Work Text:
Why?
Why him?
Why Buck?
All he wanted was his job back.
His family back.
But however much he tried, he pushed his family farther away.
It was one of those mornings, the ones you get up because you have hope.
Hope for something better.
Hope for something different.
Hope for something Buck can’t be.
Buck only had tomato sauce in his fridge, he had not eaten for days.
There is only so long someone can go without there needs.
There is only so long someone can go without love.
Why did Buck make everything about his fam- people he knows.
Buck got into his car, to the store.
He put on his music, will you love me when I’m dead, and pulled out of his parking spot.
I gave you my body.
He gave them everything.
I feel like nobody.
They made him feel like nobody.
I want you to hold me.
He wants comfort.
You tasted like honey.
They were so nice.
So sweet when you stung me.
Nice. So nice.
Maybe I’m just lucky.
Maybe he was just lucky.
I’ll never be enough for you.
He will never be enough for them.
I want you to hurt me more.
At the lyric, a deer walked onto the road and Buck turned.
Hurt me more.
The car flipped and glass shattered.
Make me feel.
The glass cut his forehead.
Like I never felt before.
Blood oozed into his eyes, blinding him.
Take my soul.
The car tumbled down a hill.
I’m not real.
Maybe it is all a dream.
Break me inside.
He is already broken.
Drain out the life.
What life?
Crucify me in your bed.
Or in this car. Buck could not feel anything.
Will you love me when I’m dead.
They will not.
In the following beat barley a whisper, “Will you love me when I’m dead?”
The roses you left me.
The pain they left me.
Are all that's left of me.
Will be all that's left of him.
My body is empty.
Buck feels Empty.
It will never be enough for you.
It will never be enough for them.
Every moment I bleed through.
He has bleed a lot.
Every bone I break for you.
He has Broken a lot of bones.
I will never be enough for you.
He will never be enough for the 118, his family.
For you.
For them.
I want you to hurt me more.
Not ignore him.
Hurt me more.
He has had enough pain.
Make me feel.
Something.
Like I have never before.
Loved.
Take my soul.
Buck just lays there.
I’m not real.
Maybe he is not.
Break me inside.
Why?
Drain out the life.
His eyes become heavy, but before they completely closed and he went under, he swears he had Eddies voice,
“He’s over here!”
***
“He’s over here!” Eddie called as the sight of Bucks black jeep came into view.
He ran as fast as his legs could carry him. He could not see Buck because of the shattered glass, but he saw the red- the blood- covering the dashboard.
“Bobby!” He yelled again.
“Coming! Hen! Chim!”
“Oh, Buck, my goodness,” Eddie rushes to open the door. His music is still going and he hears a lyric
Will you love me when I’m dead?
“Of course, Buck, can you open your eyes? Please, for me?”
Nothing except the beat of the music.
“God,”
“Oh my,”
“Shit,”
The others came and got him on the stretcher, while they were, the music continued on,
Lay me down to sleep.
Drag me by my feet.
In the dead of night.
I am eternal light.
Lay me down to sleep.
Drag me by my feet.
In the dead of night.
I am eternal light.
And the song was right, Buck was Eddies eternal light.