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“You are a literal flop,” Dan giggled as he watched Phil spill his glass of water onto his newly ironed shirt.
“I didn’t know there would be a cord right there!” Phil exclaimed which only made Dan double over in laughter.
“There’s cords everywhere!”
“Well, I-! I...I didn’t see that particular one!”
Not only was it their last TATINOF show in America, but it was also their last time in dressing rooms for a while and Phil still couldn’t seem to get his clumsiness together.
Dan continued laughing at Phil until one of their managers came into the dressing room, shocked to see Phil with his drenched shirt.
“Phil! Why is your shirt wet?” She boomed, rushing over to the hangers where the rest of Dan and Phil’s clothes were and grabbed another one of Phil’s shirts.
“I may have accidentally spilt water on it,” Phil murmured, turning pink and Dan couldn’t help but chuckle from the sidelines.
“Oh, Phil. Please be careful next time, okay?” She pleaded and gave Phil the extra shirt as he began taking off the wet one.
“I promise!” He nodded and the manager sighed.
“Alright. You, boys, have half an hour before the show,” she reminded them then walked out of the door and leaving the two boys to their own privacy.
Phil tossed the wet shirt onto the floor and slipped on the new one, starting to button it up on his chest.
Dan watched Phil as he walked over and placed his hands on Phil’s hips from behind, resting his chin on Phil’s shoulder. He glanced at Phil through the mirror in front of him and smiled.
“You’re cute,” he said, burying his face further into Phil’s shoulder.
That made Phil smile in the mirror at himself.
He loved Dan. A lot. He was in love with Dan, and it had been that way for almost seven years. Dan managed to make him smile when he was sad and he managed to be one of the greatest people Phil had ever met. Dan had those eyes that could make anyone stare at them from across the room without even trying, and he had that smile that would light up an entire room as soon as he walked inside.
Phil had something planned. And he knew Dan certainly wasn’t ready for it.
Twenty minutes passed with Dan and Phil sitting on the couch in their dressing room, curled up next to each other and talking about anything and everything.
“How excited are you on a scale of one to ten for the last show?” Dan asked and Phil couldn’t help but chuckle nervously.
“Right now, I want to say ten,” Phil smiled and Dan in return.
“A ten? Wow, I wonder what’s so special about this one,” Dan chuckled and Phil’s nerves flowed through his veins in a quick motion.
He shrugged his shoulders as Dan leant into Phil more, his hair tickling the bottom of Phil’s chin.
Phil couldn’t help letting his mind wander to the small black box sitting in his back pocket. It was daunting, and Phil was extremely nervous. He was almost positive Dan wouldn’t say no, but what if he did? What if he thought they were too young to get married? Maybe Dan would have second thoughts at the last minute and reject him. Oh God, that would be so embarrassing in front of everyone.
Phil kept the knowledge that this particular show was being filmed away from his mind as he knew it would freak him out even more. This would be on the Internet forever.
Phil’s thoughts were captured away from his mind when he felt Dan hug Phil tighter around his neck and felt him breathe softly against his neck.
“I love you, Phil,” he heard Dan mutter under his breath and the smile was unstoppable on Phil’s lips.
“I love you too, Dan,” Phil pressed a kiss to the top of Dan’s head and hugged him tighter around the waist in response to Dan’s.
That moment made Phil’s nerves a little calmer.
His mind went back to the video that he and Dan made for their audience about their ‘coming out’ story and why they had decided to finally tell the world about their relationship. It was a hard decision, but they were okay, and Phil was happy he could finally show how in love he was with Dan.
Suddenly, the door to the dressing room opened and one of the soundcheck men stepped in.
“Boys, you’re on in five minutes. It’s time to get backstage and take your places,” he stated, not a second glance at their position on the couch before stepping out again, leaving the door slightly ajar.
Phil nibbled on his lower lip, knowing he should give himself a small pep talk before the show started.
Especially without Dan in the room.
“Dan? You go on ahead, I’ll catch up in a minute,” Phil said to the boy below him.
Dan lifted his head up gently and raised an eyebrow at Phil.
“Why?” He asked.
“I just need to do something. I’ll be very quick, I promise,” Phil assured, pressing a kiss to Dan’s forehead and Dan smiled.
“Okay. Hurry, though,” he said, untangling himself from Phil and standing up.
Phil stood up as well and was immediately tugged forward by Dan for their lips to meet. The kiss lasted a few seconds with Phil’s hands splayed gently across Dan’s hips and Dan’s fingers grasping at Phil’s collar before they both pulled away.
Dan smiled shyly before pulling away completely from the older boy and heading towards the door. He walked out and Phil let out a long sigh. He made his way over to the mirror and placed his hands on the desk in front of him. He looked at himself and let out short, nervous breaths.
The weight in his back pocket was a lot to handle.
Phil took in a particularly large breath and began speaking to himself in the mirror.
“You can do this, Phil. You’ve got the whole show to do this. Think positive,” Phil mumbled under his breath, repeating some of the same phrases a few times.
He took a moment to be silent until a knock on the dressing room door brought him out of his thoughts.
