Work Text:
…
Lily M is in love with Oh Haewon.
She isn’t exactly sure when it all started. It kind of grew over time – excruciatingly slowly over the past 8 years of her life. Besides this, Lily Jin Park Morrow has not been subtle about it. Constantly flirting with the girl group’s leader, being more clingy with her even though the eldest is the touch averse type, constantly mentioning Haewon’s beauty on her bubble messages to NSWERs.
Even so, even after all of that, Lily is sure that the leader hasn’t gotten the message. Haewon isn’t reading into the older girl’s actions enough.
They’re at the JYP building doing recording sessions for their upcoming release. The recording studio is cold, and Lily – being the helpful saint she is – gave Haewon her jacket. Isn’t that so romantic? Why doesn’t Haewon get it?
Haewon comes out of the small recording studio looking even more tired than she did when she first came in with Lily. The blonde offers her a small smile. “Hey, did the recording session go well?”
Lily watches as Haewon gives her a small nod and reaches out to the older girl while completely avoiding eye contact. Lily accepts Haewon’s hand and chuckles. “You ready to record the interview?” Haewon gives another small, tired nod. Lily’s expression melts into something stuck between concern and adoration. She looks so comfy and sleepy in Lily’s soft, oversized hoodie. So much so that Lily’s thoughts of getting the hoodie back after Haewon’s recording session due to how cold she was starting to get leave her mind completely.
Lily sits to the side as a staff member walks in and starts to ask questions. Haewon lets out a small yawn in the middle of being asked the first question, and Lily fails to stifle a huff of laughter. Haewon smiles sleepily at the older girl and oh gosh–
That soft putty smile mixed with Haewon’s amused gaze nearly melts Lily. She can feel her face getting dangerously warm.
“Hey, NSWERs,” the leader starts speaking again, her eyes lingering on Lily for a moment before returning to the camera. “Lily unnie is in the room with me right now.”
Haewon waves Lily over and the older gets up and steps into frame. She waves awkwardly to the camera, knowing her face is too high up to be seen. “Hi, NSWERs!” Lily starts. Then…an idea occurs to her.
“I’m here to support my loving wife,” she says with a joking tone, letting the last word hold for a second longer to accentuate the fact that she is joking to Haewon. Her hands are awkwardly stationed to be half-pointing, half-motioning towards Haewon in case somehow the NSWERs had no idea who she was talking about. What an idiot.
The leader blinks for a second in surprise before smiling again and going along with Lily’s antics. “Yes, yes, my wife is here,” Haewon says way too softly to be totally joking. Then again, she is a really good actor. Yeah! That makes sense.
That still doesn’t address the fact that Lily is literally forcing the romantic HaeLy agenda on camera and Haewon is completely chill with it. Maybe the leader really doesn’t care about all of Lily’s blatant flirting. If that were the case, though, then why does Haewon act so strange when Lily does other, friend things like holding hands or sitting next to her?
…
Oh Haewon is in love with Lily M.
Haewon buries her fingers in Lily’s soft, blonde hair. The two are relaxing after a long day of recording vocals for their new comeback. It’s around 11pm and they’ve just gotten back to the dorms. Haewon buries her face in the crook of Lily’s neck as she curls up against the older girl in bed. Her nose brushes up against Lily’s throat.
“Haewonie,” Lily mumbles groggily, her voice breaking from overuse and exhaustion. “You’re so cute.”
Haewon’s face flushes and she grips Lily’s shirt tight with her free hand. The older idol continues. “You’re my favorite person. I’m so happy we’re best friends…”
The dark-haired girl tenses up slightly before quickly forcing herself to relax. Best friends… “Me too,” Haewon mumbles in response, her breath gently fanning Lily’s neck.
“So pretty,” Lily presses her lips to Haewon’s ruffled, dark hair. “Even when you have no makeup, even when you’re just being yourself, even when you’re forcing it. Pretty.”
Haewon nestles herself more comfortably against Lily’s shoulder, the hand stuffed in the older’s hair now trailing down to cup the nape of her neck. Her mind races, wishing – yearning – to be closer to Lily; whether it be physical or emotional. To compensate for her unwillingness to think any deeper on the matter, she presses herself somehow closer to Lily, the two girls tangled up in a mess of aching, tired limbs underneath the comforter.
