Chapter Text
It was supposed to be a completely normal day in Ponyville. Nothing particularly interesting was happening today, and so Rainbow was mostly weaving through the clouds, practicing her moves. She caught sight of... something walking in the forest.
“Hey, uh, who are you?” The blue pegasus affronted. “Or... actually, what are you? Haven’t seen anypony like you before.”
The man held a book, a simple black one with the words ‘The Holy Bible’ inscribed upon it. “The Lord has sent me to this realm to spread the gospel, and help your souls in achieving salvation.”
Rainbow Dash paused briefly, trying to mentally process what she’d just heard. “...oooookay. Um. Could you explain that a bit... simpler?”
“As you so wish. I go forth in the name of our Lord, to spread His word among the people.”
The pegasus didn’t look particularly affected, but went along with it. “Huh. So you’re ‘the Lord’s messenger?’ Didn’t know we had any of those. That’s pretty rad.” She did a loop in the air, miming a sort of leaning-on-her-hoof pose. “Anything else I should know about you?”
“This book that I hold is greatly important; you must study it and let its truth dwell within you. Seek meaning and understanding of its pages, act in faith and love and you will come to understand the truth of our existence.”
“Cool, cool. Well, I hope you don’t mind if I introduce you to my friends,.. what’s your name again?”
“You may refer to me as Jesus. And as for you?”
The blue pony stretched in the air. “I’m Rainbow Dash. Here, I’ll introduce you to everyone! Follow me.” She disappeared in a flash of color towards Ponyville.
“Hey everypony! I brought us a new friend!” Rainbow was awfully excited as the man walked into the central plaza with her, still carrying that book. Applejack walked up and greeted him.
“Well howdy! Haven’t seen any...one like you before,” Applejack said in an upbeat tone, extending her hoof with a smile. Jesus nodded solemnly and shook it for a moment before withdrawing his hand. “Welcome to Ponyville!”
“It is quite a pleasure to meet you,” he replied. The earth pony nodded and smiled, adjusting her hat.
She was immediately followed by a bouncing pink pony, who was practically vibrating with excitement and energy. “Oh my goshohmygosohmygoshohmygosh! Hi! I haven’t seen you around here before! We should throw a ‘welcome-to-Ponyville’ party!”
“Pinkie, not everything needs to be a party,” Rainbow griped. Jesus nodded in agreement.
“Overindulgence is a dangerous thing. It is good to take enjoyment in life, but you must not prioritize it.” Pinkie Pie tilted her head. Rainbow shrugged.
“Eh, he just talks like that. You get used to it. He’s basically saying too many sweet things is a bad thing. Which, you know what? I can get behind that.”
Pinkie gasped. “Too many sweet things? There’s never too many sweet things! Just thinking about all the sweet things makes me excited! Doesn’t it make you excited ‘cause I’m so excited and this is all just so exciting!”
“We get it, Pinkie,” Rainbow sighed in irritation.
“There is nothing wrong in being excited, Rainbow Dash. All I mean is to take care not to lose yourself in happiness that does not last.”
Pinkie looked more than a bit miffed. “Alright, fine. If you don’t want a party, I’ll just have to show you how good they can be! I’m inviting everyone!”
“Hey, if you wanna time and place tell everyone here about your book, then I think Pinkie’s gotcha covered,” the blue pegasus joked. Applejack snorted with laughter.
“That she does, sugarcube.”
...
The party was... loud. And chaotic. And messy. But everyone was having fun, and Jesus seemed not to be too concerned with it, so everything was going pretty well if she did say so herself. He didn’t seem to bother too much with all the party activities but didn’t hold back from interacting politely with the many party guests, either.
Rainbow kept on looking out of curiosity at the man interacting with the ponies. “Oh, excuse me darling, I didn’t see you there. How are you doing?”
“Eh, pretty good, as usual. What’s up, Rarity?” Rainbow winced a bit at the outfit the unicorn was wearing. The indigo looked... good, but also quite a bit extra for something like this.
“Oh, I thought I’d just have a little fun at one of Pinkie’s parties. It’s been a while, and there’s a new visitor in town! Gosh, I hope I’m making a good impression.”
Rainbow shrugged and walked to the punch bowls, grabbing a cup. “Eh, I don’t think he cares all that much.” She took a sip, immediately coughing a little, recoiling at the sudden taste burning into her tongue. “Hey, what- what happened to it?”
“What happened to what?” Rarity walked over and inspected the bowls. “Oh! It’s wine; a fine delicacy from other parts of Equestria, though you shouldn’t drink too much. It’s an alcoholic beverage, you see.”
“Uh... Pinkie? Any idea on how that happened?”
