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The morning light filtered through the edges of the school windows, dust motes drifting lazily in the air like tiny, drifting spirits. Gundham Tanaka stood in his usual dramatic stance beside the biology lab desk, scarf perfectly arranged, eyes half-lidded as if he were communing with unseen realms.
On the desk, nestled in a small cushioned carrier, sat the Dark Devas of Destruction.
“Behold,” Gundham declared loudly, “the sacred equilibrium of chaos and comfort. The Devas require their morning inspection lest entropy consume their tiny souls.”
Right on cue, Kisaragi, the smallest of the hamsters, poked its nose out.
Meanwhile, across the room, Kazuichi Souda was very much not paying attention to entropy.
He was paying attention to Kisaragi.
“Aww, dude, look at him!” Kazuichi cooed, leaning in far too close for Gundham’s comfort. “He’s like… aggressively adorable.”
Before Gundham could issue a warning from the dark realms of propriety, Kazuichi gently tapped the side of the carrier and, emboldened by affection and poor impulse control, leaned in to give Kisaragi a light peck on the cheek.
“MWAH. There you go, little guy.”
Silence fell.
Even the Devas seemed to pause.
Gundham froze.
Something in the air shifted. The temperature dropped imperceptibly. A shadow - no, an aura - seemed to curl around him.
“…You have committed an act,” Gundham said slowly, voice dangerously calm, “that treads upon forbidden territory.”
Kazuichi blinked. “Uh… what?”
Gundham’s scarf fluttered despite the lack of wind. “You have bestowed affection upon a creature sworn under my covenant. Without ritual. Without summoning rights. Without consulting the Dark Lord of Beasts' Realms.”
Kazuichi straightened, suddenly nervous. “It was just a little peck on the cheek! He looked like he liked it!”
From the carrier, Kisaragi happily wiggled, clearly unbothered and possibly pleased.
That did not help Gundham’s case.
“It is not the act,” Gundham continued, voice tightening with something suspiciously close to betrayal. “It is the intent. The intimacy. The casual familiarity.”
Kazuichi scratched his head. “Dude… it’s a hamster.”
A pause.
A very loaded pause.
Gundham turned his head slightly, just enough for Kazuichi to see the faintest glint of something wounded beneath his usual theatrics.
Gundham stepped forward, scarf fluttering dramatically even though there was no wind. “Do not trivialize this. You have bestowed upon a Deva a gesture that should only be reserved for-”
He stopped.
The room went quiet.
Kazuichi tilted his head. “Reserved for what?”
Gundham’s eyes flicked away for half a second.
“…Certain entities.”
The word hung in the air like a summoned spirit.
"Oh. Ohh."
Kazuichi grinned,
"Are you, like, jealous?"
Gundham did not answer immediately. Instead, he adjusted his scarf with exaggerated precision. “Jealousy is a crude term for the disturbance of cosmic balance I am currently experiencing.”
“That’s jealousy.”
“It is a recalibration of emotional alignment.”
“That’s still jealousy.”
Gundham clicked his tongue, looking away. “The Dark Devas are my sworn companions. They recognize my authority. My bond with them is forged through sacred ritual, midnight feedings, and countless whispered incantations.”
Kazuichi stared at him for a moment, then slowly looked down at Kisaragi.
“Dude… I just gave him a kiss.”
“WITHOUT AUTHORIZATION.”
There it was again. The crack in Gundham’s voice.
Kazuichi paused. Then, very carefully, he picked up Kisaragi again. The hamster chirped softly, utterly fearless.
“…Okay,” Kazuichi said, suddenly softer. “Then I guess I gotta do it properly.”
Gundham blinked. “Properly?”
Kazuichi took a deep breath, as if preparing for something extremely serious. Then he leaned in - not to the hamster this time, but slightly toward Gundham’s direction.
Gundham stiffened.
Kazuichi gently pressed a quick, awkward peck to Gundham’s cheek.
It lasted half a second.
Then Kazuichi immediately pulled back, bright red. “There. Uh. Equal rights or whatever.”
Silence.
The Devas stared.
The cosmos held its breath.
Gundham did not move.
Then, slowly, very slowly, he raised a hand to his cheek where the kiss had landed.
“…Hah,” he murmured.
Kazuichi swallowed. “Okay, so, uh, am I gonna get cursed or - ”
“No curse,” Gundham interrupted.
A pause.
“…Merely consequences.”
Kazuichi tensed. “That sounds worse.”
But Gundham only stepped forward, reaching past him - not for punishment, but to gently adjust Kisaragi back into the carrier.
Then, almost casually, he added, “If you intend to distribute such… affections… you must do so with proper ritual.”
Kazuichi blinked. “So I *can* do it again?”
Gundham glanced at him from the corner of his eye. “You will require supervision.”
A beat.
Then Kazuichi grinned. “Yeah, okay. I can work with that.”
From the carrier, Kisaragi squeaked happily.
And Gundham, despite himself, allowed the faintest smile to surface - like a secret spell only Kazuichi had managed to break through.