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Steve was already high when Dustin came over that evening. He'd smoked half a joint earlier, tapping it out so that he could light up again later, letting the night slowly unfold before him. Phil Collins was crooning on the record player and Steve luxuriated in the way that the base chords of the song jumped out at him, more prominent in his ear than when he usually listened.
Dustin let himself in with Steve's spare key, giving him a distracted greeting because he was flipping through a textbook. He had given Dustin the key a couple weekends ago, asking him to check on his growing collection of house plants while he’d been out of town. Dustin had yet to return the key, and Steve had been loathe to ask for it back. The truth was, he liked that his friend made himself at home in his space.
"Hey, flip the record for me, will you?" Steve asked, not wanting to move from where he was stretched out on the couch. He tossed a baseball to himself straight up into the air, the soft thwap of the leather hitting into his palm grounding him.
The record scratched slightly as Dustin placed the needle back on. Normally, Steve would snap at him about ruining the grooves, but the thought floated through his mind without irritation, and he decided to let it go.
"What's the occasion?" Dustin asked, throwing his backpack into a chair at the kitchen table.
"Can't I just get high when I want to?" Steve mused, flicking his eyes over to where Dustin had pulled open a notebook that he was currently scribbling into, occasionally glancing at his textbook.
"Sure you can, but there's usually a reason when you do," Dustin said, not looking up from his work.
Steve paused in his tossing, surprised that Dustin had noticed that. Was that true? Maybe it was, but Steve didn't think there was anything wrong with wanting to take the edge off now and again. He thought back over the day. School, practice, a dentist appointment, a couple meetings with parents...
"Had a dentist appointment today," Steve finally answered, tonguing his molars, sliding over the smooth enamel. He avoided the spot where he'd gotten a shot. It was still tender and sore where the needle had gone in. "Needed a couple of fillings."
Steve had tried to stay calm, breathing steadily through his nose during the process, but by the end of it he'd been sweating and his hands shook so badly he'd dropped his keys twice as he tried to unlock the car. He'd sat in the front seat for ten minutes trying to get his brain focused enough to drive back to school. But the meetings with the parents hadn't gone well, either. He felt like he was being interrogated, tripped over his answers and discussion of the students in question, and left the meeting positive that the parents thought he was an idiot.
Dustin looked up sharply from his books at the mention of the dentist, eyes kindling in recognition.
“You wanna talk about it?” He asked cautiously.
“Nah,” Steve said easily, flinging himself off the couch to select the next record for when Phil Collins finished. Queen was too frenetic, he decided after spending a long second regarding A Night at the Opera. “No one likes the dentist,” he said by way of an explanation, finally landing on David Bowie.
Steve heard Dustin sigh, but he didn’t say anything more. When Phil Collins finally died away, Steve carefully put Bowie on, focusing his attention very carefully on making sure the needle arm didn’t shake at all as he placed it down. When the music started smoothly, Steve spun around pleased and started shimmying his shoulders and hips as the first chords of “Beauty and the Beast” filled the living room. Letting the music guide him, he danced over to Dustin who had returned to his homework.
“Come dance with me,” Steve cajoled Dustin, trying to get him to look up at where he was doing a goofy two-step, snapping his fingers to the beat.
Dustin snorted at Steve’s antics. “No thanks, I’m good, dude.”
“Ah c’mon,” Steve whined, singing along to the lyrics, “you can't say no to the Beauty and the Beast.”
“Hmm, I think I can actually, but don’t let me stop you. I’ve got a great view right where I am,” Dustin grinned, leaning back and crossing his arms as he watched Steve continue to bop along to the music.
“Suit yourself, Mr. Boring,” he said, spinning around and shaking his ass as he danced over to the coffee table to light up the second half of his joint.
“Hey, if you’re going to smoke around me, are you going to finally let me take a hit? I’m eighteen now, so your dumb rules about corrupting a minor shouldn’t count anymore,” Dustin said.
Steve plopped down on the couch, joint between his lips and lighter in his hands. The idea of smoking with Dustin sounded great. They could find something dumb to watch on TV and maybe Steve could convince him to spend the whole evening with him.
