Chapter Text
The Old Oak meetup. Zee knew it wouldn’t end well. Zuzy had always complained that Zee was ‘always being a bummer.’ A pessimist, not that Zuzy even knew the word. Her unease that entire day was seen as invalid, so she’d try to brush it off and play with Zuzy and George every time she’d be dragged out to. They were outside playing tag when Pony and Player returned. Her stomach dropped the second she realized it was just the two of them. She’d already known.
“Where’s Zizzy?” Zuzy asks, confused. Zee’s eyes fall over to Mimi and Giraffy, both looking like they’re going to be sick.
“She isn’t with us,” is all Player can manage.
Zuzy’s brows furrow, her eyes rapidly darting between Player and Pony. Tears well in her eyes, and Zee sees her twin dash off in her peripheral vision, but her eyes are stuck on Pony’s miserable expression. She’d never been a crier, but she feels her lip quiver. Her hands clutch the pink fabric of her dress on either side of her, and her legs move on their own. She wraps Pony in a hug with all the strength her little body can manage. He kneels, a quiet, shaky exhale escapes his lips as he returns her hug, softly brushing her hair with his hand. She knew he needed this. Or did she need it? Feelings get confusing for her.
Once Pony lets go, the adults all go inside, and when she declines their invitation to follow them, she’s left outside with George. He looks at her, and she returns his glance.
“You want me to go with you? I assume you’re gonna go check on Zuzy.” George asks, his brows furrowed in concern. It’s not the first time he’s experienced a great loss. She wonders if he cares about this as much as she does.
Zee shakes her head, her heart nearly beating out of her chest.
“I’ll check on her myself,” She signs. George’s family had learned ASL when they’d realized he’d been deaf in one ear, just a precaution in the event his other ear would be affected over time. She’s always been glad to have someone who understands her, other than her own family.
“Okay. I’m sorry that this is all happening.” George mutters, attempting to give his condolences. Zee nods gratefully, understanding it’s hard for him. She walks with George into the house.
She hates the energy that fills the safe place. It doesn’t feel so anymore. Death and loss were now engulfing the world, but she believed she’d be okay in the confines of these walls. She believed her family would be okay. Now, death invades the one place she felt secure in, taking her oldest sister with her. Selfishly, she wishes it could have been anyone else. It guilts her even to think such things.
Zee knocks on the door to her shared room with Zuzy, pressing her ear against the door. She decides to go inside when she hears nothing. Inside, there’s no trace of her twin. She realizes instantly where she’d gone. She walks over to Zizzy’s room, peeking inside. She finds Zuzy curled up in the blankets, crying quietly. Zee’s stomach feels hollow, forcing out manual breaths as she shuts the door, walking deeper into the room. She feels trapped, looking at each of Zizzy’s belongings. She crawls onto the bed next to Zuzy, wrapping her arms around her. Zuzy lets out a choked sob, shaking her head.
“Why didn’t they bring her back?” Zuzy asks, voice cracking. “There has to be a mistake. Maybe they just got split up? Maybe that’s why the grown-ups are so scared? Maybe they feel bad for losing her!” She turns to Zee, tears streaming down her face as she spills out poor explanations that could settle the confusion and hurt. Her own eyes begin to sting, seeing Zuzy in such pain. She wonders if Zizzy was in pain. The idea of her sister slowly turning into one of those monsters all alone—She gasps out, realizing she wasn’t breathing. Her eyes go wide as she remembers her sister in front of her, who’s now the one hugging. “It’s okay,” she mutters, “We still have each other…you’ll always have me.”
Zee pulls away, smiling through the tears welling in her eyes. She quickly blinks them away. “You’ll always have me too,” she signs with shaking hands. Then, she crawls under the blanket beside Zuzy, resting her head on her twin's shoulder. Her stomach still feels hollow, but it’s eased slightly knowing she can stay close to the sister she still has. Still, her mind wanders to what they’ll do without Zizzy. How will life change? Even worse than it already is?
She doesn’t have time to overthink a future she does not know of, because a knock on the door invades the quiet that the twins share. The door creaks open, and Pony steps through. He looks enervated as he walks over and sits down beside the girls.
“Hey,” Pony greets them quietly, “I’m sorry I didn’t come check on you girls sooner. I had some things to talk to grown-ups about.” he looks around, fingertips tracing the fabric of the blanket. His eyes land on the photo of Zizzy and the twins. He smiles sorrowfully. “She loves you guys a lot. You know that, right?” He turns back to them, and they both nod. “I’ll tell you guys everything that happened in the morning. You two need rest. But, I promise you, it’s all going to be okay. Zizzy is going to be okay.” Pony tells them. “Do you guys want to stay in here for the night?” he asks them. Zee nods, and Zuzy lets out a quiet yes. “Alright, goodnight, girls,” Pony gets up.
“Wait!” Zuzy says quickly, sitting up, causing Zee to fall off her shoulder. She sits up as well. Pony’s eyes meet Zuzy’s, and she lets out a shaking breath. “Can you stay with us in here? Just until we go to bed?”
Pony’s eyes soften, and he nods. “Of course I can. Do you guys want your bedtime story like usual…?”
