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Despite what you hoped others to believe, you weren’t actually that smart. Not in the beginning anyway. You weren’t born with the ability to just get it right first try like most of the people you attended med school with or your colleagues now. You didn't possess that natural capacity to trust your gut and it somehow be the correct answer. Instead, you had to study. To wipe your tears when you cried into your textbooks and go again when you failed. While others could show up, claiming to not have studied and act surprised when they aced the exam, you spent hours forcing yourself to recite pages and pages until it stuck.
Because of this, becoming a doctor didn’t come easy. Even in your senior residency, you felt sick at the thought that someone could come along and be reliant on an answer you didn’t know and couldn’t give. It sets your body alight. You allowed yourself to believe that, most of the time it was adrenaline that made your heart race in the ED, but there was always the thought in the back of your mind while your colleagues looked to you for leadership that you were a fraud. That every step taken to get here was just good luck, a coincidence. And one day, someone would come along and prove that you were never that smart, that your job deserves to go to the kids who just got it.
That’s why Doctor Jack Abbot pissed you off so much.
He knew everything. And even if he didn’t, you know he doesn’t, he’d make it up and miraculously it was correct. He walked through The Pitt like it was some game.
You went by the book. Took your time and trusted the facts not your intuition.
Abbot called you slow and you knew he thought you weak even if he never said such a thing.
That’s the reason he’s a Chief Attending and you’re not.
You’d like to think you were total opposites, and that’s why you clashed, but you’d be lying to yourself. You didn’t like the man because he was the better version of you. Confident and self assured. You had the same degrees and schooling, experience and hours on the time sheet but he would always be everything you wished you could and never would be.
The double shift you’d picked up had been a mistake. It had been non-stop since you came in nearly twenty three hours ago and you wished for nothing more than your bed and a week's worth of sleep. It was that strange hour between day and night rotations while you handed over to Al-Hashimi when a call came through of a four car pile up. Two DOA, one with minor injuries and three in critical.
“Five minutes out” Dana pointed at you as the elevator to the helipad opened.
“Going up?” Abbot shouldered through the closing doors at the last second, turning to you to tie the back of his white gown. You did the same wordlessly. Neither of you spoke en route.
The adrenaline doubt settled in.
You know what you’re doing.
He spotted the helicopter first, a couple hundreds yards over the horizon just where the sun was coming down. This shift couldn’t end soon enough.
“This’ll be fun” God, he was beaming despite the twelve hour shift he was still pulling.
“Fun? You and I have very different ideas of fun Dr Abbot”
“Jack” He always corrected you. You didn’t care. “You’re telling me this isn’t fun?”
You brought your arms up in front of your chest, crossing them firmly. It was cold.
“Exciting, maybe. I can think of other things that would be much more fun”
He turned to face you, chin down and probably smirking, but you kept your eyes on the skies.
“Oh, yeah? Like what?”
“Can you focus?” The helicopter began its fast descent. The pair of you bent over to shelter from the strong breeze as you ran to meet the EMT half way. Abbot’s hand met your back as you got closer to the propellers, keeping you near to him.
Ignore that feeling.
“Male adolescent, nine, anterior neck laceration. Pulse 130, weak and dropping. BP, 90 systolic” The EMT yelled upon arrival over the whooping noise of the propeller holding speed.
“The seat belt?” Under the dark plastic wraps of the stretcher, you couldn't make out the severity of the injury.
“Kid didn’t have a car seat”
They abandoned you at the opening to the elevator, Abbot steered the bed in as you unclipped the covers to reveal the victim with half their head unattached from their shoulders. Just a kid.
But this wasn’t your first.
“Lets go” Abbot nodded and you jumped in, immediately applying pressure to the wound. In moments like this, you couldn’t hear much. The blood flooded to your ears and your body just took, exactly as it had been trained to.
“What we have we got Dr Y/N” Al-Hasimi and Santos met you by the opening, helping guide the stretcher into Trauma Two. The other victims were close behind coming through the ambulance bay. You had the worst.
Abbot answered for you.
“This is a teaching hospital Abbot, let me learn”
“Your plan Dr Y/N” Al-Hashimi directed her voice, stern, as you entered the trauma bay.
“Intubation”
She approved. Santos began the task at hand
“He’s bleeding out. It’ll be no use” Abbot argued. You looked down and hesitated to agree. Diaz confirmed the lack of sufficient vitals.