Haewon wants to kiss Lily. Really badly.
Her chest aches for it. Her brain buzzes for it. One could say she’s experiencing a high from yearning to kiss Lily, and Haewon would agree that that’s the case. So, why can’t she just do it? It’s a simple movement of her body; a tilt of her head, really. So easily, Haewon could press her lips against Lily’s and the ache would go away.
Every time Lily showers the leader with words of affection, Haewon feels strangely compelled to deliver the same affection in a more physical way. She knows the older girl is more touch averse than Haewon; she knows it’s bad to want to kiss your best friend. Never date your ideal type, right?
But, even so, Haewon wants to. She knows for certain it’s bad, though, because the leader is never allowed to get what she wants. She can’t act normal around Lily. She can’t be with Lily. She can’t kiss Lily. It’s so silly and childish – even as Lily mumbles soft, sleepy praises into the younger girl’s ears, Haewon is stuck thinking about her pathetic unrequited love when she should be relishing in this special moment while she still can. After all, how often is it that she’ll get to cuddle with Lily like this? Because obviously this is only happening due to how tired the two are.
Lily’s arm beneath Haewon tightens on her waist, pulling her even closer, like this is all something intentional and not, in fact, a testament to the older’s exhaustion – but that couldn’t be the case. Lily hates physical touch. She hates physical touch so much, even as the older girl buries her face into the softness of Haewon’s hair and rubs the fingertip of her index just barely under Haewon’s shirt to feel the smallest sliver of skin that connects the two a little closer than being just best friends.
Haewon doesn’t like reading too deep into Lily’s actions. She’s done it so many times before, and whenever the leader gets enough confidence to make a move, Lily just smiles innocently and responds like the younger girl isn’t flirting with her best friend of 8 years. Now, the leader only half-reads into what Lily’s doing. If it’s friendly? They’re just friends. If it’s flirting? They’re still just friends.
Lily’s hand slips halfway underneath the soft cotton of Haewon’s shirt, her fingers reaching over to gently rub at the younger’s waist. Haewon melts into the touch, hearing a symphony of romantic appreciation echo into her ears and stop before it can reach her mouth. Calm down, Oh Haewon. Lily is your best friend. Instead of letting the symphony take over her voice and ruin her life forever, Haewon leans into the touch, arching her back slightly so her hip presses more comfortably against Lily’s hand.
It used to feel so wrong to take advantage of Lily’s affection like this, but Haewon learned to stop thinking of this as ‘taking advantage of’ something. Lily is offering her friend and leader totally platonic affection and Haewon is simply accepting it. She isn’t doing anything wrong, even when Lily thinks of the two as best friends and Haewon thinks of the two as a moth to a flame. (Haewon is the moth because she always gravitates towards bright, brilliant, passionate Lily. It’s her second nature.)
Whatever. Haewon shakes those thoughts from her head, still trying to focus on the feel of Lily’s warm hands on the cold skin of her back, wait– her hands are on Haewon’s back? This is…different. Not unwelcome, but concerningly different.
“Lily?” Haewon finally speaks up, cringing at the exhaustion in her own voice. She’s sure the croakiness in her voice equally matches Lily’s, but the blaringly loud part of Haewon’s mind pushes the idea that hers is way worse.
“Hm?” The older girl hums, sending soft vibrations against the top of Haewon’s head. Right. She nearly forgot about the physically tight position they’re in right now.
“You’re not usually this clingy,” Haewon mumbles in what she hopes is a teasing tone. She even makes sure to quirk one corner of her lips upwards as she looks up at the older girl in her arms. To the leader’s surprise, Lily’s cheeks flush slightly. Or maybe they were always like that. Is it hot in here? Haewon doesn’t feel particularly warm, even with the older girl's hoodie on.
“I was cold,” Lily mumbles, squeezing the younger girl a little tighter. Well, now Haewon’s theory makes completely no sense. Is it hot or cold? Haewon thinks the temperature in their room is completely fine. The lyrics to that one Katy Perry song Lily loves singing plays in her head, now overshadowing Haewon’s symphony of unsaid praises to the older girl. You’re hot, then you're cold, you’re yes, then you’re no. Gosh, Lily, what do you want from me??
