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His chest hurts.
His heart is thumping wildly. He can't stop trembling. Isagi looks down to his palm, grasping it with his other hand, but the shaking never eased. His lungs felt trapped, unable to find breathable air. He can't see anything outside of his immediate surroundings. His heartbeat is getting louder now. It hits his ribcage. He clutches his left chest, right over his heart. Maybe his hand can contain the crushing beat before it bursts out of him. Or maybe he can dig into his chest deeper to take it out himself before his own heart can explode inside him.
He's terrified.
Isagi' is afraid of failing. Scared by the pressure dragging his feet at every kick. He's frightened by how important he has become. All other synonyms for fear couldn't describe why he can't breathe. He's all alone in his room, surrounded by trophies and residue from the tape that used to hang Noel Noa posters. Everyone relies on him, but he can't rely on anyone else. He's the one that changes people. His teammates play with their own ego because of his seemingly altruistic—maybe infectious—aura. The crowd cheers for the underdogs who went through torture disguised as training. Ego reconsidered letting Blue Lock fail because of investor pressures from the JFA. Even Isagi himself killed the thought of being human on the field, only viewing himself exactly like his rivals. A pawn.
It's so lonely at the top.
"Yoichi?" You muttered. His eyes frantically looked at yours, almost like they were trying to find a clutch to rest on. Isagi's heartbeat quieted, no longer pounding his ribs. "You okay?"
Isagi gulps. His mouth is dry now. "Yeah..." He stutters. You take his hands, gently prying them away from his chest. His fingers grasped onto yours, slightly sweaty from his attempt to cope with an ever increasing sense of dread.
You nodded in understanding, not exactly convinced that he's feeling alright. "You were gripping your chest pretty tightly there."
"Was I?"
"Yeah."
"Oh."
You let out a small smile, seeing his hands begin to even out after trembling. "You shouldn't hold it so tightly, you know?" You chuckled, running a thumb along the back of his hand. His hands are tightened around yours, like he was afraid of you disappearing. "Wouldn't want the love of my life to die with his heart in his hands. Well, I mean, I guess it's romantic to some."
Isagi's eyes widened, a familiar warmth on his cheeks as he couldn't help but let out a chuckle. "Yeah, that is gruesome." One of his hands withdrew, a finger scratching his cheeks as he felt sheepish by the thought of it.
"You stopped shaking." You smiled. He took a moment to process your words, slowly going through his whole body to see if there's any organ waiting to rupture internally.
There was none.
His hands laid unmoving. His lungs filled and depleted clean air. The pain in his chest subsided. His heart beat evenly. One, two... One, two.
"Yeah... I'm..." He cleared his throat. "I'm alright now." His smile comes out a bit strained, but much better than when he was struggling to stay alive.
"Good." You adjusted yourself to sit next to him, leaning back on the wall too. Isagi opts to stay curled up in himself. "You want to talk about it?"
He shakes his head. "No. Not right now."
"Okay."
The silence dragged on, but he liked it. He can hear your breathing pattern, which is different from his. If he listens closely, he can hear your heart beating in tandem with his. Or is it his heart that's pulsing alongside yours? He can feel how warm you are when you're next to him. How much you can see from your current vision. Your natural scent mixed with a pleasant aroma from some products you're using. He kept his gaze on the floor, thumbs twiddling, but not out of anxiety.
"Do you..." He stammered, but that wasn't quite how he wanted to start. "Would you..." Not that either.
Your eyes laid on the side of his face, letting him sort out his thoughts first before replying.
"Will you stay by my side...?" Isagi mumbled. You could barely hear him, but his words always reached you. "No... that's not what I wanted to say..." He turned his head, deep blue eyes looking at you now. You always say how you can drown in his eyes.
"No matter what happens in the future..." His gaze trembled a bit, looking to the side for a moment of stability. "...will you still love me till the end?"
For a moment, even he was surprised by his question. He never doubted your love for him, nor did he ever felt unsure about your future with him, but something in him needed to ask you.
"Of course." You replied without hesitation. "I love you now, I loved you back then, and I'll still love you even after the end." You didn't really understand what he meant by "the end" though, but it was enough for Isagi. Your succinct words and the smile he fell in love with assured him.
"Thank you..." He whispered, a blush heavy on his cheeks now. The typical Isagi that is shy and introverted reappeared again, his egoist side that shows in soccer withdrew. He leans close to your ear, breath tickling your neck. His goals, his praises, his words were for you only.
"I love you, too."
He's not a god. He's just Isagi Yoichi.