Chapter Text
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Regulus groaned. He fell forwards, bracing his forearm against the wall and dropped his forehead onto the piece of parchment pinned to the notice board, it crinkled under his skin. He stood there with his eyes closed tight, maybe if he never opened them again this wouldn’t be happening.
“This. Is. Brilliant.” Barty sounded elated.
“I think it’s divine intervention.” Said Pandora.
“But is this divine entity trying to help our dear Reggie or are they trying to destroy his life?” Added Evan.
“Maybe just his sanity.” Dorcas finished.
Even with his eyes closed Regulus could tell they were grinning in that wicked way of theirs that preluded someones downfall, too bad it was his.
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The seemingly innocuous piece of parchment that ushered in the downfall of Regulus Arcturus Black was the timetable sheet for this terms prefect rounds. Written on the scroll was the schedule for their rounds and their… prefect partners. It was a rule at Hogwarts that prefect partners must be from different houses to keep things fair and balanced, as Regulus’ eyes skimmed the list looking for his own name he saw his best friend Dorcas was paired with Marlene Mckinnon, a beater on the Gryffindor quidditch team, and his friend Luna from Ravenclaw was partnered with Gryffindors head girl Lily Evans. When Regulus found his own name his stomach dropped to the floor.
‘Regulus Black & James Potter’
“It’s only until Christmas break.” Evan said consolingly, “that’s only 3 months.”
Pandora gently pried Regulus off the wall, he turned around to face his circle of friends, the twins had mirroring expressions of pity, Dorcas looked sort of smug and Barty looked like Christmas came early.
“This isn’t funny you know.” Regulus glared at him.
“On the contrary, I think you and your darling Potter going on nightly moonlit walks is very funny.”
Dorcas bit her lip to stop herself from laughing. Regulus’ crush on James was a favorite topic of conversation amongst his four friends and the cause of endless teasing. Now he and James had patrol together four nights a week, making sure students didn’t sneak out of their dorms after curfew. And their first shift was tonight.
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“James Fleamont Potter!”
“Oh you’re in it now mate”
“Shut up, Sirius” James hushed.
Lily marched into the dormitory and slammed the scrap of parchment down onto James' bed. He didn’t need to look up from where he was hanging upside down and sideways off his mattress to know what it said.
“Hi, Lily. How are you?” James asked, acting as if she stormed into their dorm if fits of fury regularly. Actually, she did, but not so often lately. The boys had stopped pulling pranks on Lily in 6th year when her and James had started dating and it wouldn't have been right to start again when they broke up five months later. So the sight of Lily with a face as red as her hair and eyes blazing wasn’t unfamiliar, but still surprising to everyone except James.
“Lils, is everything alright?” Remus asked as he stood from Sirius’ bed and cautiously crossed the room towards her, like he was trying not to startle a frightened animal.
“Why don’t you ask him!” Lily still hadn’t taken her eyes off James.
Surius picked the piece of parchment up from James’ bed and skimmed the contents, “It’s the prefect rota for this term.” He said quizzically, looking between Lily, Remus and James as he tried to piece together the puzzle.
“Lily, what’s going on?” Remus tried again.
Lily stepped forward and snatched the parchment out of Sirius’ hands. It was already ripped from where she’d torn it off the wall and it ripped a little more from the miniature tug of war.
“He swapped the names on the prefect schedule.” Lily said angrily, shoving the paper into Remus’ chest.
“What makes you think that?” Remus, asked as he began reading through the list of names. Remus laughed, “Ha, Snape’s with Lockhart that’ll annoy the hell out of them both. Aw, you put Marlene with Dorcas you big softie.”
While Marlene's crush on Dorcas was no secret, James was the only one who knew about Lilys crush on Pandora. James knew she wasn’t about to confess it to the whole dorm, not even to Remus who she’d always had a special friendship with since first year when they discovered on the train that the two of them had the same favorite book: ‘A Wizard of Earthsea’.
James and Lily had broken up in May when they realized they preferred the way things had been when they were just friends.
But afterwards rather than things becoming weird and awkward their friendship was changed for the better, they were each others confidants. They felt more comfortable around each other now than they had before. James didn’t feel like he had to try to impress Lily or show off, and Lily once told James she felt like she’d been putting on a performance of how James Potter's girlfriend was supposed to look and act while never feeling like she fit the part.
