Work Text:
[CSM:]
The wonderful thing about basements
Is basements are flammable things
Their x-files are made out of paper
To which most accelerants cling
They brightly, lightly, spritely, nightly
Burn burn burn burn burn
But the most meaningful thing about basements
Is none of your concern
[MULDER:]
The wonderful thing about basements
Is basements hold only one desk
Providing some intimate placements
Should Scully feel somewhat burlesque
They're sneaky, leaky, creaky, freaky
Fun fun fun fun fun
But the most beautiful thing about basements
They scare off everyone
[SKINNER: (musical bridge)]
Basements are so unobtrusive
Basements are thankfully cheap
Federal funding's elusive
That's why there's no heat
[SCULLY:]
The damnable thing about basements
Is arson's a possible risk
Our files combust as though an ignitable liquid, judging by the burn patterns, was employed -- but forensics should determine through debris analysis and gas chromotonomy the precise cause
I hope we have saved them on disk
They're scary, hairy, incendiary
Done done done done done
But the most pitiful thing about basements:
The next ep's a rerun.