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Dennis didn’t know anything about soulmates. He understood the concept, but in Broken Bow, Nebraska, religious conservatives believed that the idea that a touch from your soulmate would leave a permanent mark on your skin was evil. Magic, witchcraft, demonic, and thus, not discussed. As a child, Dennis thought it seemed like a divine gift rather than a curse. When he expressed such romantic thoughts, his father was quick to beat it out of him. He did the same when Dennis at 15 said that he was attracted to other men. Rather than romantic, beautiful soulmate marks, Dennis only knew harsh, cruel bruises caused by his father’s “love.” His mother was marked with them too.
After years of not speaking of soulmate marks, Dennis forgot about them. When he was a freshman in college studying theology and his roommate came home with matching hibiscus flowers to his biology partner, he assumed they got matching tattoos for their shared love of natural sciences and love for each other. When he decided to pursue medicine and not theology, he forgot all about love and romance. He had no time for it. His family had officially thrown him out, his abandonment of the clergy was the nail in the proverbial coffin of his transgressions.
He had to survive, he had to work multiple jobs, make the best grades, and study for the MCAT. Then, he had medical school, which was even more busy, even harder classes, and even more expensive. When it came to his third and four years of rotations, he focused on getting placed at hospitals that offered student housing. But when he received the offer to do rotations at the Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center, he knew he had to take it. While they didn’t offer student housing, it was a great hospital, one Dennis considered himself lucky to be at. First was six weeks in internal medicine, followed by six weeks in the emergency room.
First, he found a shelter a few blocks from the hospital, but when he overheard nurses talking about the abandoned eighth floor, he snuck around to see if he could stay. It meant he wouldn’t miss the curfew of the shelter after a long shift, and actually sleep rather than protecting his belongings. He staked out for a few nights, testing if there were any cameras or if any security guards ever walked through. Nothing. He decided then, that he would stay and hope he didn’t get caught. Which he didn’t… for six weeks.
However, after his first day at “the Pitt.” Trinity Santos, an intern, followed him upstairs and offered him her extra bedroom. That first night in Trinity’s apartment, after one of the longest days of his life, he stared at the ceiling and thought about the chief of emergency medicine. His touch felt like fire, but Dennis didn’t want it to end. Dennis remembered finding him on the floor in pedes, something inside of him telling him not to run away from the man, despite Dennis having no idea on how to help him. What did Dennis even say, “You’ve gotta come back out there. Because if you don’t, the rest of us are fucked.” Smart. Helpful. Super eloquent, Dennis. Not. Completely unlike Robby’s own wisdom, “You learn to accept it. Find the balance.” Even when Robby pushed him away, Dennis was just grateful he had gotten the doctor off the floor. The push wasn’t aggressive, and Dennis felt it was more for Robby than Dennis. A way for Robby to take back control of the situation after a weak moment. But Dennis’ chest burned from the contact. His dreams were full of the man in question.
Across the city, in his townhome, Robby watched as pink and red carnations sprouted along his wrist. The same place that the adorable mouse-eyed medical student had pulled him from the floor. He knew what this meant, but he had long given up on it for himself. He was 51 years old, he thought if he had a soulmate, that they would’ve shown themselves by now. But he was wrong, he just hadn’t been born yet.
Robby rubbed a hand down his face and wondered how he was going to handle this situation. There were HR policies in place for this. Dennis might have to move to night shift so that he wasn’t under Robby’s supervision, but HR couldn’t prevent the relationship when it was destined by fate. He would talk to Dennis and see how Dennis wanted to handle it. They could probably keep it under wraps until his rotation ended. It would be believable that they didn’t have any direct contact during Dennis’ short stint in the ER. He would let Dennis decide. He was the more vulnerable person, younger, his career ahead of him. Hell, Robby would even consider an early retirement, he was just happy to finally have a soulmate. It eased some of the deep ache in his soul that had been accumulating. If Dennis’ support during Pittfest was any indication on the impact he would have on Robby’s life, then maybe Robby’s soul could be repaired. Wasn’t that why soulmates existed? To fill the holes in your soul? Robby, for the first time in a long time, fell asleep smiling, excited about his future.
The next day at the Pitt, Jack and Dana immediately noticed Robby’s marks on his wrist. Robby told the pair that he hadn’t had the chance to talk to the person who caused them yet and he would tell them all about once he spoke to them. Dana didn’t miss that Robby was not using “she” or “her” when talking about his new soulmate.
