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The Long Way Round

Summary:

Autistic Character Month
Day 6: Loneliness & Isolation

Two kids who can't quite reach the world find a way to reach each other, every Saturday, in the park.
Somehow, it's exactly what they both needed.

Notes:

This theme will show up a lot. Usually I do these as one shots but this is a continuation. We saw it in Day 2 - Built By Hand and it's mentioned in Day 4 - The Stiles Protocol. It will show up several more times. Enjoy!

FYI - yes I know some of the signs aren't exact. I use exhausted for tired, but they don't have words yet so it's okay for there to be some slight misinterpretations. I did that on purpose. I think sometimes while ASL is the standard so other's can easily understand Stiles, he makes up signs too. He's six. They do that.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Scott didn't know the word for what he felt.

He was six, and his vocabulary for the inside of himself was still mostly made of pictures. The feeling was gray. It sat in his chest like something wet. It made food taste like nothing at recess and made everything feel longer than it was, even though it was the same hallway every day, the same cracks in the same sidewalk outside.

New school. New street. New everything.

He hadn't wanted to move. He didn't know how to say that, because saying it made his mom's face do the thing — that tight around the eyes, soft at the mouth thing — and he didn't want to be the reason for that face. So he kept it inside where the gray was and said it's fine and school is okay and his mother believed him enough to stop asking.


Melissa walked him home on Fridays. That was their thing. The rest of the week she was rushing from shift to shift and Scott rode the bus, but Fridays she picked him up at the gate and they walked the six blocks home together and she always asked him things and he always answered them.

Except that lately the answers had gotten very small.

"Did you sit with anyone at lunch?"

"Mm."

She waited. He didn't add anything.

"Was that a yes mm or a no mm?"

Scott thought about it. There had been an empty seat at the end of a table and he had sat in it because it was the rule that you had to sit somewhere. The kids at the other end had been talking about something. He hadn't tried to join in.

"I sat at a table," he said.

Melissa looked straight ahead. Her hand found his and held it. She didn't say anything, which was one of the things he loved about her — she never forced the next part. She just walked beside him and held on.

The gray sat in his chest the whole six blocks.


The park two blocks past their street was the kind neighborhood parks were — slightly tired, well-loved, a little sun-bleached. She'd started bringing him on Saturdays with the vague hope that other children would simply materialize and the problem would solve itself.

Scott sat at the bottom of the slide and watched two older kids kick a ball and didn't move toward them.

Melissa sat on the bench. She was watching him watch them when she became aware of someone at the other end of it — had he been there before? She wasn't sure. A man about her age, dark circles, a travel mug, a badge clipped to his belt out of habit. He was watching a small boy near the swings who was doing something complicated with a stick and a pile of wood chips and appeared to need no audience whatsoever.

"Yours?" she asked, because the watching was the same kind of watching she was doing.

"Yeah." He glanced at her. "Yours?"

"Bottom of the slide."

The man looked. Scott had pulled his knees to his chest.

"Ah," he said, in a tone that didn't require elaboration.

"We just moved here," she said. "He's having a —" She stopped. Hard time felt too heavy. Adjustment period felt too clinical. "He's having a day."

"Noah," the man said, and offered his hand.

"Melissa." She shook it. "How long have you been in Beacon Hills?"

"Born here. My wife usually watches Mischief—er, our son. Mischief is just… fitting. Anyways, she’s out of town visiting her mom and brother.”

Melissa nodded as Noah continued, “They can be loud and don’t understand why our boy hasn’t found his words yet.” He shrugged, “They don’t get that they may never come.”

Melissa hummed, “Or just come late. Kids don’t run on schedules.”

Noah laughed, “Isn’t that the truth.”

Melissa looked at the small boy with the stick, who had abandoned the woodchips and was now crouched completely still, watching something in the dirt with absolute focus.


Scott noticed the other boy because he was loud without making any sound.

That was the only way he'd be able to explain it later, much later, when he had more language for things. The boy wasn't doing anything loud. He wasn't yelling or running or throwing things. He was crouched by the woodchips doing something very small and very focused. But something about him pulled at the air.

Scott watched him from the slide.

The boy looked up — not at Scott, just up, at a man standing near his mom. Their hands moved. Small shapes. First the boy, then the man and the boy grinned, shrieked a laugh, then he went back to whatever was in the dirt.

Scott slowly slid off the bottom of the slide and walked over. He wasn't sure why. His feet made the decision.

The boy looked up when Scott stopped beside him. He made the same movement with his hands and shifted slightly to the left so Scott could see too.

A beetle. Making its slow determined way across a wood chip.

They watched it.

Scott tried to remember what the boy had done before and failed miserably. The boy just shook his head and repeated the motion — thumb to his nose, or somewhere near it, drifting chin-ward, index and middle fingers up and crooked like antennae — and bounced them twice.

Scott looked at the hand. Looked at the beetle. Looked at the hand again.

He raised his own thumb to his nose. Put up two fingers. Tried the bounce.

The boy glanced at his hand. Nodded once.

Scott grinned as they went back to watching the beetle.


That was the whole first Saturday.

