Work Text:
For once, he was glad to find Fenris asleep when he finally returned home from the clinic.
Home, he thought with a shake of his head. Since when did this dilapidated place become home?
But there was little point to asking silly questions, so he just shook his head again, a wry smile crossing his face as he slipped into the bathing room. He knew he was likely to fall asleep in a bath, but he was in no state for bed just yet. Fenris would not appreciate waking up to a dirty and bedraggled bed partner, no more than Anders would appreciate having to try to clean himself up after the grime had been given even more of a chance to set in.
"It looks as though things in the clinic were quite busy," drawled a sleepy voice from behind him. "Has the Carta been acting up again?"
Anders whirled around to find Fenris leaning against the doorframe, and immediately regretted the sudden movement. Fenris' eyes widened and he darted forward to catch Anders before he could topple over.
"Anders? Are you alright?" The concern in his voice was a balm to Anders' soul. He wished it had the same effect on his weary body.
"The Templars sacked the clinic," Anders sighed. "I've just spent all night trying to set things back to rights."
"What?" Fenris guided Anders to a stool by the tub, pushing down on his shoulders until he sat down. "I thought Meredith was leaving you alone because of Hawke." A frown creased his mouth as he started tugging off Anders' jacket. Anders was too tired to protest, so he allowed Fenris to undress him. "You were not hurt?" As he removed Anders' clothes, his eyes and fingers searched the revealed skin, looking for signs of recent injury.
"No, I am fine" Anders brushed Fenris aside lightly, rising to remove his pants and step into the tub. He probably should have rinsed himself first to remove the worst of the grime, but it seemed like too much effort. "They came this morning, while we were still returning from the coast. No doubt that way they can claim they were only searching for suspected escaped mages and that it was in no way an attack on me."
He slipped beneath the water to wet his hair and then came back up. At least with Fenris to talk to, he would probably manage to stay awake through his bath. Although he would much rather have put off this conversation until the morning.
You have put off too much of late, the voice that he still thought of as Justice rumbled. How much longer can you deny that action must be taken? He shook his head, trying to shake off the voice. But how did one shake off his own thoughts? He sighed and leaned back against the edge of the tub, humming in appreciation when nimble fingers began working soap through his hair. I just need a little more time. That's all. I want to enjoy this while I am still able.
"But why sack the clinic?" Even with his eyes closed, Anders knew that Fenris was scowling. His frustration was palpable. His fingers dug deeply into Anders' scalp, not quite painful, but with just a bit too much pressure. "The Templars should not have done that. You may only serve the people of Darktown, but that benefits all of Kirkwall. Surely Meredith knows that."
"It was a message." Anders ducked back under the water to rinse the soap from his hair and continued when he resurfaced. "She wants me to know I'm not wholly immune. If I continue to smuggle mages out of the Gallows, she will strike at me."
"You think she knows you're behind the Underground?" Anders craned his neck to look at Fenris, surprised at the worry he heard in his lover's voice.
"She's always known," he answered softly. "Or at least she's known long enough that it makes no difference. But I know that. I've always done what I can to keep her from finding any evidence she could use to go back on her promise to Hawke."
Fenris sat back on the stool, mulling this over. The look of concern did not leave his face. Anders sighed and reached for a cloth and soap, scrubbing away the last evidence of the day's work. He was pretty sure he knew what was coming next. Finished with his bath, he drained the tub and began toweling himself off, waiting for Fenris to speak again. Sure enough, as he hung the towel back in its place, Fenris looked up and took a deep breath.
"Will you continue freeing the mages, then?"
Anders didn't answer at first, making his way back to the bedroom and sitting on the edge of the bed. Fenris followed him, his body tensed as if to brace himself against Anders' reply.
"No," Anders breathed as Fenris sat beside him. Fenris relaxed instantly and Anders shot him a rueful smile, reaching out to take his hand. "But not because of this. Well, not because I am afraid of Meredith, at least."
