Chapter Text
Cold, late-winter light spilled in through the window.
Lily sat on her bed with her legs tucked under her, staring down at a copy of the Daily Prophet spread across her knees. The parchment rustled softly with every small movement, the only sound in the room.
She’d read the same paragraph three times now.
Another attack.
More names.
Another place that had been just a dot on a map not long ago and was now somewhere people would avoid, somewhere they’d talk about in lowered voices.
She looked up from the page for a moment. The snow-covered grounds beyond the window were almost painfully bright.
For now, it all still felt distant, unreal, wrapped safely outside the walls of Hogwarts. But in less than two years…
The door slammed open and she nearly jumped as her dormmates burst in, laughing.
“Look what we’ve got!” Mary called from the doorway, waving something bright pink in the air.
Lily frowned, pulled abruptly from her thoughts, and for a second wasn’t even sure what she was looking at. Then it clicked.
“Oh. Right. When are those Valentine’s things again?”
“Tomorrow,” Mary said, as if it were obvious. “You can drop cards into the box in the Great Hall today, and they’ll be delivered tomorrow.”
The girls shrugged off their school bags and let them fall wherever. Dorcas and Mary sprawled out on the floor in the middle of the room, while Marlene dug a bundle of colourful quills out of her trunk. A pile of pink, heart-shaped cards spilled out on the floor between the three of them.
“You can only send Valentines on these,” Mary explained. “They’re trying to avoid a repeat of last year. Remember? Someone tried to lace the cards with a love potion, messed it up, and a dozen girls ended up in the Hospital Wing with scales on their hands.”
“How was that even supposed to work?” Dorcas asked. “You’re meant to drink Amortentia.”
Mary shrugged. “Love makes people stupid.”
Lily rolled her eyes and dropped her gaze back to the paper, scanning for the line where she’d left off.
“Lily, come on! We’ve got cards for you too!” Dorcas said when she noticed Lily had no intention of joining them. She held out a violently pink card to her.
“I can think of at least one boy who would kill for a Valentine from you,” Mary added with a wink, leaning over Marlene’s shoulder as she carefully wrote out her first card.
“Davies?” she asked, incredulous. “The one from Ravenclaw? Didn’t think he was your type.”
Marlene shrugged. “He sits behind me in Potions. He’ll be more likely to help me in class if he thinks I like him.”
“And what if he asks you out?”
Marlene waved a hand dismissively. “Have you met him? He’d never work up the courage.”
“You’re awful.”
“Oh, please. I get better grades, and he gets to brag that I sent him a Valentine. Everyone wins.”
Mary shook her head and picked out a card in every possible shade of pink. She spread them out in front of her, chewing on the end of her quill, deep in thought. Even Lily couldn’t help commenting.
“Careful, Mary. Someone might think you actually like them.”
“Who are all those going to?” Marlene asked.
“One for each Quidditch captain,” Mary said. “I’m creating many options for myself.”
“I'm afraid none of them will be interested if they find out you sent one to all of them,” Dorcas pointed out.
“Oh, please,” Mary scoffed. “You know what boys are like. As long as I write something nice and not a joke, they’ll be too embarrassed to show it to anyone.”
“If that’s the case, I wouldn’t count on them having enough courage to ask you out,” Dorcas said.
Mary ignored her.
“I want to date a team captain. I might as well make the most of the fact that, at the moment, all four options are reasonably good-looking.”
Marlene shot Lily an amused look and discreetly tapped her temple. Mary caught it anyway and stuck her tongue out at her.
“Maybe I’ll send one to your Davies too, so he forgets all about writing your essays for you.”
“In that case, I’d better send one to Remus as well. He has good grades too,” Marlene said, circling her hand over the still-impressive pile before picking out a pale pink card. “Lily, come on! Look, I’ll lend you the glitter quill,” she added, showing off one of her cards with shimmering lettering.
Lily eyed the quill that had landed on her bed, then let her gaze drift over her friends — their bright eyes, their laughter, the faint blush on Dorcas’s cheeks she was clearly trying to pretend meant nothing.
And suddenly, she wanted to be part of it.
To pick up the glitter quill. To scribble some ridiculous little poem, add a few hearts, imagine the look on some boy’s face when he read words written in her hand… Just for a moment let herself sink into that easy, careless sort of girlhood they might not have much time left for.
She eyed the newspaper still lying beside her and then pushed all thoughts of it firmly to the back of her mind. She turned the aggressively pink card over in her hands.