“It’s not working” Trinity pulled it out.
“Anyone?”
“Tracheal cannula inserted through the opening of the larynx to maintain airway patency” Abbot instructed, the day Attending nodded.
Why is he even trying to show off? He’s a fucking Chief Attending. Is he trying to flirt with Lulullemon? Seriously?
“Any volunteers”
You practically yelled yes before Abbot could.
“You know how to do that?” Abbot was on the opposite side of you, his fingers wordlessly working against yours to apply further pressure, your bodies ignoring the conversation and continuing treatment.
How dare he.
Al-Hashimi stood, arms crossed. “Y/N, this is a teaching hospital. If you’d please”
Your fingers were shaking a little, something you hoped no one noticed as you held the scalpel over the kid’s throat and nodded to Trinity.
“We do this vertically not horizontally or you’ll cut the jugular veins” Everyone listened to your word, quiet and still while you began.
“Slow and steady” Abbot spoke under his breath. You blinked back your stress. Your contacts were dry after twenty three hours and your mouth chalky.
The sound of nothing on the monitor meant you could practically hear your heart in your throat.
“Santos, what’s next?”
She hesitated and furrowed her eyebrows the way she did when she was trying to recall the last ten years of her education. -”two-centimetre incision through the tracheal rings”
“Good” Abbot complimented.
“Am I teaching or are you?”
He let you continue as you applied pressure down.
“Bougie please. Insert E-T tube into the airway”
Dr.Abbot assisted suctioning the blood expelling from the wound.
“Bag him” Santos began manually squeezing the mask.
“Stabilizing” Diaz confirmed.
You took a deep breath, your chest shaking a little with adrenaline.
“How many times have you done that before DR Y/N?” Al-Hashimi smiled from her spot.
You pulled your hands away, holding them steady above your waist, still bloody and slightly wobbly.
“First time”
Santos scoffed “Badass ER Barbie”
A small laugh escaped your lips.
You didn’t notice Abbot struggling to smother his smile.
Double shift over.
“You didn’t have to look so surprised I actually know how to do my job, you know?” The contents of your locker spilled out as you kicked off your shoes and into a looser pair of slipper boots, your feet thanking you for the release of your tight laces.
He was doing the same, throwing on a light Carhart jacket before he turned to lean against the wall, looking down at you.
“Did I say I didn’t think you could do your job well enough?”
After standing for the last twenty four hours, rising up from your crouch was a slight struggle and you attempted not to groan when your knees clicked, ankles following.
“You know how to do that?” Your voice dropped to mimic him. Oh, please, give me a break”
He scoffed. “You doubt yourself and your ability. I was telling you to trust yourself, not questioning your skill” He was closer than you expected when you caught your balance, his elbow holding his backpack creating little space between you.
“I do”
He tutted, smile growing. “No, I don’t think you do”
He thinks you’re an idiot who can’t do their job, is what he probably thinks.
He looked behind you, making sure no one was eavesdropping- “That should be you leading the day shift when Robby’s gone not some outsider”
Your voices were hushed.
“You would be the first to cast doubt on my ability to lead that unit”
“Yes, because, until you start realising how brilliant you actually are, what potential you have, you’ll continue to always be second to number one”
“Fuck you Abbot, you know I think you have a future in motivational speaking”
“You hate me because you know I’m right”
You stepped forward, jabbing your finger into his chest. “I hate you because you’re a fucking asshole. That’s why”
You didn’t wait for his reply, and swung your bag tight over your shoulder as you sped out of there.
Upon entering your car, however, you wish you’d been nicer. Perhaps, if you accepted Abbot’s cruel advice and stopped using him as a vessel for your inner rag, your luck would improve.
Until then, you remained in your bad karma.
Your engine failed to start.
The piece of garbage tin-can you picked up off of Craigslist liked to keep you on your toes. Every now and then it decided to stop working, maybe cough out a cloud of smoke or tease you with a struggling ignition. But now, twenty five hours after you last used it, it failed to do absolutely anything.
“No, no, no. Not now”
It grumbled. Several attempts followed, then it bid you farewell with a little flash of the battery light and hope before shutting off completely.
Just put me out of my misery here.
A knock sounded on your window. Abbot.
You wiped back a tear that had fallen against your will.
The windows wouldn’t roll without electricity, so you opted to cracking the door open slightly.
