Chapter Text
“Good evening, passengers. Boarding for Flight 273 to Amsterdam will begin shortly. May this journey give you the courage to start again.”
The voice echoed through the airport, clear and indifferent, like it didn’t understand it was announcing the moment Rome decided to disappear. “What a weird coincidence” Rome muttered under his breath.
Rome only had a bag, a suitcase full of his equipment and his dream.
He figured that was fitting.
He wasn’t bringing much of his old life with him anyway. It brought nothing but pain and he was slowly losing himself. His fingers tightened around his boarding pass, the paper slightly crumpling under the pressure of his fingertips. His name stared back at him like proof that he still existed somewhere, even if no one was looking for him.
Not his family, Not the stupid theater play group that his brother asked him to help.
Notㅡ
Raffy.
“Boarding for flight 273—” The announcement brought him back to reality.
“Yes, Yes, I heard you,” Rome whispered under his breath, finally stepping forward. Definitely trying not to look back.
Each step felt heavier than it should have.Not because he was unsure.But because leaving meant accepting something he didn’t want to say out loud.
No one was going to stop him. No one even knew he was leaving.
The city lights blurred into nothing beneath him.Rome leaned his head against the cold window, watching until there was nothing left to see. He put on his headphones, listening to one of the sets that he had made when he was still starting his career on being a DJ, something his parents are not proud of, the only ones in their eyes is Jack.
He managed to close his eyes and once again his thoughts wandered back home.
── ⟡ ˙🎧 ̟
Rome’s step-mother had sat across from him at the kitchen table, nails tapping against her coffee cup.
“Why can’t you be more like Jack?” she asked, like she had been asking it for years.
Here we go again. Rome thought and clenched his fists.
“Because I’m not Jack.” He replied
“Don’t be difficult. You have talent, yes but Jack is everything. Responsible, ambitious, disciplined and he clearly has passion for what he is doing. You could learn a thing or two from him. Maybe he can rub off on you and you realize that your silly musics won't get you anywhere”
Rome’s father nodded silently, the disappointment heavy in his eyes.
It had been years of this. Every accomplishment is overshadowed by Jack. Every failure magnified. Every attempt to do something his way was dismissed.
Rome remembered crying in his room late at night, headphones on, music blasting to drown out the voices of comparison. Nights where he just wanted to be himself without someone else’s shadow haunting him.
That shadow had followed him to the play, to rehearsals, and eventually to Raffy. He wanted to be wanted for himself, not measured against Jack’s accomplishments
── ⟡ ˙🎧 ̟
Rome opened his eyes.The cabin lights were dim now. Most passengers are asleep.
He wasn’t.
He hadn’t been, not really the memories of the place that he left kept on hunting him.
They were all too focused on Jack.
Jack, who had everything.
Jack, who unknowingly took everything from him.
So Rome chose himself for once since he is aware that at the end of the day. He will only have himself.
And he left those painful things behind in Bangkok.
The Netherlands welcomed him with cold air and unfamiliar streets.
But here no one will compare him to his perfect brother, no one knew his existence and no one definitely knew his past.
He is just Rome, a DJ that is trying his luck in a new place to pursue his dreams with music.
── ⟡ ˙🎧 ̟
It wasn’t supposed to mean anything.That was the deal. No expectations, No labels,No complications. Just purely playing around with each other when they find it convenient.
Raffy had been leaning against the wall backstage, arms crossed, watching Rome adjust the sound system.
“Are you always this serious?” Raffy asked, amused.
Rome didn’t even look at him. “Are you always this distracting?”
Raffy grinned. “Only when I want to be.”
That should’ve been the warning.
But Rome, he can't help but see himself sometimes in Raffy that he ended up staying. Being in the same school and having to be in a play together didn't help at all.
It wasn’t the nights that ruined him.
It was everything in between.
Like the time Raffy fell asleep beside him, one hand loosely gripping his shirt like he didn’t want him to leave. Rome didn’t move, didn’t even breathe too loudly.
Just stayed there, staring at the ceiling, memorizing the weight of someone choosing to stay even if it was temporary.
Or the way Raffy would complain about his mother, voice frustrated, tired.
“I can’t do anything right for her.” Rome had looked at him then, really looked.
“You don’t have to prove anything to anyone.” Raffy scoffed. “Easy for you to say.”
Rome shook his head. “No. I mean it. You’re already enough. That's just how parents are they have their expectations, or they probably see their younger self at us and wants us to achieve things they didn't manage to get”
And that’s where Rome made his mistake. He thought those moments meant something. He thought that after that Raffy managed to consider him as his friend, someone he can lean on.
