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The house always wins.

Summary:

During a long trip on a Marine Warship, three Warlords play poker.

DofuWani Week 2026 – Day 5: Outfit Swap.

Notes:

Hello! Welcome back to my fanfics! :D

I think I'm doing pretty well keeping up well with the DofuWani Week, so I'm kind of proud of myself :3

Here you have today's work, I hope you enjoy it! <3

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

They were trapped on a Marine Warship.

Well, maybe `trapped´ wasn’t the right word, as they were just being escorted as Warlords by the Marines for a mission, but the trip has been slow and boring. Someone had had the bright idea of putting the three of them together so they would be easier to handle, in fear of Doflamingo going on a killing spree on his way to this island, Crocodile bribing someone to get himself free of the mission, or Mihawk straying away on his boat and `getting lost´.

Of course, Doflamingo and Crocodile could still do that and leave their posts, but the swordsman didn’t have a good enough reason to avoid following straight orders, and if he had to go to that mission, so would the other two. The yellow-eyed man didn’t like to be used to keep in check his companions, but it would have been worse to have to take care of this mission alone.

That was the reason they were in the mess hall, sharing space and playing poker. The first days the Warlords had been by their own, each of them spending time alone in their personal cabins, but the journey had been long. It had only taken three days for Doflamingo to start stalking Crocodile, and four days for the blond to start harassing him. By the sixth day, the sand man was about to snap and start actually fighting the tall nuisance, and some terrified Marines had begged Mihawk to do something about it.

The swordsman wasn’t sure why those useless idiots would ask him to intervene, but in truth, he was annoyed as well by their behaviour. In the end, it had been Mihawk who had convinced Crocodile to have a drink and play cards, and as if it was the natural course of events, the blond had joined them only a while later.

They played poker, the swordsman losing every single hand. It was only after a few hands, the time it probably took Doflamingo to assess the situation, when he stopped the game.

“Why don't we make this more interesting?” The blond asked with a mocking smirk, his eyes fixed on the object of his obsession. “We should make some bets to spice things up.”

“I don’t need or want your money, birdbrain.” Crocodile said dryly before taking a drag of his cigar, not even bothering to look at the taller man. “It would be like stealing candy from a child. Useless and hardly exciting.”

“Fufufu! Who said anything about money? I know you’re a very wealthy man.” Doflamingo’s smile widened, his expression like the one of a predator whose prey had walked just where he wanted it. “If I win, I want you to spend a whole day with me, Croco.” He purred. “No complaining, no running away, just the two of us on my terms.”

The sand man’s eyebrow twitched, a vein very visible on his temple. Mihawk wondered if the man was about to snap and he would have to finally intervene so the ship wouldn’t sink.

“Fine, but if I win, you’ll leave me alone for a month.” Crocodile growled, sending a nasty look at the other man. He knew that much was already the limit the blond was willing to allow, so asking for more time would be useless. “In addition to the duration of this mission.” Doflamingo narrowed his eyes slightly, but before he could say anything, the sand man turned his head around to look at the third man in the room. “What about you, Hawk Eyes? You in?”

Mihawk wasn’t too interested in bets or whatsoever, but by the way the older man had asked, it looked like everything would be off the table if he refused. The swordsman didn’t know if Crocodile wanted fairness, business, or was trying to get something out of him.

“Don’t be like that, Croco.” Doflamingo commented, his voice always filled with mockery, one way or another. “The poor man is losing spectacularly, wouldn’t it be too easy and hardly exciting to win against him?”

It was a clear taunt, not meant to help Mihawk but to make him enter the bet head first. The swordsman knew it but he didn’t care, as he had never backed off against a challenge.

“Tell me how we play this game first.” The yellow-eyed man started calmly. “And I’ll consider it.”

“You don’t know the rules?” Crocodile asked with a small frown after a second of silence. “Why hadn’t you asked before?”

“I’m hardly interested in playing poker.” Mihawk replied, grabbing his glass of wine from the table and taking a deliberate sip. “But I’m not dumb enough to bet anything without knowing how to play.”

The next minutes were used in explaining everything to the swordsman, the thought of cheating not even passing through their minds. If the other two Warlords explained something incorrectly it would be obvious later, while they were playing, and Hawk Eyes would not be amused. They also didn’t see someone that was just learning the rules as a threat.

“Okay.” Mihawk nodded when he was sure he understood and remembered everything. “What are the bets? I won’t accept anything ridiculous.”

“We’re not delusional— or at least I’m not.” Crocodile commented. “If I ever find myself running away from someone and seek refuge, you’ll take me in for a while, no questions asked.”