It just isn’t fair. Maybe it’s childish, maybe it’s stupid, but why does Lily get to compliment Haewon like the leader has to fly out to live abroad for fifty years while Haewon can’t say a single thing? Stupid crushes.
With a soft, barely audible sigh, the dark-haired idol presses her palm a little harder against Lily’s neck. She can feel Lily’s gulp travel down her throat from the leader’s nose that’s still buried there.
“Are you thirsty?” Haewon murmurs. There’s silence for a moment. Then, Lily sighs.
“Haewon, you’re kind of stupid.”
Haewon blinks in surprise. She was just being praised into another plane of existence, and now she’s kind of stupid?
“What?” The leader frowns in genuine hurt.
“I mean, not like that!” Lily reassures her, but Haewon has no idea what the older girl is talking about. She decides to just listen and take whatever Lily says at face value, because – again – thinking too hard about what Lily says will just drive the leader crazy.
“I’ve been talking about how pretty you are and I’ve been, like– praising your voice for the past half-hour before we got back to the dorms,” she whines – very unhelpfully because Haewon already knows that this is the case.
“Yeah?” Haewon looks up at the older girl in hazy confusion. Her fingers on the nape of Lily’s neck are trembling uncontrollably. The movement is so subtle, but Lily catches it and places one of her hands over Haewon’s on the back of her neck.
“Haewonie…,” Lily murmurs, her other hand still buried under the leader’s shirt. The blonde’s gaze softens into something almost sad or apologetic, but Haewon is unsure why that would be the case.
“I’m flirting with you.”
Haewon stops breathing for a moment. Then, with a hesitant mumble, she responds. “Fanservice…?”
Lily blinks in genuine surprise. “Wh– no, why would I–?” She sighs, holding Haewon a little closer. The leader’s face is now buried in the crook of Lily’s neck again – not that she minds, but she’s still extremely confused.
“You’re flirting with me,” Haewon says more stiffly into Lily’s shoulder. The only response she gets is a soft ‘mhm’ and Lily squeezing the girl a little bit. Haewon can feel Lily’s hand trembling underneath her shirt and over her hand.
“Lily…,” Haewon takes her hand off the back of Lily’s neck and interlocks their fingers. The leader slowly brings the older’s hand to her waist, and Lily wraps both her arms around Haewon a little tighter, making sure the girl is completely up against her.
“Is this okay?” Haewon’s voice vibrates against Lily’s throat. The older nods. The leader can feel another gulp press up against her nose.
Haewon presses a kiss to the side of Lily’s neck. She pulls back just enough to examine the older’s throat. Her thumb gently glides against the smooth skin of Lily’s neck, admiring the length of the area she has to work with. She presses another small kiss, this time to Lily’s throat. Haewon can hear Lily’s breathing just barely stutter with each new movement.
The younger girl buries her face into Lily’s shoulder again, making sure her hands trail down just enough to slip underneath the older’s shirt. This is getting dangerously intimate, but neither are backing away; in fact, Lily moves her hands up a little beneath Haewon’s shirt.
“Should we talk first…?” Lily mumbles, interrupting the heated moment. The leader thinks for a moment. They really should. Like, really really should, but Haewon is so close to Lily right now. She doesn’t want to. Maybe Haewon doesn’t want to break the moment, maybe she’s scared that Lily will take everything back when either of them say anything real.
Haewon’s lips brush against Lily’s neck. “Don’t want to…,” she mumbles, “is that okay?”
“Yeah,” Lily breathes out so quietly that if they weren’t so close, Haewon would’ve missed it.
“Tell me if it’s too much,” Haewon says one last time before pressing her lips against the sliver of Lily’s bare shoulder just barely peeking out from beneath her shirt.
…
Lily M is in love with Oh Haewon.
Even as Haewon murmurs that she isn’t interested in talking about their feelings before pressing soft, damp kisses to the older girl’s neck, Lily is in love with Haewon. An anxious gurgling sound escapes Lily’s throat and her face immediately flushes a deeper red than before.