When Dennis and Trinity walked into the Pitt, Robby contemplated how he would pull Dennis aside for this conversation. He decided he would follow the pair into the locker room, pour himself a coffee and ask Dennis to hang back. He walked in on the two putting their bags in their locker.
“Whitaker, can you stay for a minute?” Trinity looked between the two men and then slipped out of the door without a word. Dennis looked at the door wishing he could go with her. He wasn’t ready to face Dr. Robby after dreaming of him all night.
“Yes, sir? Did I do something wrong?” Dennis asked and folded his hands together nervously.
“No, of course not. I just thought we needed to talk after yesterday.” Dr. Robby said, a hint of a question in his tone.
“I’m fine. I mean, it was a hard day, a lot to process but I liked being able to help people. That's why I want to be a doctor.” Robby nodded.
“And what about us?” Dennis was confused for a moment, but assumed that he was talking about their moment in pedes.
“We’re fine Dr. Robby. We talked about it. I won’t tell anyone and you have nothing to apologize for.” Dennis said with a small smile. “Just return the favor when this place tries to eat me alive.” Before Robby could answer or address their marks, Jack poked his head in the door and told him there was an incoming trauma. Robby and Dennis snapped into work mode, following Jack to the ambulance bay.
Hours pass, the two men working around each other with incredible chemistry. Whispers of Langdon’s absence and “Robby’s new favorite” were circling around the Pitt. Trinity teased Dennis when she overheard Perlah and Princess call Dennis “Robby’s little stress ball.” Dennis took the teasing in stride. He liked being associated with Robby. He preened with every squeeze of his shoulder. It was around two in the afternoon when Robby had a moment to talk to Dennis again.
“Hey, Whitaker, can we finish our talk?”
“I thought we had. Is there something else?” Robby was confused by Dennis’ reaction.
“Do you not have any marks?” Maybe Robby was wrong. Maybe someone else had touched his wrist yesterday. But he felt so sure that Dennis was his soulmate.
“Marks?” Dennis asked. Robby held out his wrist and pulled up his sleeve to show Dennis the flowers on his wrist. “Do you mean tattoos? I don’t have any tattoos, Dr. Robby, they were looked down upon where I’m from. I don’t even know what I would get if I got one. But those flowers are beautiful. Carnations right?” Robby nodded. After a moment he added,
“Dennis, these aren’t tattoos.” Once again, the two men were interrupted, Dana calling out a code for Dennis’ patient. Later, Robby was watching Dennis catch up on charting with Santos. He couldn’t remember the first time he touched Dennis. It was probably his shoulder, maybe his neck, but Robby didn’t see anything poking out of the v-neck of his scrubs. He wondered if it was possible if Dennis hadn’t seen his mark yet. Otherwise, Robby would have to rethink every minute of one of the worst days to determine who touched his wrist. And he honestly wasn’t sure he wanted to with how disappointing the idea of Dennis Whitaker being someone else’s soulmate.
Dennis hadn’t seen his mark. He had showered last night in a fog from the craziness of the day. He and Trinity both slept in and were rushing to get dressed and get into work during the morning. And somehow, Dennis had not had any spills or accidents for him to have to change his scrubs. Mateo was pissed he lost the bet to Donnie. Once Dennis got home from his second day, not only his chest, but his shoulders and neck felt like he had been sunburnt. When he stripped his shirt off in the bathroom, he saw a pink carnation, the size of a handprint over his heart. He also saw smaller pink and red carnations scattered around his shoulders and the nape of his neck. He remembered the beautiful flowers covering Dr. Robby’s wrists. At first he didn’t understand, but memories from his childhood flashed through his mind. Words like “marks, evil, witchcraft” being all he could remember from a man on a pulpit screaming at him. This must’ve been what Robby wanted to discuss. He wanted to blame Dennis for scarring his body with marks of the Devil. Dennis didn’t know how he did it, but poor Robby’s marks were public. He couldn’t hide them. He decided he couldn’t let Robby know he had the marks too. He would hide his marks and deny them if Robby asked about them again. He couldn’t risk upsetting Dr. Robby and losing his favor.