“Sure, man,” he said easily.
Dustin shot up eagerly. “Wait, really? I thought for sure you’d say no!”
“Yeah, come over here,” Steve said, patting the cushion next to him. No sooner had he said it, then Dustin was already abandoning the table to sit close to Steve on the couch.
Steve offered him the joint and lighter, surprised when Dustin hesitated with his fingers on the unlit joint.
“Wait, is this your first time smoking?” Steve asked, now really excited about the prospect of introducing Dustin to the wonderful world of getting high as shit. He honestly assumed that Dustin had smoked with Eddie back during his freshman year.
“Uhm, yeah…” Dustin said, a touch of nerves in his voice that Steve, even high, could tell he was trying to hide. Wanting to soothe them away, Steve launched into an explanation.
“Oh, well, it’s easy. You just need to breathe really deeply when you take a hit. Like, a full body breath that gets into your lungs. You wanna feel the smoke here,” Steve said, leaning forward and placing his hand on the center of Dustin’s ribcage. He heard Dustin’s breath catch slightly. “And you can hold it in for a little bit before breathing out. Just try not to cough. I mean, you probably will cough a lot since it’s your first time, but it’s better if you try not to.” Steve rattled off the monologue of advice that he’d gotten from the pretty junior who’d shared a bowl with him, Tommy and Carol back when they were freshman at a Halloween party. “Want me to light the joint for you?”
Dustin nodded and brought the joint to his lips, eyes trained on Steve who leaned in to light the tip. Unsurprisingly, Dustin started coughing as soon he sucked a breath in, bending over and hacking loudly, as he waved the joint over to Steve, who rescued it from his fingers. Steve laughed as Dustin continued to cough, sounding like he was trying to evacuate his lungs from his body. Taking a smooth drag off the joint, Steve leaned back against the arm of the couch and tipped his head back to blow smoke rings out of his mouth. Dustin glowered at him, eyes watering.
“You’re just showing off, aren’t you?” He wheezed.
“Is it working?” Steve arched an eyebrow at him, hoping the answer was yes.
Dustin didn’t respond except to suck in a huge breath of air and roll his eyes, but a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.
“Are you feeling anything? You want another hit?” Steve asked, poking his toe at Dustin’s thigh.
“Fuck, already? I barely stopped coughing, dude, what the hell?”
Steve remembered his first time hacking and coughing away, and then later, once Tommy and Carol had gone back inside the party, the pretty junior--Brenda--had taught Steve another way to get high.
“You know, there’s a way to ease into things more if you’re having trouble,” Steve said, lifting an eyebrow.
“Well, why didn’t you start with that first?” Dustin's voice still sounded ragged.
Steve took a long drag, held it in his mouth, and then leaned forward to capture Dustin’s chin in his hand. The fluid movement caught Dustin off-guard, mouth falling open to let out an indignant retort, which gave Steve the perfect opportunity to brush his lips over Dustin’s and blow the smoke in a steady stream into his mouth. His lips were dry and soft, and Steve almost wanted to press more firmly against them. Dustin sucked in a breath in surprise, but caught on quickly, like Steve knew he would. He breathed in deeply, and Steve pulled back to watch as Dustin held it in for a moment before breathing out through his nose.
“What the hell was that?” Dustin asked, coughing only slightly this time. He didn’t sound angry, only intrigued and surprised, almost pleasantly so.
“Shotgunning,” Steve said simply.
“Cool,” Dustin nodded. “I think I’m starting to feel it.” A dopey smile spread across his face.
“Hell yeah, man,” Steve chuckled.
He took another drag and leaned forward, an invitation this time, finding that he really wanted another opportunity to feel Dustin’s lips on his, if only because each sensation on his skin felt so intense. The music continued to play, thrumming through his chest comfortably. Dustin looked at him for a second before leaning in and opening his mouth, eyes fluttering shut.