Zuzy turns to look at Zee, who simply shrugs. She isn’t in the mood, fearful that this horrible moment in time might ruin the comfort of a nightly bedtime story. Sure, Pony was almost always the one reading it, not Zizzy, but it still won’t feel right. But, if it’ll make her sister feel better…she wouldn’t mind hearing it.
“Yeah, I want it,” Zuzy replies, with a tired smile.
“Okay, I’ll go grab the book from your guys' room,” He says, leaving the twins alone again.
Zuzy turns to Zee, hugging her tightly. “See? It’ll be okay…we just need to be strong.”
Does her sister truly believe Pony’s words? Does she want to try to force herself to stay as optimistic as she is? Will it help? Zuzy pulls back, looking at her expectantly. She forces another manual breath, the pit in her stomach returning to its original state. She doesn’t want Zuzy to be let down if things continue going wrong. They’re in the heart of death, the world ending. It’s a guarantee. She can’t ever imagine how her sister, her identical twin, could be so different from her. So naive. Yet, she finds herself nodding, forcing a smile, validating such naivety. She’ll deal with the consequences later.
Pony enters the room again, book in hand. Zuzy curls up closer to Zee, ready to listen. All she can do is force herself to put on the facade of being okay. Not only for Zuzy’s sake, but Pony's as well. He’s clearly suffering and is going to have to help both himself and Zuzy. Zee doesn’t want to add to this mess. So, she curls up with her sister, reciprocating her affections. Pony opens the book, beginning the chapter they’d left off on.
. . .
Zee’s startled by George sitting on the couch in the living room, the moonlight being the only light source. He has a small item in his hands and jumps when he looks up and sees Zee.
“Oh, my god,” George says with a gasp. “Sorry, I didn’t see you. You scared me.”
She sits down on the couch beside him, the moonlight hitting her. She realizes the item George has is a small photo. She assumes his family. “You scared me, too. I didn’t know you were still awake. I couldn’t sleep,” she says.
“How’re you feeling?” He asks softly. “I know after…everything with my family, I couldn’t sleep for a long time. I get it.”
She pauses, unsure how to answer. Did she even know her own feelings? She settles on a small shrug.
“Well, what about Zuz?”
“I think she’s doing as well as anyone can.” Zee signs, “Her and Pony are asleep in Zizzy’s room. Does Player know you’re out here?” she wonders.
“Yeah, sometimes they come down here themself. Alone time, yknow? The quiet is helpful.” George informs her.
“Yeah,” Zee confirms. “If I’m interrupting, I can leave,” she tells him.
“No, it’s fine. We can…sit in silence together? I mean, there isn’t much we can do this late at night.” George suggests with a shrug.
“I have a question, actually.” Zee signs quickly.
“Oh, sure,” George says.
“Were you able to hear what all the adults were talking about? When Pony and Player came back, I mean.” Zee questions. “I think,” her hands pause, eventually proceeding, “I think it’s one of the reasons I can’t sleep. Pony said he’d tell Zuzy and me in the morning, but I hate being left unsure.”
George’s mouth opens, as if to speak, but closes. “I did,” he manages, “I know what happened, but are you sure you don’t want to wait for Pony…?” he asks quietly.
Zee nods firmly. She’ll finally get the answers she’s been needing. Every time she’d look at Pony, every word while reading Zuzy to bed, she’d wonder why he just wouldn’t tell them what happened at the Old Oak. Losing their sister was bad enough, but being left not to know why? Even just for a moment, it only made her feel worse.
George tugs at the fabric of his sweater anxiously. “Well, I couldn’t hear a lot, since I wasn’t supposed to be listening, and all the grown-ups were being quiet…” he explains, “But, I guess to sum it up, the meetup was a trap, like you thought. Apparently, the survivors were some gang that Pony used to be in. I think they said the leader wanted revenge? Something about Pony being a traitor,” he pauses, looking solemn. He takes a shaking breath, “so they took Zizzy, and when they found her, she was infected.”
Okay, so maybe she feels worse than she did before. Why hadn’t Pony said anything about a gang? A gang?! She’s just filled with more questions now, but George has given her all the info he could hear. She just believed that…it was just some accident…but, to hear someone had intentionally done this? It makes her sick. Death holding the world captive wasn’t being caused solely by the infected. Unfortunately, it’s something that she should’ve expected. Maybe she’s just as naive as her sister.
Her head drops, eyes staring at her thighs. She feels dizzy, thoughts scrambling. George quickly gives her a soft shake of the shoulders.
“Hey, I’m sorry,” George apologizes. “I’m so sorry.”
Zee slowly looks up at him, then shakes her head. She brings up her wobbly hands, forcing them to move. “This isn’t your fault. I asked for answers…I think I’m going to try to sleep now,” she signs slowly.
“Are you sure you’re gonna be okay? You can sit with me if you want.” George says.
She shakes her head again. “I’m okay. Just enjoy yourself. Make sure you sleep eventually.”
George's lip purses, and he sighs. “Okay. Goodnight, Zee.”
She gives him a weak wave, turning to begin the trek to her room, trying to focus on her breathing. She’ll leave Zizzy’s room to Zuzy and Pony.