Scott hadn't spoken to another kid in months. Not really. He'd said things — excuse me when he needed to get past someone, yeah when a teacher asked if he understood — but that wasn't the same as talking. Talking to kids required something he didn't have a name for yet, some frequency he couldn't find the dial to. Before they moved here, he'd known how everyone moved within his world, what they meant when they said things, which silences were fine and which ones meant he'd done something wrong. Here he didn't know any of that. Here everyone was already a group, one he hadn't been there for the beginning of, and every time he'd tried to find a way in he'd felt it — a minefield he couldn’t see and was suddenly terrified to cross.

He'd stopped trying around day four. It was easier to be quiet than to keep feel like he was getting it wrong, even if that quiet was incredibly lonely.

But this? This wasn't trying. There was nothing to get wrong. The boy, Mischief he’d learned was his name when the man talking to his mom called it out, didn't speak and didn't seem to need Scott to, didn't look at him with a questioning glance to see if he was acting normal enough. He just made a shape with his hand and waited to see if Scott would make it back. That was all. The whole thing was just that — a shape, and a wait, and a nod if he got it.

Scott didn't have to find a frequency. He just had to watch Mischief's hands.

For the first time in months he didn’t have to pretend he was fine. He wasn't trying to be the right kind of new kid or saying things at the right time or managing his face for someone else's comfort.

The gray in his chest didn't disappear. Not right away. But it did go quiet in a way it hadn't since the move — like something that had been running very loud had been turned down low enough that he could finally tune it out.

He stayed until his mom called him to head home. He hadn’t even noticed the sun had set.


Melissa noticed on the walk home. Scott was humming.

He hadn't hummed since before the move.

She didn't say anything about it. Just held his hand and let him hum and didn't ask a single question.

He ate dinner that night and didn't say much and Melissa didn't push. He went to bed. He stared at the ceiling and moved his thumb to his nose and put two fingers up in the dark and bounced them.

He did it again.

He came back the next Saturday.

Melissa brought him, because she hadn't seen him want to go somewhere in months, and she wasn't about to question it.


The picture book appeared the following Saturday.

Laminated pages, soft at the corners from use. Each one: a drawing, a word, a hand. Mischief laid it open between them in the woodchips and they went through it page by page without preamble, without negotiation, as though this had always been the plan.

He would make the sign. Wait. Scott would try it back. Mischief would watch Scott's hands the way Scott sometimes watched his mom's face — checking if the thing had landed right, looking for what was underneath.

Water.
More.
Done.
Hurt.
Home.

Melissa sat with Mischief’s father. They didn’t speak a whole lot, just watched their two quiet kids somehow learning to play.

Noah had gone quiet in a way that Melissa could tell was relief by the way his shoulder's lost the tension they had been carrying.

Melissa had watched it happening — the gradual drift from polite stranger small talk into something that didn't require talking at all. They were both just watching.

"Does he do this a lot?" she asked eventually. "Teach people."

"He teaches me," Noah said. "Every day." He watched his son tap the back of Scott's wrist and demonstrate a sign a second time, unhurried. "His mom too. She's better at it than I am."

Scott learned tired on a day Mischief arrived already worn around the edges, slow and low to the ground. The kind of worn Scott recognized because he'd felt it every morning for months without having a name for it. Mischief made the sign without pointing at anything. Just made it — a fist moving from his chest outwards in a defeated motion. Scott didn’t need it explained, he could feel the shape of it from the movement.

They sat in the woodchips a long time after that and didn't do anything at all, and it was the least tired Scott had felt since before the move.


Melissa started learning by accident, the same way Scott did. Week by week new signs came and went.

"What's that one," she asked Noah one Saturday, watching Scott's hands move through something she almost recognized.

Noah looked up. His mouth did something soft.

"Happy," he said.

Melissa nodded as they both went back to watching their kids play.


Scott learned funny the week Mischief discovered what Scott's face did at pigeons being startled in front of them.

Two fingers bouncing off the nose, and Mischief shrieking with uncontrollable laughter as he signed it over and over. Scott couldn’t help but let the infectious laughter bubble out of him as he signed it back. They were both shaking with laughter, which meant neither of them were doing it right, fingers going everywhere, and neither of them cared even slightly.

He learned scared and loud and too much, which were three different signs that felt like the same thing a lot of the time.

He learned friend because Mischief just did it one afternoon, unprompted. A hand wiping across his chin, then crossing two fingers and making a circle in the air. Then he found out later it actually meant ‘best friend’ and that felt important.

Scott's chest felt like a window being opened.


Saturdays at the park quickly turned into play dates at each of their houses. Sometimes with Noah, sometimes with Claudia.

Melissa was mid-sentence when something toppled in the other room and both boys laughed — Scott's open and bright, Mischief's the shrieking giggle that had first pulled Scott off the bottom of the slide — and Noah looked up and whatever he'd been carefully holding in his face came loose in the best way.


Scott McCall learned ASL before he learned to ride a bike. Before multiplication tables. Before almost anything the school would later decide mattered.

He learned it sign by sign, in wood chips, from a boy who had found a whole language before he ever found his words — and who handed it over without hesitation to a quiet, gray-chested kid who hadn't known yet that there was another door.

The words came for both of them, eventually.

But the signs stayed. Underneath everything, some standard, some made up — the way foundations did.

When things got too big, the two boys could easily revert back to the quiet solitude their hands could provide.

Notes:

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