Chapter Text
Nobody had ever developed a crush on Ueshima Souta.
That was a fact he’d accepted long ago, even before he’d befriended his current crush, Iseya Nao.
Wait, correction: the boy he currently loved. Loved in much more than a platonic, friendly way; in fact, even saying that Souta was “in love” with Nao felt like a grave understatement.
The devotion he felt for this boy made his chest ache in the most addictive way any living being had ever experienced. Every time Nao smiled at him—whether it was a shy, uncertain smile or brighter than the stars above—warmth flourished through Souta’s chest and spread through his veins, fully encompassing him like a blossoming flower inside his body, blended with the dizzying sensation of fluttering butterfly wings.
Souta preferred the latter smiles, but not only because Nao looked beautiful when he was happy; Souta knew that those smiles were reserved for him, and him only. He was the only person who could pull those brilliant displays of joy from the seemingly straight-faced Nao, and Souta cradled that privilege in his palms and treasured it with his whole heart.
Unfortunately, despite not being straight-faced, one straight attribute remained true about Nao: his sexuality.
One didn’t need to be a genius to understand why that was a problem. Souta, woefully, was not a girl.
However, Souta had made peace with that reality. He cherished Nao in any form he could get him, and if they were destined to remain friends until the very end, he’d be happy.
Souta loved watching Nao’s improvement. He enjoyed being the encouragement Nao needed to step out of his comfort zone. He’d always relish that proud sensation when Nao did something that scared him, and perhaps gained a few new friends in the process.
Like recently, after Nao sang on a stage in front of an audience. He’d met a new friend backstage who shared the love of his favourite bands, and even made plans to hang out with them. Arashi, he called them.
Nao deserved someone who could relate to him on a deeper level than Souta ever could, and Arashi seemed to be that person.
Souta would always stick by Nao’s side, regardless of their label. The important thing was that Nao felt loved and cared for, and if platonic love was all he wanted from Souta, he would gladly give it to him.
Even if his love for Nao ran substantially deeper than platonic.
➢➢➢
Souta, admittedly, was curious about Nao’s new friend. Nao claimed that he and this Arashi person would get along, and Souta’s outgoing nature demanded that he meet this person to find out how true the statement was.
Perhaps he’d ask Nao to introduce them later.
Lately, his mind had been flooded with Nao. Any other thoughts that tried to creep into the forefront of his attention were instantly replaced with the boy with fluffy black hair and a smile worthy of being displayed in a museum, and Souta was absolutely basking in the glow of it all.
Souta typically didn’t allow himself to indulge too much in his fantasies, but… recently, Nao had been sending some… perplexing signals. From Nao admitting that he never hated Souta—that he joined the soccer team because of Souta, to Nao picking Souta up from his shift and preparing the materials he needed to complete the festival decorations, to…
Do you want to try it? Kissing.
Souta quickly reburied that memory.
Though, he was starting to think that, perhaps, Nao meant that question after all, and Souta… Souta fumbled, hard. The following “just kidding!” from Nao’s lips echoed in his head like a pissed off malevolent spirit haunting his every waking moment. Did Nao only backtrack due to Souta’s lack of an immediate response? Due to his initial shock?
No point in dwelling on the past, he supposed. After all, the most prominent memory in his mind emanated a much more radiant quality; the scene replayed so vividly every time he closed his eyes, and his heartbeat never failed to begin thundering…
He could have sworn Nao almost kissed him at the festival. He was willing to bet money on it. His hand tenderly holding Souta’s cheek felt so warm and safe. They’d invaded each other’s personal spaces to that degree before, but that time felt different. The world had disappeared around them, and suddenly, they weren’t in a classroom; Souta wasn’t dressed as a clown, and their lips seemed to gravitate toward each other with each passing second…
However, the moment ended as quickly as it came. Nao was correct in his hypothesis that Souta needed makeup remover, but the clown makeup was inconsequential when Souta almost kissed Nao.
No, no. That was only his imagination running wild. He wasn’t a mind reader. He didn’t know for certain that Nao almost kissed him.
Maybe he’d ask about it today… or, maybe he’d chicken out. Regardless, Souta was enveloped in bliss after the recent developments with Nao, and could barely see anything around him. Which, admittedly, was not a particularly good thing, considering he was currently roaming the halls of the school.
