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Pebbles and shells, crafted by the sea, smoothed by the sand; designed by surprisingly delicate hands. Mastering the earth has its perks.
She chooses the most beautiful pebbles, rounded perfectly, and the prettiest shells, of blues and pinks.
It takes her hours. It takes her hours to make them all the same size, the correct pattern of colours. It takes her hours to create the perfect necklace, enduring many mistakes along the way.
They smell of the salty air.
Eventually, the gift feels right. The correct weight, correct textures; she brushes her fingertips across the shells and pebbles, imagining their appearance, and she’s satisfied with her creation.
The doubt hits, and she is taken by surprise. She isn’t one to doubt her own abilities, let alone her bending, but this isn’t about battle. And, quite frankly, battle is all she’s known. This is about bringing a smile to somebody’s face, and this is about earning another’s affections. She cringes at that. Affection. What a complex thing that must be.
For a while she shall convince herself this is merely what friends do. They offer gifts of praise to each other, as comrades would. It is a way of expressing respect. Recognising the other’s brilliance, and appreciating it.
But who’s she kidding? This isn’t just about camaraderie.
If Sokka knew about her intentions, she would never hear the bloody end of it.
When Katara finally sees the gift, so passionately created for her, there’s a smile in her voice. A joy Toph has not heard before, but it’s something she enjoys hearing. It nearly makes her smile too.
Then she feels Katara move; her feet are light on the ground, yet the ripples of vibration are distinct beneath Toph’s feet. She raises her head slightly, listening for her. A warm hand finds her own, and the necklace is gently accepted. Toph hears the clink of shells and pebbles being knocked together, and she can hear Katara’s quiet delight; she’s admiring the gift.
‘It’s nothing special.’
Katara chuckles. ‘Yes, it is.’
Toph folds her arms, and doesn’t say another word. The last thing she wants is Katara to think she’s soft. As far as she’s concerned, it doesn’t have to be a big deal. It’s just a gift. Just a stupid necklace that anybody could have made. Toph doesn’t even know if she chose the right colours, if the pattern is even correct! And Toph never doubts herself.
More sounds of shells and pebbles knocking together. Katara is putting on the necklace. Then: ‘Toph, it’s perfect! Thank you.’
Perfect.
Really?
Toph cocks back her head. ‘Of course it is. I made it.’
‘By yourself?’
‘Uh, yeah! It wasn’t hard, you know.’
Katara is laughing again, and it’s the most wonderful sound. ‘I don’t think anything is difficult for you. But––’ she’s fiddling with the shells, and her touch is so fragile; so in fear she might shatter Toph’s creation, and it makes the earthbender’s heart swell, ‘––I do love what you’ve given me.’
‘It’s nothing.’
‘Can I ask why you gave me this?’
At first, Toph acts insulted. Why does it matter? She doesn’t have to have any initiative. Sometimes, people are generous, and they enjoy giving. But she knows that’s a dumb remark to make. Toph doesn’t give for the sake of giving.
There’s always reason behind her actions. She is a rational woman, after all, and even acts of love require an explanation.
Because you see more than my lack of sight. Because you’re kind, because you’re generous, because you deserve this. Because when I’m down, you know just the right thing to say. Because, believe it or not, I might actually like you more than a friend ought to.
Because I know you’re wonderful, and I’ve never once seen your face.
Instead, what comes out is: ‘No reason.’
There’s a long silence. No movements, no breathing, nothing. Toph blinks up at where she imagines Katara’s face to be. How she loathes the quiet. The quiet is never good news. The quiet means something is wrong, that she’s in possible danger, that she’s in a vulnerable position. The quiet means Katara is not convinced, and there’s a strong chance she will walk away.
It shouldn’t bother her this much.
‘Really? No reason?’
‘Not one!’
‘You don’t have to play this game with me anymore, Toph.’
She frowns. ‘What game?’
By now, Katara has known her long enough. Four years have passed since they first met, and that’s enough time to see right through somebody. Toph will always put on a brave face, always pretend to be stoic, especially when she doesn’t have to be.
Something happens, and it’s all so quick.
Katara’s feet slip forward slightly, then she’s touching Toph’s face––too hesitantly––and it’s a shock. Toph flinches at the sensation, and wishes she could see Katara’s face; try to figure out what she’s thinking. What she plans to do. Then Katara speaks again, close to a whisper, and reassures her it’s all okay.
(I won’t do anything you won’t like.)
Frozen in place, Toph patiently allows Katara to caress her cheeks, and it shouldn’t be this lovely. It feels nice to be touched this way. And Katara is so tender, so hesitant and generous. Toph allows Katara to hold her face between her hands, and to let their line of gaze meet. She can feel Katara’s warm breath on her lips, and a shiver travels up her spine.