The next day, Robby brought up the marks again. Robby was hoping that the boy just hadn’t noticed them yet. However, Dennis again complimented Robby’s flowers but then denied having anything similar, tattoos or otherwise. Robby determined that Dennis wasn’t his soulmate, and he also decided he wasn’t going to look for them. It wouldn’t be fair to them when in two days he had gotten so attached to the idea of it being his med student.
Dennis’ rotation in the Pitt went by fairly quickly after that. He and Robby still worked like they shared one brain when they worked a trauma together. The touching lessened, but didn’t go away completely. Dr. Robby wrote Dennis a kind, encouraging, and professional letter of recommendation for his residency applications. Dennis immersed himself in the group of medical students and residents of the Pitt, going to game nights and out to the bars when they all made time. Trinity became like a sister to him and in her own way, she invited him to stay after his rotation ended.
“I bought you a second pillow for the bed in there and a new comforter set so you have enough sheets. Only fucking psychopaths have one pillow and one set of sheets.”
Both of them knew what it meant, Dennis just nodded in response and smiled at the ground when she walked out of the bedroom, dropping the new things at the doorway.
About a month after Dennis was into his next rotation when he started to get sick. He felt like he had the flu, he had the muscle aches and chills of the flu, but no congestion or fever. Getting out of bed felt harder every day and he felt like no matter how many blankets he slept with or layers he wore, he couldn’t get warm. He assumed that he just wasn’t used to winters in Pittsburgh, he didn’t realize they would be worse than the ones he grew up with in Nebraska. The flowers across his upper body were beginning to fade in color. Still noticeable but lacking life and color. He hoped Dr. Robby’s were fading prettier, making them less visible and painful for Robby to look at everyday. Dennis still loved his flowers. Even if they were evil or twisted in some way, they reminded him of Robby and Dennis couldn’t bring himself to hate them.
Around the same time, Robby’s mood worsened in the Pitt. He was snapping at residents and medical students. He was irritable and his body was sore constantly. He knew it was the effects of not looking for his soulmate, but he couldn’t not when he was still thinking about the med student with the big, sad, blue eyes who helped him off the floor.
March came around and Dennis matched with PTMC at the Pitt. Robby got the list before Dennis would find out. Robby didn’t know if he was happy that Dennis was returning or not. Before Dennis matched at PTMC, Robby had thought about whether he could pursue a relationship with Dennis even if they weren’t soulmates. He missed him everyday. But now, he didn’t think it was appropriate. Robby would be his boss and twice his age. Without the protection of being fated soulmates, Dennis’ career would be affected and no one would take him seriously again. But, Dennis matching at the Pitt meant that Robby would see him again. He could be his friend, help him grow into the amazing doctor Robby knew he would be. That would just have to be enough.
At the end of May, Trinity invited Dennis to a pool party with some friends she had from medical school for memorial day. Dennis agreed but told Trinity that he didn’t want to swim because he was uncomfortable taking his shirt off around strangers. Trinity teased him a little but ultimately supported him. Dennis was wearing a light grey t-shirt at the party. He was a little tipsy and when someone bumped into him, he fell into the pool. Trinity was flirting with a woman on the side of the pool, feet dangling in the water when she saw it happen. She jumped the rest of the way into the water and swam over to Dennis to make sure he was okay. When she reached him, he had already resurfaced and was treading water. Trinity pushed his shoulder and cursed him for scaring him, but when she pulled her hands back, she noticed the dark outline of the flowers through his wet t-shirt. They looked familiar but she couldn’t place them. Dennis, seeing where her gaze went, got out of the pool as quickly as possible and wrapped a towel around his shoulders. He told Trinity that she should stay and catch up with her friends, but that he was going home to get dry.
Robby felt himself slipping all summer. Shifts felt longer, sleep was evading him, the Pitt was slowing killing him. His grip on control was gone. He decided he didn’t want to be here anymore. But he knew he had to see Dennis one last time. So he planned a three month sabbatical starting the day after Dennis’ began his residency. He made plans. He would ask Dennis to house sit for him, leaving him the place in his will. He would say goodbye to Jack and Dana, and he would make sure his replacement could carry the torch. Then, he would head out on the open road on his motorcycle. No helmet. If the fates took him that way, it would look like an accident. If he made it out west, he would find a beautiful spot and jump. He would do it away from the hospital, not wanting anyone to see him like that, but finally getting to experience the free-fall that he considered almost nightly on the roof. He had plans, and he executed them.