When he descended the stairs and rounded the corner, he spotted Nao, talking with Takeo and Shin. With a warm, fluttering chest, he called out the dark-haired boy’s name.
“Nao!”
“Nao-kun!”
Souta froze.
Nao-kun?
Souta didn’t recognize the girl who rushed past him, but whoever she was, she had grown close enough to Nao to be on a more familiar name basis with him. Not on Souta’s level, but “Iseya” was found dead in a ditch.
Nao turned his attention to her first, considering she dashed up to him and clung to his arm before Souta was even granted a chance to walk a few steps toward him.
As Souta sauntered closer, he overheard their conversation.
“There you are! Did you see my text?”
“No, what’s up?”
She threw up two fingers. “Guess who secured us seats at a certain café?”
A certain café? As in, a café she and Nao had already discussed? Possibly while hanging out the other day…
It was only a café. No big deal. Friends visited cafés together all the time. He and Nao had gone out for lunch at cafés a few times in the past. Eating together was a common activity for platonic and romantic relationships alike.
Souta slowed to a stop before the two. Nao seemed not to notice him, his eyes only fixated on Arashi, with wonder sparkling in the pools of brown.
Souta’s mouth formed a thin line, and his eyes darted between his crush and his crush’s new girl friend (yes, the space was a crucial distinction), internally battling the feelings of unease and confusion bubbling up in his chest.
Nao’s eyebrows shot up. “Really? I thought they were fully booked!”
Arashi grinned. “I put myself on the waiting list.” She wrapped her manicured hand around Nao’s bicep. “Rock’N’Roll Café, here we come!”
Souta didn’t have time to overthink her touchiness, as Nao finally noticed his lingering.
“Oh, Souta,” he greeted.
Souta blinked, but managed to wave his hand, albeit stiffly. “Hello…”
“This is Ueshima Souta,” Nao told the girl. “He is the one who—”
The girl spun to Souta with a delighted grin, effectively cutting Nao’s words off. “Wait! You’re Ueshima-kun?” Her hand flew to her mouth in a display of giddiness. Then, she leaned into Souta’s personal space and pointed at his chest, nearly stabbing him with a colourful fingernail. “I’ve been wondering when Nao-kun would introduce us! Your clown costume was adorable!”
Ah, wonderful. Just what Souta needed for his self-esteem: someone who remembered him only as a clown, and nothing else. At least she wasn’t recognizing him as Genki-kun, so… silver lining, he guessed.
Wait, adorable? Souta didn’t know if he should have taken that as mockery, or… a compliment. Nevertheless, his face heated in embarrassment before he could stop it.
“Oh my god, you were hilarious!” she added while Souta stood in stupefied silence. “I loved your performance! I can’t believe it wasn’t scripted! You’re so good at improv!”
Souta finally found words, but they were more akin to pleasant sounds to let her know he wasn’t a threat than an actual attempt at conversation.
“Haha… yeah… thanks…”
Nao evidently didn’t detect his uneasiness. Instead, he gestured to the girl. “Souta, this is Arashi Rina. The music club member I met backstage. She’s been pretty excited to meet you.”
Oh. So this was Arashi. She was… objectively pretty and lively. Probably smart, too. Her long, pale hair bounced whenever she moved, and she exuded jubilance unlike anything Souta had ever seen from a person before. Her beaming smile was all perfect teeth as she threw up a peace sign and said:
“Nice to meet you, Ueshima-kun!”
“Yeah…” Souta said, wanting to be polite, but also not having a clue how to respond. Was it nice to meet her? Souta couldn’t deny the nerves swelling up inside his chest, but would he go as far as to say meeting one of Nao’s new friends was an unpleasant experience?
He wasn’t sure.
“Anyway,” Arashi said as she turned her attention back to Nao, “come find me after class. I’ll be downstairs doing homework.” Her eyes found Souta again. “Bye, Ueshima-kun!”
She spun and disappeared down the hall, her hair flowing elegantly behind her, and Nao gave her a small wave as a farewell. Souta noticed Nao’s demeanour shift, only slightly, but he’d known Nao long enough to notice these subtle changes. His hand lowered slowly, his fingers curling almost into a fist, and his eyes drifted to the floor…
Souta almost had a moment to question if he was alright. Almost. Of course, Takeo, who had been uncharacteristically docile throughout that entire exchange, decided it was finally his turn in the spotlight.
