Chapter Text
Katsy always zones out when Caine decides to redo the "theme song", although she's never understood its purpose anyways. Maybe it serves as a roll call of sorts, who really knows. Regardless, she certainly wasn't prepared to get knocked to the ground from behind. Popping her head back off the ground, her eyes lock onto something (or someone?) new. A pale jester with red and blue mishmashed clothes.
"Caine, is this one of your NPCs or is this a new sucker?" Jax calls, exasperated, "'Cause if it's a new character, we're gonna have to redo this whole theme song."
"I'm not doing that again," Zooble says.
Katsy tilts her head, and leans forward slightly to get a better look at the jester. Vaguely, she hears Caine's excited voice cry out:
"My my, it appears a new human has entered this realm!"
But she felt much more focused on the newbie, who was… pulling on their face and eyes like that would do anything to help. She hears more talking, but doesn't pay attention. The squash & stretch properties of the jester's model are oddly entrancing, really.
"Who are you people? Why can't I take it off? WHERE AM I?" the jester - Katsy really wishes she had something else to call them - yells.
Ragatha strides forwards, clasping her hands together, "Let's just try to calm down. Everything's gonna be okay, new stuff. We've all been through this. You just need to get your head to—"
"WHAT THE [HONK] IS GOING ON??? … What."
Katsy giggles, "You sound like a truck horn."
"Now, now, now, my dear!" Caine says, zooming down closer to the jester, "We can't have any of that foul language around here. The Amazing Digital Circus is a place to be enjoyed by ALL ages! You, my friend, stumbled into an incredible world of wonders, where anything can happen!... E-except for swearing."
The sheer amount of cartoon sound-effects in Caine's library are impressive, and Katsy is always reminded of that when someone new tests out the censor. People keep talking, but an interesting floor texture has caught her attention. It looks like it's supposed to be wood, but it just looks like oddly shaped tiles. That, and it appears to be clipping slightly through a different texture. She pokes at it, circles it, then pokes at it again, before her attention is grabbed by Jax's voice.
"-Stuck here for years! Ol' Kinger over there's supposedly been here the longest-"
As though summoned by the sound of his name, the man in question pokes his head out of his pillow fort, "Huh, did somebody say something about an insect collection?"
"-And Katsy practically grew up here. That's why they're crazy~. Heh."
The jester's eyes flicker to scribbles as they start to hyperventilate - before cutting off with an over-exaggeratedly cheery voice:
"Oh, okay, now I get it!" they laugh a bit hysterically, "This is a dream! And I should just play along until I wake up, right?"
"…Whatever you say, kid," Jax responds.
Katsy may or may not zone out again, staring at Zooble. You can't prove anything, what are you, a cop? The next thing she notices is the sound of retching, as the jester vomits all over the floor.
"Woah, clean up on aisle you!" Caine exclaims.
"I'm on it, Boss!" Bubble starts to lick up the puddle.
He doesn't get to do much to clean it up though, as Katsy launches herself at him with her mouth unzipped and teeth flashing. The two instantly dissolve into a fight, kicking up non-existent dust for comedic effect as they tussle. Distantly, over the sound of growling and hissing, she hears a conversation:
"Wait, wait. Was that an exit door I saw out there? Is that a way to leave?" the jester asks.
"What exit?" Jax replies, grabbing one of Zooble's arms to scratch his back, "If there was a way to leave, I'm pretty sure we'd have all left by now."
Zooble grabs him by the neck, knocking the rabbit to the ground as he chokes, before saying, "Yeah, what are you talking about?"
"Uh-uh-I—" Caine stammers, "I assure you there is no 'magical exit door.' You're probably just experiencing DIGITAL HALLUCINATIONS! From your mind's transition to the digital plane."
Bubble finally pops, and Katsy collapses to the floor in a heap.
"But, I-I swear I saw—" the jester is interrupted, as Caine quickly speaks over them.
"DIGITAL HALLUCINATIONS!!!"
He floats nearly motionless, save for the tapping of his fingers against his leg, then flies up into the air in a rush.
"…How about we talk about something else? Like your name!"
'Uh oh.' Katsy already knows where this is going.
"My name? My name is uhh… UUHH! OH, GOD! WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER MY NAME!?"
'Yup.'
"Nobody can remember their name once they enter the Digital Circus! One of the few things I don't have control over are your minds! So all I can help you with is coming up with a new one!" Caine exclaims, over the soft mumble of the jester saying something Katsy can't quite make out, "Don't you worry your little head. Your new name can be anything!…"
Caine starts speaking extremely fast, which he does sometimes. Like a medicine commercial on TV listing side effects. Words start to turn to goopy mush in Katsy's ears. She knows people are still talking, but she can't make anything out.
"You! Do you like adventure? Activity? Wonder? Danger? Horror? Pain?Suffering?Agony?Death?Disease?Death? Angel food cake?"
'Huh? What's going on?'
"What? No, god! I don't want an in-house adventure!" Zooble complains.
'Oh, did I miss today's adventure announcement?'
"Don't worry, Zooble. I'll make it something unobtrusive that you can still choose to not get involved with!" Caine reassures, before teleporting himself above the stage.