The sand man was cautious, though the yellow-eyed man didn’t expect for him to say that in front of Doflamingo. Maybe it was a warning in its own way, Mihawk didn’t care, he only nodded and then shifted his gaze towards the other Warlord.

“It will be just a `don’t butt into my business´ free pass for me.” The blond casually said with the confidence of someone that will naturally win the bet. “What will you have us do if you win?” He asked with amusement, though the swordsman didn’t answer for a while, considering, but he really didn’t need or want anything from them. “Why don’t you have us exchanging outfits or something?” The blond finally offered after getting bored of waiting, obviously not thinking that would ever happen. Or maybe he didn’t care if it did. “It’s fun, harmless, and no one gets in your way.”

“Okay.” Mihawk finally nodded, not really concerning himself with such matters. “That, and you two behave for the rest of the mission. No fighting, and definitely not sinking the ship.”

Doflamingo snorted, but both he and Crocodile accepted the terms and, with everything ready, they started a new game. It wasn’t long before, just a few hands in, when they realized that maybe winning against Mihawk wouldn’t be that easy.

The swordsman always observed his surroundings carefully, so even not knowing the rules, just watching the other two playing earlier had let him learn their tells. Subtle as they were, they were still there. The most subtle twitch of Doflamingo’s fingers, the shortest inhale of smoke from Crocodile’s cigar, Mihawk was aware of all of it.

The yellow-eyed man still lost some hands, not always having good cards, but it still didn’t matter in the end, as he won. Crocodile and Doflamingo hadn’t stood a chance against the swordsman once he had learnt how to play.

“Well, that was disappointing.” The blond said to the air with the smallest pout while the sand man downed his drink and stood up. “I really wanted to have Croco all to myself.”

“You just had to run your mouth, didn’t you?” The older man growled, putting out his cigar before lighting another one almost immediately. “Hawk Eyes would probably have settled with just telling us to behave, but you had to be an overconfident idiot.”

Crocodile turned around and started walking towards the door, being almost immediately followed by the blond. It wasn’t a strange sight, as as far as Mihawk could remember, Doflamingo had always been after the other man, but the atmosphere felt different. The older man was annoyed, but not irritated or angry, and it didn’t seem like he harbored any actual hard feelings against the blond as they disappeared behind the door.

Less than fifteen minutes later, the two Warlords were back to the mess hall, their outfits exchanged just as promised. It was a ridiculous sight and Mihawk was starting to regret agreeing with that stupid bet.

Crocodile looked like a kid wearing his parents' clothes, all of them too big for him. His shirt was too loose, showing his chest and stomach, and the pants too long, even if they didn't reach Doflamingo's ankles. The sand man was also struggling with the shoes, trying to keep them, and it was better not to talk about all those pink feathers covering the man.

Yet, looking at Doflamingo was worse. The pants were unbuttoned, and he looked like he was wearing shorts. The sleeves of the shirt didn't even reach his elbows, and both shirt and pants were ripped everywhere. At least the cravat around his neck wasn't choking him, and he hadn't even bothered with the shoes.

None of them were embarrassed, but Crocodile was very obviously irritated by the current state of his clothes. Mihawk hoped the sand man had spare clothes, though he really didn't care as long as they didn't bother the swordsman later. He hadn't demanded for them to exchange outfits immediately, after all, so it wasn't his fault at all.

“I'm surprised you didn't give Crocodile your glasses too.” Hawk Eyes commented thoughtlessly looking at the taller man. “You seem weirdly excited about this.”

The blond's smile froze from a fragment of a second, but Mihawk noticed, though he didn't comment on it. Thinking about it now, he hadn't seen Doflamingo without the glasses even once. But before the younger man could say anything, Crocodile intervened first.

“I'm not wearing those ridiculous things.” The man spat, but the look in his eyes directed at the blond softened for a short moment. “I’ll make anyone who tries to make me wear them swallow them whole.”

It was then that the swordsman understood a little better the odd relationship between those two. They had something deep, an understanding, and it was very obviously not a one-sided thing.

Mihawk wondered how long that had been going, but didn't ask or say anything about it. It was not his business, and he really didn't care further than a spark of curiosity. After all, it was rare for something to escape his eyes.

“Go back to your own clothes now.” The swordsman said dryly. “I will already be having nightmares with this.”

Mihawk didn't have to say it twice, Crocodile wanting to end this absurd situation as soon as possible. The two Warlords left the mess hall, and if the swordsman noticed that this time the other two took longer to come back and the faint stitching marks on Crocodile's clothes, he didn't say anything.

Notes:

So this is it! I hope you like this fanfic of mine owo

As always, kudos and comments are appreciated <3

That said, I hope you have a good day! ^w^

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