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Pass the Dutchie

Summary:

Leon and Briggs hit the Rick and Morty penjamin bitch. And they act gay and shit yo.

Notes:

I have NEVER written drug use before, so shoutout to my irl for educating me on weed (u know who u r bro!!!)

Btw if anyone knows Leon’s last name lmk

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Leon and Briggs were getting high as balls. Leon was more than well acquainted with weed; Briggs on the other hand was being introduced to weed for the first time in his life.

The taller of the two was coughing uncontrollably and sobbing after taking a hit from the pen. Briggs expected smoking weed to be more calming than this.

Leon’s bloodshot eyes widened, patting Briggs on the back supportively. “Duuude,” cough “chillax.” Leon wheezed out, laughing afterwards. Briggs enacted the bright idea of holding it in so he wouldn’t cough; it got worse.

“BRIGGS HOLDING IT IN DOESN’T DO ANYTHING!” Leon grabbed him by the broad shoulders, shaking him restlessly. “Fuck.” Briggs wailed out with a shrill tone. It did do something—make him higher. He snorted and chuckled. Leon immediately forgot what the issue was, and started laughing his ass off as well. They were giggling as though they weren’t missing at least ten assignments, no care in the world.

Leon turned to Briggs, placing a hand on his shoulder confrontationally.

“Yo,” taking another hit from the pen—he needed to replace the Rick and Morty battery soon “I got a hella important question. This could, like, change the trajectory of our lives, yo.” He paused so he could have a coughing/laughing fit. “Imagine… what if Spongebob- Spongebop… was a bright, bumbling, red.”

Briggs’ jaw dropped.

“Because of like… the color theory of it, yo. Spunkboob is yellow because he’s happy, but if he were red, he- uh..” He stammered off.

A lightbulb went off in Briggs’ head. “He’d be feelin’ romantical.” He wheezed maniacally “Red is the sexy color, but he’d also be angry. He’d be lashing out at Patrick. Not… not cool, dude.”

“Nahhh… he’d just be… really romantic. Like me, bro.” His senses were fogged, both laughing—mostly wheezing. “Come over here and kiss- kiss me on my hot mouth.” Briggs snorted out, putting his arm over Leon’s shoulder—Leon followed suit. The duo kept laughing at literally nothing, dopamine rushing through their systems.

After a while of hitting the pen several times, Leon dozed off on Briggs’ shoulder. Both men were sound asleep. What a total bunch of bums.

Notes:

I am the founding father of Leriggs. Leon x Briggs. I AM A FOUNDING FATHER OF YAOI I promise to make more of them