Work Text:
Having an impossibly fast metabolism made binge eating your feelings feel not as satisfying. Then again, no amount of junk food could ever replace a real actual person at your side. You glanced over at Cisco; okay it couldn’t replace Barry. But at least Cisco was willing to pig out on Thai food and ice cream with you.
“Oh no, don’t look at me like that,” Cisco said, shoving another chop stick full of pad thai into his mouth. He then pointed the sticks at you. “I didn’t tell you to go out with Officer Hot Stuff.”
You snorted a laugh. “You call him that?”
“Everyone calls him that.” Cisco shrugs and grins at you.
Your laughter died down and the image of Jon’s hurt face hit you. You didn’t have to feel guilty, but apparently your mind had other plans. It was a bad habit, a bad people pleasing habit you had. Still, you hoped things weren’t too awkward at the station with him and Barry...at least he didn’t know it was Barry you liked.
You stood from you swivel chair and stretched your arms over your head. With a groan you said, “I think I need to run off that cake from earlier.”
Cisco shook his head. “I don’t get why you prefer to eat and then run.”
“It’s part of being a speedster.” You shrugged at him, sending him a reassuring smile that you were fine. You were still beating up bad guys and going about your usual routine, it was just less Barry-centric. You started in a run, putting on your uniform and leaving Cisco with nothing more than a sudden breeze and napkins all over the lab.
Outside you found the fresh night air did make you feel better. Moving by the water you found the salty air was just what you needed to start to clear your mind. Bright stars overhead reflected off the water, waves crashed quietly against the shore. You inhaled deeply, moving onto the boardwalk until you reached the end and had to stop. You were alone there, with your thoughts getting a little more positive.
In a way you felt silly for being so worried about Barry’s feelings for you. He was just one person in the world, and it wasn’t like he hated you. He went out of his way to help you; you should be grateful. And you were, truly grateful. As you watched the moon slowly raise you found your mind began to grow muddy again. Those good vibes you’d gotten from watching B movies with Cisco and a quick run were dying down fast, so you turned and darted back down the boardwalk.
But you stopped on the beach, looking down at the dark water. Apparently you could run across it, according to what Caitlin had told you. Barry had done it more than once, and he claimed it was easy--just keep running. It wasn’t that you couldn’t swim or had an aversion to water, but something about running across it made you feel vulnerable. It wasn’t a solid surface and one wrong move could make you sink. You also didn’t know how the electricity generated by your running would affect the water and anything that might be in it. You were planning on asking Barry to run with you across it sometime. You were planning on not doing it alone as you had everything else.
Tonight you were feeling reckless, though. You were still feeling unneeded, unwanted. So you took the thought of doing things with a partner and threw it away. You ran a half mile back to give yourself time to build some speed and then started at the water.
It felt exhilarating to feel the softness of the water beneath your feet. You laughed as you went in all directions, creating stars and circles in the splash that came from your impact. You let the spray hit your face, soak you from head to toe only to have it roll off a split second later. It was going great, and you actually forgot why you wanted to do this with someone else.
Until you took a turn too sharply and tripped.
It wasn’t the first time you tripped on your own two feet. People did it all the time--it was part of being human. Having superspeed didn’t change that; you were still a little clumsy. Now it just resulted in a few more scrapes and crashes.
But crashing into the ocean was very different than crashing into pavement. You could usually catch yourself on land, but there was nothing to grab onto here, nothing to stop from plunging into the deep. Water surrounded you as you let out shout. Seeing the bubbles that escaped your lungs only made you panic more.
You swung your arms around in an attempt to start swimming but it only seemed to propel you further down. You couldn’t tell which way was up anymore, couldn’t figure out how to move your body to make it back to safety. Your lungs were feeling tighter with each passing second, and you weren’t sure how much time had actually passed. Were you moving at regular or superspeed? Was that little spark of light in your head or the stars you’d been admiring earlier?
Neither, you realized, as two arms hooked beneath your own and pulled you up.
One moment you were inhaling water, the next it was air. You sputtered and coughed up the salty water, scrambling to find your balance.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” a voice said. Barry. Of course it was Barry. You blinked the water from your eyes, letting it fall off your lashes and onto your cheeks. You coughed more, sending the last of the water from your lungs and into the ocean. “I got you.”
