Archive of Our Own

Received Message from: Jackie
Hey girls. I have NEWS. 16:42

Received Message from: Lucie
??? 16:42

Received Message from: Gisèle
I think I know the news oop 16:42

Received Message from: Charlotte
thank gooooooood this pilates class is abysmal distract me16:43

Received Message from: Nat
char pls dont tell me youre at the front of the class on your phone16:43

Received Message from: Charlotte
gladys fell asleep and she’s the only one who showed up so16:43

Received Message from: Shelley
You need to publicise it more babe 🩷16:43

Received Message from: Nat
oh honey 16:43

Received Message from: Kasha
news please pike 👏16:43

Received Message from: Sheena
CHARLOTTE how did that even happen??? 16:43

Received Message from: Jackie
I’ll come next week, Char 16:44

Okay so don’t ask me how I got the number because there were SO many hoops I had to go through but Hollander’s Boston Lily is officially getting added to the chat 😍 16:44

Received Message from: Sheena
who? 16:44

Received Message from: Nat
OMG 16:44

Received Message from: Lucie
@Sheena www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shane_Hollander 16:45

Received Message from: Sheena
fuck off 😭 how were you so quick with that 16:45

Received Message from: JJackie
Everyone be nice this is a big fucking deal 16:45

Received Message from: Shelley
Swear jar! 16:45

Received Message from: Kasha
hollzy has a gf of more than 2 seconds this is blowing my mind 16:45

Received Message from: Gisèle
I thiiiink they’ve been hooking up on and off for years but yeah Shane told JJ he’s in a relationship now ❤️! 16:46

Received Message from: Jackie
(Shelley this is a no jar zone and you know it) 16:46

I don’t think I said this before but Char, Hayden tried to set you up with Shane a few years ago 16:46

Thought I’d mention it before Lily joins. Shane was definitely hung up on her at the time and I don’t want to make her feel weird 16:46

But it all turned out alright, you got Vik! 16:46

Received Message from: Charlotte
you’re telling me i could have fucked shane hollander chdjispslsnsn 16:46

wait reset 16:46

i love my boyfriend i love my boyfriend i love my boyfr- 16:46

Received Message from: Kasha
deep breaths 16:46

Received Message from: Lucie
jackie why would you tell her that 💀💀💀 16:47

Received Message from: Jackie
Whoops 😎 16:47

Received Message from: Charlotte
you made me wake gladys up with my semi-quiet screams i gotta finish this fucking class now 😩 16:47

Received Message from: Jackie
Anyway I'm just gonna add her 16:47

Received Message from: Nat
$45 a pop class you better fucking finish it 16:47

Received Message from: Charlotte
🖕 16:47

Received Message from: Jackie
Hi, Lily! Welcome! 16:48

Sent Message: i do not want avon, thank you 🙏 16:48

Received Message from: Kasha
PFFFFF 16:48

Received Message from: Nat
fuck and id nearly hit quota too 16:48

Received Message from: Shelley
This is a Voyageurs’ WAGs group chat Lily!!! We’re not trying to sell you something 😭 16:48

Sent Message: this is a very bad sales pitch 16:48

Received Message from: Gisèle
My skin has been glowing recently, are you sure you don’t want any girl? 16:48

Sent Message: ok put me down for 20 cases of skin cream and some of those little sponges 16:48

Received Message from: Nat
g stole my sale un fucking believable 16:49

Received Message from: Jackie
Yeahhhh I think you’ll fit in just fine 16:49

Received Message from: Sheena
folded like a damn deck chair 16:49

Received Message from: Charlotte
is that actually the saying? i remember it being sexier 16:49

gladys walked out without saying bye so i’m Here i’m Present, hi lily!! 16:49

Received Message from: Kasha
folded like shane hollander in that one yoga video ✋ 16:49