The pink earth pony shook her head. “Nope! One moment Jesus was talking and the next, he just turned it all into this weird red stuff! It makes me feel funny... hehehe...”
Rarity facepalmed. “Oh dear. At least this party is going to be... interesting...”
It was interesting.
By the time ponies had started to leave, a semi-drunk Rainbow Dash came face-to-face with Applejack. “You really like that Jesus fella, huh?”
“What’s that look supposed to mean,” she slurred.
“Looks like somepony can’t keep her alcohol,” Applejack joked whilst sipping a wine cup of her own. “You seem to ‘ve taken a liking to this new fella. What’s that all about?”
“Mmngh... nothin’ really... just a cool... dude.”
Rainbow slumped onto Applejack, who just snorted with laughter. “Well, let’s see about that.” The pegasus very quickly lost consciousness afterwards.
...
“Good mornin’ Rainbow!”
“Where-?” Rainbow looked around in a panic. Her head was throbbing like hell and she was... in a pile of hay. Applejack was walking in, barn doors still swinging open.
“You awake, sugarcube? Ya had quite a night out yesterday.”
She rubbed her head with her hoof. “I, uh... guess so. Where’s Jesus?”
“Oh? Uh, Fluttershy said she had a spare bed.”
Rainbow Dash nodded. “Oh. Cool. Wait, was she at the party? I didn’t see her around.”
Applejack took a moment to consider. “Now that you mention it, I don’ think so. Mighty nice of her to show up afterwards to offer her house, though. But by the way, you, uh, sure he’s just a ‘cool guy’?” She said that last part almost mockingly, and it annoyed Rainbow to no end.
“‘Course I mean he’s just a cool guy! What else would it be?" She huffed and got up from the pile of hay. “I need to go now. Weather duty and stuff. See ya!” Rainbow dashed out of the barn and immediately took to the sky, refusing to dedicate any further thought on the matter.
“I think it’s a bit more than that,” Applejack muttered after the rainbow streak had faded. “Well! Time for chores.”
...
It was a very short flight to the center of Ponyville. Jesus was awake – he was there! – and preaching to a crowd of growing ponies eagerly listening. She just made out the last few words of his grand speech. “-kingdom of God is at hand. Repent, and believe in the gospel.”
A smattering of applause as he held the Bible in his hand. Rainbow snuck up to his side before he could start reading another verse. “Hey, whacha up to?”
“I am preaching to your townsfolk the value and information within the gospel. What of you, Rainbow Dash?”
“Pretty good myself. You doin’ anything else today? Other than... preaching? And stuff?” He thought for a moment, humming a quiet tune to himself.
“I suppose not. Would you perhaps be interested in studying the holy scripture with myself?”
Rainbow was a bit taken aback. “Uh-yeah, sure,” she stammered out. “Sounds good.” Her hooves only somewhat hid the growing flush on her face. “Now?”
“I see no problem in learning with the rest of your village.”
“Oh. Right.”
The next few hours were comprised of Rainbow trying her absolute hardest to stay awake while listening. Unfortunately for her, it wasn’t exactly an easy feat, but she also didn’t want Jesus to think she didn’t care, ‘cause she totally did. But okay, maybe it was a little boring.
Though she couldn’t just say that to his face in front of everyone! Right? She felt anxious, almost squirming in place as she thought of the possible outcomes.
What if he was offended by that? I mean, he seems pretty into the whole gospel thing, she reasoned internally, looking at the way he firmly held the crowd’s attention with his monologues. Or maybe it was a bit more like he was... reading them stories? Hmmmm. Maybe.
He was talking now about the origins of Equestria, and how his God had come to create all there was below – here. His voice was clear and carried across the town square even as the commotion of the day was starting to set in.
...
“Hey, Rainbow. Helpin’ out with the new church?” Applejack was back, carrying her godsdarned apples into the market.
“Yeah? What’s it to you?” The pegasus flew down and nabbed an apple before eating the whole thing in one bite. Applejack rolled her eyes, watching Rainbow Dash grab another block of concrete.
“Listen. I’ve seen you talk with a lotta people, but the way you go out of yer way ta help that Jesus fella... you sure it ain’t somethin’ special?”
Rainbow’s snout instantly went aflame in a blush that took hold over her entire snout. She turned away, placing down another concrete block and hiding her face without being too obvious about it. “Yeah. He’s just... a new friend. Nothing else to it.”
“I didn’ see you helpin’ me rebuild my barn when those Parasprites reduced it ta’ a pile of planks.”
“Okay, but that- that was different!” Rainbow said defensively, looking around for support. Pinkie was walking around but was also seemingly busy doing her own thing.