But who would she even send it to? There wasn’t any boy in Hogwarts who had really caught her attention.
You’re lying to yourself, her mind supplied immediately.
She frowned, because... fine. There was one.
Which was exactly why she shoved the thought away at once.
She’d sworn that she would sooner sing an opera in the middle of the Great Hall at dinnertime than admit — to anyone, and especially not to herself — that a single warm thought about Sirius Black could exist in her head.
And yet.
She remembered that moment perfectly.
It had been last spring, during a Quidditch match. Lily didn’t go for the game itself — she wasn’t particularly passionate — but for the atmosphere. That day, somehow, she along with Marlene, Dorcas, and Mary had ended up sitting in the same row as Potter’s personal cheerleaders. Sirius, Remus and Peter were twice as loud as everyone else put together, and despite sitting so close to them Lily had quickly tuned them out.
Until, barely fifteen minutes into the match, James spotted the Golden Snitch. The Slytherin Seeker, who had been hovering nearby, immediately gave chase, but it looked like a done deal. James had a slight but clear advantage in distance, and he was taller, with a longer reach. Except the Slytherin didn’t seem interested in catching the Snitch at all. Instead, he adjusted his course and began nudging Potter sideways — lightly, but with unmistakable intent. James, forced to avoid crashing straight into the stands, had no choice but to veer off and abandon the chase altogether. The Snitch vanished a moment later, uncaught by either Seeker and the game went on.
A collective groan rippled through the stands as Gryffindor’s chance at a quick win slipped away and there wasn’t even anything to blame it on. No foul, no dirty play. The Slytherin hadn’t so much as touched James or his broom, nor could anyone accuse him of flying with the intent to collide.
Even Lily felt a flicker of disappointment.
Then, cutting through the muttering, came an unmistakably delighted voice.
“That was beautiful! Brilliant!”
Lily turned, startled, to find Sirius applauding, openly impressed by the manoeuvre of the player who had very nearly sent James crashing into the stands. People nearby shot him dark looks — it hardly needed saying that cheering for a Slytherin in the Gryffindor stands was very much frowned upon. Sirius, however, couldn’t have cared less. He kept shouting praise toward — it took Lily a second to realise — his brother.
Later, she tried to explain to herself why she hadn’t reacted like everyone else — rolling her eyes and turning back to the match. What exactly had she noticed, all of a sudden, that caught her attention?
After all, he always had a smile plastered on his face.
But that one had been… different. Not ironic, not meant to charm his way out of trouble. It had been genuine. And, annoyingly, quite pretty.
After that, every now and then, she’d let her gaze linger just a little too long on his stupid, slightly-too-long hair, whenever he pushed it back absent-mindedly, only for it to somehow fall right back into place around his face as if it had been arranged that way on purpose.
Fine, so she thought he was handsome. But that didn’t mean anything. And it certainly didn’t mean he deserved a Valentine from her.
On the other hand… sending a card wasn’t exactly a grand declaration. It didn’t have to mean anything more than it was.
Oh, for heaven’s sake. It was all just for fun. Why was she overthinking it this much? No one would ever know what she wrote, or who she sent it to.
She lowered the quill to the card, forming the words in her head.
“Lily!” Mary squeaked. “Who’s it for?!”
Lily sighed as every pair of eyes in the room snapped to her.
“It’s a secret,” she said vaguely, but she should’ve known better than to think they’d let it go.
Marlene leaned onto her bed, craning her neck to peek at the card, even though Lily hadn’t written anything yet.
“Is it for Potter?”
“Have you lost your mind?” Lily arched a brow. “Or do you think I have?”
“Well, it’s not for Snape, is it?” Marlene pressed, a note of disdain in her voice.
Lily didn’t comment. Whatever friendship she’d once had with Severus was long over, but she wasn’t about to make fun of him, either. Still, she no longer felt the urge to leap to his defence.
“Is it McLaggen?” Mary guessed.
“What McLaggen?” Lily frowned.
“The one from Hufflepuff!”
“Who is McLaggen from Hufflepuff?”
“I hope it’s not Remus, I’m running out of ideas,” Marlene said.
“Is it one of the prefects?” Dorcas tried, narrowing it down.
“Is it? Just say it’s not Remus,” Marlene added.
“We won’t judge!” Mary promised solemnly.
“All right,” Lily sighed at last, raising her hands to quiet them. “I’ll tell you. Honestly, I’m surprised you haven’t noticed already.”