“S– sorry,” she mumbles softly before Haewon cuts her off with a kiss – this time to the underside of her jaw. Lily keeps her hands buried under Haewon’s shirt, gently mapping out the contours of the leader’s faint muscles. She can feel the dip in Haewon’s back and the rounding of back muscles building upwards. Lily wonders, if she looked at Haewon’s back right now, if the leader’s muscles would be visible or if she would only see the smooth, curved frame of Haewon’s body.
Lily shivers as she feels the younger’s hand trail down the middle of her back. Haewon lets out a soft chuckle, and Lily tears up a little from the overwhelming amount of sensations she’s experiencing right now. She wants to cuddle with Haewon, she wants to talk to Haewon about their feelings; but she also wants Haewon to kiss her senseless.
The older girl feels herself grow tense at the next kiss. No, she doesn’t want this. Not right now.
Haewon seems to notice, pausing her movements when Lily lets out the quietest shaky exhale. “It’s okay if I need to stop,” she murmurs into the crook of Lily’s neck before returning her forehead to the older girl’s shoulder.
“Yeah,” Lily mumbles awkwardly, “sorry…”
Another one of Haewon’s adorable, exhausted smiles play on the leader’s lips. Lily wants to kiss her – she really does – but her heart is beating so fast and it felt like she was about to suffocate from the tension earlier with each soft, barely-there kiss pressed onto skin.
“No, it’s okay,” Haewon nuzzles against Lily’s shoulder.
Lily brings her hands back down to Haewon’s hips, holding her flush against the older girl. “Should we go to sleep?”
Haewon pouts, burying her face back into Lily’s shirt. “No…let’s stay awake a little bit longer. Please?”
Lily lets out a soft huff of laughter, squeezing Haewon’s waist slightly.
“Okay.”
…
Oh Haewon is in love with Lily M.
She nestles one hand beneath Lily’s shirt. The blonde shivers under her touch. “Are my hands still cold?” Haewon murmurs.
“A little…,” Lily admits softly, “but I don’t mind.”
The leader slips one leg between Lily’s and the older girl chuckles. “Someone’s getting bold…”
Haewon lets out a soft huff in amusement. Truthfully, she’s absolutely smitten for this adorable unnie of hers right now. Knowing that Lily was flirting with her made all of their past interactions way less confusing, and all the more meaningful. All the times Lily showered her with praises or touched her a little more than usual really meant something, and Haewon simply had no idea. The mere thought of it sends Haewon’s heart rate skyrocketing. Lily smirks, seemingly noticing the way Haewon’s shoulders tense as the younger recalls all the times Lily has been, with her newfound knowledge, intentionally flirty.
“Are you thinking about something?”
The leader bites down on her bottom lip before responding. “You really meant it? All those times…that you were flirting.”
Lily’s expression melts at Haewon’s visible uncertainty. “It kind of depends…I’m not sure when it started becoming intentional, but yeah. I meant it.”
“All this time,” Haewon gruffly murmurs, her cheeks growing just as red as Lily’s, “and I had no idea…”
Lily lets out a more energetic laugh at that. “It’s okay! I’m just glad you’re fine with it.”
Haewon huffs in amusement, tugging at the hem of Lily’s shirt with her free hand.
“I’m more than just fine with it, you know.”
She mumbles against the older girl’s throat again, getting back into the same comfortable position as before.
“I stopped reading into it, but I still liked it when you flirted with me.”
Haewon smiles sleepily as she feels Lily’s grin on her waist tighten. Her breathing is slowly starting to even out, and it’s getting more difficult for the leader to keep her eyes open as she relishes in the feeling of Lily’s warmth.
“Good. Because I really like flirting with you.”
…
Lily M is in love with Oh Haewon.
Lily gently brushes a few loose strands of hair away from the sleeping girl’s forehead. Letting out a slow exhale, the older girl buries her face into Haewon’s hair and presses two small kisses to the top of her head, both filled with hazy, sleepy affection.
“Goodnight, Haewonie," she whispers, voicing the thoughts so deeply engraved into the past 8 years of their existence. "I love you.”