You managed to get your bearing and float, smoothly moving your legs while your arms rested on Barry’s shoulders. Chest to chest, hip to hip. He kept his arms around you, his hands on the small of your back. You could feel the movement of his own legs in the water.
Your eyes met with his, your mouth slightly agape. There were no words you could think of at that moment, nothing to vocalize your thoughts. Barry reached up with one hand and pressed his thumb against your cheek, brushing it back. “Eyelash. Are you okay?” His hand stayed on the side of your face.
You nodded. “I just wanted to see if I could do it.”
“You can run faster than me, of course you can,” he said. You kind of hated that there was no doubt in his voice, as if you failing was the most ridiculous thing ever.
You looked around at the water that surrounded you. Barry added, “You just got distracted again, that’s all.” You were always distracted, always too lost in your head to get things right.
You nodded again. “What are you doing here?”
“Cisco said you went running, thought you might want company,” Barry answered. You wanted to take a step back from him, but you thought you might sink without him. Your hands were threatening to vibrate with the nervous energy you were getting hit then. Sensing that, Barry suggested, “Let’s get back to shore.”
Neither of you wasted time getting to the beach, though you didn’t make a game of it as you normally would. Barry took your slower pace, and he didn’t object when you just sat down in the sand. There was nobody around so you peeled your own mask back and looked out over the water, watching the city lights glitter along the waves.
You pulled your knees towards your chest, wrapping your arms around your legs. There was a storm in your body, a tug of war between your mind and your heart about what to do. You didn’t want to keep going like this, not knowing if you were more a burden to Barry than a friend. You shove your legs out straight, pushing the sand aside as you turn to him. “I don’t want to date someone you work with.”
Okay, not what you meant to say, but it was a start.
“All right,” Barry said, watching you. He pulled his own mask back, displaying his messy wet hair.
“Good.” Now what? “I don’t want to date anyone you work with because…”
BARRY’S POV
This was it, the moment Barry didn’t want. After he’d watched you smiling as you ran across the water, darting back and forth in the spray, he wanted to join you. He wanted things to go back to what you’d had before he realized his feelings for you, before he told Jon that there was nothing between you. Back to a time when you would chase each other around Central City, always just out of reach but still right there.
But now he was staring at you, at your pained expression as you tried to find a way to tell him you didn’t want to be with anyone. He didn’t blame you; everyone had a time in their life when they wanted to focus on themselves rather than a relationship. And gaining superspeed was a good reason to want to work on yourself. But it hurt to look at you, at the pain he knew he caused.
“I don’t want to date anyone you work with because…” you began, “I…”
Barry swallowed audibly, trying to resist the urge to run. He had to swallow the confession that was on the tip of his tongue. The instinct to grab you and press his lips to yours. It was overwhelming, daunting, even.
YOUR POV
“I really like you Barry,” you said. You ended your sentence there, waiting for him to respond. It felt like an eternity between when the words left your mouth to when he leaned over and held your face in his hands. His lips touched yours, salty and soft.
The sand on his fingertips dug into your skin, scratching at the surface but you didn’t care. You barely noticed it, intoxicated by the sight of Barry so close. Admittedly you kept your eyes open longer than you should have, but once your brain was able to catch up you shut them, eyelashes brushing your cheeks. You leaned into the kiss, an awkward angle that caused pressure on the left side of your hips. Getting carried away you kept leaning over until you nearly fell on top of Barry, the only thing holding you up were his hands. He pulled away and you caught yourself, pressing your hands into the sand.
He grinned at you before you repositioned yourself closer to him and began another kiss, this one deeper. His tongue licked at your bottom lip and you opened your mouth to allow access.
Once again you didn’t know how much time had passed. Sometimes it was hard to tell when you were moving faster than normal, but it felt so normal now. So right.
You each pulled away, keeping your foreheads touching. Barry was first to break the silence, his thumbs rubbing against your cheeks. “I thought that was going to go in a very different direction.”
You laughed. “Me too.”