“You okay? That sounded bad” Abbot’s voice was filled with concern but a small quip of his lips didn’t go unnoticed at the pleasure of your demise.
“Dead. You don’t have any jumper cables do you?”
He looked back at his car, around the empty lot and back down through your window.
“No. Come on, I’ll give you a ride”
“It’s fine. I can go see if someone inside-” His hand caught the door open.
“Get in my car before I tie you up and throw you in there myself”
You unbuckled and opened the door further with a little force you hoped would hit him on the way out.
“Only if you throw me in the river after with a heavy weight”
He ignored you with a pointed look.
You were starting to sound like Robby.
You dragged your bag across the concrete till you practically slithered into his passenger side and sighed, the man taking your bag off you somewhere along the way to put it in the trunk.
He knew where you lived, thanks to Robby forcing him to drive you and Ellis back to your apartment after last year's Christmas party a few months back and began the commute with the low hum of the radio as the sun grew brighter. It was taking longer than it should have. Traffic stopped every few yards and your fingers twisted the radio louder-
“The car crash which occurred early this morning, has backed up all the lower west side of Pittsburgh with damage to local traffic enforcement halting all movement for an unknown duration of time. Enforcement Officers urge vehicle drivers to take alternative transport” The radio called out.
“Don’t you live down that way?” You looked over at him. He was gripping the steering wheel with one hand, the other running down his face. The now twenty six hours awake was hitting him like a tonne of bricks. It was hard to ignore the flip your stomach made at the sight. He might be a massive pain in your ass but you weren’t stupid enough to deny he was attractive, especially in uniform, groaning and ruffled.
“Yes, yes I do”
He pulled up to the street outside your apartment not too long later and turned off the car while you collected your bag. You instructed him you could get it yourself and smiled through the gap in the rear window when you saw a pair of jumper cables next to your things in his trunk.
Liar, liar.
“Come inside” He was falling asleep in the front seat.
“What?” His eyes closed.
“I’m not letting you drive home like this. You’ll be stuck in traffic for hours”
“I’m fine”
“Abbot, stop being stupid”
“I’ll be fine. I promise”
You pulled the door open, holding it away from him.
“Jack”
Something changed on his face. Just for a moment, but you noticed. And you had to look away.
“Okay”
You struggled to find your keys under your dirty scrubs and empty lunchbox, wrappers went flying and Abbot came from behind you-
“Here-” He held open your purse while you rifled through, locating your lanyard right at the bottom.
His hands didn’t let go after you opened the door, your bag tightly in his grip as he walked in.
Don’t.
Your apartment welcomed you with open arms. It was flooded with warm morning light and the fresh scent of your laundry drying on a rack by the closed window.. Thank God you’d actually cleaned before you’d left. The tiredness hit you all at once as soon as you kicked off your shoes, however. Your body kicking into its post shift routine.
“Hungry?” You turned to face him. Still in the doorway, he held your things behind his back as he lent in to look at the photos dotted around the wall of the entrance way. There were Polaroids and Photo Booth strips framed in white boxes and on a corkboard of you and your friends from various events - Mohan, McKay and you smiling at a picnic for McKay’s son’s birthday, a goofy photo of you dancing with a lab skeleton from undergrad, ticket stubs of movies Whitaker dragged you to and a group shot of you and the team. Abbot was in the back stood by Robby, of course. You hoped he wouldn’t ask any questions about that one. You think you were too tired to try to lie about how you didn’t look at it, at him everyday on your way out.
“Jack?”
His head snapped. “Yes. Yes, I am”
The kitchen was small and humble but had everything a single girl could need. A little tree for your seasonal mug collection, an expansive tea draw and a small cabinet of jars filled with flour and sugar.
“Pancakes”
Your usual, post work meal.
He agreed. Despite his usual arrogance and laissez faire attitude, he seemed a bit uneased in your apartment - afraid to make a wrong move.
“Okay, perfect. I’m going to shower to wake up a bit and- anyway. Stay here, I’ll not be long, then you can shower if you want?”
“Smell that bad huh?”
“Terrible”
He laughed quietly, too tired and took a step towards you, spooking your system.
Leave now.
The hot shower did nothing to distract you from him. If anything it made you worse. You got naked then thought about how he was just on the other side of the door. You had intrusive thoughts of just swinging it open and walking up to him.
