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Tony was sitting in his workshop, faceplate in his hands with a thousand-yard stare while the bots beeped up at him, concerned.
Being furious was something Tony’s been before but this was something more akin to the type of anger that leaves you silent. Where you’ve stopped shaking and the tremors in your hands are gone. The kind of fury that leaves you chilled down to the bone.
This was the type of rage that Tony reserved for times when he was alone because he knew that given the slightest amount of prodding everything would unravel. And not in an explosion all-at-once, but more like the way it does when you pull on a thread and it all comes out in a monotone, lower-octave with your voice steady and eyes blazing.
Tony wasn’t stupid. At least he didn’t think so. But considering everything he may as well be. He should have just stuck with his fears in the beginning.
Bucky and Tony had hit it off from day one. He’d made it past the Winter Soldier killing his parents and had opened his home to James Barnes. That man, the person James was, was someone that Tony immediately clicked with. He gave as good as he got and didn’t pull any punches. He didn’t treat Tony like he would break at a moment’s notice and wasn’t afraid to call on his bullshit, either.
At first he would come down for maintenance on his arm, chattering away a million miles a minute, all charm and harmless flirting. But then it had turned into something more. Bucky would find any excuse to get in close to Tony. From movie night to seats on the Quinjet Bucky was always there.
Before long Tony realized that Bucky had wormed his way into his life and stayed there.
Their first kiss had been after a particularly rough battle. Tony had taken a risk, played it a little too close to the chest, and when all was said and done Bucky had laid into him. By the time it was over and Tony had stepped out of the last bit of armor Bucky just grabbed his face and given him the roughest, most desperate kiss of his life.
They’d been together since.
It never truly escaped Tony, though. The insecurity that Bucky and Steve might have had a thing once and would, maybe, have one in the future. He was constantly worried about waking up to find that he had just been a stand-in.
Maybe he was right.
He’d seen them, on more than one occasion, sitting close to one another. Tony had seen Steve’s hand linger on Bucky’s back and watched as Steve sent Bucky meaningful looks. There would never be a day in which Tony would surpass Bucky’s boundaries and read his text messages but he does know that there has been many occasions in which Steve’s texted and Bucky’s immediately left.
Tony didn’t know what he was doing wrong.
It felt like Pepper all over again where the people he was with just up and realized what a mess Tony was and got the hell out of Dodge before they got in too deep. He barely handled Pepper leaving, he doesn’t know if he can handle Bucky, too.
So, he is angry. It’s a little bit at Bucky but mostly at himself for not being good enough to keep someone he loves.
Bucky comes in then and Tony decides to just say it before he loses his willpower, “Was it all a lie?”
“What?” Bucky asks, slowing down to look at Tony. “What do you mean?”
“You and Steve.” Tony snorts and puts down his things to rub his eyes. “Has this thing between us just been one big lie?”
“Tony, God.” Bucky is there suddenly, kneeling, grabbing Tony’s hands to hold them in his own.
He’s so close to crying that he has to focus on what he needs to say next, “You’re pulling away from me. I don’t know what I did.”
“You didn’t do anything, Tony. Jesus,” Bucky curses under his breath, “it’s me, Tony. Not you.”
Oh, well, he’s heard that before.
Tony pulls his hands out of Bucky’s and laughs, hollow, “That’s not the first time I’ve heard that.”
“Tony, for chissakes, just listen to me.” Bucky makes for another grab at Tony’s hands and when he fails he just rests them on Tony’s thighs. “I’m not leaving you.”
Tony’s brow furrows and he shakes his head, “But you two-“
“Steve has been working with me to plan our wedding.” Bucky blurts and then curses rather colorfully.
Tony’s brain shorts, “What?”
Bucky curses again and brings out something from his jacket pocket, “I’ve been waiting for the right moment to ask you. I wanted everything to be perfect. I didn’t realize that’s how it looked, Tony, please believe me. I’m not leaving you.”
“I’m such an idiot.” Tony deflates, feeling stupid and insecure. He shouldn’t have doubted Bucky at all. “I’m so sorry, Bucky. I’m just…I thought…”
“Hey,” Bucky says, soft, “its ok, Tony. I get how it could have looked that way. But you know, I told you, that Steve and I never had anything. He’s my brother. And he’ll be my best man if you say yes.”
Tony looks down to see a small, dainty ring cushioned in velvet. It’s made of tight, interlocking Celtic knots and looks just on the good side of showy without being overtly ornate. It’s perfect and Tony feels like he’s going to cry.
“I love it.”
Bucky chuckles, albeit nervously, and says, “Is that a yes? Because I’m kind of in limbo here.”
“Yes.” Tony laughs and puts his hands on either side of Bucky’s face. “God, I’m so stupid. But, yes.”
Tony leans down then to kiss Bucky and laughs, scolding himself for ever thinking that Bucky could do him harm.
Bucky pulls back enough to say, “I love you, Tony. Nothing will ever keep me from you.”