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1st Time – The Yoga Incident
Shane is ten minutes into trying to be a good influence.
Which already says a lot.
“Ilya,” he says, trying to stay patient even though he already knows where this is going, “you were the one who said you wanted to try something new. This counts as something new.”
“I did say that,” Ilya agrees easily.
Shane gestures toward the mat with one hand. “Right. So this is it. This is the something.”
Ilya is still stretched out on the couch.
Completely unmoved.
“You are bending like pretzel,” Ilya says, watching him with far too much focus for someone who claimed he wanted to participate. “It is very impressive. I am appreciating the effort.”
“You’re supposed to be doing it with me,” Shane says, dropping out of a pose just enough to look at him.
“I am supporting you,” Ilya replies. “Emotionally. Very important role.”
Shane lets out a slow breath. “That’s not the point and you know it.”
Ilya tilts his head slightly, his gaze dragging in a way that is definitely intentional.
“You look very strong,” he adds, voice just a little lower.
Shane closes his eyes for a second.
“Ilya.”
“Yes?”
“This is supposed to be for flexibility. And, you know, actual health.”
“Yes,” Ilya says seriously. “I am feeling very healthy watching you do it.”
Shane drops the pose completely this time.
“That’s it. I’m done. This is pointless.”
Ilya grins, not even pretending to feel bad about it.
“Already?” he says. “I thought you had better stamina than this.”
Shane grabs his water bottle. “You didn’t even try.”
“I was about to,” Ilya lies without hesitation.
Shane just shakes his head and walks away.
---
Forty minutes later—
Shane’s phone buzzes.
He doesn’t check it.
Because he already knows.
---
At Yuna and David’s house
“I think he does not love me anymore.”
Yuna pauses mid-pour, glancing up immediately.
David doesn’t even look up from his newspaper.
“Mm,” David says. “What did he do this time, exactly?”
Ilya sits at their table like he belongs there. Which, at this point, he does.
“He refuses to spend time with me,” Ilya says, sounding genuinely wounded about it. “I invited him to do something together. Very bonding, very couple activity.”
Yuna frowns slightly. “That doesn’t sound like Shane. What did you invite him to do?”
“Yoga.”
Yuna brightens a little. “Oh, that’s actually nice.”
“Yes,” Ilya agrees. “He was bending. Very flexible. Very focused.”
David lowers the paper just enough to look at him.
“And you?” he asks.
“I was observing,” Ilya says.
David stares at him.
Yuna presses her lips together.
“Ilya,” she says carefully, “were you actually doing the yoga with him or just watching the whole time?”
“I was appreciating,” Ilya replies, completely serious.
David snorts.
Yuna tries not to laugh.
“He got upset,” Ilya continues. “He left me alone. Very dramatic reaction to nothing.”
Right on cue, the front door opens.
“Mom, I swear—” Shane starts, already halfway into frustration.
He stops when he sees Ilya.
Sitting comfortably.
Drinking tea.
Like this is normal.
“You left so you can complain to my parents” Shane says, incredulous.
“I had nowhere else to go,” Ilya replies with a slight pout.
“You literally live with me.”
“Not emotionally, apparently.”
David chokes on his coffee.
2nd Time – The Dog Negotiation
“Three is reasonable,” Ilya says, like he’s offering a compromise.
“No,” Shane replies immediately, not even looking up this time.
“Four is better,” Ilya continues, unfazed. “It feels more balanced.”
“No.”
“Five is very good number,” Ilya adds, nodding to himself.
“Ilya.”
They stand in the kitchen.
Again.
Like always.
Anya is somewhere nearby, blissfully unaware she is about to gain several siblings.
“We have one dog,” Shane says, turning to face him properly now. “We talked about maybe getting one more. One. Singular.”
“Yes,” Ilya agrees. “So we get four. Is compromise.”
“That’s not how compromise works.”
“It is Russian compromise.”
Shane pinches the bridge of his nose.
“Ilya, we travel. We have schedules. We cannot take care of five dogs. That’s not realistic.”
“They will take care of each other and Yuna and David loves to dogsit,” Ilya insists.
“That is not how dogs work and four dogs are too much to handle for both of them.”
Ilya leans back against the counter, very serious.
“Anya is lonely.”
“She is not lonely.”
“She told me.”
Shane stares at him. “She did not tell you anything.”
“She looks at me with eyes,” Ilya says.
“That’s because you overfeed her.”
“She is growing.”
“She is fully grown, Ilya.”
Anya barks once.
“See?” Ilya says immediately. “She agrees with me.”
Shane exhales.
“One more,” he says firmly. “We can talk about one more. That’s it. Final answer.”
Ilya goes very still.
Like this is a personal betrayal.
“One?” he repeats slowly.
“Yes.”
“For whole life?”
Shane narrows his eyes. “Ilya.”
“This feels very controlling,” Ilya mutters.
Shane points toward the hallway. “We are not opening a dog shelter in this house.”
Ilya doesn’t argue.
He just grabs his jacket.
Shane sighs. “You’re not seriously—”
The door closes.