Just sit straight in his lap…
Wait? WHAT?
What the hell are you thinking?
You’re tired and delusional. Stop thinking about him and being naked, him being naked…
The shampoo in your eyes woke you up and snapped you out of your dirty thoughts. The door opened with a hiss and you stepped out wrapped in your fluffy robe and fresh pjs.
He had been left to his own devices in your living room and you were somewhat shocked to see him passed out on his side curled up on your sofa.
Act normal. Don’t go stroking him now.
He was completely out of it, mouth parted and lightly snoring.
“Sure, make yourself at home” He’d kicked off his shoes and had tucked his hand under his head while he slept, motionless, his jacket bawled into a makeshift pillow despite the multitude around him. Careful as to not disturb, you switch the Carhartt out for a real pillow, and slot it under his head, pulling a throw up to his shoulders.
“Missing breakfast here, Buddy”
He was gone. Deep into REM while you decided against your usual and saved them for later instead settling for a brownie bar and handful of raspberries. It was enough to give your stomach a little something before you were bed ridden for the next ten hours in comatose.
“You know, you’re quite nice when you’re asleep”
His body didn’t move much, only his chest rising slowly with each breath.
“You can’t be mean to me and tell me all the things I already know”
Nothing.
“Goodnight Handsome”
Sleep came easy once you took yourself to bed, the past day and a half catching up to you all at once as soon as your head hit the pillow.
Abbot was gone when you woke ten hours later, leaving behind only a neatly folded blanket and a scrawled note on the back of a Trade Joes receipt you left on your kitchen counter -
Thanks for letting me sleep. I stole a protein bar.
I’ll get you some more.
Jack
You didn’t allow yourself to argue with yourself why then pinned up the bit of paper on your cork board.
-
“Morning Sunshine” Robby clapped your shoulder when you arrived.
“Why are you in a good mood?”
Dana immediately prompted you to pick a patient.
No good deed goes unpunished,
“I’ll take the abdominal pains in South 15. Dana”
“Good choice, Kid”
Robby walked with you down the hall, coffee cup in hand.
He had a stupid smile on his face “I’ve been here only fourty five minutes and already had Abbot tell me to fuck off twice. Twice”
You laughed at his glee. “Two times? Wow. It’s funny-“ you waved hello at Santos and Whitaker -“it’s like only one of you can be at peace at one time. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you both be in the same room smiling”
Robby scoffed “we share a soul”
“A brain cell more like”
He knocked your shoulder playfully. “Hey, we do smile at the same time. You just have to be there for him to look at”
You opened the door to the medical room.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
He ignored you and responded to a call while your sleepy eyes flicked around the department
Abbot was filtering through handovers with Al-Hashimi and Dr Ellis.
“You okay?” Perlah was leaning over the nurses station.
“Sorry?” She laughed at you and clicked her pen.
“What’s wrong with you two?”
“Wrong?-
Wrong? Did people think something was up with you? No, he just slept at your house a few days ago. No biggie. But you shouldn’t tell people that. It sounded like he-
-no, nothing”
“You got into another fight?” Princess rounded the corner and handed you a chart.
“No, we don’t fight that much, do we?”
The two of them gave a look.
“What?” You were helpless.
Perlah wouldn’t look you in the eyes. “The two of you just have this energy”
“Energy?”
“Tension”
“You guys talking about Y/N and Jack’s Enemies to Lovers pipe line” Donnie chirped in, opening his stolen sandwich from the cart.
“Enemies to Lovers? Really?” You sighed.
“What? My wife loves those smutty farie books. I know all about Enemies to Lovers and you and Dr Abbot are one life or death moment away from a dramatic confession”
“We are?” Jack Abbot took your chart out of your hands.
“I hate you” You whispered to Donnie as he tried to struggle past you.
Everyone suddenly seemed to have remembered where they were supposed to be and cleared the area.
“Don’t look at them like that” You snatched the tablet out of his hands, not allowing your charts to receive another second of scrutiny.
“I didn’t say a thing”
“You were thinking it”
“I was thinking why’d you’d call for a CT before you left last night for your last patient first when you knew you needed to-”
You left him to head for the break room. He followed.
