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May 24 finally arrived and everyone who was aware of the Reality War celebrated. It felt like it would never arrive due to the Rani’s machinations. Thanks to the time loop she set up there was no way of knowing how long they had been trapped in Conrad’s world. But now everything was back to normal. The world forgot the wish world went back to their lives. The baby who had once been Desidirium was given to Carla to raise, as they have no way of locating his real family. She and Cherry name him Joseph. Everything was set back to rights. Everyone was safe and sound.
But Ruby was the only one who felt anxious and lost. She, it turned out, was left to carry the burden of this war.
She had already been feeling responsible for Conrad’s part in the plot. He wished the world into what it had become, a lonely, backwards, unreality that alienated people like Shirley and erased her friend Rose from existence. It was so unstable it was breaking down reality until they were falling into the Underverse, another dimension which the Doctor related to Hell itself. Then the Rani reset the day and destroyed the earth again, over and over. They weren’t even sure if Conrad knew he was killing billions every day. But he had no remorse when Ruby teleported into the citadel to confront him. But she did, getting the baby God of Wishes from him and using its power to wish Conrad into a better life. “I wish for you to be happy” she had said, before watching him vanish.
She stepped out of the Tardis on May the 24th to be greeted by the team at Unit, who watched the clock reach midnight and poured some drinks. Everything was back to normal because the Doctor used his wish to cancel out all the wishes and remove the power from the baby. She had asked him if the baby was still the god of Wishes, but he assured her that part of the child was gone. She couldn’t help but wonder though as she stepped into Unit Tower to ask them if reality had returned to normal. It had, bar one exception; Conrad was still out there. But he wasn’t the same. His dad stuck around, he had a job, he had a career, and he was still using social media but to spread positivity rather than hate and propaganda. He was a completely different person to the man who manipulated her and tried to bring down Unit. He was happy.
Ruby stepped up to the screen and looked at the man who had tormented her for weeks. Longer even, because she could remember her time in the loop. She didn’t understand why, but she was always amongst the first to wake up every morning. She saw through the lies he was spreading, saw past the illusions and recognised something was wrong. Every morning she told her mum about this. And every time her mum turned her in and she was forced on the run. Over and over, she was hunted and scared and lost and alone. And every day she looked for the Doctor, until she found him and he didn’t recognise her. Her best friend didn’t know who she was, which hurt more than anything else. More than her mum turning on her, abandoning her. She was a foundling and she was betrayed by everyone she loved. All because of Conrad.
And now he got his happily ever after while the rest of the world forgot. He got to stay while others were lost.
Moments earlier she watched a child fade away. Poppy had been right there in the Tardis with them. The Doctor and Belinda, her parents, created by the wish in Conrad’s world. Possibly the only good thing to come out of that wish. They went through such pains to create a zero room that would protect her when the wish collapsed. And she could still recall the look of joy on the Doctor’s face when they opened the vault and Belinda carried Poppy out with her. They had won. Everyone had won. But then Ruby got to watch as the Doctor and Belinda started discussing the changes they’d need to make to the Tardis to make it childproof. She watched the coat they were folding shrink down until it vanished into nothing, the Doctor’s conversation with Belinda shifting effortlessly into a seamless debate on where to go next. Ruby turned around and suddenly Poppy was gone, the crib empty. When she brought this to her parent’s attention, they both laughed. Neither of them knew who she was talking about. In fact Belinda was offended she was infer she had a daughter. Even the Doctor told her she was mistaken, that anything to do with the wish was gone. She tried to insist, pointing to the crib only to find that too had vanished. She asked the team when she got to Unit, but nobody remembered Poppy either. Not Susan Triad, who had built the Zero Room to save her. Not even Anita, who left for the Time Hotel soon after. They all looked at her like she was crazy. But she wasn’t. She remembered her. Just as she remembered Conrad’s true history.
She stood alone in the tower, watching the man on the screen living the life he had always wanted. The life she gave him. She realised her wish was the only wish to have survived. She wished for him to be happy, so he was. She gave him the perfect life while they all were left behind. And she was the only one to remember while everyone else forgot. “The gods play tricks” she muttered under her breath, finally understanding what the Doctor had meant when he said that to her. The Pantheon was indeed cruel. The Earth might’ve been saved and Reality spared, but in the end they were the ones to lose.
**
The Tardis materialised in the same garden Belinda had been abducted from the day before. There was still a hole in the wall and scorch marks on the grass. Belinda stepped out and glanced at the spot where the robot had disintegrated a cat in front of her, wincing at the memory. Hard to believe this had happened twenty four hours ago when from her perspective it had been weeks.
She looked up at the share house and sighed. “I should probably call my mum” she thought. “Does she even know I’ve been gone?”
“I don’t know” the Doctor said, walking out in his long coat behind her. He looked around at the mess the robots from the planet Belinda Chandra had left, promising to call Unit to ask Kate if she can send a clean-up crew to fix this place for her. He waited by the blue box for Belinda to pause at the door before telling her “you could come with me. Continue travelling. Admit it, you had fun” he grinned.