---
Twenty minutes later—
Shane’s phone buzzes again.
He doesn’t need to look.
---
At Yuna and David’s house
“He limits my happiness.”
David doesn’t even pretend to be surprised anymore.
“How many dogs did you ask for this time?” he asks calmly.
“Five,” Ilya says.
Yuna sets down her cup slowly.
“…Five?”
“One for each day of week,” Ilya explains. “Except two days. Those are rest days.”
David rubs his face.
“And Shane said no.”
“He said one,” Ilya says, clearly offended.
“One more?” Yuna clarifies.
“Yes.”
“That sounds… reasonable,” David says.
Ilya looks at him like he’s been personally betrayed.
“You are also on his side.”
“I’m on the side of logic,” David replies.
Yuna smiles gently. “Ilya, even one dog is a lot of work.”
“She is small,” Ilya argues.
“She will not stay small,” David says.
“She will in my heart.”
The front door opens again.
“Mom—” Shane starts, then stops. “You have got to be kidding me.”
“I am discussing serious issue,” Ilya says.
“With my parents.”
“They are also my emotional support now.”
David laughs out loud.
3rd Time – The Rookie Situation
“I think we should adopt them.”
Shane doesn’t even look up from what he’s doing.
“No.”
Ilya frowns. “You did not even ask who I am talking about. You just said no immediately.”
“I don’t need to ask.”
“The rookies,” Ilya says. “They are very lost.”
“They are adults.”
“They are babies,” Ilya insists. “They do not know how to cook or clean or survive properly.”
“They are professional athletes,” Shane replies.
“They eat like children.”
“That is not a reason to move them into our house.”
Ilya leans forward, more serious now.
“We have space. We can help them. It builds character.”
“We do not have space for multiple grown men living with us.”
“They will sleep on floor.”
“No.”
“They will be quiet.”
“No.”
“They will call you Uncle Shane,” Ilya adds, like that seals it.
Shane finally looks at him.
“No.”
Ilya sighs deeply.
“You are not nurturing person.”
“I am realistic.”
“You are cold sometimes.”
“Ilya.”
“They need guidance.”
“They have coaches.”
“They need love.”
“They have families.”
Ilya crosses his arms.
“You do not support my dreams.”
Shane stares at him.
“What dreams, exactly?”
“To build community,” Ilya says.
“In our living room?”
“Yes.”
“No.”
Ilya grabs his jacket again.
Shane doesn’t even try to stop him this time.
“Say hi to my parents for me,” he calls after him.
---
At Yuna and David’s house
“They are young and vulnerable.”
David sets his paper down very slowly this time.
“How many are we talking about now?” he asks.
“Four,” Ilya says.
Yuna closes her eyes briefly.
“They are rookies,” Ilya continues. “They do not know life yet. They need structure.”
“They are grown men,” David replies.
“They are confused,” Ilya insists.
“So was Shane at twenty,” David says. “We didn’t invite his entire team to live with us.”
Ilya considers this.
“That is missed opportunity.”
Yuna laughs softly despite herself.
“And Shane said no right away?” she asks.
“He did not even think about it,” Ilya says. “Very unsupportive behavior.”
The door opens again.
Shane walks in, already tired.
“I didn’t even wait this time,” he says.
Ilya looks at him.
“You came faster,” he notes.
“I knew exactly where you’d be.”
Yuna smiles into her tea.
David leans back in his chair.
“This is becoming a pattern,” he says.
Shane points at Ilya. “He’s dramatic.”
Ilya points back. “He does not love me.”
Shane walks over, grabs his jacket, and pulls him up.
“Come on. We’re going home.”
Ilya resists just a little.
“For further discussion,” he says.
“For no more adopting hockey players.”
“For maybe three dogs.”
“No.”
“For yoga appreciation.”
“Absolutely not.”
They argue all the way to the door.
Yuna watches them go, smiling softly.
David shakes his head.
“He’ll be back,” he says.
Yuna hums.
“Probably tomorrow.”
David nods.
“Wonder what the complaint will be next time.”
Yuna smiles into her cup.
“Whatever it is,” she says, “Ilya will make it sound like the end of the world.”
And somehow—
It always is.
Just not in the way he thinks.
Last Part – No More Complaints (For Now)
It’s quiet for once, which already makes Shane suspicious. He finds Ilya in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, just watching him.
“What?” Shane asks.
“Nothing,” Ilya says, walking closer. His hand comes up to the back of Shane’s neck, thumb brushing there, easy and familiar.
Shane exhales. “Okay… what do you want?”
“I complain a lot,” Ilya admits. “You say no to many important things. Like four more dogs.”
“Still no,” Shane says.
Ilya smiles a little. “It’s fine. I know something more important.”
Shane tilts his head. “Yeah?”
“That you love me,” Ilya says, softer now. “Even if you do not give me everything I want.”
Shane huffs a quiet laugh. “Yeah. I do.”
“I know,” Ilya replies, then adds gently, “moya lyubov.”
Shane leans into him without thinking. “Still not getting four more dogs.”
Ilya sighs, but he doesn’t argue. He just stays close.