He jumped and looked over to see one of the soundcheck crew, who he knew was Kelsey, looking at him and smiling.
“Sorry, was I interrupting some sort of speech?” She asked and Phil shook his head.
“No, not at all. Sorry, I’m just a little nervous,” Phil chuckled unsurely, rubbing the back of his neck.
Phil knew Kelsey more than most of the soundcheck at this particular show and he got along well with her. When he first told her that he was planning on proposing to Dan on stage that night, she was incredibly in awe.
She was the first to know about Dan and Phil’s relationship on tour.
“ You don’t mind if I let the rest of the crew know about this so they don’t freak out when you keep the show going after the song? ” She had smiled and chuckled, leaving Phil to immediately tell her that it was completely okay to do that, just as long as Dan didn’t find out about anything.
“ Oh! We can add some effects for it! Let’s discuss ideas, ” Kelsey told Phil, clapping her hands in excitement. Phil agreed with her and they began discussing what they could add to make it seem like it was all part of the show.
Phil even rehearsed a few lines of what he was going to say to Dan with Kelsey. And here he was, ready to perform it on stage in just over an hour.
Kelsey put a hand on Phil’s back and smiled up at him.
“There’s nothing to worry about, Phil. Trust me, Dan’s going to ball his eyes out and scream yes into his microphone so loud that everyone’s ears will burst,” she said, which made Phil laugh.
“I mean, I hope that particular scenario doesn’t happen but I really hope he says ‘yes’,” Phil admitted, sucking in a deep breath.
“He will. Don’t doubt yourself too much, Phil. It’ll be okay,” Kelsey assured.
That made Phil feel better. His talk with Kelsey made his heart flutter with joy at the thought of Dan saying ‘yes’ to his proposal.
“Now, enough chit chat. You’ve got a show to put on,” Kelsey exclaimed in excitement and Phil nodded, realising he’d spent more than a few minutes in the dressing room worrying about what would happen at the end of the show.
Phil followed Kelsey down the sharp hallways towards the backstage area. He was greeted by the sound of his and Dan’s audience singing along to one of Fall Out Boy’s songs, and he couldn’t stop grinning. Knowing there was an audience waiting for them at every show made him nervous and excited, causing him to almost completely forget about the box in his back pocket.
“Oh my God, Phil! There you are, you were taking forever!” Phil heard Dan’s voice next to him and he looked worried.
“Sorry, Dan. I got slightly caught up,” he apologised but Dan was quick to smile at and hug him.
“You better go get your mic put on and checked quickly. We’re on in a minute,” Dan grinned before turning away from Phil and heading in the opposite direction of him.
Phil hurried his way over to the table where he would get his mic on and took in a deep breath. His hand fell against the box in his pocket and he let out a relieved sigh, knowing it was still there and he could still do this.
“Hey, Phil?” One of the men checking his mic asked and Phil looked over.
He raised an eyebrow and the man simply smiled at him, “good luck tonight.”
Phil knew he wasn’t saying good luck for the show overall. He knew it was for the scene that wasn’t a part of the script at all.
~
The confetti delicately fell down against the stage and the two boys standing there, smiles on their faces. Their final show in America was finished, in Dan’s mind, but for Phil, it was only just beginning.
They waved towards the audience and Phil’s nerves were creeping up on him again. He caught sight of the cameras filming him, and he knew this was real.
He was going to propose to Dan Howell .
As Dan opened up the microwave door for their grand exit, Phil stopped him.
“Wait!” He yelled dramatically into the microphone.
A sound effect was ripped through the speakers and the entirety of the lights went out except for one being put on Phil, who had his hands out. The entire room was ominously silent now.
He glanced over at Dan, who looked incredibly shocked and stunned. He clearly had no idea what was going on and this made Phil slightly more nervous.
Phil made his way towards the middle of the stage and the light followed him.
“Guys, I have a confession to make!” He exclaims and the crowd screams, hoping there might be more to the show after what they thought was the end.
“Dan, can you join me over here?” Phil asked, trying desperately to keep the tone of his voice steady as he looked back towards Dan, who was still in the same spot he was beforehand.
Another spotlight was placed on Dan, and he couldn’t help but smile at the faint blush that spread across Dan’s cheeks.
He watched Dan walk over, looking to Phil for some sort of reassurance that what he was doing was meant to be happening. Phil couldn’t give anything away except a slight nod.
“Outfit, please,” Phil requested, and Dan gave an awkward smile and chuckle.
Dan took off his golden top hat and jacket and handed the items to Phil.
Phil nodded and began taking off his own, wandering to the side of the stage to set the outfits down away and out of sight for now.
“For the record, everyone, I don’t have a single clue what’s going on,” Dan said, laughing nervously into the microphone.
“I can confirm this,” Phil added, smiling out at the audience before putting a hand around Dan’s waist.
The screams were immediate as he looked over at Dan.
“So Dan,” Phil started and Dan raised an eyebrow at him.
“Yes, Phil?”
“You know how much I love you, right?”
It was hard to block out the screaming, but Phil managed to only hear the sound of Dan’s breathing and see the way his cheeks were heating up quickly.
“I think so,” he chuckles and Phil smiles at the sound.
