Work Text:
Hiroaki was currently sketching in his room, endless papers going to waste.
He was stuck. Art block has him in a clutch as he scribbles various different designs with his pencil. No new ideas were coming to him. It was either lame, repetitive or not fitting to his taste.
He sets down his pencil with a sigh as he rests his head in his hands. This was frustrating for him. There were times when he struggled, but nothing like this.
Ring ring!
Hiroaki almost falls out of his seat at the sound of the phone, letting out a small squeal. He wasn't expecting anymore calls today.
He picks up his phone: Seiko’s name pops up.
It was probably nothing important, Hiroaki thought. Probably something she forgot to mention at yesterdays briefing or whatever.
He picks up, being the first one to speak.
"Hello?"
There were a few seconds of silence before she spoke, Hiroaki fidgeted with his pencil as he waited. When Seiko’s voice came out on the other side, it sounded slightly more hesitant than usual.
"Uhm- yes. Hello, Nakamigawa. Sorry for calling on such short notice. I know this is your off day but- I just need to discuss something with you. It's quite important. Is 4:00pm okay?"
Something important? What does that even mean? He leaned back on his chair.
"Well uhm- yeah. 4:00pm is alright."
"Okay, good. I'll send you the location. Is that fine?"
"Yeah, no yeah. That's good."
"Sure. I'll be expecting you, then."
"Okay. Uhm, bye Seiko."
The call cuts off as Hiroaki sets his phone down. He turns his head to the clock on the wall. 4:00pm. That's in an hour.
He needs to get ready.
-
Hiroaki parks his car in a vacant spot and exits. He knows it’ll probably be nothing to worry about, though he fumbles with his keys for a good few minutes before locking his car.
He wonders inside the large library and searches around for Seiko. She's sitting at the small, round table near the back, his designated chair tucked in opposite her.
Hiroaki makes his way over, sitting down into the chair as all of the silver on his belt jingled as it hit the wood. He rested his chin in his hands.
"So, what did you need me here for?"
That's strange. Seiko almost looks kind of... nervous? Like she's bracing herself for something.
She takes a deep breath of air before talking, "Do you remember that collaboration you did a few months ago?"
Hiroaki had recently designed for pretty a big brand situated in Tokyo. At first, he was completely against the whole idea of working with a company other than his own. First of all, he hated designing for brands that weren't his. He found it... distasteful. Other brands could just use his talent and make it rain money from his very own effort. Second, its womenswear, which is completely out of his line of work.
Yet, Seiko kept insisting that he should take this offer. That it would be beneficial for his reputation and what-not. So he did it.
But that was quite a while ago.
Why would she be suddenly bringing it up now?
"I mean, yeah? What about it?" Hiroaki finally responded.
"Well... the company reached out again. And they have another offer."
Hiroaki scoffs at that, "Seiko. You said I wouldn't do any more collaborations for at least another year. You promised!"
Seiko looks down at her coffee, "It's not that."
Hiroaki's suddenly confused, "What do you mean?"
Seiko takes another deep breath, pushing the coffee aside and leaning forwards:
"They... want you as a model. Not a designer."
Hiroaki blinked.
"Excuse me?"
Seiko stays silent.
"Y-You want me to WHAT?!" Hiroaki yelled, half laughing in disbelief.
Seiko stares out of the window, avoiding all eye contact. He started to slowly realise this wasn’t a joke.
"Nononono. You could make me do anything. Anything. But not this, Seiko. Not this."
"Nakami-"
"I'M A DESIGNER! I'm. A. Designer. Not a model. What do you want me to do with this?! I have a face in this industry. I'm not just some underground artist. They'll recognise me, Seiko. Do you know how that's gonna look? Me posing up all cute in some shitty womenswear-
"Quiet down Nakamigawa- we’re in a library!” Seiko demanded, hissing through her gritted teeth. She sighed and took another sip of her coffee before looking back to Hiroaki.
“I need you to listen to me, Nakamigawa."
"Fine! I'm listening to whatever persuasive speech you're going to throw at me. Because I'm telling you now. I'm not doing it."
"..."
"Well?" He crossed his arms, watching as Seiko tapped her fingernails against her cup.
"Nakamigawa. You know I wouldn't want you to do anything you don't want, right?” She picked her cup up by the sides, waving it around in the air as she spoke. “In this industry, money and status is obviously important, but so is enjoyment. I just want you to understand how important this is for you. If you don't want to do it, that's fine. Do know that I don't want to pressure you into this. I'm just asking you to consider this. Even just a bit. What do you say?"
Consider. That's not such a strong word. He still has time to think.
In another world, Hiroaki would've declined by now. He always knows what he wants and knows what he can and can't do. If you told him about this even a few days ago, he wouldn't of even thought about it. Though deep down, he feels as if he can't disappoint Seiko, who is now staring straight back into his eyes. She tries so, so hard to put up with him. He's surprised she hasn't resigned yet. The least he can do is just consider.