Sent Message: yes that is a sexier saying thank you kasha 16:49

Sent Message: hello what the fuck is gladys 16:49

Received Message from: Kasha
🫡 16:49

Received Message from: Jackie
lmao 16:50

Alright housekeeping 16:50

@everyone quick fire, let Lily know who you’re the WAG of! Mine’s Pike 16:50

Sent Message: this is unnecessary 16:50

Received Message from: Shelley
Comeau! 🩷 16:50

Received Message from: Charlotte
andropov 😒 16:50

Sent Message: i do not need to know this 16:50

Received Message from: Sheena
wilson 16:51

Received Message from: Lucie
gagnon 16:51

Received Message from: Gisèle
Boiziau!! 16:51

Sent Message: my phone is setting on fire from notifications 16:51

Received Message from: Kasha
drapeau 16:51

Received Message from: Nat
miitka 16:51

Received Message from: Jackie
And just because I need to see it explicitly written out… Lily, your player? 😊 16:51

Sent Message: ..........hollander 16:51

Received Message from: Jackie
😭😭😭 16:51

Sorry I’m just so excited about this 16:51

My sweet Shane all partnered up 16:51

I’ve been worried about him 16:51

Sent Message: you do not need to be worried about shane’s sex life 😏 16:51

Received Message from: Kasha
what if I WANT to be 🥵 16:52

Received Message from: Charlotte
yeah let me in 16:52

Received Message from: Gisèle
Fuck it, me too 16:52

Received Message from: Jackie
This is a day two interrogation, ladies 16:52

And I’ve said nothing about Shane’s sex life 16:52

Yet. 16:52

Received Message from: Gisèle
You asked me if JJ hung dong day one Jack 16:52

Received Message from: Shelley
Stooooooooooooop 16:52

Sent Message: and what did you say gisèle 🤞😔 16:52

Received Message from: Gisèle
B———-D 16:52

Sent Message: oh no 16:52

Sent Message: skinny and small is strange mix 16:52

Sent Message: like a candy lace bitten in half 16:52

Received Message from: Gisèle
@Jackie remove her xoxo 16:53

Received Message from: Jackie
😂 16:53

btw Lily did Shane warn you about this? 16:53

Sent Message: nope 16:53

Sent Message: nice surprise 16:53

Received Message from: Jackie
I swear I told Hayden to say something 16:53

Sent Message: i don’t mind, shane is very busy carrying the voyageurs i understand why he didn’t mention anything 16:53

Sent Message: and what is hayden's excuse? 16:53

Received Message from: Sheena
bitch…..?! 16:53

Received Message from: Lucie
💀 16:53

Received Message from: Kasha
and WHO was responsible for last week’s shut out? 16:53

Sent Message: i don’t know, shane? detroit couldn’t get close to the goal because he was everywhere so 🤷‍♀️ 16:54

Received Message from: Kasha
my boyfriend found dead in a ditch 16:54

Received Message from: Sheena
i can’t even be mad bc hollander’s fucking fantastic 16:54

Sent Message: thank you i’ve been saying this 16:54

Received Message from: Nat
all good my goalie was warming the bench 💪 😤 16:54

Received Message from: Jackie
Collecting myself 🙇‍♀️ Redirecting 🙇‍♀️ 16:54

Would you like any guidance for the chat? I get that this is a lot 16:54

Sent Message: we talk? 16:54

Sent Message: this is it, no? 16:54

Received Message from: Jackie
Why am I blushing. 16:54

Received Message from: Sheena
Captain Shane Hollander’s Girl for sure 16:54

Received Message from: Charlotte
sometimes we voice call on tuesdays but yeah that’s also talking hit the nail on the head baybeeee 16:54

Sent Message: i am busy on tuesdays :( 16:54

Received Message from: Sheena
boo 16:54

Sent Message: 😱😰 16:54

Received Message from: Sheena
hollzy’s gf is scared of me pass it on 16:54

Received Message from: Lucie
moving on, i’m curious lily how long have you and shane been together? 16:55

Sent Message: 8 years ✌️🥳 16:55

Received Message from: Jackie
Wait, what? That long? 16:55

Received Message from: Charlotte
HUH?? 16:55

Sent Message: techno 16:55

Sent Message: technically 16:55

Received Message from: Gisèle
I'm sticking with techno 16:55

Sent Message: official over 1 year 16:55

Received Message from: Jackie
WAIT WHAT 16:55

Received Message from: Shelley
Awwwww 16:55

Sent Message: pike could not be trusted with this information sorry 16:55

Received Message from: Charlotte
on and off my ASS i can’t believe you and your husband tried to set me up with a taken man jackie 16:55

