Chapter Text
“Jingyi… sweetheart come out, please.” Yang Hao sat on the ground next to the door of his son's room. He was worried about him. Lately, he is not leaving his room, only to school but now even going to school was hard for him.
A silent creak of the opening of the door made Yang Hao look into that direction, and saw his 6 years old son appearing. Jingyi was wearing his usual, light blue pair of pyjamas set with rabbits. Without a word, he crawled into his dad’s arms, nuzzling his face in his neck.
“When will daddy wake up?” He asked softly, as Yang Hao cradled him closer into his chest.
“I don’t know, baby” Yang Hao apologized, and stroked his head. “But he will, I am sure of that.”
Well, at this point of his life Yang Hao could not have been sure of anything… The car accident in which his husband got into was a breaking point for their family. Especially their son. Jingyi was devastated, when Yang Hao needed to explain that his dad won't be home for some time. He was still trying to get it into his head, so what would his baby do? Every small cry that Hao heard every night was heartbreaking.
He himself could not believe all of this… When he heard from his colleagues, other nurses, that his own husband, the most professional doctor Lan Xichen was badly hurt in an accident, he thought it was just a nightmare.
How would it even happen?
Police said that the brakes in their car didn't work when he wanted to stop the car. In the end he ended up hitting the tree. Their car was checked up earlier that day, so why did it even go unnoticed by the mechanic? It was impossible…
He sighed deeply, and let his son snuggle more into his chest. The last thing that parents want to hear is their kid's crying. Their child's sobbing, and muffled voice that only melts into the material of their hoodie.
“Jingyi, baby listen to me, okay?” He whispered, and wiped away wet, warm tears from the small chubby cheeks of the little boy. “Daddy will be back, I will make sure of it. He would never leave us, especially his little baby bunny like you.”
He wished that Jingyi would believe him…
Because deep inside, he didn't even believe in his own words.
Getting Jingyi to have a bath, and go to sleep was hard these days. All he wanted was to go to daddy, to the Hospital and sit by his side. But he could not let him do that. He knew how broken his son was, while leaving the room where Xichen lay. Seeing him in a coma wasn't an ideal view for him.
Yang Hao leaned onto the wall, next to the door of his and Lan Xichen's bedroom. He could not even dare to get inside. Sleeping without his husband didn't feel right.
Being alone here didn't feel right.
When he listened, and made sure that Jingyi dozed off… his own eyes watered. He was trying so hard, to not bawl into tears in front of Jingyi, but now? At this moment he felt overwhelmed by his emotions. His tears were streaming down, not minding his efforts to stop them.
How did they end up in this situation?
***
“Love, remember to go to the mechanic, alright? The car was off lately.” Hao said softly, while packing lunch into his own lunch box, while Xichen was teasing their son, by acting like he was eating his pancake. Jingyi was all annoyed, puffing his cheeks.
“Alright, babe” Xichen hummed and finally let Jingyi eat peacefully, stood up and went to his husband from behind. “Another long round in the hospital today?” He murmured, sneaking into Hao's bare side of neck, and left a kiss there.
“Mn, yeah… But at least I am doing what I love, right?” He hummed, beginning to pack food for Xichen too. Jingyi rolled his eyes, seeing his parents going lovey dovey again.
“Daddy, don't kiss baba! Baba is mine.” Jingyi huffed more. Sometimes, he was a little jealous. But it was adorable, in Hao's eyes. Yang Hao giggled, when Lan Xichen sighed deeply.
“How did it happen, when the one I should worry about is my son, not any other male?” He asked himself.
“He is five, one day he will be throwing a tantrum over something else. Let him be.” Yang Hao stroked his husband's jaw in response “He is all grown up, already… I think I will miss it.”
His mind flooded with memories of how they adopted Jingyi. One day, when he was born in their hospital, his parents had left him. Just like that. Yang Hao didn’t judge them, but his heart throbbed and hurt seeing that small little newborn all alone. Lan Xichen noticed that, and came up with the idea of trying to adopt him. Even if the whole procedure was hard, long and filled with many moments when they were ready that it wouldn’t succeed… Jingyi became their son. And Yang Hao, fell in love with this little one instantly. He couldn’t help it. Their son was, and still is, the most adorable baby he had ever seen.
The rest of the morning went with their usual routine — Xichen was preparing for his shift, and going to the mechanic before that, as always when something came up, and Yang Hao was helping Jingyi to prepare for school.