"...okay. I'll- I'll consider."
Seiko smiles, "Thank you. Oh and, Nakamigawa?"
"Yeah?"
Seiko takes yet another sip of her coffee, "For your shoot, you're going to model in heels."
-
This is incredibly stupid. Yet somehow, he ended up here of all places. Stupid Shigeki's house.
He seriously can't believe any of this. What other choice does he have, though?
Hiroaki braces himself and knocks thrice on the door. He hears the footsteps just on the other side, and the door opens, revealing... Hayashi?
Hayashi leans against the doorframe, a perplexed look on her face, "Nagawa? What are you doing here?"
"Wh- what the hell are you doing here?!" He questions.
"What? I live here. Why the hell wouldn't I be at my own house?" She replies blankly.
Hiroaki is taken aback, to say the least.
"W- well, none of your damn business!"
"None of my business? This is my own damn house, Nagawa. I think I should at least know your reason for being here."
Hiroaki avoids all eye contact. Jesus, did this really have to be so awkward?
"I'm... I came here to see-"
"Nakamigawa?"
Yanagi comes up from behind Hayashi, his hair slightly damp and... only merely a towel around his waist.
"Wh- G-GOD! Shigeki, p-put some clothes on!" Hiroaki yelled, dramatically covering his eyes
Hayashi looks behind her, "He's right, Shige. Stop standing naked in the doorway."
"Wh- Mai!"
Christ, he already regrets coming here in the first place.
Hayashi stands in the way of Yanagi, covering the sight of him with her body, "Yeah, maybe don't look at that. Well?"
Hiroaki clears his throat, "I... came here to see Shigeki."
Hayashi briefly processes the request and stands out of the way of the door, revealing Yanagi yet again. "Welcome in. He's all yours."
Hiroaki looks in the other direction, slight embarrassment washing over him, "Do I seriously have to look at him?"
Yanagi sighs, "You don't have to act so disgusted about it. I'll get changed then, if you so wish."
"Phew."
"Alright." Yanagi steps forward and reaches up to kiss Hayashi, only just a soft peck on the lips, "I'll see you later, okay?"
Hayashi laughs, an almost soft giggle coming out of her, "Go get changed already."
Yanagi walks off to his bedroom, "I'll miss you, my lady!"
Hiroaki steps into the house, physically recoiling as Hayashi closing the door behind him, "Gross."
"Not like you and Ojima are any better."
"J- Just shut up!"
"Alright well, make yourself at home or whatever."
Hayashi then leaves, clearly uninterested in conversing with Hiroaki any further.
After Hayashi leaves, Hiroaki kind of just... stands there. He's never actually been to Yanagi's house after he moved. Not like he often visited his home prior to the move, anyway. If he did, it would be a case of Ojima dragging him there. Furthermore, he's never had news of Hayashi living here, either. Slightly embarrassing for questioning her for being in her own house.
He isn't sure what to do with himself, really. Just before he can do anything else, Yanagi walks back into the room (fully clothed this time).
Hiroaki scoffs, "Finally. Took you long enough." He says as if he had anything better to do.
Yanagi frowns, "I'll have you know I take pride in my appearance."
"Well at least you aren't naked this time." Hiroaki grinds smugly before rolling his eyes.
Yanagi sighs, seating himself on his sofa, "Whatever it is you want, please be quick. My plans were to spend my day with Mai on my only day off and you're currently interrupting."
"Okay. Well uhm, I'll try to be quick I guess." Hiroaki takes a seat opposite Yanagi on a vacant chair.
"Yeah?"
"Uhm, yeah. It's about.. my work."
"Your work? You mean your job?"
"Yeah well, I- I got an offer."
"An offer?" Yanagi echoes back.
"To model."
"To... model?"
"Yeah."
"Okay... what seems to be the problem, then?"
"Oh, well I'm SO glad you asked, Shigeki. Because the PROBLEM is-" Hiroaki takes a deep breath, "the problem is that I've never done this before. I- I mean, I've known many models and was even friends with some, but like- it's not as if I've ever been interested in that shit! How the hell am I supposed to manage this? A-and womenswear? Womenswear? On me?! What am I meant to do about that, huh Shigeki?!"
Yanagi leans forward, seemingly in thought, "I see. So you're nervous stepping into a field of work you've never done before?"
Hiroaki recoils, "I- well- i-it's not that I'd do bad or something like that. I mean, I guess it's just..."
Yanagi meets his gaze, "You don't want to mess up."
"I... well... yeah." Hiroaki pauses for a moment and sighs, recollecting his thoughts, "I just... I don't know what to do."
Yanagi thinks for a moment, "Have you come to anyone else about this yet?"