Sent Message: WHAT 16:55

Received Message from: Jackie
🧍‍♂️ 16:55

Received Message from: Gisèle
H o w have Hayden and JJ not met you??? 16:56

Sent Message: work. 16:56

Received Message from: Kasha
wanna expand on that? 🎤 16:56

Sent Message: 🎤 no 16:56

Received Message from: Jackie
Hold on 16:56

When JJ asked, Shane only confirmed that he was in a relationship a few weeks ago 16:56

Sent Message: like i say work is complicated 16:56

Received Message from: Nat
cagey ass- 16:56

Received Message from: Lucie
bro are you a SPY? 16:56

Sent Message: wow you have caught me my number one mission was to… find out what voyageurs girlfriends talk about in ‘Whippers And Grinders’ group chat 16:56

Received Message from: Kasha
i don’t like that tone 🧐 16:56

Received Message from: Jackie
I think we should drop this. 16:56

Received Message from: Nat
hey thats a sacred gc name 16:56

you didnt see sheena and lucie at shelleys bachelorette 16:56

Received Message from: Lucie
and i beg you daily to not bring that up 16:56

Received Message from: Sheena
best night of my life 16:57

Received Message from: Shelley
You didn’t remember I was getting married so how do you remember it being the best night of your life? 16:57

Received Message from: Sheena
vibes 16:57

Sent Message: thank you for more secrets to report back to the motherland 16:57

Received Message from: Charlotte
oh shit the motherland in question being goddamn BOSTON 16:57

Sent Message: no i am nice canadian girl now 🥰 16:57

Received Message from: Kasha
you moved countries to be with hollzy? 16:57

Sent Message: not a big deal 16:57

Sent Message: i would move to mars if he was there 😍 16:57

Sent Message: maybe even buffalo 16:57

Received Message from: Lucie
marty’s dick would have to be at LEAST 2 inches bigger for me to even consider doing something like that 😮‍💨 getttt it lily 16:57

Received Message from: Charlotte
stop i’m already in mourning for what could have been 16:57

Received Message from: Gisèle
Lily!!! That’s beautiful Buffalo suuuucks 16:58

Sent Message: i am about to be unfond of you charlotte 16:58

Sent Message: @Lucie so gaggy is not called this for what his dick makes you go? 16:58

Received Message from: Lucie
fhjdjsksskk it’s the motion of the ocean n all that 16:58

Received Message from: Sheena
SICK 16:58

Received Message from: Kasha
hollzy new name: hollin-this-massive-dick 16:58

Received Message from: Nat
shane makesherholler 16:58

Received Message from: Lucie
10 inch hero 16:58

Received Message from: Sheena
shane “noise complaint” hollander 16:58

Sent Message: hollyWOOD 16:58

Received Message from: Shelley
Oh that works because of Rose Landry too! 16:58

Sent Message: i don’t like this game anymore. 16:58

Received Message from: Shelley
🥺 16:58

Received Message from: Jackie
Shane forgive me for reading these messages 🧎‍♀️‍➡️⛪️ 16:58

Received Message from: Charlotte
shane don’t forgive me, lily say more 🧎‍♀️‍➡️💒 16:59

Sent Message: no charlotte you do not get more 16:59

Received Message from: Charlotte
why do you hate me i didn’t even get one date 😭 16:59

Sent Message: and you never will 👅 16:59

Received Message from: Sheena
i hate halloween on god 15:17

Received Message from: Kasha
it’s fun getting lizzie all dressed up but yeah15:17

Received Message from: Lucie
yesssss i love dressing amanda up 15:17

Received Message from: Kasha
for the last time your dog is not a human child15:17

Received Message from: Lucie
then why does she have a human name? 🤩 15:18

Received Message from: Charlotte
idk maybe because you named her 15:18

just a thought 🫶 15:18

Sent Message: sounds like a strong working girl 💪 15:18

Received Message from: Lucie
exactly thank you lily 15:18

Received Message from: Gisèle
I’ve been anxiously awaiting the annual spooky Amanda photo dump 15:18