They fell silent at once, her serious tone catching their attention, and leaned in expectantly.
“It started a while ago. At first I tried to ignore it, but the truth is, I think about this person all the time. Day and night. I can’t get them out of my head. And I can’t keep it to myself anymore.” Lily lowered her gaze shyly. “This card… it’s for you, Mary.”
Dorcas and Marlene burst out laughing, while Mary looked deeply offended.
“I’m sorry, I wanted you to find out in a more romantic way!” Lily added, briefly lacing her fingers with Mary’s.
“You’re not funny,” Mary declared, even though there was a smile tugging at her lips. “I told you who I’m sending mine to!”
“It would’ve been easier to list who you’re not sending them to,” Dorcas said, picking up one of Mary’s cards. “He’s not even a captain! Are you writing to Seekers too?”
“To who?” Marlene perked up immediately. “ To Potter?”
Lily leaned back against her pillow, relieved that Mary’s ambitious romantic strategy had successfully redirected everyone’s attention.
She picked up the card and quill again, turning them over in her hands as she considered what to write. She wasn’t about to compose rhymes or attempt to be a poet. Your hair is like raven feathers? Like a winter night sky? Please.
In the end, she shrugged. Simple would do. Let Sirius think whatever he likes, she wasn’t signing her name anyway.
I’d like you to know that…
She winced immediately. Why was she starting so formally? But too late now — she wasn’t wasting another card over something this trivial.
Your smile is always pretty, but when it’s genuine, I can’t look away, she wrote quickly, heat rising to her cheeks. It was true and somehow that only made it worse.
So… I hope this card makes you smile.
She read it over and had to resist the urge to bury her face in her hands. Maybe she should have gone with something about ravens after all.
And, annoyingly, there was still plenty of space left. But did she really want to add anything else? She chewed lightly on the end of the quill. Maybe she’ll just draw a few hearts.
She lowered the quill to the paper, hesitated, and then changed her mind at the last second. Oh, for heaven’s sake. You only live once. She reminded herself once more that it would stay anonymous, and added one more line.
You give me that stupid butterflies-in-my-stomach feeling, and it’s actually quite nice.
She considered softening it, making it sound more like a joke, but Mary’s words came back to her. The more sincere it sounded, the less likely Sirius would be to show it to his friends. And maybe that was for the best.
Instead of a name, she drew a small heart where the sender should be. Her hand hovered for a moment over the space for the recipient. But she didn’t let herself overthink it again. She pressed the quill to the paper and quickly wrote Sirius’s name.
As soon as the ink dried, she folded the card and jumped to her feet. She was already at the door when Marlene’s indignant voice reached her.
“Wait! Are you seriously not going to tell us who it’s for?”
Lily didn’t stop. She headed straight for the Great Hall, slipping the pink card into her sleeve. She had the sudden, urgent sense that she needed to send it immediately.
It wasn’t that she thought her friends wouldn’t respect her secret — she knew they would, but she also knew that if she didn’t do it now, she’ll talk herself out of it later. And somehow, throwing the card away after writing it felt even more embarrassing than sending it.
The Great Hall was still mostly empty — there was plenty of time before dinner. She spotted the box by the doors right away, something she hadn’t even noticed earlier. No one was hovering around it just yet, but Lily knew that didn’t mean much. Valentine post was popular every year. Anyone sneaking down in the middle of the night to send theirs unnoticed would probably be in for a surprise.
The card slipped into the box without a sound. And suddenly, a new kind of embarrassment crept up on her. Because why did this matter so much? Why was her heart pounding like that?
It was done. Written, addressed, sent. The whole thing was practically over already, something to forget about.
She turned around when she heard hurried footsteps just outside the door.
“I’m choosing to remain mysterious,” she said as her friends caught up.
Marlene narrowed her eyes.
“I’m still betting it was for Potter,” she said playfully, tossing all her cards into the box in one go. “And if it was for Lupin, I swear I’m copying off you and I won’t even feel bad about it.”
Meanwhile, Dorcas darted forward and slipped her own card into the box as quickly as possible, as if afraid someone might catch her holding it.
Mary watched the whole thing with a raised eyebrow.
“What are you all so embarrassed about?”
“You hid yours in your pocket!” Dorcas shot back.
“So I wouldn’t lose any of them,” Mary said. “Do you really think I’m going to hide sending them?”
She cast a bold look around the Hall, as if making sure there was a proper audience. Then she pulled the first card from her pocket and raised it high above her head.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I am sending a Valentine!”