“Because that’s protocol. Unlike some, I can’t justify just doing things because it feels right”
“No you don’t, you just waste time and that’s why I’m a Chief Attending and you’re not”
You scoffed at him. He continued-
“You know what you’re doing-“
“I can’t just trust my gut like you”
“You’re smart enough to”
“Just not that reckless”
He leant back against the counter in the small kitchenette while you dug out your breakfast from the fridge.
Motherfucker, someone had stolen your yogurt pot. It had been there for thirty minutes.
“Maybe you should be?”
“What? Act a little bit more like you?” A smile graced your lips as you looked him up and down.
Don’t do that.
Bad idea.
He had his arms crossed and his scrubs stretched right across his chest.
“Yes, precisely”
“Why would I listen to you?”
“Because I’m your teaching Chief Attending”
“Teaching?-“ you laughed “is that what you call telling students to just grab a scalpel and give it a go?”
He straightened up “What would you call it?”
“Your methods are a cautionary tale”
“Jealous they tell stories about me?”
You had to busy your hands with the coffee machine.
“Of you?”
Yes.
“I have many words to describe the way I feel about you Jack, and jealous isn’t one of them”
He accepted the cup you didn't mean to make him.
“It’s not? What about handsome, charismatic" he was leaning towards you-
“Irritating, obnoxious” you interrupted. The door opened wide and fast. Whitaker practically crashed in, a mysterious white liquid down his front.
“You okay?” You tried not to smile at his state.
He was panicky and looking between the two of you.
“Could one of you help in Trauma Two? I got-“ he waved over his front.
“I got this” You waved him off “And you’re done now?”
Abbot cleared his throat. “I picked up a double. You’re stuck with me till seven”
You threw back your coffee, burning your throat.
“You know it’s not healthy to use work as a coping mechanism to avoid spending time with your thoughts”
“I spend plenty of time with my thoughts. Work just keeps the bad ones distracted”
“Yeah, how’s that working for you?”
“Well I keep bumping into you so I guess I need to work harder”
“Of course, those bad thoughts are coming in hot now?”
“Like you wouldn’t believe” He stopped you for a moment, his hand almost touched yours but he pulled back.
“Here” He was holding out a protein bar. “To replace the one I-“
Diaz and Donnie were stood talking on the corner within earshot, both listening intently.
You took it quickly, and shoved it in your pocket.
“Thanks”
Abbot ignored the two men and continued walking, you tried to do the same and looked over your shoulder at Donnie was had a beaming smile and mouthed the words-
Enemies to Lovers
Diaz was giggling like a school girl.
-
“You still getting the bus?” McKay asked you while you were leaning against your locker trying to make sense of the schedule on your phone after twelve hours of day time madness. Your eyes could barely read the chart clearly.
“Yeah, turns out my dead battery can’t be resuscitated and will take another week till I can get it in with a mechanic who won’t charge me half month rent”
“I can give you a ride if you want, but I have to go pick up my kid from he’s Dads out of town”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s not too bad and I just want to get right home”
“Oh yeah, you got a hot date?”
You laughed with her, the two of you making your way to the car lot.
“I wish. The only guy I’ll be cosying up with is the cowboy in my kindle”
“Tell me you’re stopping off on the way to get ice cream and I’ll officially be jealous”
She left you near the door with a smile while you hung back, alone.
“You ready?” The bag on your shoulder was taken off you as Abbot walked past and made a B-line to his car.
“What? Wait, I’m fine to-“
“I’ll pick you up and march you over to my car if I have to”
As stubbornness goes, you met your match the day you met Jack Abbot.
“You drive after that shift?”
“Twenty four hours?-“ he scoffed -“that’s nothing”
“Don’t fall asleep on me will you?” He opened your side of the car and waved his hands like a reveal.
“You keep me wide awake”
“I’ll punch you in your jaw real hard”
“I don’t doubt you would. Now shut up and get in, would you?”
The drive was quiet, it felt less rigid than last time. The day had been less chaotic, as far as the ED goes and, there was no mass casualty pile up blocking your route home. It took almost no time at all and when you did arrive outside your apartment block, you felt an overwhelming deflation.
“I think I owe you-” “Got any plans for the rest of your night?” You spoke at the same time. He followed with a laugh and you carefully responded.
“I was just going to make some food then probably fall asleep watching some shitty tv show”
“Pancakes?” He was smiling, looking down at his hands latched tight around the steering wheel.
“Of course”
You needed to figure out what was happening here, and threw out your dignity.