Sent Message: i need pictures too 15:18

Sent Message: please 15:18

Sent Message: please 15:18

Sent Message: please 15:19

Received Message from: Lucie
omg ok waaaaait 15:19

she is NOT taking to this chewbacca costume 15:19

Sent Message: don’t be mean to her or i will steal amanda away for myself. 15:19

Received Message from: Gisèle
I’m happy Lily is one of the dogs 15:19

Sent Message: 🐶 15:19

Received Message from: Sheena
lily, lucie and gisèle in the dog area while the rest of us are all basking in that sweet sweet halloween hate 15:19

Received Message from: Jackie
Hey, put me in the dog area too! I have four adorable little pumpkins ready to go trick or treating and Hayden promised to wear fake teeth on the ice tonight 🎉 15:20

Received Message from: Gisèle
Theriault would murder him are you kidding 😭 15:20

Received Message from: Nat
fangs? 15:20

Received Message from: Jackie
I mean if he doesn’t wear the spooky ones he’s not actually breaking his promise 15:20

He’s missing five teeth 😬 15:20

Received Message from: Charlotte
🎵 we’re going to denture city 🎵 15:20

Received Message from: Sheena
hayden pike girlboss 15:20

Received Message from: Lucie
finessing that loophole queen!! 15:20

Sent Message: yes you are right jackie they look fucking scary 15:21

Sent Message: hideous all year! no need for you to buy halloween ones 😘 15:21

Sent Message: i don’t know how the little pikes turned out so cute 15:21

Received Message from: Jackie
And /you/ have all your teeth? 🤨 15:21

Sent Message: 🤨🤨🤨 15:21

Received Message from: Sheena
jack you cant just ask a lady if she has all her teeth lmaoooo 15:21

Sent Message: shane likes my teeth 15:21

Sent Message: and my mouth 15:21

Sent Message: wrapped around his- *GUNSHOTS* 15:21

Received Message from: Charlotte
WAIT SAY MORE 15:21

Received Message from: Nat
whipped even without shane here smh 15:21

Sent Message: ok enough WHERE is amanda??? 15:21

Received Message from: Lucie
on it 👌 15:22

Received Message from: Nat
can i be real rn 10:05

i still dont understand rozanov moving to ottawa 10:05

its like watching thor lead a bunch of koopas into a shredder 10:05

Received Message from: Lucie
girl what in the fuck are you even saying? 10:05

Received Message from: Kasha
first few games have been rough10:05

Sent Message: you watch ottawa games? 10:06

Received Message from: Kasha
i like to root for the little guy don’t tell pat 10:06

i have to watch in secret so he doesn’t know i’m a child of betrayal 10:06

Sent Message: rozanov will win them a cup. 10:06

Received Message from: Jackie
Seconded. 10:06

Received Message from: Kasha
i hope so but i’m not gonna hold my breath 10:06

Received Message from: Charlotte
bet on it cowards 10:07

Received Message from: Shelley
This is a team sport? 10:07

Received Message from: Sheena
it’s 10am. in the morning. like as in am.10:07

and we’re doing bets? 10:07

Received Message from: Lucie
ten whole canadian dollars on admirals please barkeep 10:07

Received Message from: Nat
that wasnt an option? 😭 10:07

Received Message from: Lucie
i know two team names and ottawa’s ain’t one of them leave me alone 😃 10:07

Received Message from: Kasha
fuck it, give me a timeline and i’ll bite10:08

Received Message from: Lucie
i feel like you’re supposed to give the timeline when you’re placing the bet? 10:08

Received Message from: Kasha
miss ten dollars on admirals over here trying to enforce rules 😒10:08

Sent Message: a cup within the next 5 seasons $10000 10:08

Received Message from: Lucie
fuck off please don’t tell me i have to match that bet i’m a pa and my guy hasn’t had a brand deal in like a million years 💔 10:08

Received Message from: Jackie
Agh we really shouldn't be talking about this... 10:08

..........I’ll split the pot with Lily when we both win and do that bet too 10:08

Received Message from: Nat
rip ruby and jades college fund 🪦 10:09

Received Message from: Jackie
I’ll get them into stocks or something 10:09

Received Message from: Sheena
2052 cup win while all on walkers $5010:09

Sent Message: if you want to watch hockey players already using walkers on ice look at admirals like lucie 10:09