She looked back, unable to hide her grin. But after a moment of consideration she shook her head. “I can’t. I’ve got work…today” she said, looking at her watch. “Oh, I am so late for my shift. And I’m going to have to talk to my roommates…I really don’t want to have to move out.”
“Or you could come with me” he suggested.
She laughed. He was persistent, she had to admit that. She was tempted too. But she shook her head again. “No offense Doctor, but…I’m exhausted. Travelling with you is exhausting. Between the monsters and the aliens and the space travel, time travel, living cartoons, Graham Norton…” she shook her head. “Don’t you ever slow down and take a breath?”
He shrugged. “Where would be the fun in that? And there’s so much to see” he grinned.
“I have a life here” she explained. “I can’t just drop everything. I have a job. I have responsibilities.”
“I could get you another job” he argued. “I’m sure Kate will have a vacancy. She’s always looking for people with experience. Flexible hours. Good pay rise.”
She laughed. “Yeah right.”
“I’m serious Belinda” he said. “Come with me. We can see the stars, explore new worlds. There’s so much to see.”
She stared back at him, a warm smile on her face when she stepped forward. She gazed into those charming eyes before placing a hand on his chest. “I could’ve died. I almost died so many times. And all I could think about is my family, who would never know what happened. Travelling with you is…exhilarating. But it’s also dangerous. I was right the first time. You are dangerous. But you are also wonderful” she said, caressing his cheek. “But I can’t keep up with you. I need to slow down. I need time to breathe. And so do you, I think.”
He stared back at her, hearing her words. He was disappointed, but not surprised. He smiled, kissing the back of her hand.
“This isn’t goodbye” she told him with a smirk. “I’m sure we’ll see each other again.”
“Maybe I’ll pop in and see you at work” he smirked. “I am a Doctor, after all.”
She shrugged, smiling. She stepped away, turning towards her house. She turned back just as she crossed the hole, catching him before he stepped into his box. “Perhaps your friend needs a break too” she suggested.
“You mean Ruby?”
“Yeah. I mean, the way she kept going on about us having a daughter. As if that would ever happen” she scoffed jokingly. “Maybe she needs a friend more than me.”
“Maybe” he agreed, waving her farewell.
He waited for her to step into the kitchen before walking into the Tardis, striding to the console and pulling the lever. The engines came to life and to take a moment to breathe, his smile fading as sadness crossed his face. He grieved another loss before locking it away, shoving the emotion back and contemplating what Belinda had suggested. Slow down, take a breath. That was never his style. But if Belinda needed time, he could give it to her.
In the meantime, he did have other friends to check in on.
**
He parked his Tardis outside on the street and stepped out into Notting Hill, crossing the road towards the building where the Sunday’s lived. He passed a police tape draped across the gate next door, glancing up to the open door of the previous residence of Mrs Flood. No idea where the Rani had disappeared to, but he had a feeling they’ll see her again someday.
He climbed the stairs to the top floor and knocked on the door, waiting for Carla to open it pressing a finger to her lips. “I just got Joseph to sleep” she whispered, stepping out to close the door behind her.
He stepped back and lowered his voice. “I was here to see Ruby” he told her.
“She went out an hour ago” she told him. She looked worried. He asked her what was wrong and she explained. “She’s been quiet all night. This morning she barely ate. She looked distracted, haunted. I’ve never seen her like that. I asked her what was the mattered, but she just said that every good deed comes at a cost. I’m worried for her. First there was what happened with her birth father, then Conrad, now this…whatever it was. She looks like she’s carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. I want to help carry the burden, but I can’t if she won’t talk to me.”
“Maybe I can get through to her” he said. “Any idea where I might find her?”
Carla wasn’t sure, but there was a club she would often visit with her friends and band mates. One of those inclusive bars, she said. The Doctor recalled the club he first saw Ruby performing at and took his chances, piloting the ship to an alley outside.
He found the side door open, surprised it was open this early. He passed the owner inside, asking after her. The woman knew Ruby it turned out, pointed to a quiet corner of the bar. She had arrived an hour ago and ordered one drink. Been sitting there ever since. He stepped inside and found she was the only customer this early, the rest of the bar empty. He approached cautiously when he thought he heard music, rounding a pillar to see the young blonde woman sitting at a table staring into her drink, which hadn’t been touched. He watched her finger trace around the rim while snow drifted down around her. The music he was hearing was a Christmas song. The one that had been playing the night she was left at the church on Ruby Road.
She heard the floorboard creak when he stepped closer, her head snapping up to see him. The snow instantly dissolved and the music stopped. She didn’t seem to have registered it. “Oh, hey” she said sullenly.
“Mind if I sit down” he asked her. She shrugged, gesturing to the chair opposite her. He took a seat and looked at her over the table. She wasn’t her upbeat self. She looked almost depressed. “Your mum is worried about you” he told her.