It didn’t happen all at once, It built up, In glances, In silence.
In this way Raffy started mentioning Jack more often whenever it's the two of them.
Rome tried not to care, Tried to remind himself.This isn’t yours to care about. But one night he couldn’t hold it in anymore.
── ⟡ ˙🎧 ̟
The theater was empty. It was too quiet for a place that used to feel alive.
Rome stood near the soundboard, arms crossed, watching Raffy from across the stage.
“So you’re not even going to say anything?” Rome asked while looking at Raffy.
Raffy sighed, running a hand through his hair.
“There’s nothing to say.” Raffy replied, trying to distract himself with the script in his hands.
Rome let out a soft, humorless laugh.
“Right. Because disappearing every time something gets real is your thing, isn’t it?” Rome replied trying his best not to falter with his words
Raffy frowned, “Don’t start.”
Rome stepped closer.
“I saw you,” he said quietly. “With someone” he continued
Raffy kept his mouth shut and for a while silent surrounded them both.
“And?” he managed to ask out and that stung more than it should’ve.
Rome scoffed softly trying his best not to sound affected.
“And I thought maybe I deserved to hear it from you.” he replied
Raffy shook his head, frustration slipping through.
“Who I kiss is none of your business,” he said firmly. “You don't get to interfere.” Raffy continued.
That did it. Rome went still trying to find the words in his mouth.
“None of my business?” he repeated quietly.
“Don't forget,” Raffy added, voice colder now,
“We're nothing to each other.”
Silence once filled the room with a mixture of heavy feelings.
Rome really looked at him this time. Like he was trying to memorize something before letting it go.
“Nothing?” Rome managed to ask
Raffy didn’t answer
“I’m your friend, at least I thought I am,” Rome replied.
The words came out softer than he intended. Almost like a last attempt.
Raffy hesitated. Just for a fracture of a second.
Then
“ It's nothing but sex, Rome.” he said looking anywhere but Rome.
And that was it. Something in Rome shifted.
Not loud, Not dramatic, Just a realization within him. He nodded slowly.
“Got it.” Rome replied and then looked at Raffy who was avoiding eye contact with him.
“I gave you a space in my life” Rome started.
His voice didn’t shake.
But his eyes did.
“but you never made space for me in yours.” Rome added.
Raffy finally looked at him, And Rome? This time his eyes, there was no softness left in them.
The words hung between them and Raffy was trying to find his words once again.
but nothing came out, because he knew
He knew it was true.
Rome let out a shaky breath, shaking his head slightly.
“I kept making room for you. In my time. In my head. In everything I thought that would at least mean something to you, to us”
His voice cracked a little but he didn’t stop.
“But for you?” he continued
“I was just something you fit in when it was convenient.”
“That’s not—” Raffy started trying to argue
But Rome cut him off. “No. Don’t fix it now.”
Silence
“You chose someone else,” Rome said quietly.
“And that’s fine, I'm used to being a second choice when it comes to my brother, it's just a little different this time” His throat tightened.
“But don’t stand there and pretend like I meant more than that to you.”
Raffy tried to get near him, finally affected, finally shaken by what might happen.
“Rome, I didn’t—” He started
“You didn’t think,” Rome finished for him.
“That’s the problem.” That landed harder than anything else.
For a moment, it looked like Raffy might reach for him.
But he didn’t and that was all the answer Rome needed.
He nodded once more to himself than to Raffy.
“You don’t even know what you want,” he added quietly.
“So don’t act like you get to define what this was for me.” he continued
Then he turned not giving Raffy a chance to speak. No hesitation and defined not looking back.
And that was Rome's final straw.
── ⟡ ˙🎧 ̟
Rehearsal resumed like nothing happened.
Like the confrontation hadn’t carved a line between them.
Jack stood at the center of the stage, voice firm, controlled.
“Again from the top.”
Dean adjusted his position together with Arnold.
Raffy nodded, having his script in his hands Everything moved forward.
Everything except Rome.
He stood behind the soundboard, headphones on, eyes fixed on the controls like they were the only thing keeping him grounded.
From behind the soundboard, he watched the way Jack’s tone softened when speaking to Dean.
The way Dean didn’t wait for instructions already knowing what Jack wanted. Like they were already in something unspoken. Rome looked away first.
“Cue,” he said flatly into the mic.
Music filled the stage. Perfect timing, perfect execution. No one praised him. Jack didn’t even look up.
Raffy saw him immediately, Of course he did.
“Rome—” he called out
Rome shifted slightly. Just enough to acknowledge the voice, then pressed a button. Music filled the stage.
“Cue,” he said flatly.