“Hey you wanna do me a favor? You wanna house sit for me?” Dennis was shocked by the offer. He was disappointed when he returned to the Pitt only to learn that Robby was immediately taking a sabbatical. He had been excited to be in the older man’s orbit again. He agreed to housesit, but his curiosity about seeing the man’s home quickly turned into concern. “And if I don’t come back, you’ve got a swinging bachelor pad.” Dennis’ veins ran cold.
“Trin, you got a minute?” He pulled her into a private hallway and told him what Dr. Robby had asked him, what he told him.
“He’s been off. Angry, irritated, lashing out at people he cares about. You should’ve heard him scream at Mohan earlier. He can barely look Jack in the eyes. This is bad.” She responded. “I thought maybe you coming back would help.”
“Me? Why me?”
“Because you were always his favorite, Huckleberry. His little stress ball.” Trinity suddenly remembered the flowers she saw on Dennis’s chest at the pool party months ago. She reached for his shirt and pulled the collar down. Carnations, the same as the ones Robby had told everyone he got tattooed as a midlife crisis. “Dennis. How long has this been going on? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Nothing’s been going on.” He pushed her hands off of him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Dennis. Your marks. They match Robby’s. How long have you known he was your soulmate?” Trinity said harshly. She wondered if all those times Dennis said he was helping with street team or going to Amy’s farm was a cover up to go spend time with Dr. Robby.
“My what? Soulmates aren’t real, Trinity. These are just… they aren’t… you can’t tell him okay? He’ll be so mad at me.” Dennis said, voice panicky.
“Soulmates are absolutely real.” Trinity pulled her long sleeve up, a mark of three small daisies cluttered on her forearm. “These showed up when Parker touched me for the first time a couple months ago. We’ve been together since.”
“Yeah, I know. That’s why you stopped seeing Garcia, which she was never good for you. Dr. Ellis is much better.”
“Yeah, she is. Because she’s my soulmate.” Trinity pulled out her phone and showed Dennis a picture of Parker’s matching daisy in the middle of her right palm, where she had grabbed Trinity’s arm out in the ambulance bay when she dropped her phone. “People get marks that match their soulmates when they touch. You’re littered in them from Robby’s manhandling. And he has the same ones on his wrist. How could you not know?” Trinity was shocked by Dennis’ ignorance.
“No, I cursed him. Those marks. I was told they were evil, witchcraft. I don’t remember anything about soulmates. I just remember them being bad.”
“Huckleberry, they are the opposite of bad.” She said gently. “They are a gift. No wonder you’ve been so anxious for the last ten months and Robby’s a headcase. You need to go talk to him. Especially if you’re right about his plans for this sabbatical. He probably thinks you don’t want him back or he doesn’t know it’s you and he thinks his soulmate abandoned him. You’ve got to fix this. For both of you.”
“How? Just walk up to him and say ‘Hey, boss! I think you’re my soulmate. Sorry I’m from backwoods Nebraska and I thought I had cursed you with the Devil. Please don’t kill yourself!’ Yeah, Trin, I’m sure that’ll go over suuuuuuuuuper well.”
“What?” A deep voice called from the edge of the hallway. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” Neither Trinity nor Dennis had ever heard Robby sound so unsure. Robby steeled himself and walked over to the pair. “Trinity, could you excuse us for a moment?” She nodded and walked away, whispering good luck to Dennis. “I’m going to ask you one more time, Dennis.” Robby lifted his wrists to Dennis’s eye level. “Do you have any marks on your body that match these?” Dennis couldn’t look at him. He looked at the floor and nodded. Then he tugged the neck of his collar to the left, showing the beginning of the carnations running beneath the fabric.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Dr. Robby.” Dennis whispered weakly.
“Michael.” That caused Dennis’ head to whip up. Once his tear-filled eyes met Robby’s, Robby wrapped him in a tight hug. One of his large hands in Dennis’ curls, the other around his waist. Dennis’ hands wrapped around the man’s middle. “Thank you. Thank you for telling me.” Robby whispered in Dennis’ ear. They just held each other like that for a moment, it wasn’t clear who needed the touch more. Finally, Robby pulled away. He wiped Dennis’ eyes and then his own. “You didn’t know?”