Everything seemed fine, and just like usual. Peaceful even.
But Yang Hao couldn’t help but feel weird, as if something was going to happen.
He brought Jingyi to the school, and kissed his forehead as usual before heading to work. As every day, he met up with Wei Wuxian, their new intern in their paediatric wing, changed his clothes and started his shift like normal. He smiled, and talked with his patients, which was really heart-warming, even if they were here because of some sicknesses. Children were like sunshine in that place. Listening to their small, innocent talks was relaxing, even if his whole work as a nurse was more stressful than any other.
It was normal, nothing odd.
Well, until Lan Xichen’s time to enter shift didn’t come. And went. His husband didn’t arrive. His gut was weird, when he realized that. He could just gulped with the tight throat, looking at the clock and the door.
Something was not right…
“Yang Hao, Lan Xichen got into a car accident, they drove him in!” He heard Wei Wuxian’s panicked voice. The whole world stilled. Hao’s hands began shaking, for the first time in his nursing career. His vision blurred, and he barely could remember anything.
Just the coldness of the hospital floor, and his tears’ taste on his tongue. Wei Wuxian’s words didn’t reach him, his whole world collapsed in that one moment. Their whole marriage, life went in front of his eyes, as his heart began hurting really badly. Air was like an acid in his body, breaths were shallow, if they even were there. He didn’t remember.
When he finally regained consciousness, he saw Wei Wuxian sitting in front of him. With a small water bottle in his hand and some tissues. He even caught sight of his husband’s younger brother, Lan Wangji with his usual emotionless face. Or so he thought, he could not even recognize where he was or what happened to him, At that moment.
“Yang Hao…” Wei Wuxian stroked his shoulder soothingly. “Here, drink it.” He just said, as if thinking about what to say next to Hao. Hao was scared of what could come next from his mouth.
Xichen…
“Is he…” He gulped, drinking slowly.
“They are still operating him. Lan Zhan left his lab, and went to talk with doctors. You were in a bad emotional state…” Wei Wuxian sighed, looking into his grey eyes. It was probably the first time he saw Yang Hao in that state.
“He… What will I tell Jingyi?” He whispered, to himself still totally mentally ruined. Yes, he was destroyed, his husband… He doesn’t know if he will make it but their son… What will he tell him? His hands were shivering, when Wei Wuxian held them.
“It will be alright, I know it.”
***
Even though Yang Hao knew Wei Wuxian wanted the best, but he couldn’t believe his reassuring words. Because how could he do that? After the operation, Xichen stayed in a coma, and waiting for him to wake up was agonizing. Especially for their son, who slowly lost hope for his father to come back home. Going to work was even worse, since his husband was there. Unconscious, in hospital bed, when he should be with them at home, or at work teasing his own brother or going around just to bump into Yang Hao.
When he reached the changing room, he wanted to cry. Everything, especially this hospital, made him break down. Walking through his halls, knowing he can’t talk or kiss his husband was exhausting. He hated life, his work place, even himself. Maybe if he knew, nothing would happen? Why this happened?
He let out a shaking breath, and began putting on his scrubs, he didn’t feel like himself.
He was so busy, and lost in his mind that he didn’t notice someone come inside.
“Yang Hao” Stern's voice cut through the air, and Yang Hao finally turned to the person. Lan Qiren was standing at the door. “Is everything okay?”
Okay?
Him?
No, his husband is in a coma, he is on the verge of collapsing completely and their son is sobbing every night to sleep. No, nothing is okay.
But he couldn’t tell him that. He got used to being strong, to not let himself lose hope all his life. He should be strong, if not for himself, then for his son, and the last string of hope is that his husband will wake up and everything will be fine.
“I… Yes” He said quickly, trying to smile, but probably too weak to be convincing to uncle. “I am okay, Uncle…” He stated. Qiren raised an eyebrow at his words, as if not believing in them.
“No, you are not, Yang Hao.” He sighed, and approached him, putting hand on his shoulder. “Listen, if you need some days off, I can give you them. Don’t think I didn’t notice, how you became a ghost of yourself.”
Yang Hao tensed under his touch. He didn’t get used to that. His father was frugal in showing love or reassurance, so his husband’s uncle and the head of their hospital were off.
“I will be okay, Uncle. I need to do something, otherwise I will completely go crazy.” He muttered almost to himself.
“Fine, but remember… If you need, talk to me.”
Yang Hao nodded. When he left, Hao crouched down and put his face in his hands.
It was exhausting.