Takeo hooked his arm around Nao’s neck, tugging him close. “You dog!” he cried, scandalized. “You’re going on a date?!”
Nao shot him a panicked look. “What? No! It’s not like that!”
“Yeah, right!” Takeo accused. “Spill it!”
“Spill what?!”
Nao seemed genuinely confused. As if, he genuinely thought of Arashi as a friend, and he had no interest in going on a date with her.
…Currently, anyway.
No, Souta. Stop it. You need to believe him. He wouldn’t—
“Wow,” Shin said as he watched Takeo practically strangle Nao, trying to pry an answer from him that didn’t exist. “One performance, and he already has a girlfriend.”
“No, he doesn’t!” Souta denied. “He said it’s not like that!”
Shin held up his pinkie, the same way Keisuke had when he asked if Souta and Nao were dating. The Japanese sign for “lover”. A sly smirk lingered on his lips. “Yet.”
Souta lowered his brows. “N-No,” he denied again, sounding more uncertain this time. “She’s just a new friend.”
Souta gazed at Nao, who was still struggling in Takeo’s unrelenting grasp. His demands of “get off!” fell on deaf ears.
She is just a new friend… right…?
➢➢➢
Meeting Arashi plagued Souta’s thoughts more than he’d care to admit. The exchange was brief and fleeting, but the words uttered, and small actions and subtleties in expressions left a stain in Souta’s mind—incessant and undoubtedly there, even when he tried to focus on something else.
The something else in question, currently, was walking to work. The job he’d applied for when he decided to save up to buy Nao a pair of concert tickets to one of his favourite bands. Souta didn’t know the band as well as Nao did, but attending a concert together would be worth it to watch the sheer euphoria on Nao’s face as he witnessed one of his idols live, singing and breathing in the same room as him.
The conversation earlier had replayed incessantly in his head the entire train ride. He’d hoped that when he started walking, he could put his mind to something else, like paying attention to his surroundings so he didn’t drift into the street.
However, the universe clearly had a vendetta against Souta, and would have preferred if he were a human pancake in the middle of the road. A pancake more focused on the hypothetical love life of his rival-turned-best friend-turned-crush than his own well-being.
What bothered him, though, was confusion over Arashi’s behaviour toward Souta himself. She’d called him adorable, attempted to compliment his improv skills, and apparently had been asking Nao to introduce them. Even if her attempts at compliments came off as patronizing, Souta couldn’t say for sure if they were, or if she was ignorant of her tone.
But then, there was her behaviour with Nao…
Inviting him to meet her after class to do homework together. Planning a hangout at an evidently super popular café. Running up to him and clinging onto his arm when she spotted him.
“One performance, and he already has a girlfriend.”
Souta shook his head to rid himself of such thoughts. Shin’s voice was the least welcome thing in his head right now, since he was trying to convince himself that Nao wasn’t going to get into a relationship so soon after he and Souta had fixed their friendship.
He needed to constantly remind himself that Nao hadn’t yet shown any romantic interest in Arashi. Souta was happy, even relieved that Nao finally had more music-loving friends. As much as Souta dedicated himself to countless hours of researching Nao’s favourite bands and listening to their discographies several times in the same week, he would never feel that love as passionately as Nao did.
Nao needed more friends, and Souta was the one who inspired him to reach out more. He should have been over the moon that Nao found a friend who was seemingly perfect for him.
Souta was fine.
One new female friend wasn’t going to sour Souta’s entire mood every time she appeared out of thin air.
Nao had said that Arashi and Souta would get along, and even offered for Souta to join their hangout. So, evidently, Nao wasn’t going to forget about him.
In the end, Nao still chose to hang out with Souta despite all the new friends he’d been making. From assembling a study group, to assisting with Sunday Blues when they needed emergency backup members, Nao always gravitated back to Souta. That likely would not change with Arashi.
Nao would always come back to Souta.
He hoped.
Even if Nao and Arashi started dating, everything would be fine. Souta would be fine.
As long as Nao was happy, then Souta was happy.
Whether Nao ended up with Souta, Arashi, or someone else entirely, Souta would be happy for him.
No matter what Keisuke thought, Souta would be perfectly fine when Nao inevitably entered a relationship.
With Souta, or otherwise.