Not looking at him. Raffy frowned at his tone
“Can we talk?” Raffy asked
“We have a play to finish” Rome replied
Jack’s voice cut in from the stage.
“Raffy, focus.” Raffy hesitated before going back to his place
Rome didn’t even glance up and just kept his focus on his equipment and somehow that hurt more than the argument.
── ⟡ ˙🎧 ̟
Rome started coming earlier than everyone and left later than everyone.
Avoiding everything but not his passion for music as much as the hatred that he has for Jack he can't avoid the one thing that's kept him sane the past few days which is his love for music.
Jack can't help but approach him during a break.
“The sound was off yesterday,” Jack said started
Rome didn’t look up. “It wasn’t.” Jack frowned.
“You’re distracted.” That made Rome pause “Are you sure I'm the one that's distracted?” Rome asked calmly.
Jack studied him. “Whatever this is,” he added, glancing briefly toward Raffy across the stage.
“Don’t let it affect the production.” Rome looked up.
Eyes sharp clearly not interested in having a conversation with his step-brother.
“It won’t, I know how to separate my personal affairs with work, unlike someone else,” he said quietly.
Jack didn’t respond but for the first time he noticed that there's changes with Rome.
── ⟡ ˙🎧 ̟
Dinner was quiet, Jack's mother sat at the head of the table, posture straight, eyes focused on his beloved son.
“The investors are impressed,” she said. “This play could open doors for you.” she continued
Jack nodded. “That’s the plan.”
Rome sat across from them silent trying to avoid any family drama once again.
“And you?” she asked finally, glancing at Rome.
A pause, "I'm working on the sound design,” he replied. She hummed softly.
“That’s good, finally putting yourself into a good use” But it didn’t sound like it mattered.
Jack spoke again and just like that Rome disappeared from the conversation.
Once again scenarios at home entered Rome’s mind, He tried his best to brush it off and continued with his work.
── ⟡ ˙🎧 ̟
Raffy caught him in the hallway.
“Rome, wait.” Raffy called out
Rome stopped, his back still turned. “What?” he replied
“We need to talk.” Raffy tried to say in between his breathing
“No, we don’t.” Raffy stepped closer.
“I didn’t mean it like that—”
Rome turned so fast and replied “But you said it.”
That once again managed to shut Raffy up Rome’s gaze didn’t waver.
“And I heard you, Loud and Clear” Rome continued “So don’t fix it now just because it’s inconvenient for you.”
Raffy tried to find the words to say “It’s not—”
“Then what is it?” Rome pressed and Raffy didn't know what words to say to him.
Rome let out a quiet breath “Exactly.” Rome once again turned his back walking away, leaving Raffy alone in the hallway.
── ⟡ ˙🎧 ̟
Jack found Raffy alone backstage
“You’re off,” Jack said.
Raffy scoffed softly. “Funny. You didn’t seem to care about that before.”
Jack frowned “If this is about —”
“It’s not about you,” Raffy cut in, which is something new.
Jack studied him once more.
“You’re letting this distract you,” he said “We have a play to finish” Jack continued.
Raffy laughed quietly, “You mean your play.”
“What about you and Dean,” Raffy added.
Jack didn’t answer. “Yeah,” Raffy muttered. “That’s what I thought.” And for the first time Raffy walked away from him.
── ⟡ ˙🎧 ̟
At home if he can even call it his home.
Jack's mother stood near the doorway of Rome’s room.
“Jack is under a lot of pressure right now,” she said. “You should help him more.”
Rome didn’t look up from his laptop “I already am.”
“Then do better.” She replied, “He needs people he can rely on.” That made Rome laugh softly. “What a joke” he muttered under his breath.
── ⟡ ˙🎧 ̟
Rome stopped staying for full rehearsals at first Jack didn't mind since Rome clearly set a boundary that he doesn't want to be bossed around.
Then he stopped coming altogether.
“Where is he?” Raffy asked silently, After that night and after so many attempts of trying to reach Rome he thought, giving him space might clear his head and that Rome would seek for him again.
No one knew, even at home Rome was barely there. Jack noticed it too this time he just thought that Rome was busy with his gigs at the clubs after all he likes to stay out at night.
“Have you seen him?” he asked one night.
Raffy shook his head. “No and how am I supposed to know?”
Jack exhaled slowly. “He should’ve said something.”
Raffy looked at him. “Would you have listened?”
Jack didn’t answer and once again he tried to call Rome on his Phone. Because deep down he knew the answer.
── ⟡ ˙🎧 ̟
It was late at night Rome stood in his room.