“No, I was told that marks were the sign of the devil, something evil. Witchcraft or some shit. Then we didn’t talk about it ever again. The first time you asked, I really hadn’t noticed them. But then later, I thought if I told you, you would be mad. So I hid them. Trinity is the one who just put it together.”
“I owe Santos. What does she like? Chocolate? Flowers? Tequila? Whatever, I’ll get her all three. I just thought that you weren’t mine, and whoever was deserved better than someone pining after his 20-something year old med student.”
“I’m yours?” Dennis asked.
“Mine.” Robby confirmed gently. Dennis laid his head on Robby’s chest. He took a deep breath.
“I might need a minute to wrap my head around all this.” Dennis said.
“Take as much time as you need. I’m not going anywhere.” Dennis lifted his head.
“What about your sabbatical?”
“I don’t need it anymore. Well I might still take some time off. But, I’m not going to… you know… I couldn’t.” Dennis felt relieved.
“Good. Don’t. Ever.” Robby kissed the top of Dennis’ head, a promise without saying anything. “Just because I don’t get the soulmate thing, doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you. I’ve had a crush on you since, well, since my first day.” Robby smirked at him.
“Oh yeah? Well that makes two of us. I can’t tell you how disappointed I was when you didn’t have any marks. I was sure it was you.”
“It was. I’m sorry I didn’t know.” Robby shook his head.
“Don’t be sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t clear. I shouldn’t have beat around the bush. I should’ve just asked you like an adult, and these past 10 months would’ve been a lot different.” Robby rubbed his knuckles on Dennis’ face. “How about you come over for dinner tonight and we talk about what we do next, okay?”
“Okay.” They both smiled. Robby squeezed Dennis shoulder, it felt warmer, knowing that there were carnations on his skin there. They went back to work. Robby was lighter. He apologized to Mohan. He apologized to Dana and Jack, he knew they were worried about him. He said he would explain later, but that everything was okay. Because it was. Better than okay.
Hours later, Dennis met Robby in the ambulance bay by his bike. Robby held out the helmet to Dennis.
“What about you?” Dennis asked.
“I’m used to going without. I’ll be okay.” Dennis glared.
“Just this once, then never again. You drive slow. No highways. And tomorrow, we get a second helmet. Or we could just get rid of the bike altogether.” Dennis’ voice was firm.
“Whitaker? Find out you're my soulmate and think you run my life now?” Robby teased. “I’m still your boss.”
“Not right now. We clocked out. Besides, what’s that saying, save a motorcycle, ride a resident?” Dennis enjoyed flirting with the attending. He had dreamed of it for months. Robby’s eyes went wide.
“I don’t think that’s how the song goes, kid.”
“Whatever” Dennis shrugged and put the helmet on. Robby climbed on the bike first, then Dennis. He wrapped his arms around him and tapped his stomach. “I’m serious. Slow. No highways.” Robby nodded and revved the engine. He drove below the speed limit the whole time. He was in no rush, they had time.
Dennis might’ve changed his mind about getting rid of the motorcycle. It was strangely comforting to ride with his head resting against Robby’s back, arms around his stomach, and thigh pressing against his while he watched the world go by. It was a quick ride, even with Robby driving slowly. Once Robby parked and they got off the bike, Dennis felt nervous. Robby smiled at him and grabbed his smaller hand in Robby’s large one. He gave a gentle squeeze and then headed towards the door. Robby lived in an old townhouse, not huge, probably two bedrooms, but spacious first floor with an elaborate wood staircase leading upstairs. Robby took the helmet from Dennis’ other hand and hung it on a coat rack at the doorway. Then, Robby took Dennis’ backpack from him and laid it on a chair in the living room.
“You’re welcome to take your shoes off but you don’t have to.” Robby said as he walked towards the kitchen. “I thought I’d make us some pasta. Quick, easy, nothing fancy. Do you want to shower?” Dennis shook his head.
“No, I’m okay.”
“Great, sit there.” Robby pointed at the barstool on the side of the island in the middle. It had a cool butcher block countertop.
“I like your house. Can I help cook anything?”
“Just sit there and look pretty.” That made Dennis blush. Robby pulled his sleeves up and his carnation marks were on full display. Dennis noticed the bright hues of pink and red that the flowers had taken on since this afternoon. He hoped his had done the same. “How are you feeling?” Robby asked while he waited for the water to boil.
