quickens his too, not thinking anything of it.
“Yes, of course! So, uh,” he hesitates and his voice loses confidence, “do you like me like that?”
You stop walking, furrowing your eyebrows, turning to face him with a look of pure chagrin. You scoff and tense up, gritting your teeth.
“You never get the hint, do you?” You press, your face now uncomfortably hot.
He’s a bit taken aback by your reaction- shoot, he definitely said something wrong, didn’t he? He needs to backtrack, he must’ve overstepped with that question. He knew that humans were secretive about their desires, he should’ve stopped himself before he said anything.
His hands wave frantically in front of him, “if you are, it’s perfectly fine! Natural, even! I wouldn’t mind at all, actually, I’d be more than flattered!”
The nerve of him! You had hardly given an ounce of indication that you felt that way, and he’s making a million assumptions. Ming is most definitely rolling in his grave right now, or whatever void Caine put him in. So what if you did like him? It didn’t need to be a big deal. He was totally blowing this out of proportion.
“Why does it matter? Clearly, you don’t feel that way towards me, so let’s just move on,” you stress, rubbing the back of your neck to soothe the erratic nerves firing up.
“Okay,” he rolls his shoulders to adjust his posture, clicking his tongue in thought, “I mean, it would still matter, to me I mean. I might’ve been a bit untruthful before, I think I can feel certain things- which is confusing because I really didn’t think my program allowed it!”
Your attention is reigned back in. What exactly is he trying to say? He’s practically rambling nonsense with how much he’s beating around the bush.
“What do you mean?”
He pauses, taking a moment to recollect himself.
“If, hypothetically, you were interested in me, I… may be capable of reciprocating. That’s only if you are, though! I want to try my absolute hardest to make every single one of you humans as happy as you can be, and if this would make you happy, I don’t see why it couldn’t come into fruition!” Caine doesn’t even have a face and you can see blush growing on it. You’re shocked he hasn’t lagged from how flustered he’s gotten.
You’re in a state of utter disbelief and awe. He’s serious? He wants to, what? Date you? Kiss you? More? Your stomach flips at the thought. You’re left with so many more questions than answers, and your heartbeat is practically running laps to keep up.
“If I were to hypothetically say that I did want you, you’d want me back?” You ask, your words coming off soft and careful.
He floats down slightly to be just above eye level with you. He hesitantly reaches one of his hands out to hold the side of your face, which you lean into. Gaining some confidence in his actions, he rubs a thumb against your cheek, caressing where skin meets bone and leaning closer into you.
Your whole body is hot and practically shaking. This is really happening. You suppose it’s an alright time to admit to yourself that you do like him like that, although that revelation seems a bit past due at this point.
He seems unsure what exactly to do next, just that this felt right so far. He wasn’t unfamiliar with the concept of kissing, the issue lied in the fact that he didn’t exactly have lips. He was a creative AI, though, so he’d just have to get creative.
He closes his teeth together and presses them lightly against your lips, akin to a little peck. He pulls away slightly and peeks through a gap in his dentures to gauge your reaction.
The sensation is unlike anything you had experienced before. It’s bony, vaguely wet, but done with so much care that it’s warmly tender. You smile and hold the underside of his jaw, pulling him in for another kiss which he melts into.
He brings one of his hands up to cradle the side of your neck, lightly tugging at the base of your head to guide you in closer. You both smoosh yourselves together where lip meets teeth, kissing to the best of your ability despite the obvious mouth difference.
When you both remove yourselves from each other, you can see his eyes glitching- blue screening for half a second before returning just for them to do it again. You laugh to yourself at the ridiculous sight. When he’s fully back, his smile crinkles upward and he nuzzles his head against yours.
You both lock eyes for a few moments before you develop a delicious thought. You grin and cup his face in your hand once again. He instinctively closes his mouth, but you slither a hand below his top teeth and signal for him to open back up.
You part your mouth slightly and wait for him to do the same, which he does. Confusion is written on his face as he waits for the next step.
“Use your tongue,” you clarify.
He blue screens. You shake your head in humored disbelief. When he comes back, his upper jaw angles in surprise.
“My tongue? Like, in your mouth?” He questions, his pupils dilating as he takes in your features which stare back at him.
“Have you never kissed anyone before, Caine?” You ask lightheartedly; you think you already know the answer but you don’t mind rubbing it in.
He almost looks like he’s going to rebuttal your accusation, but instead he simply shakes his head awkwardly.
“That’s okay, we can practice together,” you smile.
You part your lips again and he does the same. He tilts his mouth to close into yours. He steadily presses his tongue in to open you up further, which you readily comply with. As he gets the hang of it, he pushes himself deeper into your needy mouth. You both adjust your inner muscles against each other, mixing saliva and greedily searching for more. His large tongue fully stuffs your mouth, causing you to nearly choke on its size as it grazes the back of your throat. You both desperately take out your desire on each other, clutching tightly at one another’s clothes as you try to somehow get closer together.
When you finally pull away to breathe, you pant and hold onto the collar of his suit, simpering at his, again, glitching expression. When he comes to, he lets out a chuckle at the exhilaration of the moment.
“Oh, wow,” he mutters breathlessly.
“Wow,” you repeat.
“We should do this again sometime!” He excitedly proposes, grabbing his baton out of thin air and floating back up to leave.
“What- that’s it?” You question incredulously. Is he really just going to saunter back to his office after all that?
He looks puzzled. He didn’t realize there were levels to this.
“Was there something else you wanted to try?” He asks, floating back down.
You bring a hand to your forehead, ruffling your own hair through disheveled thought. Is he being serious? He’s just gonna make out with you and poof off to go do whatever other bullshit he does all day?
“I just thought, y’know, we’d hang out maybe? Do something? Go somewhere?” You’re in complete disarray, he’s not gonna leave you, is he? He wouldn’t! Would he?
He floats back down beside you, “What did you have in mind?” He asks, as shocked that you want to continue hanging out with him as you are that he assumed otherwise.
“I’m not sure… what can two people do around here?”
His eyes twinkle and he grips onto your hand, flying you both up to showcase to you all the cool and unusual hang out spots he created in the circus to explore.