“I didn’t want her to worry” she said, looking down at her drink. He waited to see if she was going to drink it, but she ended up pushing it away. “I don’t know why I bothered coming here. I needed to think.”
“What about” he asked.
“I don’t know. Karma. Fate. Consequences. I mean, we saved the world right? From Conrad. From Mrs Flood… How could she have been living next door all this time and we not know who she was?”
“You had no way of knowing” he told her. “The Rani is a master of disguise and duplicity. Even I didn’t realise who she was.”
“You said she got away” she said. “Mrs Flood.”
He nodded. The Rani had bigenerated into two versions of herself. One had been eaten by Omega. The other had slipped away using a time ring.
She nodded. “They got away with it in the end” she muttered. “She escapes. Conrad survives and gets to live his life. What about the rest of us? What about Poppy, your daughter…”
“Ruby” he said, gently interrupting her.
She stopped, but she couldn’t shake her haunted look. She lifted her head and stared at the Time Lord. “Why am I the only one who remembers her” she asked. “Why does Conrad get to keep his wish? My wish for him? I thought you had removed them all?”
“I don’t know” he said softly. “But I know what it’s like to…to feel like the only survivor. The only one who remembers the world before? It’s a lonely place.”
She nodded. Lonely was the word. “Is it true what the Rani said? What you said? About not being able to have children?”
He hesitated, leaning against the table. He met her gaze, quietly exhaling. “My people, the Time Lords, they didn’t just die out. They were massacred by a madman. A man who carried so much hate inside of him. In a way it was because of me that they died. I never knew exactly what happened. I wasn’t there when the genetic bomb was detonated.”
Ruby narrowed her eyes. “So, you weren’t affected by the explosion?”
He shook his head. “Biologically I wasn’t exposed. But I can’t have children. I wasn’t lying about that. If there was a daughter in that other world you remember, she was just a wish.”
“Doesn’t mean she was any less real” she argued.
“Maybe not. But that world is gone. So are the Time Lords. I know it’s hard. Surviving is hard. But you don’t have to do it alone” he told her, reaching over to squeeze her arm.
She looked up, comforted by his presence. She inhaled quietly, wiping a tear from her face. She looked at her drink and finally took a sip, looking like she had taken that weight from her shoulders. She exhaled and opened her eyes. “Where’s Belinda” she asked curiously.
“She wanted to go home” he answered. “Needed time to breathe.”
“I know that feeling” she said contemplatively.
The Doctor tilted his head. “Carla mentioned your dad. Last I heard you were about to go meet him. How did it go?”
Her expression soured and he got the distinct impression it didn’t go well. He raised an eyebrow but her face said she wasn’t ready to talk about it. So he didn’t push. “So it’s just you alone again” she asked. He nodded. “You shouldn’t be alone” she said quietly.
He looked at her and quietly said “neither should you.”
She met his gaze and smirked. “Offering to buy me a drink Doctor?”
He laughed. “He held up his psychic paper again. “Gin and tonic division, remember.”
“I do” she chuckled, thinking back to their first meeting. It seemed so strange yet so innocent at the time. And so long ago. Life felt simpler then.
He folded the paper away and looked around the empty club. He spied the stage where the speakers were set up, a turntable for the DJ and the disco ball was up. He slipped his hand into his pocket and brought out his sonic screwdriver. With a push of the button the lights dimmed and the dance floor was illuminated. Ruby lifted her head when music started playing, looking to the Doctor who stood up to remove his coat. “How about something better than a drink” he said, offering his hand.
She looked at him, glancing at his open palm, and smiled. She accepted his offer and walked with him onto the dance floor, swaying to the hip hop music that was playing. The Doctor danced with absolute abandon and coaxed Ruby into letting it go on the dance floor too, the pair of friends alone to let themselves go and enjoy the moment together.
They danced for a long time. So long Ruby lost track of time. When she stumbled out into the alley with her best friend, she felt much better and more relaxed than she had that morning. She accepted there were things she couldn’t control or change. All they could do was take the wins and learn from their losses. She sent a text to her mum to say she was okay before walking the Doctor back to his Tardis. He turned to her, an invitation in his eyes. She considered it. Perhaps some space was what she needed. Space away from the trauma of Conrad and everything. “Neither of us should be alone, right” she whispered.
“You’re never alone” he told her. “You have people who love you.”
“So do you” she said, wrapping her arms around him. He hugged her tightly, embracing the young woman warmly. Before she stepped inside, she looked him in the eye. “Doctor, just tell me again. Swear to me you don’t remember Poppy.”
He looked deep into her eyes, staring affectionately and patiently, whilst hiding the despair and grief he was holding back each time Ruby said Poppy’s name. “I don’t remember her” he lied, knowing it was better if he chose to forget.
She believed him, taking a deep breath, and then nodding sadly. She let it go, stepping into the Tardis putting the little girl out of her mind. The Doctor took a final moment to grieve, hiding the tears which he wiped from his face before putting on a smile and following her into the ship.
The Tardis disappeared moments later, promising a new adventure.