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-when bertie is sick he lays in bed like a sickly victorian child about to pass away from consumption. he has a head cold.
-bertie is SO loud in bed. The Wailer.
-jeeves sends texts with perfect punctuation and grammar and refuses to use emojis
-bertie uses emojis in every single text message.
-bertie always tries to use current slang but never in the right way. also DECADES behind on memes. he’ll send jeeves the blue and black/white and gold dress and be like OMG LOOK AT THIS
-will send Jeeves old optical illusions, like the rabbit and duck one, and be so impressed by them
-forces jeeves to do those magic eye pictures
-jeeves needs reading glasses and is ashamed of it (bertie absolutely adores them)
-jeeves does cryptic crosswords (bertie is ASTOUNDED everytime)
-jeeves usually repositions them so he is on the side of the pavement closest the road rather than bertie
-jeeves keeps photo albums meticulously organised by year
-jeeves is like bertie’s personal photographer. he leans against a random gate and is like ‘yes please paparazzi’ as jeeves takes photos
-bertie’s keys are STACKED with keyrings. he’s got a mini photo of him and jeeves, and souvenirs from every holiday they’ve been on (jeeves knows when bertie gets home since he can hear the obnoxious jingling as bertie struggles to put the right key in the lock LMAO)
-they love going to the park, sitting on a bench, and then going back home ♥️ perhaps even feeding the ducks
-jeeves runs christmas dinner like the navy. he bans bertie from the kitchen and has like ten egg timers set and ready to go
-jeeves’ screen time is like 45 minutes per day
-jeeves doesn’t understand tiktok and never will
-its jeeves’ job to tear bertie away from tiktok brainrot (save bro’s screentime 🙏)
-avid bake off watchers. bertie looks at the bakes and starts hyping jeeves up like ‘i’ve seen you bake much better than that!!!!’ and jeeves is like 🤭
-bertie screams at the tv when watching The Traitors, as if he wouldnt be the worst to ever do it if he was actually in the show
-if jeeves was in Traitors, no Traitor would be safe but I feel like he would be voted out early since he’s a genius and people always feel threatened by those
-bertie would get to the end, and either win by accident or get tricked right at the end. OH or get turned into a traitor late game and PANIC
-had to buy one of those hot chocolate velvetisers bc bertie is downing them like water during the winter
-bertie loves coming up behind jeeves when he’s making tea, and just plastering himself to his back
-bertie buys jeeves one of those ‘kiss the cook’ aprons, and jeeves allows it on occasion when they dont have guests, but GOD FORBID he buys one with a man’s six pack on it. its death will be swift and painless
-jeeves’ bookcase spans a whole wall. its legendary
-bertie’s feet are freezing at night and he is constantly trying to tuck them against jeeves’ legs for warmth (jeeves is practically a furnace)
-on their anniversary, bertie cooks breakfast in bed for jeeves. the toast may be a little burnt, and the tea a little too sweet, but to jeeves it is completely perfect
-slow dancing in the kitchen…. yeah.
-anytime a wallace and gromit film is on tv, bertie is SAT and LOCKED IN until it finishes (he tears up when gromit leaves wallace in The Wrong Trousers 💔)
-every bad graphic tshirt bertie buys is like a knife to jeeves’ chest
-bertie randomly starts recording jeeves at any moment (he compiles it into a cute video at the end of each year)
-jeeves knows everything about the neighbours (lowkey VERY nosey) but when bertie presses his ear against the wall to hear next door’s argument, he acts like he’s above such a thing
-if they ever got a pet, bertie would commission a painting of the animal as a king/general or something. also would do a serious family one and then a ‘silly’ one
-bertie forces himself and jeeves into photobooths to get those tiny photos of them together
-bertie’s got diabolical lime green crocs (with every hole filled with a weird charm) that he slides on to put the bins out/wander in the outside corridor and Jeeves HATES them