“Umm. I’m not sure I believe this is real yet. I’m a little embarrassed that I didn’t know something so clearly important, and I feel a little stupid I assumed the worst. I mean, I left Nebraska because I know the small town I lived in was stuck in the past. I just didn’t realize I was stuck there too.”
“You’re not stupid. And you don’t need to be embarrassed. I’m just glad we got here.” Dennis nodded.
“Are we dating then? I mean Trin and Ellis are basically glued at the hip when they aren’t working. Is that how this goes… you find your soulmate and then poof, happily ever after?”
“We can be dating if you want to. Or we can take it slow. I’ve waited for 51 years, I can wait a little longer for you to decide what you want this to be. Jack and Liz were just friends for a while. Liz was scared of getting too attached to him when he was going overseas. She thought if she waited for him to come back, then if he didn’t, it would hurt less.” Robby chuckled. “Jack hated it. He thought it was stupid he could die without ever kissing her. But then they had nearly 20 years together before she passed. He says he doesn't regret a thing.”
“That’s sweet. Do you think people get second chances? Like was Liz’s Jack’s one and only soulmate?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think he would mind if that were true. He still wears the ring. But I’m sure some people get second chances, or they create them.”
“How come you never found someone else? Did you not want a relationship or …” Dennis trailed off, thinking he might be overstepping.
“I always wanted to find my soulmate. As the years went by, I started to give up hope. So I would do causal relationships. Jack and Dana said I would get ‘the seven-week itch’ and end whatever I was doing before it got too serious. I didn’t know why I couldn’t commit then, but I’m starting to think that although my head might’ve given up, my heart was still waiting.” Robby looked into Dennis’ blue eyes. “For you.” Again, Dennis blushed.
“I waited for you too. Not on purpose. Obviously, I didn’t know about the whole soulmate thing. But there weren’t a lot of gay guys in Broken Bow. Then college and medical school, I was too busy studying and trying not to drown that I couldn’t even think about relationships or sex. I just was going through the motions. Until the Pitt. Until Trinity saved me. And You.” Dennis needed to lighten the air. It had gotten thick with their confessions. “I guess what I’m trying to say is temper your expectations if you thought you ended up with a 20-something year old seductress.” He teased.
“You’re perfect. Besides, I'll have fun corrupting you.” Robby winked at him. “So all that about ‘saving a bike’ was just bravado, huh?”
“I’m a virgin, not a prude, Michael." Dennis said and Robby swatted him with a dish towel.
“A brat too. So we’re dating?” Dennis nodded with a happy grin. Robby would do everything in his power to keep it there. Robby gently grabbed Dennis’ face and leaned down to kiss him. It was perfect. Like a breath of fresh air after being underwater. Dennis reached his arms up, one hand gripped Robby’s shirt, the other slid around his neck. Robby deepened the kiss. Dennis eventually pulled away to breathe and Robby rested his forehead on the younger man’s, just enjoying the closeness.
After a minute, Robby walked over to the stove, scooped a noodle onto a fork and offered it to Dennis to see if it was fully cooked. Dennis nodded. Robby killed the heat on the water and the sauce he warmed up from a jar. He prepared two plates and set one in front of Dennis. “Do you want to tell HR? There are policies in place that protect us in this situation, you mostly.”
“If you think that’s smart, I don’t know enough to make the decision.” Dennis said.
“I do. I don’t want anyone thinking you didn’t earn your place in the hospital. You did. I never interfered with your education.” Robby said seriously.
“I didn’t think you did, Robby. I don’t even think I tried in my other interviews. I only wanted to be at the Pitt.”
“We wanted you back too. Do you want to tell them?” Dennis knew Robby meant their coworkers.
“Trinity already knows.”
“I know, but I have a feeling she wouldn’t tell anyone if you asked.” Dennis nodded, Robby was right.
“Can we not tell them, but also not make a big deal about it? Just if people put it together or find out, it’s not a secret. But I don’t want to do any type of announcement in the middle of the floor. That feels weird.”
“Of course. That sounds great.” Robby agreed.
“What about your sabbatical?”
“I was thinking I would shorten it to a month. Step away, get my head on straight. Spend time with you.” Dennis nodded thoughtfully.