Hiroaki sighs, "Just you."
"Not even Ojima?"
"He's- he's busy enough as it is. I don't want to pile all of my shit on top of that."
"Okay well, if you want my opinion on this... your profession is creative based, right? So you should know that for your kind of job, not only do you need talent, you need to have passion with that, correct?"
"I- yeah."
"Alright, so think about this: is it your lack of enjoyment for this field of work that's stopping you, or is it everyone else?"
"What... do you mean?"
"Well, is it the opinions of others that you allow to influence you?"
Hiroaki blinked, "I- I don't allow people to influence me! Their opinions don't matter! I'm..."
Yanagi looks at Hiroaki, solace in his eyes, "Nakamigawa. I think you need to think about yourself for once. I'm not telling you to rip yourself out of your comfort zone, but if you don't do it now, you wont do it ever."
Silence envelopes the room for a few moments. There were already rumours slithering around on the internet about him. There was always those few who looked at the smaller details. Considering that, those people wouldn't just let this pass and move on. It would go around for weeks. Months, even. It was extremely risky for his image.
But Yanagi's words made him think. He shouldn't have to constantly walk on eggshells just so people would like him. He's already had a taste of how shit that is.
Hiroaki speaks up, breaking the silence, "What is there to do then, Shigeki?"
Yanagi leans back in his chair, “Well, I don't know how much of my advice really means anything to you, so I can't really say much on this matter. But, I will say this: I believe you should be able to do what you like without caring about what others think. I do what I do because I'm truly passionate about it. I make the decisions I make because I believe that's what's right. I want you to be brave, Nakamigawa. That's what I think you should do."
Hiroaki sits there for a moment, thinking about his words. As much as he thinks Yanagi's princely words hold no credibility, his advice didn't seem empty at all. In fact, it made him think more deeply on this matter. His words did hold some point in them, maybe he was right: Hiroaki had been letting himself go just for the sake of his image.
Hiroaki takes a shaky breath, “It's just- hard, Shigeki. Sometimes it feels like I don't have control over my damn self anymore. A- and it hurts." He cradled his head in his hands.
"I know. And I'm sorry you have to constantly worry about this. But don't forget: you have people who care about you. People who you can lean on when you need it. You're not in this on your own, okay? Remember that."
Air seems to deplete from Hiroaki's lungs. Had he been holding his breath this whole time? He lifts his head to make eye contact with Yanagi. There, he sees someone he cares about. Despite how infuriating Yanagi could be, he still cared about him. He knew, even if he wanted to deny it so much, that he could rely on him to talk about his bullshit. Hiroaki suddenly felt calmer.
"O... okay." Hiroaki spoke up, his voice hoarse.
"Yeah?" Yanagi replies.
"Yeah." Hiroaki feels himself relax, like a huge weight just fell off his back. He felt like he didn't have to shoulder anything on his own anymore. Yanagi's words had opened up a clean page for him. An opportunity to do what he wanted. He pulled at his shirt collar.
Hiroaki elevates himself from the chair, "Okay. I-I think I'll go now."
Yanagi also stands up, "O-oh uhm- right. Tell Ojima I said hello for me.” He walks over to go open the door.
"I will."
"Alright. Good luck. And tell me how it goes, okay?"
"O-okay."
Hiroaki leaves Yanagi's house, getting a goodbye from Hayashi in the process.
The door closes behind Hiroaki as he takes out his phone and clicks one of his contacts.
The ringing echoes throughout the neighbourhood until it comes to a sudden halt.
"Hello? Uhm, yeah. Seiko, I think I have an answer for you.
-
Hiroaki wasn't someone who got nervous often. He usually radiated confidence and was always almost entirely sure in everything he did. Though now, he could feel the unfamiliar jitter in his body. The weight of a new experience was just so heavy on his shoulders: he felt like he couldn't mess up now.
But he just couldn't help that wave of exhilaration he felt when he saw the very clothes he designed. Being able to show off his own creations like this almost made him feel kind of excited. Not that he didn't do that already, but this case was different. He was experimenting with such a vulnerable method such as modelling; more importantly, he was going to be doing that in womenswear.
This generation was more progressive, one could argue. However, Hiroaki had an image and persona to maintain. And whatever choices he was making right now didn't seem to match that.
Hiroaki didn't like being vulnerable. He's seen how dangerous online fans can be and how one mistake could end your career. But Yanagi's words gave him light: they gave him closure.
So… fuck it then.
-
Hiroaki had a great time, actually. The adrenaline numbed out most of his anxiety and pulled him through the shoot. Yanagi and Hayashi were there to watch (he had no idea how they even got in). He predicts that Yanagi found out about his shoot date and dragged Hayashi here to cheer him on or something. Not that he knows, but he had an intuitive feeling.