“Want to join me?”
Abbot cleared his throat and remained looking out the window, considering deeply.
Good. We’re both nervous about this then.
“Just come in for a coffee at least? So you don’t pass out on your way home”
“Can I take you up on both?”
You only nodded, not allowing yourself to speak to save the embarrassment of sounding too happy.
He was close behind as you led your way to your door, dropping your things on a hook and kicking off your shoes.
He did the same.
“Let me help” He came up beside you when you took your supplies out of the cabinet and the bowl out of your hands, pulling it his way. .
“Always have to take control, huh?” You teased. He tutted and paused for a moment while you added in ingredients.
“I believe this is called team work, Y/N”
“Is it now?” You leant back against the counter, your body angled to face him.
“It is, now crack an egg in here”
The kitchen slowly came alive with the sound of laughter and shouting, egg yolk splattering on his scrubs and him threatening to touch your face with his flour covered hand. The movements and proximity made were similar to your usual, only now a scalpel and intubation tube were replaced with a whisk and spatulas. A plate sat on the side, growing high with pancakes after some time. Neither of you separated the pile and instead, settled to place in between you both on the breakfast bar while you dug in, forks in hands.
“What shitty tv show were you thinking of watching?”
Was he trying to stay longer?
“I don’t know. I usually just search through the discovery channel till I end on up on an old shark week episode or a show about how salt water taffy is made”
“How is it made?” He was leaning closer, his voice a whisper, teasing.
“No idea. Want to watch and find out?”
Which led the two of you sinking into your sofa with cups of tea watching some Alaskan Wilderness show- his feet up on your coffee table, his arms stretched behind him on the back of the sofa while you curled up, your legs tucked under you a very reasonable and professional distance from him. It remained that way until the sun sank lower, blanketing your living room in a darkness only interrupted by the amber warmth of the few lamps dotted around behind you. Then it changed. He did that thing you do when fighting sleep becomes the hardest task in the world - his chin dropping in uneven drops till he finally submitted to the sleep dragging him against your shoulder. He was touching you, close enough for you to notice. And you think you would have attempted to move if it wasn’t for your own tiredness pulling you closer to him, your eyes drooping shut after just a flutter. The pair of you falling asleep besides one another to the soft hum of the television.
You woke up some time later. You didn’t know how long, but the tv had resorted back to its home page and it was well and truly night time. From where you’d been sitting, sleep had pulled your body to the side, leaning towards Abbot who had settled with his head against your shoulder, under your own, your knuckles just brushing against each other by your side.
He immediately woke when you moved.
“Shit-I” He was a bit panicked in his sleepiness, but that didn’t stop you allowing your fingers to press into his wrist as you stood up and stretched.
“Dont worry about it”
He stood up a bit too quickly than he should have and didn’t notice it would have caused you to become too close to him until it was too late, the two of you inches apart.
“Just stay”
His face screwed up, his head tilting to the side just enough for you to reconsider before he gulped and looked anywhere but your face.
“I don’t think my back can handle your sofa one more night” he attempted to laugh.
“You can go in my bed”
You didn’t really allow for him to process as you clicked off the tv and submerged the two of you in darkness, only the light from your bedroom laying the way.
“I’m not kicking you out of your bed” you twisted to stop him where he followed-
“I’m sure we can both share? I’ll even make a pillow barrier if you’re so worried I’ll bite”
“Oh, I know you bite and used to it by now”
“Great, then no pillow barrier” you threw one of your decorative pillows over his side, which he caught, and turned to your dresser to pull out a pair of red chequered pyjamas bottoms.
“They should fit, Shen left them accidentally when he borrowed my washer a few months ago”
He held them out and laughed.
You had to turn away as you lied “sorry he didn’t leave the matching tshirt as well”
You didn’t feel the slightest bit of guilt, especially not when he came out your en-suite, shirtless, with wet hair and tired eyes. You did however have to roll over in bed as to not allow him to see your blush.
“Stop hogging the blanket” was the first thing said after a little while when you tried to yank back the section he stole when he got in.
“Sorry, I’ll just freeze to death over here with my sliver” he pulled back and it rolled you toward him.
“God you’re probably a snorer too or get freakishly hot” you quipped as you sat up, your head resting against your palm and you leant on your elbow alongside him.