"Today's adventure is... Gather the Gloinks! AhahaHAhHAHAHHA— That's right! The entire circus tent will be infested with Gloinks, and you gotta catch 'em all!"
"But what are they?" Bubble asks.
"I'm glad You asked, Bubble, they're small—"
"And what do they do?"
"They-"
"And how do they—" Caine pops him.
"Gloinks are small mischievous critters that steal anything and everything they run into! Why do these humanoid hash-browns do this? How do you stop them? That's for you to find out. Now, good luck, and have fun, my little superstars!" Caine disappears with a 'poof' sound and a cloud of dust.
Silence reigns for a moment.
"…What did any of that mean?" the jester — oh fuck Katsy missed their name — asks.
Ragatha laughs nervously, "Oh, that's just one of Caine's little adventures. They're just… something fun to do to, you know, prevent us from going insane…"
"Speak for yourself. If anyone needs me, then [WEE-OO] off," Zooble flips them off — which is also censored — as they walk away.
Unfortunately for them, the Gloinks decide to make a grand appearance, and disassemble Zooble to carry them away.
"Oh God, oh jeez, NO! OH GOD! SOMEBODY HELP!"
They all stare after the retreating Gloinks and Zooble.
"Oh no, they killed Zooble," Jax drawls, "Anyway, you guys wanna go get something to eat?"
"…Oh wait, we should go check on Kaufmo! I'm pretty sure he'd like to meet Pomni!" Ragatha pipes up — 'OH that must be the jester's name!'
Katsy's attention is stolen from the conversation by the sound of more Gloinks disassembling something, followed by a loud shout from Kinger.
"MY IMPENETRABLE FORTRESS!"
Whoops, looks like they took the pillow fort away. Katsy misses what Ragatha says, but she does catch Kinger's response.
"No, not really. I think Kaufmo's gone insane. Last time I spoke with him, he was rambling endlessly about some exit. Kind of like you, Pomni! You might be going insane too."
"BUT WAIT!" Pomni says, "Wouldn't that more likely mean the exit DOES exist?"
"Could also be a…" Katsy pauses, and turns to Ragatha, "Whats the word for when multiple people hallucinate the same thing?"
"Folie à deux?"
"Yeah that," Katsy turns back to Pomni, "So like uhh. Probably still not real. Or someone else would've stumbled over it by now. Y'know?"
Jax butts in, "Could also mean that you just have a jump start on losing your mind!"
Katsy nods, "That too."
Pomni slowly starts talking again, "Well, I think I'd like to ask him about it, IF this was real, which it isn't, because it's a dream," she punctuates her statement with a strained smile.
Katsy stares off into the middle distance again. She can hear something making noise, but she can't pinpoint where. Her attention is caught by a collision sound.
"Ow! Okay, I've already had enough of these things," Jax sighs, "You—" he points at Ragatha, "—me, and Pomni will go check on Kaufmo, which leaves crybaby—" he points at Gangle, "—and the hoo-hahs—" he points at Kinger and Katsy, "—together to go handle the Zooble situation."
Ragatha laughs a little and mutters something to Jax that Katsy can't hear.
"Of course I do!" Jax replies, "They're the three most mentally stable and capable characters to be put together."
As he says that, Kinger starts violently shaking around like a rag doll, and Katsy trips over her own tail while walking over to him and Gangle.
"Come on, ladies, let's go harass the clown," Jax says, heading off towards their rooms, Ragatha and Pomni following after him.
Katsy pulls herself back off the ground, and hears Gangle mumble something, before Kinger shouts, which in turn prompts Katsy to shriek.
"GAH!"
"AUHG!!"
"Oh, Gangle," Kinger says, much calmer, "You startled me."
Katsy stares down into the hole, as dark as the cellar, while Kinger and Gangle stand just slightly behind her. Distantly, Zooble screams.
"I don't know what I'm looking at here," Kinger says.
"We saw a Gloink carry one of Zooble's pieces down there, remember?" Gangle replies.
"Oh, yeah. Thank you for the recap."
Zooble continues to scream. Katsy tosses a nearby physics object down the hole.
"Boy, we're not very good at this, are we?" Kinger asks.
The three of them stare silently at the hole for a while, before Katsy's ears pick up on approaching footsteps and panting.
"Ugh… Sup, fellas?" Jax sounds out of breath, did he run here?
"JAX!!! We found the Zooble hole!" Kinger shouts.
"Cool."
"How's Kaufmo doing? I hope he's not still mad at me for not laughing at his jokes," Gangle asks.
"He still owes me five dollars," Katsy adds.
"Oh, he's doing great," Jax responds, "In fact, I don't think I've ever seen him this happy before!"
"Well, it's good to know he hasn't completely lost his mind," Kinger waves his hands around his head as he speaks.
Katsy's ears twitch at the same time that Jax looks over his shoulder. A distant, distorted growl sounds. Her eyes narrow. 'That sounds like…'
"He actually asked me to give you this!" Jax throws a bowling ball at Kinger, which knocks him back into the hole.
