Chapter Text
Shane's POV
Shane rolled over his right arm, searching for Ilya and only finding an empty bed. He opened his eyes and glanced at the clock. It was 8:30 am, and the smell of coffee was permeating the Montreal apartment house. Shane thought Ilya just being a few hours away would make things easier, but still, him leaving always hurt. They had four beautiful days in Montreal, but today was Ilya’s last , and he needed to finish packing, and finish some emails for brand deals his mom had sent over. He threw his arm over his eyes, blocking out the sun.
“Dobroye utro, lyubov' moya.” Ilya’s voice was still full of sleep.
“Morning!"
“Morning? Not a good morning.”
“Good morning is reserved for when my fiancé is still in bed with me when I wake up,” Shane grumbled, removing his arm to look at Ilya. Ilya stood there holding a cup of coffee and a cup of tea.
“Oh, so I try to bring my fiancé lovely surprise, and he grumbles at me. Maybe I go drink my coffee alone.” Ilya laughed, turning to leave the bedroom.
“Noooo, Ilya.” Shane groaned. “It's our last morning together for 7 weeks!”
“I know.” Ilya sighed, coming back to bed and setting the drinks on the bedside table and crawling back into bed. He moved to grab the steaming mugs when Shane pulled him back to bed.
“Five more minutes. I want to savor this.” Shane burrowed his face into the junction between Ilya’s neck and shoulder.
Coffee and tea lay forgotten and cold beside the bed as five minutes turned into an hour,and gentle caresses turned into lovemaking, turned into a post sex nap, and it was 1 pm before he even realized it.
“As much as I would love to keep you in bed all day. We do have things we need to do today.” Ilya said, kissing his nose.
“I know. I just don’t want you to go back to Ottawa” Shane groaned.
“We can always have your trade go into effect early.” Ilya offered, tossling Shane’s hair.
“No! It’s just so lonely here, and ever since I came out, they all treat me so differently. I knew it would be bad, but I hoped it wouldn’t be this bad...I kinda-I don’t regret us. I don’t regret loving you, but I regret coming out to them.” Shane groaned into Ilya’s chest.
Ilya was quiet. “I still want the names of those homophobic assholes before our next game.”
“We’ve talked about this.” Shane sent him a glare.
“I just- I love you so much, and you are my lifeline. You are survival! You are reason to smile and reason to laugh. I hate that I can not just scream from the housetops. SHANE HOLLANDER IS MY FIANCE, AND I AM GOING TO MARRY HIM BECAUSE HE HAS A WONDERFUL MOUTH AND HE MAKES ME HAPPY!” Ilya punctuated his last words with little kisses all over Shane’s freckles, eventually kissing his lips.
“Come on, we need food and to finish those folders my mom sent over,” Shane stated firmly as Ilya started kissing his neck.
“Must we?” Ilya looked up at him, placing a kiss on his cheek.
“Yes! You need to get back to Ottawa at a reasonable time tonight.” Shane groaned
Ilya did not leave at a reasonable time. They kept getting distracted and by the time everything was packed and ready to go it was 9pm.
“I should just spend the night and leave early tomorrow.” Ilya was saying following Shane down the stairs
“No, we’ve already talked about this. It makes the most sense for you to leave tonight.” Shane countered.
“Please?” Ilya turned his blue eyes on Shane, doing his best to look pitiful
“No, Ilya, and don't use your puppy eyes on me."
“Ugh. You kill me, I am dead. My love doesn’t love me anymore.”
Shane bit back the laugh and grabbed his fiancé and kissed him soundly. They end up making out in the stairwell for another few moments before Shane finally pulls away. “You really, really need to go.”
“I know.” Ilya kissed him one final time, but Shane made no move to take his hands from Ilya’s hips, keeping him firmly in place.
“Be careful, let me know when you get home, the roads are so windy, and watch out for deer and moose. I know you drive fast, Ilya, please be safe.” Shane emphasized his words with kisses across Ilya’s face.
“I have made many times, I know to be careful on the curves lyubov' moya” Ilya assured.
“Oh, and we had that bad storm, so watch for any trees hanging low,” Shane added.
“And I’ll call you if you get sleepy, because you will be awake until I get home anyway,” Ilya said, kissing him once more, taking words out of Shane’s mouth
Shane smiled, but they didn’t reach his eyes. They had gone through these motions every time they parted ways, the pleas to drive safely, the I love you’s and text me when you get home
“You don’t need to worry! I will be fine.”
“Let me worry about you.” Shane ran his fingers through Ilya’s curls and cupped his cheek. “I like being allowed to worry about you.”
“I know.” Ilya leaned into his hand. “It is nice to be worried about.”
Shane walked back into his empty apartment and fought back the tears, leaning against the door. It wasn't like it used to be; they would still text and call, but seven weeks felt impossibly long. He looked around the apartment, there were blankets unfolded on the couches, dishes in the sink, and all reminders of Ilya. Shane found himself folding the blankets, clearing the dishes and stripping the dirty sheets and placing down fresh ones. As he went through the motions, flashes of Ilya in his mind, replaying the phrases in Russian, trying to translate them, remembering what it's like when Ilya’s hands were on him. He thought back to all the years he wasn’t allowed to worry about Ilya when he didn’t have the right to ask him to text him when he got home. His phone vibrating brought him out of his thoughts.
Incoming call from Lily
“Hey, baby!” Shane said, “Miss me already.”
There was a soft silence, “Yes,” Ilya admitted.
“I miss you too,” Shane replied, his chest actually aching with how much he missed him
“What are you doing?” Ilya asked
“Starting the laundry and making the bed,” Shane answered, setting his phone on the bedside table, shoving one of his many pillows in the pillow case. “How's your drive going?”
“Uneventful, no one is on the roads, so it's pretty easy.”
“That’s the one pro of driving at night,” Shane said while smoothing the flat sheet.
“Will you read me the next chapter of your boring Hockey history book? It will bore me awake.” Ilya questioned; there was a vulnerability in voice, one that was there anytime Ilya asked for something he thought inconvenienced Shane.
Ilya had been pretending he didn’t like hearing his “boring book” Shane had been reading a book out loud recently, “to help Ilya with his English,” but Shane thought it was just so Ilya could hear his voice more.
“Of course. Let me finish making the bed.” Shane said.
Soon he was nestled in bed, in fresh pajamas, and his glass on and opened to the next chapter began to read. A few hours later Ilya made it home safely, and they fell still asleep on the phone. Shane’s final thoughts as he drifted off, it felt good to worry about someone.