"Then why?"
"Because she has managed to spook my contact on the inside."
"You've a contact inside the Gallows?" Fenris blinked in surprise. "I can't imagine you letting anyone stay there just to help the Underground..."
"He's not a mage," Anders said softly. Fenris' eyebrows shot up. "Yes," Anders nodded, "there has been a Templar helping with the Underground. More than one, I think. "But my contact feels that he cannot abandon the mages who remain in the Gallows. So instead, he has helped facilitate the escape of those who are most abused by his brethren and those he fears are most likely to crack only because of how bad things are. Meanwhile, by staying in place, he does what he can to try to keep the others from mistreating the mages even further." He shook his head. "Not that it does much good under Meredith's rule."
"Well. I must say I never thought the day would come when I would hear you speak well of a Templar." Fenris' lips quirked up at the corners. The thought clearly amused him.
"It just goes to show how bad Meredith has gotten," Anders said sadly. He sighed. "But Meredith is cracking down on anyone she thinks is sympathizing with the mages, and she has her most loyal lackeys keeping a close eye on the rest of the Templars. My contact cannot risk trying to sneak anyone out anymore. He'll be lucky to make it through the next month with his head intact."
"I am...sorry."
Are you? Anders managed to bite back the retort, but only barely. He knew that while Fenris was uncomfortable with the idea of setting mages free from the Circles, even he could see that the Gallows was only pushing more of them to blood magic with every passing day. He could appreciate what it meant that those most at risk had no way out now.
Things were bound to come to a head soon anyway. This will only accelerate it.
For once, he could not argue with the voice.
You know what we must do.
Yes, he argued with himself. But not yet. Not yet.
"Sebastian believes the situation will resolve itself before too long. I know he has been troubled by Meredith's actions of late, but Elthina assures him that everything is in hand. She seems to think she can keep Meredith from going too far."
Anders laughed, loud and bitter.
"Of course she thinks that," he scowled, pulling his hand out of Fenris' and turning away. "She's the worst of the lot."
"Do not say that in Sebastian's hearing. He loves her like a mother, I think."
"The more fool he is, then."
"Anders." Fenris frowned.
"I know he is your friend, love, but he is wrong in this." He turned back to Fenris, trying to explain, trying to get Fenris to understand. "She could set things in Kirkwall to rights simply by removing Meredith from the Gallows, yet she does nothing. If Sebastian thinks that her sitting back and waiting will somehow improve things then he is either an idiot or willfully blind."
"Do you really think it is that simple? Remove Meredith and all will be well again?" The doubt in his voice was plain. Fenris did not even bother to address the insult to his friend. He knew there was no love lost between the two men. Anders suspected that he had long since given up any hopes of them reconciling their differences.
"Of course not," Anders sighed. "But it would be a start. And it would give everyone a chance to breathe and actually try to start improving things. As long as she remains in power, the situation will only continue to get worse."
"Don't you think that if that were so, Elthina would have long since done just that?"
"I think she doesn't care," came the bitter reply.
Fenris opened his mouth as if to argue the point but shut it again without speaking. He shook his head briefly and Anders felt a momentary pang of guilt. He should not be arguing about this with Fenris. It helped nothing and no one. Thankfully, Fenris seemed to feel the same.
"Come. We will not settle this tonight. Let us go to sleep."
Anders agreed eagerly and they lay down in the bed, curling up together and arranging the blankets so that they were both comfortable. Anders allowed himself a smile as he thought that the equal distribution would not last until morning. Fenris, he mused, was a blanket hog. But he didn't mind. Better no blankets and a Fenris than threadbare blankets and no Fenris at all.
He was almost asleep when that voice spoke up once more, not yet done with the conversation, it seemed.
Everything is in place. The situation only worsens by the day. How much longer are you willing to wait?
Not much longer, he promised himself sadly. Not much longer at all now.