He laughed “Yeah? I bet you sleep talk or wriggle about like a freaking fish”
“You can give a full review in the morning I’m sure”
“Oh, I will. The host was mean and pushy and didn’t give me a shirt then complained when I tried to compensate with a bit of blanket”
You shoved his shoulder and laughed into your pillow. Your stomach flipped when his chuckle followed and you felt his head fall back against his pillow.
“Stop complaining and go to sleep. It’s late”
“She was bossy too” he said to the fake customer service “Really quite rude. Just plain mean. No regard for her superior” Terrible service” he tutted, the room falling into black as you switched off your bedside lamp. You went to speak again when you felt his arm lay more of your duvet across your side, almost tucking you in. “Good night Y/N”
When you woke up for the second time beside him, you tried to shut off your gentle alarm but a weight was keeping you down.
“Turn that off” he mumbled into the side of your neck.
His arm was around your waist, your hand over his where it lay in front of you, his body warm behind you.
“Trying” you tapped his hand and was released.
Don’t think too much on that.
In the silence of the early morning, you worked through your routine - showering, layering on your black scrubs and a striped long sleeve underneath, filling your thermos with a strong black coffee and
Stopping to stand in the doorway and look at the gorgeous man asleep in your bed
“Are you working?” He spoke into the mess of blankets you previously occupied. He didn’t even need to look up to know you were there and staring.
“Yes. Us day shifters are up with the sun”
He grumbled and covered his face with his arm, his bare muscles arm flexing in the ray of the sunlight that broke through the curtains
Jesus
He made to sit up and the blankets fell at his waist
Fuck me.
You had to do something else. Busy yourself with finding a matching pair of socks from your draw.
“Go back to sleep”
Abott went to protest but couldn't figure out an argument in his sleepiness.
“There’s a spare key in the dish by the door, just close up when you leave. It’s the one with the photo keychain thing”
It was a group shot of you, Langdon and McKay on your final day as Junior Residents, all bright eyed and bushy tailed, celebrating with beers on the benches.
Your stomach flipped at the thought of pushing him back, of kissing the soft skin of his shoulder goodbye and telling him it was his turn to cook before he left for work, at the sight of your shoes together by the door and the bundle of your matching scrubs in the bathroom. Of the domesticity of the fantasy that ran through your brain.
You left him in a pile of your sheets and attempted to shake off the image of him shirtless in your bed as you took the bus.
It left you in a funk for the rest of the day.
“Dr Y/N?” Mel and Whitaker were running a case by you, you didn’t know at which point you stopped listening.
“Sorry-I-yes. You should send for a C-T. I agree. Good job guys” They left you to continue your charting, only pausing when you felt that strange pull of someone looking at you. You scanned the ED and settled on Robby staring over while in conversation with-
Jack?
The nightshift had almost begun.
Robby waved a hello and had a shit eating grin on, his mouth moving as he spoke to Abbot beside him who had his hands in his pockets and was looking anywhere but in your direction.
“What are those two giggling about?” Dr Ellis checked in beside you.
“No idea” you clocked out and caught Abbot's eyes.
Was he blushing?
You couldn’t spend long on it though as Dana called an incoming.
“Come on, last one for you day shifters, nightshift clock in, all hands on deck”
A ship yard working had fallen off a rig and landed twenty feet down onto a fork lift. The EMT’s wheeled him in, reading out his vitals to Abbot who met them half way. You joined on the other side, instructing Santos to bag him as you took scissors to his overalls.
“BP dropping. Major internal bleeding on left side abdomen. Emma, get surgery and respiratory down here”
“MTP” Abbot instructed and you agreed, the two of you leading as you broke into a trauma bay. Jesse linked up and IV and Abbot wordlessly handed over intubation as you took the airway.
Garcia stormed through the doors. Santos called the case and she took her gloves off, taking a step back.
“He can’t go up to surgery like that, don’t make me do your job Dr Y/N” she was teasing and you rolled her eyes.
“Give me a minute, I’m a bit busy”
It was a ruptured spleen and you wasted no time making an incision, narrating to Santos who looked over your shoulder assisting.
“Now we clamp the vessel” She took over where you pointed, Garcia scoffing at the end of the bed.
“Don’t teach her your cowgirl cutting ways. I don’t need anymore of your choppy messes coming up to surgery”
“Sorry ma’am we can’t all be robots with a scalpel. I’m sure our patient here will forgive me for the mess when they’re alive and walking” you tipped an imaginary hat her way
“You’re lines are good, don’t listen to her” it was Abbot on the other side of the body.
