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Drowning, water filling up his parched and dry mouth, gurgling and swallowing what remains of his clarity.
“Meaningless” He stood under the shower. Body bared and vulnerable, all devoid of rationality, all it remains an echo of this stinging feeling in his already tired eyes.
“Meaningless..” His hand balled into a fist, digging into the hard cold tile of the shower walls… He needs something to grip onto…something with meaning…something real.
“All these…bloodshed…all for what?” He muttered under his breath. Again. Again. Again
“Meaningless.”
“Meaningless.”
A pale shell of his friend, lying on the cold hard steel of the gurney. Haibara was his name, was it? Why does it matter anymore when all we are to this world is a bunch of weapons, to be broken down, used, trained, stripped off of everything dear to us and for what?! More piles of bodies upon bodies upon bodies.
Not even a sincere “thank you” was ever heard…
“What’s the point?” He muttered under his breath, this time with more venom.
What’s the point? What’s the point?
“Hey Suguru, you know there are ways to change this world forever… but obviously the craziest one is impossible- I mean who is even crazy enough to kill ALL non sorcerers?” Yuki Tsukomo snorts and waved that idea off lightheartedly, probably something she said without much thought to lighten up the mood. To her it was just a funny joke, but to Suguru… now standing under the shower for god knows how long. It was his music. It was all he could think of…
Like the disgusting, ugly, bitter, horrible curses that he swallows, all into him to fill, it didn’t taste good, it never filled that hole in his heart either… in all of this dread and noise, all he could think of this idea.. twisted idea, but it is a possibility nonetheless.
“Don’t youuu just hate these monkeys hmm Suguru!” A soft laugh echoed into his mind, like a minty balm that soothes your nerves duringc a headache.
Long white lashes blinking through the wind, those wide pearly teeth when he grinned.
“Suguru~ let’s go watch this movie after our mission okay? My treat because I am your bestest bestest friend in the whole world right? Suguru???” His bright blue eyes that reflects the world that looked at him with so much love. His beautiful eyes that literally is blessed by the gods to be all seeing, with all that ability in his gaze and he chose to look at me. This awful, curse tasting, pathetic, ordinary me.
To think someone who has the will of defying literal atoms, chose ME to be his one and only weakness
I’m not worthy to stand beside you
“Goddd that movie was such a slog to go through!! You’re literally torturing me by dragging me to the cinema Satoruuu”
Satoru. That name reminds him of everything that is good in this world.
Because to the all high and mighty Gojo Satoru that has the power to destroy the whole world in one snap of his fingers. He couldn’t dare to destroy it, why?
Because Gojo Satoru’s whole world is standing right in front of him
Unworthiness.
If only Suguru knew how much Satoru deeply cared.
Meaningless.
If only Satoru also knew how Suguru’s world is also standing right in front of him
Pointless.
If only he knew how much meaning he would find if he realised that the catalyst to change the Jujutsu world he loathed so much is standing right in front of him. All this time, his best friend- no, soulmate is right there.
“Come on Suguru, I don’t care, they dragged me away from you and I will make up lost time hanging out with you! Hmph!” Satoru pulled Suguru’s wrist, dragging and pulling him to the cinema.
If only he knew that he couldn’t feel Satoru’s warmth of his hand, his heart still felt hotter than the sun. How warm his heart filled up, that cursed, bitter, oozing black hole of his heart, Satoru soothed him like a balm.
“Hey Suguru, let’s kill these fucking monkeys huh?” Satoru whispered as he carried the poor lifeless Riko in his arms.
“Satoru, you know that’s not the right thing to do, we’re not supposed to kill anyone without reason” Suguru advised, it wasn’t him, god he wished he could snap all these cultists in half too but, it’s not the right thing to do right?
“Monkeys.” He gritted his teeth as the pouring water above him started feeling like tiny knives stabbing into his back
“Fucking cursed monkeys.”
His balled up fist slammed into the wall.
“Suguru, I’m sorry I can’t hang out with you for now, I just got sent out on another solo mission..” Satoru sighed in disappointment.
“Oh it’s alright Satoru, I know you’re busy, because you’re the strongest one right? Everyone counts on you!” He forced out a smile, his eye twitching slightly from how tired they are.
Don’t leave me here now. Not by myself surrounded by Monkeys.
He forced a grin, his jaw twitching from how anxiety ridden he is.
“Take care of yourself okay? I noticed you lost a lot of weight alright?” Satoru’s usual casual tone turned serious for a moment.
Suguru took in a deep breath, hoping the air filled his deep, cursed hole in his heart again.
He slowly waved goodbye
“I’ll see you later, Suguru!”
He clutched his hand tightly as his world walked away from him. Leaving him in this cruel, dark, corrupted and cursed world, all by himself.
“See you..” he closed his eyes
And he reopened his eyes to the sight of blood all over his hands, shirt, walls, floor, even ceiling dripping of blood, human blood, no…not his own blood.
The blood of these fucking Monkeys.
“Soon..”