“Different how? Come on, Rainbow, it’d be much easier if you were jus’ honest with me. I won’ judge.” Ugh, fiiine, whatever. Rainbow figured that if anything, it would mean Applejack would just shut up about this whole thing.
“Fine, fine, I like him, are you happy?”
“Do you... like like him?”
The world started to spin as she considered the question a little bit, dropping the stone block harder than necessary on the mortar. “I- I dunno. Anyways, I have some other stuff to do, bye!” Rainbow was just about to vanish off to grab another block, but Applejack had grabbed her tail.
“Now hold on there, Dash.”
“What,” the pegasus snapped irately.
The orange earth pony rubbed her head, only adding to Rainbow’s inner fire of frustration and embarrassment. “I jus’ think... bein’ open with your feelings is the best way to approach the situation.”
Of COURSE. She’s the element of honesty, after all. “It’ll be fine. It’ll work itself out, you’ll see.” The doubt clawed at her insides, but she brushed it off to the best of her ability. “He seems like an upstandin’ guy. I think if you’re just transparent with-“
Pinkie Pie burst in. “Whatcha talkin’ about?”
“Nothing. I’m busy, Pinkie,” Rainbow said, looking away from her two friends. She really wasn’t in the mood right now.
For once, the pink pony took the cue, shrugged, and walked off. “Okay, Rainbow! Just tell me later!”
She rolled her eyes and sighed in irritation. “It’ll be fine, Applejack.”
“Well... if ya say so,” she shrugged, letting the issue go. Rainbow felt a mild irritation but kept her mouth shut; this conversation had been going on long enough anyways. “But yer gonna need to talk about it eventually.”
I know that.
...
“Ah, Rainbow Dash. I was looking for you.”
“Huh-?” She stumbled out of the cloud as it evaporated into thin white wisps, the world spinning for a moment as she regained her senses midair. “Oh. You, uh... need me?”
Jesus was holding his dumb little book, as always. Though I really shouldn’t call it- “I wanted to talk with you for a brief moment.”
“Oh. Sure, sure.” Her heart beat faster, blood rushing to her head as she tried to figure out what was going on. “What’s up?”
“I have noticed that... you seem to be rather interested in spending time helping me. I appreciate your work on the church earlier today; it was vital in the rapid construction of God’s temple of worship.”
She blushed a little at the compliment, barely hiding it with a turn of the face. “No prob. That’s what I do.”
“However, you are not so much interested in the lessons of God. So, what is it that makes you so keen to spend so much time with me?” Her heart was pounding in her chest now, making her feel hot in the face. She let out a nervous laugh.
“You’re just... a pretty cool... dude. Heh.” Her internal monologue was going wild despite her attempt at a calm facade. Sweet Celestia he knows. He knows. She tried to play it off. “Anyways, I think, I, uh, forgot something. At my house. Bye!” The pegasus disappeared in a flash of rainbow, towards her house. Jesus stood there in bemused shock.
Oh Celestia oh sweet Celestia that was so awful now he knows and he’s gonna think that I’m lame and weird, she thought as she crashed through the doors and into the fluffy cloud couch. Three days in and I’m already screwing up. Aaargh, you couldn’t even make it through a 5 minute conversation?
Rainbow looked around for a moment. She suddenly realized she had forgotten to feed Tank in all of the drama. Okay, okay, I’ll get on that.
It was a few minutes after she’d given Tank the lettuce he needed that she really thought about what would happen.
On the one hoof, Jesus could actually be on board with her whole thing, which would be awesome.
But that was kind of unlikely. On the other hoof, maybe it would make things awkward between them, but she didn’t think he was the type to make things any more painful than they had to be. Surely. Hopefully.
On the third hoof, things could really screw up and he’d... probably leave. For good. She was actually kind of scared of this outcome.
But she was running out of hooves, and so contemplated her options for a while. Why does this have to be so hard, she griped internally.
Eventually, after much internal strife, she’d come to a decision. Rainbow decided that she would tell him tomorrow, once she had prepared herself, and made sure that the worst-case didn’t happen.
...
Tomorrow came and Rainbow was not ready. Not even in the slightest. She thought back to Applejack’s words, though not without a little irritation as she realized that Applejack really had been right. “Hey, Jesus? Mind if I, uh... tell you something? I, uh, wanted to tell you- urgh, no, no, no!”
Her reflection stared back at her with a judgemental expression. “This won’t work.” She stared back into the mirror with a sigh.
Rainbow was stressing. Obviously. How was she supposed to tell him, of all ponies? ...not a pony, but same idea. She thought about what Applejack would do – AJ was always good at this kind of thing.
Frankly, the orange pony would probably go up to him and tell him. Or at least, that’s what she thought Applejack would do. And it was the most direct option.