Steve supposed he should feel more awkward about pressing his lips to his best friend’s like this, but it just seemed like the most practical thing to do to help Dustin get high in a way that didn’t totally obliterate his lungs. Besides, Dustin had always been different. Special. He could do things with Dustin that he couldn’t do with his other friends.
When Dustin pulled back after inhaling he didn’t go far. He’d placed a hand on Steve’s shoulder to steady himself, and giggled slightly. “Man, my head feels so floaty. I can see why you do this. Everything feels all soft and fuzzy around the edges.”
Steve smiled, glad that Dustin was enjoying the sensation, glad to have helped him get high so easily. “It’s even better than that. Everything feels better with weed. Food, music, sex. It’s all so…” Steve searched for the right word.
“Electric?” Dustin supplied.
“Exactly! You get it.” Steve took a drag, breathing the smoke into his own lungs this time. “You always do. It’s like you’re in my head sometimes,” he said, letting the smoke out in a great puff between them.
Dustin’s eyes sparked in delight through the haze. “I feel the same way! Like…even when we’re arguing, it’s like, I know what you’re going to say next.”
Dustin’s eyes flicked to the joint in Steve’s fingers and then up to his lips, and Steve moved in once more, holding him in place this time with a hand to the back of his neck. Sealing his lips over Dustin’s more fully so that no smoke escaped, he blew, feeling the smoke leave his mouth as Dustin inhaled, as if they were breathing in and out as one creature. Steve’s eyes slipped close, reveling in the warmth that radiated from Dustin, the coarse texture of his curls that he rubbed between his fingers as he held the nape of his neck, and the press of his knee against Dustin’s leg where he was curled forward on the couch.
Belatedly, Steve realized he should have pulled away by now, but when he did, Dustin seemed perfectly content, as if he had no concerns about how intimate they were being. It soothed away the small creeping threat of anxiety that had just started to tickle at the back of his neck. He searched for the thread of the conversation they’d dropped.
“Do you really think we argue that much?”
“No. Not like, real arguments. Just like, y’know…” Dustin gestured vaguely with the hand not occupied with fingering the hem of Steve’s shirt. “Like we’re not actually mad at each other. We just…argue. Like, bickering. It’s different.”
Dustin was so close that Steve could almost see himself reflected in his eyes. He stared, mesmerized, wondering if he’d been getting the color of Dustin’s eyes wrong all these years. He thought they were blue, but in the dim light of Steve’s living room, they almost looked a stormy grey.
“Different how?” Steve asked, almost dreamily, taking another hit. The joint was almost gone, but that was okay because Steve felt cocooned in blissful ease, focused entirely on the person he liked most in the world sitting less than two inches in front of him who was staring back just as intensely.
Dustin laughed again. “I don’t know! We haven’t really fought in a long time. I know what that’s like. But normally, it’s like, you push back on my bullshit and I push back on yours but I know you’re not going to get actually upset or mad. It’s like, I think we make each other better, y’know?”
Steve blinked, something fluttering in his stomach at the casual admission that Dustin thought Steve made him better. “I should have known that you’d be a philosophical stoner,” he joked, trying to cover up how touched he felt.
“Shut up!” Dustin smacked him on the chest, and Steve jerked away, laughing.
“Joint’s almost done - you want the last hit?”
Dustin nodded, but made no move to grab it from Steve’s fingers, so Steve pulled the last of the smoke into his mouth and dropped the butt into the ashtray. Crowding back into Dustin’s space, Steve knelt over him so that Dustin had to crane his neck up, and Steve cradled the back of Dustin’s head with his hands, breathing a final time into the heat of Dustin’s mouth, wishing he could feel more than just the press of his lips pulled taught to create a tight seal.
Steve was about to pull away to his side of the couch when he felt Dustin, whose hands had come back to rest on his shoulders, press his fingers down insistently, stilling Steve in his movements. He looked down at Dustin, whose face was soft and open, eyes half-shut in reverie.
“Joint’s tapped, Dustin,” he said.
“I know,” Dustin breathed, warm air puffing against Steve’s face and making Steve blink rapidly.