The suitcase was open and he made sure to put his equipment inside. Clothes folded neatly on his bag. Headphones were hanging carefully on the side. He looked around once again at the space that never really felt like his.
“There’s nothing here for me anymore,” he whispered.
No goodbye, no explanation because no one would listen anyway.
Just absence
By the time anyone noticed Rome was already gone.
Jack stood in the empty sound booth. For once he had no instructions to give. No one was making sure that the equipment was functioning well.
Because now he understood. Rome hadn’t just left the play.
He left them. He left the place where he was not really seen.
and Raffy knew that he was part of it.
── ⟡ ˙🎧 ̟
It didn’t happen all at once. Raffy didn’t wake up one day and suddenly stopped liking Jack.
It was quieter than that. Slower. Almost painful in how subtle it was.
Jack stood in the center of the stage, confident, composed, directing everyone with ease. His voice carried authority, the kind that made people listen without question.
Raffy watched him like he always did.
Like he always had.
There was a time when that feeling in his chest was tight, warm, overwhelming felt like something close to love. Something real. Something worth chasing.
But now it feels different.
“Raffy, focus,” Jack called. Raffy blinked, snapping out of it. “Yeah. Sorry.”
Jack didn’t even look at him for long before moving on, already talking to Dean, already too busy, too distant.
And for the first time
Raffy noticed it, not the admiration, the distance.
Later that night, Raffy sat alone backstage, script resting loosely in his hands. The theater was quiet, empty, almost echoing.
Pete dropped beside him, nudging his shoulder lightly.
“You’re staring again,” Pete said. Raffy huffed softly. “At who?”
Pete raised an eyebrow. “You know who.”
Raffy didn’t answer. Because for the first time he wasn’t sure anymore.
“Do you actually like him?” Pete asked, softer this time. The question lingered.
Raffy swallowed. “I think I do.” Pete tilted his head. “You think?”
Raffy frowned. “I’ve liked him for a long time.”
“Yeah,” Pete said gently. “But liking someone for a long time doesn’t mean it’s still real.”
That hit harder than Raffy expected. That night, Raffy couldn’t sleep.
He stared at the ceiling, thoughts circling, restless.
Jack.
Rome.
Jack.
Rome.
The names felt different in his chest.
Jack felt distant. Familiar. Like something he had gotten used to holding onto.
But Rome
Rome felt like something alive.
Something that moved. Something that answered back. Raffy sat up abruptly, running a hand through his hair.
“What the hell is wrong with me?” he muttered.
And then Rome’s voice echoed in his memory,
“I gave you a space in my life, but you never made space for me in yours.”
Raffy’s chest tightened because it was true.
He thought about Jack again.
All those years watching him, admiring him, wanting his attention, wanting to be chosen.
But when had Jack ever really seen him?
When had Jack stayed?
When had Jack made space for him?
The answer came too easily.
He didn’t.
And suddenly, everything shifted.
The feeling Raffy had held onto for so long, it wasn’t love. It was an admiration. It was longing to be acknowledged.
It was wanting to be seen by someone who never really looked at him.
“I didn’t know how to stop,” Raffy whispered to himself. His voice cracked slightly.
Because how do you let go of something you’ve held onto for so long?
How do you unlearn years of convincing yourself that this is what love feels like?
And then Rome came to mind again.
Not loud. Not overwhelming. Just steady.
Rome, who stayed up late helping him memorize lines even if he is not the main character because Rome know how important this is for him because of his mother.
Rome, who told him he was enough even when no one else did.
Rome, who looked at him like he mattered like he was chosen.
Rome, who left, because Raffy never chose him back.
Silence filled his room.
And for the first time Raffy understood.
Jack was never the one he wanted. Jack was just someone he had spent years trying to reach.
But Rome, Rome was the one who met him halfway.
The one who stayed, the one who made space for him in his life.
Raffy stood abruptly, heart racing. “I have to fix this.”
That was the moment everything changed. When Raffy finally understood what love was. And who it had always been for.
── ⟡ ˙🎧 ̟
Raffy grabbed Jack by his arm.
“We need to talk, It's urgent” Raffy stated. Jack nodded his head “Alright speak”
“I think I’ve been confusing admiration with love.” Raffy started
Jack frowned. “What?”
Raffy stepped back “I’ve been looking up to you for so long”
A pause “I didn’t realize I didn’t actually love you.”
Jack didn’t speak and just looked at him.
“Not the way I should, I'm leaving the play, Dean can finally have that role all to himself without worrying about me stealing it ” Raffy added.
And then he walked away, Jack called out his name but this time he already made up his mind and is determined to fix something that is worth chasing this time.