“Maybe you could talk to someone.” It wasn’t the first time Robby had gotten the suggestion, but that was before he knew Dennis was his soulmate and he felt like he had nothing to stick around for. “I know you said you’re not gonna… that you’re not going anywhere. But, the soulmate thing wasn’t the only thing that put you in that dark place where you were thinking about … going away.” Dennis paused. “You didn’t have a soulmate for 51 years and you handled it. I just don’t want this” Dennis pointed between the two of them, “to be a bandaid. I want you to be happy and healthy.”
“I’ll think about it.” Robby knew he would do it now that Dennis had explicitly asked, but it was still hard for him to give in right away.
“That’s all I can ask. I want as long as I can get with you.”
“Me too. I guess I better start eating better and exercising. Maybe I could start doing yoga with Abbott.”
“Not naked.” Dennis waved his fork at Robby. “I’m a jealous person.” Robby smiled. Their conversation turned into less serious topics, catching up on the mundane parts of the last 10 months of their lives. Exchanges tidbits about themselves and just enjoying the other’s company. At some point, Robby offered to move to the couch so they could be more comfortable. He asked Dennis if he wanted to watch a movie. Dennis said yes and picked out some old western that was playing. Throughout the movie, Dennis slowly began to lean against Robby, Robby wrapped his arm around Dennis’ shoulder. After a while, Robby realized Dennis was dozing off.
“Dennis.” He whispered. He nudged his thigh. “Dennis, wake up, baby.” Dennis’ eyes fluttered open. “Do you want to spend the night? We don’t have to do anything but sleep.” Dennis nodded and mumbled something Robby couldn’t understand. “What was that?” Robby grinned.
“Text Trinity. Worried.” Robby grabbed Dennis’ phone off of the side table and handed it to Dennis. He watched him type something out, then throw his phone on the couch cushion. He snuggled into Robby’s chest.
“Baby, Den. Let’s go to bed.” Robby shifted, not wanting Dennis to get too comfortable. Dennis groaned. “Yeah, yeah, I know. While I might make a great pillow, this couch doesn’t. Let’s go.” Dennis got up, wrapped the blanket that had been on their lap around his shoulders and gestured for Robby to lead the way. Robby kissed the man quickly, too tempted not to before heading upstairs. Robby opened the bedroom door and showed Dennis the bathroom. He then grabbed a pair of boxers and an old t-shirt for Dennis to sleep in and a pair of grey sweatpants for him. He changed and then knocked on the bathroom door. Dennis opened the door and then returned to washing his hands. “These okay?” He held up the clothes. “I think any sweatpants I have would be too long for you.” Dennis accepted the clothes. “Could I see them?” Dennis tilted his head at Robby. “Your marks? I just realized that I haven’t seen them yet.”
“Oh! Of course.” Dennis stripped his scrub top and undershirt off at the same time. He stood bare-chested and silent for a moment. Robby slowly traced his index finger over the largest carnation over his heart.
“Was this the first?” He asked. Dennis nodded. “When did I touch you here? I don’t remember.”
“In pedes. I pulled you off the floor.” Dennis touched Robby’s marks gently. “And then you pushed me away. Not hard. You just needed some space.”
“I’m sorry. I wish you didn’t have to remember that this way.”
“Stop. I’m not sorry. I love that I was there for you that day. I felt like you could hold the entire world on your shoulders, and if I could just help hold you, then that was enough.” Dennis moved his hand from Robby’s wrist and moved Robby’s hand to the marks lining his shoulders. “Besides, it seems fate knew I needed extra marks to show how handsy my soulmate was that first day. Couldn’t decide which touch to keep, so it marked them all. I love them. I always have, even when I thought you wouldn’t.”
“I love them so much.” Robby whispered. “They’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.” He said looking at the flowers adoringly and then moved his gaze to Dennis’ eyes. Dennis leaned up and kissed him. Savoring this moment.
“I love you.” Dennis whispered. “I think I have since that day.”
“I know I have. I love you too.” Robby kissed him again. “Let’s go to bed.”
Dennis never put on Robby’s shirt, just peeled off his scrub pants and climbed under the blankets but on top of his soulmate. Robby’s hand came up Dennis’ back and traced the flowers with his fingertips. They drifted off like that, each having the most peaceful sleep of their lives.