And the clothes had made Hiroaki feel some sort of freedom. He felt like a small part of himself wasn't locked away anymore. That he finally gets the expression that he deserves.
Hiroaki had often discredited models. Partially due to the fact that all his past friends that were models rode on their parent's money. In conclusion, he may have underestimated them. Modelling isn't as easy as he imagined it to be.
But he had fun. The most fun he had experienced in a while.
-
Hiroaki was ecstatic when he saw the photographs. Not only did the clothes he made look good, he also looked exceptionally good. The only thing he would thank his parents for is his genes.
He just knew he had to show Ojima. He knows he isn't able to keep his mouth shut for even single second when he was smug about something. Nakamigawa swung the door to his office open as he walked inside.
"Takeshiii!" He called out.
Ojima recognised that tone. He knew Hiroaki had been up to something and now he would get an earful about it. Ojima rolled his chair away from his desk while sighing, turning to face Hiroaki.
"Yes?"
Hiroaki beamed, immediately shuffling to Ojima and leaning on his side, "Look look look! They sent over the pictures they took. They're fabulous. I'm fabulous. You need to see this."
Ojima was confused to say the least, "Hold on- slow down. What are you even talking about? What pictures?"
Hiroaki pulls a nearby stool to sit on. This was going to take a while.
"I haven't told you yet have I? Well, here's what happened."
He takes a deep, deep breath, beginning to tell the story as if it was fictional.
"It was a Saturday afternoon and I was bored as hell. You were at work, so I couldn't bother you. And then all of a sudden, I get a call from Seiko. And I'm like ‘well it's probably nothing’ and THEN I pick up and she's saying all this shit about a model gig. And now I'm pissed because I didn't sign up for any of this shit. Then I go visit Shigeki and-"
"Wait wait wait- slow down. You're going too fast. You got a modelling offer? And you visited Shigeki? Is that what you were-"
"I'm getting to it, Takeshi. Anyway-“ He swiftly cut the other man off. “Shigeki gives me all this- this stupid smooth talk and persuades me to go. Sooooo I went! And you might wanna see this Takeshi because it is fabulousss!"
Hiroaki swiftly whips out his phone and starts furiously tapping through his camera roll with excited eyes. Ojima softened at that look on his face. When he talked this fast, it was obvious he was excited about something. And Ojima enjoyed seeing Hiroaki excited. He knew Hiroaki was always under so much pressure and stress at work, despite loving what he does. So he’s glad that Hiroaki can catch a break at least sometimes.
Hiroaki shuffles his stool to press closer against Ojima as he started showing him the photos. Takeshi’s eyes studied each one.
"Holy shit." Ojima can't help the words that come from his mouth. He's seen Hiroaki wear the clothes he designed practically everyday, but this felt... different. Obviously, it was womenswear so of course it looked different, especially on him, but…
Hiroaki looked gorgeous. Well, he was always gorgeous really. But in these photos, they captured the most perfect angle of his face and just thoroughly enhanced every single aspect Ojima loved in him. The spotlight really was on Nakamigawa.
He feels himself fall into a sort of trance looking at the photos. He's never really seen Hiroaki wear feminine clothing before. If he knew he'd look like this he would've… asked about it sooner…
Ojima only now thinks about just how lucky he is to have a man as stunning as this fall in love with him.
Hiroaki's chatter fades into the background slightly as he scrolls through each picture. Though as Takeshi pulls his eyes away from the phone, he can see that Nakamigawa has a very proud expression on his face. Good. He should be proud over these.
By this point, Ojima just can't help himself. It had been so long since he had seen Hiroaki due to his work busying him; and he just looked so, so beautiful at that moment.
He cups Hiroaki's head in his hands gently, drawing him in for a kiss. Hiroaki makes a quick noise of surprise as he gets cut off mid sentence, but he leans in nonetheless.
The kiss was soft. Sweet. Their lips moved against each other like it was a routine: like it was natural.
Ojima had been adapted, all of his life, to think and treat romantic activity with fear and repulsion, but Hiroaki had opened up a new door for him. Hiroaki was tender and gave him time, making sure he was comfortable. He always felt safe here in Hiroaki's proximity.
Hiroaki slowly drew away from Ojima, his gaze lingering on the two coloured eyes. Ojima stared back, his eyes were sincere and warm: a safe space. It’s silent for a moment as they hold that loving eye contact.
Before Hiroaki begins to break out into loud laughter, resting his head on Ojima's shoulder. Ojima is slightly confused in this moment, though he still holds Hiroaki close to his body, relishing in his space and the sound of his beautiful laugh.
And as Takeshi closed his eyes, he realised that this was it. Bliss, heaven; whatever people wanted to call it. This was it for Ojima. Sharing this space with Hiroaki, listening to his laughter and feeling his love, was enough of a heaven to him.