Chapter Text
In a world where everything you did and said, and who you did those things with and said those things to, was dictated by the name printed on your skin, a girl without a name was lost.
You had been born without a soul name. This hadn't worried your parents, it just meant that your soulmate hadn't been born yet, they simply kept an eye out for any appearance of ink on your skin no matter how small and the day you came home from preschool with marker all over your hands and face, your dad nearly had a heart attack while eagerly checking you over. It was the first of many disappointments.
Growing up wasn't so bad, a lot of kids at school didn't have their soul names yet, you had several friends who didn't, and most of you spent your time talking about whether it was a girl or a boy, whether or not they would like you, and often they took bets on who’s name would appear first. None of you mentioned the possibility of a name never appearing.
Your first day of Middle school involved a lot of looks, most children had gained a soul name around five to six years old, the older you got after that, the more adults eyes began to have that peculiar shine to them, the one that made your stomach roil with guilt, shame, and anger. Your vocabulary words in class that week were: Vocal, Confusion, Supposed, and Pity. The last one tasted bitter in your mouth.
By the time you turned twelve, everyone you knew in your age bracket had a name. Your friends had all stopped asking if you’d found yours yet, their calls and texts to come hang out came less and less, and eventually most of them stopped all together. You heard one girl’s mother say you were a defective. You didn't know what it meant, but it felt like it fit you, like putting on a new coat for the first time. A coat that marked you like a leper.
On your best friends Sweet 16, your family went to hers for dinner. You could tell something was up with all the little glances that kept getting thrown around the table, she waited till you were about to leave to tell you the good news,
“I found her. My parents contacted hers and we’re setting up a meeting for next week and- well I’m actually kind of scared, I didn't expect to be but I guess you never really know what’s going to happen and I want you to be there. I don’t think I could do it without you.”
She chewed on her fingernails when she was scared, she’d done it since the day you met her in kindergarten and she stuck playdough in Jared Stanson’s hair for making someone cry about not having their soul name yet. She was chewing them now, and you think that’s what made you agree to go.
The day they picked was nice. Sunny, slight breeze, it was a really good day to meet your soul mate on. You’ll probably never forget experiencing firsthand the moment two soulmates meet, it was like watching two stars collide, their eyes met and it was like a physical shift took place and you just knew…they were meant to be. Your friend looked like she’d just seen the sun rise for the first time. You cried when you got home.
The day you turned 17 was the first time they didn't ask about the name the minute you came downstairs. They wished you happy birthday, checked your back in case you’d somehow missed it, and then took you out for pizza and bowling. You heard them fighting later that night.
On your 18th birthday they stopped checking.