Steve looked back down to Dustin’s lips, which were parted slightly. They looked so soft and inviting, and he wanted desperately to lean down and capture them in his own.
So that’s exactly what he did.
Dustin let out a satisfied sigh as Steve kissed him, collapsing back against the couch and pulling Steve down on top of him. Steve hummed, relishing the silky softness of Dustin’s full lips, brushing his own mouth back and forth over them in a gentle caress before Dustin pressed Steve more firmly against him, deepening the kiss.
They kissed like that as Bowie continued to sing, satisfied with trading kisses languidly for the time being. When Dustin dragged his hands from Steve’s shoulders up into his hair and started scratching his blunt nails against Steve’s scalp, it sent little shock waves of electricity from the top of head down to his toes, and he let out a quiet moan at the massage. Steve slipped his tongue out to run along the seam of Dustin’s mouth, intoxicated by the soft feeling of lips. Dustin’s mouth fell open, a small sound escaping his throat, and although Steve wanted to explore the inside of his mouth, he was still too focused on his lips. He bit down gently on Dustin’s lower lip, finally admitting to himself just how long he’d been captivated by the thought of doing that, and then sucked it between his lips. The deeper groan that it elicited from Dustin sent a deep curl of heat through Steve to settle low in his core.
Steve’s high had settled like a trance around him so that his whole world had shrunk to the many points of contact between him and Dustin, who was stretched completely underneath Steve like they’d done this a thousand times before. Perhaps Steve should have been more concerned about kissing his best friend who was a guy and still in high school, but the truth was, this felt easy. Right. Natural.
Steve must have pulled away slightly, caught up in his thoughts because Dustin stilled underneath him. Moving his hand to cup Steve’s cheek, Dustin stopped kissing him, which Steve didn’t like at all..
“Steve?” Dustin whispered against his lips. “Why are we stopping?” He dragged his lips across Steve’s cheek and chin, not quite kissing, just mouthing over him. It sent another shiver of pleasure through Steve.
“Do you like this?” Steve asked, feeling stupid even as the words left him. He nuzzled his nose across Dustin’s and felt Dustin smile against his jaw.
“Do I even need to answer that?” he breathed, moving up to the shell of Steve’s ear, the low vibrations of his voice rumbling through him.
“I guess not,” Steve said, ducking his head so he could start kissing down Dustin’s throat, sucking at his pulse point and making Dustin gasp sharply. “But it would be nice to hear anyway.” He returned to kissing and sucking all over Dustin’s neck, the skin deliciously warm under his lips.
“I like this, Steve,” Dustin’s voice turned into a moan on his name when Steve bit down on the muscle of his throat. It made Steve’s eyes roll into his head, and he was a little bit worried that Dustin had just casually ruined him for life because all Steve wanted was to hear Dustin say his name like that again and again. “Can I suck on your tongue?” Dustin asked.
“Fuck, absolutely,” Steve said eagerly, returning to kiss Dustin deeply, plunging his tongue into his mouth, and catching it on the sharp edge of his braces, drawing blood. The copper taste was sucked away as Dustin wrapped his lips around his tongue, groaning as he did so, before he licked his way into Steve’s mouth. He explored every inch of him, sliding his tongue along his teeth, pressing over his tender gums until Steve hissed in pain when he found the spot where he’d gotten his shot. Dustin stilled for a moment, then licked over the same spot more tenderly. It relaxed Steve’s shoulders that had hunched up in reaction, and Steve let himself fall more heavily against Dustin.
“I think I want to do this forever,” Steve admitted when they finally stopped for air. It felt like the last barriers between the two of them had fallen away, and he could tell Dustin anything.
“Okay,” Dustin smiled. “Then don’t stop.”
Holding Steve’s face in his hands, Dustin looked up at him with something that he thought looked an awful lot like adoration. Steve pressed his forehead against Dustin’s, feeling completely overwhelmed. Steve supposed they would talk tomorrow about what this meant, when they were sober, but for now, they were both content to chase what euphoria they wanted. The night continued to unfold around them as they shared space and touch and breath.