Unfortunately, he grabs Gangle and Katsy's legs on the way down, dragging them with him. The ride down the hole is a bit of a blur, full of disorienting sounds and movement and lights. By the time they come to a stop, they've tumbled into a heap next to some kind of large worm thing. The thing eats a table, and spits out more Gloinks from its other end. Yuck.
"I don't know how to feel about this," Katsy mutters.
Kinger's eyes go wide, "An insect collection?!"
"I think it's a nest," Gangle says.
Kinger turns to look at her, blinking out of sync. Then he screams, which makes Katsy scream.
"AA—!"
The worm-thing cuts them off, "What form of non-Gloinkinian mass dares presume presence in the nest of the Gloink Queen?"
"Oh, is that who you are?" Jax asks sarcastically, "You know, you could have asked for my consent before forcing me to see something so completely and utterly disgusting."
"How despicable, a rabbitoid that runs its mouth in the presence of my royal figure!"
Kinger cuts into the conversation, "Well, as a royal myself, I would like to kindly ask if—" before getting distracted, "—oh, look there's Zooble! Hi, Zooble!"
"AUGH! HELP ME, YOU IDIOTS!" they yell.
Jax crosses his arms and looks away, "Kinda rude, Zooble. Now I don't wanna help you."
Katsy blinks. She sees Kinger and Gangle play rock-paper-scissors out of the corner of her eye. Gangle loses, as always, and Kinger hops up to go get Zooble.
"Gotcha!"
It doesn't work. Zooble's head — and now Kinger's hands — keep moving towards the Gloink Queen's mouth. Whoopsie-daisy.
"Oh."
"Hey!! KINGER YOU MOTHER—" Zooble is cut off by the Gloink Queen eating them.
Gangle shrieks nervously, but Jax seems unbothered.
"Eh, they'll be fine."
Katsy hears an odd noise, and turns to see a Gloink with a glitching texture phasing through the ground and spazzing around. 'Huh. That normally only happens if—' Her train of thought is cut off by the Gloink Queen.
"You foolish assortment of colorful characters! Do you not realize everything must be Gloinks!? I am Gloinks. You will be Gloinks! God will be Gloinks!"
Katsy and Jax speak over each other:
"That's against the rules."
"This is dumb and weird."
The Gloink Queen stutters, "Well, B- uh- Y- You're still watching it!"
"I'm not here for the adventure or anything I'm just here to hide from the—" Jax's reply is cut short by an abstraction smashing through the roof of the cave and into the Gloink Queen.
'Oh. Yeah that explains it.'
"What's happening!?" Gangle shouts.
"It's just Kaufmo," Jax responds, "Don't worry about it."
Gangle's hands fly to her face, "Kaufmo abstracted!?"
"Nah, he's fine."
"YOU'RE RIGHT! HOW ARE WE GONNA GET OUT OF HERE!?" Kinger shouts.
"AUHG!" Katsy shrieks.
"Guys, over there," Zooble says, motioning with their head towards an escalator leading up.
"Huh."
They walk over to it, Katsy reaching it just after Gangle gets on, and they slowly begin their ride up to the surface.
"Wait… Pomni's not even here!?" Zooble says, "Wasn't this whole thing for her?!"
Jax interrupts them, "Be quiet. I can't hear the escalator."
As soon as the escalator reaches the Circus, the group runs over to where Caine is floating above the destruction of the main area.
Kinger shouts up at him, "Caine! Kaufmo went through a sort of Kaufmosis and abstracted!"
"Kaufmo abstracted? Why didn't anybody tell me?" Caine sticks out his tongue with a set of exaggerated cartoon sound effects.
Pomni — 'Oh I hardly noticed her there among the mess' — looks up at him with worry and concern etched on her face. Caine snaps his fingers, summoning the abstracted Kaufmo over his head, before lowering him into the cellar.
"And into the cellar you go!"
Zooble's body walks up to Kinger, and takes their head out of his hands, reattaching it to their neck with a dejected expression.
"Man, I can't believe Kaufmo just gave up like that," they sigh, "I mean, no offense Kinger, but I always thought you would be next."
"Thank you," even without a mouth, a smile is still audible in Kinger's voice.
"Guess it just goes to show you can't rely on Kinger for anything," Jax scoffs.
Katsy's ears twitch as she hears the sound of glitching collisions approaching.
"I-I-I-I am in so-o-o much pai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ain!"
"Oop!"
Caine snaps his fingers, and Ragatha's model is restored to normal. She gets up and walks over to stand next to Pomni. Katsy can tell something must have happened, though, because they're not looking at each other, and they both seem very upset.
"I do have to apologize for… lying about the exit," Caine says, "I knew how much all of you have been wanting there to be one, but… you know, I was having so much trouble figuring out what to put on the other side and ended…up…never…quite…finishing…it. A-and you know how I never like letting people see my unfinished work — especially if it leads you out into the void. Anyway, it looks like you defeated the Gloink Queen, so I guess the adventure's over. Your reward is a delicious digital feast cooked by our head Bubble Chef!"
Bubble shows up, and starts talking, but… gets jumped by Katsy again before he can actually say anything.