She’s much too close.
‘What are you doing?’
‘I just want you to know that you can be honest with me, because I promise to be honest with you.’
‘Oh, uh, okay.’
‘You’re nervous.’
Toph is about to move away, but she likes the way Katara holds her. A bit too much. ‘Tsk,’ she tries her best scowl, ‘That’s the last thing I am.’
‘I’m going to kiss you now.’
Before Toph can come up with a snarky remark, Katara’s soft lips distract her. She kisses the corner of her mouth first, and then her cheek next. Toph remains absolutely still, trying her best to maintain her composure, but the way Katara touches her, kisses her––it makes her shudder all of a sudden, and she instinctively reaches out.
She grabs the necklace first, secure around Katara’s neck, before letting go immediately. Katara takes her hand at that point, and squeezes affectionately. ‘You want me to stop?’
’No.’ Toph is genuinely surprised by her bluntness, but she knows nothing better. ‘I kinda like it. I guess. Whatever.’
If she could bend a gigantic hole beneath her, and bury herself alive, that would be awesome.
‘Come here.’
Katara doesn't hesitate this time. She kisses her, properly, and Toph’s senses are completely invaded.
Too many smells, too many tastes, too many emotions, too much.
She pushes Katara away.
‘Oh! Sorry. I, uh… I thought––’ By the sound of her tone, Toph can tell Katara is embarrassed. She’s appalled by the idea she might have made Toph uncomfortable, but that’s the last thing she’s made her feel. While Toph wracks through her head the appropriate words, Katara profusely apologises over nothing. It’s when Toph hears her feet move, the sound of her leaving, when she panics.
Toph panics.
Without thinking it through, she grabs Katara’s wrist and yanks her back. ‘Don’t leave me.’ Even Toph is amazed by the sincerity of her words, but she’s doing what Katara encourages: she’s being honest, and in this moment, honesty is all she’s got left.
She can’t really handle the idea of Katara leaving her all alone. Especially after whatever that was.
‘I’m sorry,’ Katara says again. Toph clicks her tongue in irritation. ‘I am! I’m just––I’m not sure what you want me to do.’
‘Stop saying you’re sorry for starters. It’s annoying.’
‘Oh. Right. Sorry.’
Toph dares herself to try. She will accept the explicit height difference between them, and so raises herself slightly, before searching for Katara’s lips. Toph manages to kiss her lower lip at least, and to her relief, Katara guides her to her mouth. A million sparks ignite her whole, and she inhales sharply, trying her hardest to simply focus on the way Katara kisses.
It feels good. Tastes sweet, and warm, and everything she couldn’t imagine. Toph pulls at Katara’s collar, and kisses her harder. She feels even better pressed into her. At first, it’s all so overwhelming. Katara literally blinds her sensations, dominating each one of them, and Toph is vulnerable. She is defenceless, and incapable to hear, smell and feel anything else other than Katara.
But, in its own way, she can’t imagine anything more amazing.
Katara’s pulse, her heartbeat, the rush of blood flowing through her body. Her breath, every inhale she makes, each exhale. When her hands, fingertips, move. To touch her waist, to comb through her hair, sending shocks of excitement through her. Toph can’t help herself, and she has to smile at how incredible Katara makes her feel.
All too soon, Katara pulls back, and Toph is admittedly disappointed.
‘Wow,’ she gasps, and Toph can picture her grinning. Equally pleased with what happened.
Toph hasn’t released her collar, and she doesn’t plan to. ‘You’re not too bad, I guess.’
She knows Katara has just rolled her eyes. ‘Thanks, Toph. You’re really throwing out praises today.’
‘What? I’m new at this too!’
‘Well. Guess you’re not too bad either.’
‘Don’t bother. I know I’m exceptional.’
Katara whispers something on the lines of “unbelievable”, before tugging Toph into another kiss. A wave of adrenaline pumps through her, and Toph responds with enthusiasm. She could honestly get used to this. Their lips part to catch their breath, and Katara steals this opportunity to take the initiative. She holds Toph’s face, her tongue catching Toph by pleasant, but welcome surprise.
So much for being hesitant.
Toph finds the necklace again, the bump of shells and pebbles, so neatly placed. How generosity can work wonders. She feels the surface of the shells, a little dented where the patterns have been designed. The sort of attention to detail Katara undoubtedly acknowledged.
Maybe she’s feeling able to roll over her pride, or maybe it’s Katara and her kisses, or maybe it’s all of that and more, because Toph catches herself smiling crookedly.
‘It does look pretty on you,’ she confesses.
Katara is smiling too, and they find each other again, lost in their own happy daze.