“We’ve been through a lot together, haven’t we? We’ve gone from living in a bad Manchester apartment to living in a better looking one in London, to having our own radio show, to writing a book together, to making a ‘coming out’ video together, to going on tour together,” Phil rambled and Dan’s blush was getting deeper by the minute.
All Phil could see and hear was Dan as if they were the only two people in the room.
“Yeah, I guess we have gone through a lot, haven’t we?” Dan smiled at Phil, almost forgetting they had an audience watching them the entire time.
“And you know that I love you more than anyone else in the entire world, Dan. It’s kind of hard to put into words how much I love you but, I want to try,” Phil took a deep breath, removing his hand from Dan’s waist and grabbing both of Dan’s hands. He turned them side-on to the audience, and Phil immediately got lost in Dan’s deep brown eyes.
“Dan,” he started, slowly getting down on one knee and trying not to wobble in the process of fall over. Knowing Phil, he might’ve.
Dan gasped loudly and took one of his hands away from Phil’s to cover his mouth that had fallen open. Phil chuckled softly at the expression on his boyfriend’s face. He also barely heard the screaming, even though he knew it was incredibly loud and could pierce his ears if he paid any attention to it. But Dan was the only thing in his vision at the moment and the only thing he could hear.
Phil started again from his previous sentence.
“Dan, I love you so much. More than you could ever imagine. I’ve known you for such a long time. Over seven years, to be exact, since we started talking on Skype. And honestly, I have never loved someone as much as I love you. I don’t really know how to put you into words, Dan. You’re funny, smart, cute, witty, sarcastic, and overall the best boyfriend in the entire world, as cliche as that sounds.You have made me the happiest man alive and I couldn’t thank you enough for being that beautiful presence that I get to wake up to every morning.
Every day that passes by, I seem to fall more in love with you and I don’t think I’m ever going to stop falling. You make me incredibly happy and we’ve done things together that I might not have ever done if you weren’t around. I’m so grateful that you’ve been with me for so long, Dan. I didn’t know someone could put up with me for so long,” Phil chuckled a bit, and he slightly heard the audience laugh as well.
Phil paused for a moment to just admire Dan. His eyes were glossy from the tears that were falling down his cheeks and his sobs were quiet but Phil still caught them; especially since their microphones were still on. Phil couldn’t help but feel himself falling a little more in love with this boy.
“I’ll stop rambling and just get on with it because I really want to ask this question that I’ve been thinking about for the past year,” Phil smiled, reaching around with his free hand to grab the black box out of his pocket.
Phil didn’t like the feeling of having to pull away from Dan’s other hand, but he couldn’t help but chuckle when he saw Dan immediately raise the hand to his mouth and bend over. His eyes shut and the tears were prominent on his face, but Phil still thought he looked beautiful.
“Daniel James Howell,” Phil started, the grin spreading across his face, “will you do me the honour of becoming my beautiful husband and marrying me?”
Phil fingers shakily opened up the box to display the ring inside and Dan’s expression was priceless. The younger boy was speechless and finding it hard to breathe now, but the admiration in his eyes at the sight of the ring made Phil’s heart flutter.
“I-Is this really happening?” Dan questioned through tears and Phil laughed when he heard clear ‘ yes! ’s from the audience.
“It’s really happening, Dan,” Phil smiled, but the nerves were still settled in his stomach.
Dan could still say no.
“J-Jesus Christ, Phil. Of c-course, I’ll marry you, y-you absolute idiot!” Dan exclaimed in stutters, reaching forward to pull Phil up into a standing position and hugged him tightly.
Dan was squeezing the absolute life out of Phil but he didn’t care. All he could think about was the arms of the younger boy wrapped around his neck and the fact that he only thought it was him and Dan in the room now.
Phil hugged Dan around the waist just as tightly but was suddenly pulled back to be brought into a kiss.
Dan had never initiated a kiss in front of their audience before, but frankly, he couldn’t care less. Phil was directly in front of him, with the ring box still tightly being grasped within his hands, and Dan loved him. A lot.
Phil chuckled into the kiss and brought Dan as close as possible until there was not a single space between them. He pulled back gently to rest his forehead against Dan’s and smiled up at the boy.
“Dan?” Phil spoke softly and Dan hummed in response.
“Can I put the ring on?” He asked and Dan nodded shortly, the grin being displayed on his lips for Phil. Only Phil.
Phil pulled his hands away from Dan’s waist to grab his hand. Dan looked like he was on the verge of tears again as Phil slowly took the ring out of the box and slipped it gently onto Dan’s finger.
Dan buried his face in Phil’s shoulder as he felt a tear fall down his cheek, soaking into Phil’s shirt.
“I love you so much, Phil Lester,” Dan mumbled and Phil smiled, hearing the crowd ‘ awe! ’ and scream in response.
“I love you, too. So much,” Phil responded and pressed a kiss to the top of Dan’s hair.
He looked over to their audience and grinned, reaching out a thumbs up to them as they began to clap and cheer for the two boys.
Phil was so in love with Dan. He made him happy and content with where they were today.
And Phil knew, their lives were only going to get better.