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‘Cause I see you lying next to me, with words I thought I’d never speak, awake and unafraid, asleep or dead.
I am not afraid to keep on living. I am not afraid to walk this world alone.
“Honey, if you stay, I’ll be forgiven.”
Nothing you can say can stop me going home.
Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance
“How has your progress been, Stefan?” The woman’s voice was kind and understanding.
Befitting of her job as a therapist.
One leg crossed over the other in an elegant pantsuit, and her eyes were locked on the vampire, swathed in the appearance of a young man.
He sighed quietly, eyes closing briefly.
“Better than I expected, honestly,” He admitted to his own surprise.
“How so?” His therapist, Dr. Manning, asked, leaning back in her seat. “Explain this to me. How is it better than you expected?” Her head cocked to the side, and sunlight scattered in rainbows from her white-blonde locks, curled and tucked behind pearl pins elegantly on her head.
Stefan marveled at how much younger the woman was than him.
And yet, she regarded him in a nurturing motherly manner and radiated wisdom.
Wisdom truly didn’t come with age.
The thought struck him as funny, and he uttered a chuckle that he disguised with sheepishness and rolled his thumb down his nose, knuckle of his forefinger resting against his chin.
“Honestly, I didn’t think that therapy could help me,” He began slowly as the woman’s eyes watched him with the intensity of a bird of prey.
“I thought I was too damaged or broken,” The vampire continued.
His therapist sat forward, leg uncrossing and began her gentle reprimand.
But he held his hand up to silence her so he could carry on.
“I know, I’m not damaged or broken, just in need of guidance, you said that when I arrived at your door earlier this year, unable to speak through my own pain.” Stefan gifted her a gentle smile.
“It was surprising, really, finding someone so filled with compassion and a capacity for understanding. And someone who could help me with my specific issue.”
Although he hadn’t exactly gone into specifics.
She hadn’t been informed of him being a vampire, over one-hundred years old, or that he’d been addicted to blood.
The addiction, on the other hand…
“But, in you, I found something I thought I couldn’t,” He concluded. “A listening ear and guiding words. And for that, I thank you.”
“Of course,” Dr. Manning nodded, her lips curved into a smile, one that wasn’t quite friendly, but still warm and compassionate, “You are my patient.”
And there it was.
The firm boundary.
Stefan saw it, heard it, felt it.
She wasn’t his friend.
She was his doctor.
He sat back and nodded in solidarity.
Boundary set.
“So, tell me how you feel about the progress you have made,” She picked up her clipboard and pen.
“Today,” Stefan drawled thoughtfully, elbow resting on the back of the couch, “I didn’t think of them until now, actually.” He said of his ex-brother and his ex-girlfriend.
“Cutting ties completely can be difficult,” His therapist acknowledged softly. “But in some cases, they are necessary.”
He recalled how she’d attempted to convince him to do so when he first arrived in Depoe Bay to change his number and block Elena and Damon.
But he couldn’t.
He left his phone the way it was, just ignoring the calls, texts, and threats to track him down.
When the final part happened, he finally destroyed the phone and bought a new one, blocking them as soon as the number had been set.
“Have they attempted further contact?” Dr. Manning had asked in the present.
“No,” Stefan shook his head. “I think they realized that I was sincere when I told them I would leave.”
His voice was hollow, reflecting the void within.
“I am sorry for the pain you are going through, but this is necessary. You won’t become who you want to be if you live inside the shell of the past. The metamorphosis cannot occur without the shed. You know this.” She replied, gently but firmly.
“I know,” His voice cracked along with his heart.
“And you are doing so well,” She assured him. “Look at where you are now. You have a new home, a new job, and you are making friends. As well as progress.”
Stefan inhaled and exhaled deeply, nodding in silent agreement.
“Tell me about them,” Dr. Manning requested gently.
His eyes raised to hers.
At the end of the hour, a lightness came over him, stripping away the heaviness of the past.
Stefan felt a small smile forming on his lips.
The faint praise his therapist had given him had struck him.
He had improved greatly.
When he’d arrived in the town, the pain of knowing that the girl he loved had fallen - not only for someone else, but his brother.
It was crippling.
But once he broke the surface, he wasn’t drowning anymore.
And he’d spent much of his time just being.
And, as Dr. Manning had requested, he allowed himself to sit in the same space with the pain, to acknowledge it, embrace it, and let it go.
Doing so had opened up his eyes to the fact that he had it wrong.
He didn’t need to live for Elena.
Or Damon.
And it was time he started living for himself.
“So, what does Stefan Salvatore want for himself?” Dr. Manning had asked him before their session ended. “That’s a question I would like an answer to, next time.”
What does Stefan Salvatore want for himself? He wondered as he pushed his hands into his pockets and wandered down the street.