When they weren’t trying to be ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’ they could be entirely themselves. Which included Lily opening up about her crush on a certain blonde Ravenclaw.
Lily had been a nervous wreck when she told him; because how do you tell your ex boyfriend that now you have a crush on a girl? But he was also the person she’d wanted to tell the most.
Of course James had been his usual kind and supportive self, how could she have ever imagined anything different? But then he surprised the hell out of her by returning her secret with one of his own: that he fancied Regulus Black.
“Are you angry that he’s messing with Snape?” Peter asked.
“As our pranks go this is pretty tame.” Said Sirius. “And you’re not friends with Snivelly anymore anyway so why do you care?”
“I don’t.” Lily sniffed. James knew it was a lie though. Just because Snape had hurt her didn't mean Lily could stop caring, that was just the kind of person she was. She’d care even if caring hurt her, they had that in common. “This is about- about Marlene and Dorcas.” She glared daggers at James. “You shouldn’t mess with other people's love lives.”
James of course knew who she was really talking about. He also knew she wasn’t going to say anything in front of the others.
He hadn’t meant to upset her, the plan had been to sneak into McGonagall's office the first night back while everyone else was at the feast and make sure he and Regulus were paired together (some things were too important to leave up to fate). He hadn’t planned on swapping anyone elses names around but he’d always been impulsive. He couldn’t miss the opportunity to set Marls up with the girl she’d been crushing on since fifth year, and due to a terrible spot of bad luck Lily had been partnered with Snape. Lily shouldn’t have to spend hours stuck with that greasy git James thought. He could’ve chosen anyone but surely Lily would rather spend that time with her crush than anybody else? Her and Pandora didn’t have any classes together, being in separate years, and only saw each other at Slug Club meetings or when Sirius invited his brother to a party and she came along with the rest of their friends. Patrolling together would give them an opportunity to get to know each other; it was the perfect plan. At least that was what he told himself as he enchanted the letters and watched them dart across the page reshuffling themselves to his liking.
Judging by Lily's unwavering expression of fury maybe it’d been a bad idea.
“It could just be a coincidence?” Remus tried. As the saying goes, two’s a coincidence and three’s a pattern. If Remus knew about either of their crushes he’d have seen there were two more couplings that James had obviously had a hand in.
“Come on Red,” said Sirius. “Marene’s fancied Meadowes for ages, I think she needs a little push.” Marlene was the type of girl to always go for what she wanted and not hold back, it’s what made her such a good quidditch player, except apparently when it came to Dorcas Meadowes. Despite liking her for almost two years Marlene hadn’t made a move. She’d talk to her at parties and in class and even flirt with her a bit during matches against Slytherin, where it could be played off as friendly rivalry, but she hadn’t asked her out.
“That’s not for you to decide!” Lily whirled on Sirius. “It’s her business! What if she doesn’t want to act on it! What if she wants to secretly pine forever? What if she’s just not ready!” Lily turned back to stare directly at James and a guilty feeling began to swirl in his stomach. He and Lily had never discussed why she hadn’t asked out Pandora yet. James wanted to apologize, but he couldn’t tell her what he was actually sorry for in front of the others.
Peter, who’d taken the schedule from Remus and had now finished reading, broke the silence.
“So, James, you’re partnered with Regulus?” The tone was more knowing than James would’ve liked.
“What?” Sirius cried, clambering up from his bed and snatching the scroll from Peter, tearing it another inch down the center. “Good luck with that one mate, he acts like you’ve got the fucking plague. How’re you going to patrol together when he won’t even talk to you?”
This was the exact problem James had been trying to solve.
“Well Regulus can’t totally ignore him if they’re forced to spend all their time together, can he?” Lily said icily.
“If anyone could make it through three months of prefect patrols without saying a word to their partner, it would be Regulus.” Said Sirius.
“Oh I’m sure James can charm him given enough time spent alone together, right James?” Trust Lily to see right through him.
James smirked, “Well I hope so.”
Lily let out a frustrated sigh. “This’ll come back to bite you, people don’t like being pushed into things they aren’t ready for.” She spun around and stormed out of the dorm.
After the door slammed shut behind her Sirius curiously turned to James, “Did you mess with the prefect schedules?”
James bit his lip to suppress a grin.
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