Work Text:
Slam.
Slam.
Slam.
Luz, one of the saviors of the Isles, discoverer of glyph magic, and septuple major of the University of Wild Magic, was currently jogging on a dreadmill in her home gym. Now, that wasn’t unusual for her at this point. Being a globe-trotting adventurer had turned her into a bit of an adrenaline junkie, and she found that intense workouts helped calm her thoughts.
The dreadmill beeped and Luz’s heart sank. Her head whipped down to look at the console, her eyes locking in on the center display. A glass display port with a brass-colored trim was embedded into it. Numbered tick marks on the glass counted down to zero and a green flame sat within the display. What had been a fist sized roaring fire had shrunk down to a thin, sputtering wisp.
“NOOOO! PLEASE, NO!” Luz wailed, already feeling the dreadmill slowing. This should have worked! Why didn’t it work?!!
She wished she were surprised. She could fill a book with everything that hadn’t worked the past couple days. She’d pumped herself for hours. Swallowed far too much castor oil for her own liking (i.e., any amount of castor oil). Eaten enough spicy food her mouth made the Isles feel like a freezer. She’d even gone through the portal back to the human realm to try acupuncture. All she’d gotten out of that colossal waste of money was a sudden and profound fear of needles.
After this, she was dragging Amity to their bedroom. She didn’t feel in the mood and it hadn’t worked the previous night, but maybe it would work this time. It had to. Anything but waking up pregnant for a third morning after her due date.
Her mind cast over to the heavy weights in the corner that her healer had told her, in no uncertain terms, were off-limits. Which wouldn’t be a problem if the reason for that wasn’t dragging his tiny feet!
When the dreadmill finally came to a halt the glyph-user cursed every deity she could think of, barring the ones that were part of her extended family.
…
Okay, maybe them too. She loved her brothers, but if King and the Collector had any part to play in her water still being very much intact then they could go to hell.
She hopped off the traitorously unhelpful piece of abomi-tech exercise equipment and grabbed her towel with a huff. As she toweled off her face, Luz began mentally counting down.
3…
2…
1.
Right on cue, Luz’s stomach and ribs received a fresh set of bruises. Looking down, Luz felt like her mother as she let out a tired sigh. For reasons she couldn’t fathom, her son loved running as much as she did. Or rather, he hated every second she wasn’t moving. Which unfortunately meant that he tended to wake up just as soon as she laid down in bed to go to sleep. Her nocturnal little mijo.
Despite everything, she couldn’t help but smile knowing her son was growing up healthily. She was just mad that he hadn’t taken said growth OUTSIDE of her abused abdomen. “Good morning, buddy. You sleep okay?”
Yes, he had been sleeping quite well indeed. So why had mami stopped rocking him?
“AAAGGH!” Luz hissed as alarmingly large protrusions made the top of her belly look like a bowl of jello. Yes, that was an exaggeration, but Luz felt that she was very much entitled to hyperbole at this point. “Mijo, please! Just come out already and I promise that you can run as much as you like!”
WAIT! Luz thought, a smile splitting her face clean in two. HUMAN REALM HOSPITAL!
Sure, she’d have to spend a lot of time updating her information given that she’d lived full time on the Isles for years and had all but dropped off the face of the earth. That didn’t matter though. A half hour filling out paperwork was worth it if it meant she could finally be induced. She was not going back to plead with her healer yet again to induce her. Yes, her birth plan had her going to Bonesborough Hospital for a traditional Isles water birth, but Bonesborough Hospital was insisting that they wanted to be “cautious” with her “literally alien physiology” and would only induce if she reached 41 weeks.
Needless to say, the birth plan could die in a trash fire for all she cared. She was NOT risking staying pregnant another FIVE DAYS. She was getting this baby out NOW.
A smile began to creep across the still expectant mother’s face. Yes. This… this plan would work. She was finally going to get this baby out of her!
“Hermosa?” A knock on the door pulled Luz out of her thoughts. Looking up, she saw her awesome wife, Amity Noceda, smiling at her. “I’m guessing based on your face that I need to call Bonesborough General?”
“Nope!” Luz chirped.
Amity’s face fell. The witch was, while not as desperate as Luz, still ready for the pregnancy to be over, eager to meet her son. Walking over, she grabbed Luz’s hand, giving it a tender squeeze. “I’m sorry, Luz. I thought for sure this would work.”
Luz laughed. Raising her right arm she flexed her bicep. While the pregnancy had prevented her from serious weight lifting for several months, her muscle definition taking a serious hit in the process, her upper arm was still an impressive 17 inches around. “I guess I shouldn’t be that surprised that Mijo wasn’t intimidated by a little exercise. It’s not like I have weak nerd arms anymore.”
Before Luz could mention her idea of going to a human realm hospital she watched in horror as her wife, eyes locked on Luz’s sweaty, glistening bicep, flushed redder than the human had ever seen before.
“Wow… m- muscles.” Amity squeaked, her ears fluttering like hummingbird wings.
“... Amity?” Luz asked, worried. “You okay?”
“Y- y- ye-” Amity briefly stuttered before falling over, her tomato colored head crashing against the ground.
“AMITY!!!!” Luz jumped up to help her wife only to double over in pain. Clutching her belly, she hissed through the pain as a warm slick saturated her gym shorts.
Luz, a beaming smile on her face, walked up to the front desk of Bonesborough General Hospital, a still-blushing but now very much awake and thoroughly embarrassed Amity cradled in her arms. “Hi! My water broke and my wife hit her head. Can we get checked in please?”