“Was that a compliment Jack?” Garcia laughed as you all prepared to handover to her team.
He stuttered and froze under the stares off the entire room, he looked over at you.
“Don’t know what’s wrong with me today?” He choked a laugh.
You hoped no one saw your blushing.
“Okay, let’s move. Jesse, go with” you called out. The team stepped back as Garcia took over. Jesse rolled the IV pole behind and accidentally bumped against Jack's shoulder when he did. He stumbled forward just enough to knock whatever was in his pocket on the floor into the space the gurney just lay.
Completely out in the open and for everyone to see were your keys.
“Are those-“
Everyone was silent.
What the fuck do you do?
“Why do you have keys to Y/N house?” Santos’ eyebrows were up to her hair, a huge grin on her face.
“Yeah, Jack? You moved in together?” Garcia laughed.
“You found them?” You acted shocked and peeled off your gloves to pick them up, shoving them into your own pocket.
“I lost them at work yesterday” you tried to laugh it off and wiped off invisible sweat from your forward. “Thank God someone found them”
No one believes you. Even Jack was smiling.
“Fuck off Garcia” you waved her off and she left with Jesse and the patient. Abbot didn't stick around any longer when Ellis shouted for an Attending, leaving you to make your escape out the door.
“Not so fast cowgirl” Santos was speed walking after you but you sped up.
“Someone stop her” she yelled over at Whitaker and Mel clocking off at the central station. Mel’s eyes went wide and she kicked out a paper bin which you barely missed with a little jump.
“I didn’t mean take her out Jesus” Trinity laughed.
“Not a word” you turned to her and stuck your finger out.
“About what?” Denis asked.
Santos struggled against where you had your hand against her mouth.
“Dr Abbot and Y/N have been playing house”
“You and Jack are sleeping together?” Princess practically rolled over the desk to hear.
“No. We are not. We-“
“Knew it” Perlah handed a twenty dollar note to Santos.
What?
“What’s going on here?” Lena clocked in.
“Just talking about how Abbot and Y/N finally admitted their feelings and have been sleeping together” Mel pointed.
“No we have not?”
Shen showed up, coffee in hand and raised an eyebrow.
“Enemies to Lovers are dating” Dennis told. You scoffed.
“About time. It’s getting annoying hearing him yap on about you all night”
Everyone, including yourself, looked his way.
-“every shift it’s ’Y/N this, Y/N that’ if you hadn’t tried to convince everyone you don’t like each other I would have thought you were married”
“Can I have my night crew ready to go please” Abbot reappeared with Ellis.
Perfect timing.
No one moved, only looked at the proximity between the two of you. Shoulders touching.
“Now” he had to yell.
You allowed everyone to disperse before turning to him.
“Real subtle back there” you whisper shouted.
“I hadn’t had the chance to give you your keys back before then”
“Well now everyone believes we have been secretly dating”
“I think Shen thinks we’re married”
You scoffed as an attempt to turn your face away from how close he was.
“You wish”
It was his turn to laugh and look anywhere but you.
“Wouldn’t be so bad. You live closer to work and make a mean stack of pancakes”
“Oh yeah? Let’s just skip the first kiss and dating and go straight to marriage. That your style Jack?”
“It is if you keep saying my first name like that”
You know what? Fuck it.
“Fine”
“Fine?”
“I want a big ring though”
He laughed louder than you think he meant to, and ran a hand over his face. You stressed this old man out.
“A big ring?”
“Square cut”
“Obviously. Anything else?” he tutted like it was common sense.
“You will need to take me on a first date though, before we get married”
“And the first kiss?”
“Does it need to be a big deal?”
“Absolutely”
He leant in that final step, his lips meeting you in a gentle kiss. His hand cupped your face and you had to rest your hand against the desk for balance. You could hear some gasps around you and kept your eyes closed a moment longer to save embarrassment.
“Think you just made that a big deal?”
He looked at the frozen ED. Every doctor and nurse had stopped to look your way, mouths open bar Robby who was cheesing and practically jumping up and down with Dana.
You took the keys out of your pocket and put them back in his.
“Pancakes after your shift?”
He kissed you again, shorter and while smiling.
“Counting down the minutes” .