Work Text:
Dandelion
The walk to the hospital room was infinitely long. Once the Treaty of Brennan had been signed and the dignitaries seen off, what felt like the full sum of exhaustion of her entire life rammed into Cinder at once. Weak legged and stumbling, she clutched onto Kai as they made their way back through the dizzying halls of Artmesia Palace.
Part of her wanted to take in every single detail of the impossible beauty surrounding her. Most of her wanted to collapse into a coma for three more days.
Cinder drew strength from the surety with which Kai supported her. He had been a constant presence since she had woken up, always ready to give her a hand as she stumbled weakly through the palace. Every question she had, he had a ready answer. It was a comfort to be surrounded by his calm.
All around her she could see hints of repair. Kai pointed out the work that had been done in the last three days as they walked. Cinder was only able to half-process all the things he told her. She was not worried about it. She knew that he would tell her everything again the next day.
The deserted halls gave way to the quiet buzz of the medical wing. Cinder nodded at countless doctors and nurses with as much grace as she could muster. Every single time, mirth would flicker into Kai’s eyes.
“Is it always going to be like this,” she muttered under her breath as they entered her room. Kai eased her on her hospital bed with a small smile. “How do you not have neck pain from all of the nodding?”
“You need to use your shoulders more.” Kai mimed an exaggerated nod. “Like that”
“Like this?” Trying to make him laugh, Cinder imitated him and immediately regretted it. Sharp pain burst around her incision. Wincing, she pressed her hands over her bandages.
The switch was instant.
“Be careful!” Kai surrounded her in a flurry, hands flying over hers on her chest. “Does it hurt? Did you pull a stitch? Should I - Should I call the doctor?”
Cinder could feel the heightened flutter of his pulse. His breath was coming in rapid pulses. If Kai had had system warnings, she was sure they would have been flashing red.
Moreover, he had that expression in his eyes once again, the one that made her feel unbelievably fragile.
Suddenly, Cinder realised he had been trying very, very, very hard all day.
“I am fine,” she said over his flustering, voice weak. The pain had already subsided to a dull ache. She clasped both of his wrists, his hands still resting over where she had been stabbed. “I am alright, Kai.”
His eyes had been fixed upon her chest the entire time. He slowly turned a shaky palm to face him, its spotless fingers trembling. “Kai,” Cinder said, rubbing his forearm, “I’m okay.”
Blinking as if he was in a trance, he finally looked up into her eyes. “You’re okay,” he croaked, “You’re okay.” As if all of his strength had left him, he collapsed to his knees, his hands caged on her waist. “You’re okay.” He was staring up at her as if she was a mirage. “You’re okay.”
“Kai.”
She cupped his face with both hands, rubbing her fingers lightly over his jaw. There was more friction there than she remembered, dark stubble bristling against her fingertips.
“I. I should let you rest but - but - There was so much blood, Cinder,” he said after a some time. His voice was shaky. “So much. I tried to stop it but you were drenched. You-“
Cinder stroked his jaw as Kai spoke. It felt like hearing about something that had happened to someone else. The slick red surrounding her. The way her eyes had slipped shut. The faint pulse he had held onto. The pallor of her skin. The limp fingers.
As he spoke, new waves of dizziness began to lap at her. Tugging his arms, she bid him to follow as she laid down. He moved without stopping the half-chant he had slipped into. She listened to every single mad detail he had latched onto.
They lay facing one another on the hospital bed, hands clasped in between them, her in her borrowed gown and him in his rumpled silk shirt.
It felt like the start of something deeper than she ever been a part of.
Slowly, his voice grew stable. Slowly, his words lost their frantic pulse. Slowly, he grew quiet. Slowly, he began to stroke her hair, long collapsed from her elaborate bun.
“You aren’t allowed to die,” he said after a lull. His voice, still quiet, was almost back to the Kai she knew. “Cinder, you are not allowed to die.”
Cinder snorted faintly. “I have a pretty good track record so far.”
He narrowed his eyes at her before softening. “You are real, aren’t you?“
“Why,” she teased with a tired grin. “Did you dream of me?”
“Every night for three months.”
Cinder faltered. Her lie detector had not flickered. Moreover, she realised that had not expected it to.
She wondered if the softness she was feeling was what being truly safe felt like. Everything was so still but she felt no anticipation. It was just them, alone and safe and together.
“You know,” Cinder said after some time with a quirk to her lips, “You didn’t have to do all of that just to crop a feel.”
Kai glared hard as she laughed weakly, her hands reaching for his chest. “Your hands were like this.” She splayed her hands over where his heart sat, ignoring his scoff. “You didn’t have to be so sly.”
His heartbeat was rapid but strong under her fingers. She wondered if hers had been much weaker.
“I should fetch the doctor and have you discharged,” he scolded, “You must be all fixed now if you are strong enough to joke around.”
Laughing made her ache a little but she could not stop. She was alive. He was there. They were safe.
Kai went back to stroking her hair softly. Cinder shifted closer, tucking her head under his chest. His familiar warmth and soapy smell surrounded her. She sighed contentedly against his neck. “Can you stay?”
“I can.” He wrapped an arm lightly around her. “As long as you want.”
Cinder felt her eyes slip shut under the his touch. She was so tired. Her last thought before she drifted off was that she really could not wait to wake up this way.