Blood pounded through her body as she shook off any residual dread, flying to Ponyville in a flash of rainbow light. She then saw Applejack setting up shop, and decided to swoop in and grab a mug of cider. “Thanks!” The orange pony only rolled her eyes.
“You’re gonna hav'ta pay for that!”
At least the cider helped ease the tension a little. From her vantage point tens of meters above the central area, she couldn’t see Jesus anywhere – nevermind, there her was. As Rainbow made her way back down, Applejack walked over and clapped her hooves. “Is this the big moment we’ve been waitin’ for?” she asked half-sarcastically.
“Stop it, Applejack. But... yeah.” Despite her best efforts to stay composed, her voice wavered a little.
“Well, have fun an’ tell me how it goes.” She winked and retreated to her market stall, taking the half-drank cup of cider back, leaving Rainbow on her own to immediately burn up in embarrassment.
“Wh-hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” Applejack just waved her hoof at an irate Rainbow Dash. “Ugh, fine, I’ll just do it.” She shook off the creeping dread once more and approached the man walking out of the church with a tired expression.
He turned to look at her. “Ah. Hello, Rainbow Dash. Do you need anything from me?”
“Y-yeah. I, uh, just- wanted to tell you I think you’re really really cool and that I really really like you and stuff.” The pegasus automatically cringed as he processed the words that had tumbled out of her snout fast, too fast. “Uh. Yeah.”
“Do you mean to say... you hold romantic attraction... for me?” he asked curiously. Rainbow turned red in the face as she nodded, again hiding her face behind her hooves. It was becoming a bad habit.
“I see. In that case, please allow me some space to pray. I will return soon.”
Jesus abruptly disappeared into the freshly constructed church and retreated inside, gently closing the door. A feeling of twisting dread coiled inside Rainbow, something which she very much did not like and very much wanted to get rid of. Applejack walked over.
“So, uh... how’d it go...?” she asked.
Rainbow Dash pulled herself together. “He said he wanted some ‘space to pray’. So that’s probably a delayed yes, right? Heh...” She wasn’t convincing anyone, least of all herself. Urgh, now you realllly messed things up with him. Come on, Rainbow.
“I think he jus’ wants to think about it for a bit, is all. He’ll come out and tell ya what he thinks when he’s ready. Trust me, it’ll be alright.” Applejack handed her the half-cup of cider back, to which Rainbow sighed and put to her snout.
“Yeah. Thanks, Applejack. I was just... a bit nervous.” She put the cider mug aside. “And... not really nice.”
She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “No problem! We all get stressed out sometimes. Jus’ remember that all of us are here to help ya. Twilight helped me learn that one, heh. Besides, yer not the only one I’ve had to talk with the last few days. Hell, feels like I’m becomin’ everypony’s relationship advisor in recent weeks.”
“Wait-really?” Rainbow coughed on her apple cider. “Who? What? When?”
“Well, you’ll havta ask Rarity and Twi yerself if you wanna know. But for now, I think you should just calm yerself a little bit. Relax yer hooves, yaknow?”
Rainbow looked away with a bit of a smile. “Yeah... I guess I am pretty tired.” And maybe it would help me forget about the lingering dread. “...yeah. I, uh- thanks, Applejack. Really.”
“Ahhh, don’ mention it.”
...
“...Greetings, Rainbow Dash.” Jesus wasn’t holding his book, for once. “Would you mind coming on a walk with me?” Rainbow jumped from where she was sitting.
“Uh- I- sure,” she stammered out. She hated the way her snout was already turning red, how she couldn’t seem to resist the mystery of this man with the book, but held it together. Just for him. “You, uh, thought about it a bit?” she asked hopefully.
“Yes. I have also conferred with the Lord about our predicament. But after a few hours of prayer, He has listened to me and passed on his judgement.”
She could feel her own heartbeat quicken. This is the part where he says if he really feels the same. Or walks away forever. Rainbow felt like she was being held in limbo as they both made their way over the hill and in front of the fiery orange sunset.
Jesus sat down on the grass and gestured for Rainbow to do the same. “He has spoken, and said He looks forward to seeing what will become of our union.”
Rainbow Dash took a moment to process the information. “S-so that’s a yes?” she clarified. Jesus smiled back at her.
“Indeed, Rainbow Dash. I shall be devoted to you in love and honor you above myself.”
“I-I, uh, will do that too. Yeah. Sounds good.”
“Well then, why do we not take a moment to appreciate God’s creation?” Rainbow leaned against the sitting man as the pair stared out into the sunset, watching the sky slowly turn to a dark, hazy blue.
A thought struck Rainbow. “Hey, did Applejack know about this the whole time?”