Received Message from: Sheena
okay so hunter’s actually younger than me 🤡10:09

Sent Message: i had no idea, i am very proud of you knowing how to use a cell phone 🥰 10:09

Sent Message: were dodos as nice and cute as people say? 10:09

Sent Message: is exciting to have someone who was there to ask 10:09

Sent Message: oh! do you prefer candle trick as your morning alarm or is a modern alarm more effective? 10:10

Received Message from: Sheena
STOP WHACKING ME I’M 3210:10

Received Message from: Jackie
This is so much worse than I thought 🤦‍♀️ 10:10

Received Message from: Shelley
$150 they win a cup Rozanov’s last season before he retires 10:10

Sent Message: everybody take breath for a second. 10:10

Sent Message: i will collect the rest of your bets when you decide to be serious 😤 10:10

Received Message from: Nat
jesus christ 10:10

Received Message from: Kasha
jack did you know hollzy was announcing this?????18:35

Received Message from: Jackie
Maybe 🙂 18:36

Received Message from: Shelley
You kept that quiet! 18:36

Received Message from: Lucie
announcing what? 18:36

Received Message from: Kasha
always forget how much you hate hockey18:36

he’s starting a mental health charity with rozanov 18:36

Received Message from: Lucie
oh wow i thought they hated each other 18:36

that’s really cool actually 18:36

Sent Message: i knew 18:36

Received Message from: Nat
yeah no fucking shit 😂 18:36

Sent Message: i helped shane relax after such a stressful conference too 🤗 18:36

Sent Message: was a very nice hotel room 18:37

Sent Message: @Charlotte you wish it was you helping my shane? 18:37

Received Message from: Charlotte
oh hell yeah 18:37

did rozanov watch? haha jk… unless? 18:37

Received Message from: Jackie
You're getting kicked out of the chat I swear to god 18:37

Received Message from: Sheena
messssss18:37

Received Message from: Nat
lily i take it you have actually met rozanov? 18:37

Sent Message: well yes 18:37

Received Message from: Charlotte
and??? 18:37

Sent Message: hottest player in the nhl pictures do not do him justice 18:37

Sent Message: i mean second hottest sorry 18:37

Received Message from: Jackie
Aw that’s sweet 18:38

Received Message from: Sheena
wilson’s first, right? right????18:38

Received Message from: Lucie
i cannot take you fucking seriously have you SEEN your man 18:38

Received Message from: Sheena
he needs a haircut sure but he’s Built™️18:38

Received Message from: Charlotte
pleeeeeaaaasssseeeee he somehow always looks like he’s just chewed on a live wire 18:38

Received Message from: Jackie
He treats you well though! 💯 18:38

Received Message from: Nat
eyeing my copy of sexiest man in the nhl 18:38

didnt know you spelled shane hollander as armand wilson thats wild 18:38

Received Message from: Sheena
jumping into traffic rn18:38

Sent Message: i can’t believe you put him forward even for a joke this is so sad 18:38

Received Message from: Sheena
…half-joke 😭18:38

Received Message from: Gisèle
Oh sweetheart 18:39

Received Message from: Nat
i fear we need to ask lily more about rozanov im nosy 18:39

Received Message from: Sheena
thanks for the bailout18:39

Sent Message: people didn't know he’s very good friends with shane so i see him a lot 18:39

Received Message from: Jackie
🤭 18:39

Sent Message: he’s so funny, so hot 18:39

Received Message from: Kasha
you already said that babe keep up18:39

Sent Message: he is hot 18:39

Received Message from: Nat
lily…….. remember your man 18:40

Sent Message: i think rozanov is hot 18:40

Received Message from: Lucie
screaminggggg at this 18:40

Received Message from: Sheena
wait let me check, lily do you think rozy’s hot?18:40

Sent Message: i believe i said this yes 18:40

Received Message from: Gisèle
We weren't sure, but thanks for clarifying 18:40

Received Message from: Lucie
😂 18:40

Received Message from: Shelley
I can fetch you a fan if you want, Lily 18:40

Received Message from: Sheena
perhaps a sprinkler18:40

Received Message from: Nat
makes sense theyre friends tbh 18:52

Received Message from: Lucie
who, hollzy and rozy? 18:52

Received Message from: Nat
yeah 18:52

Received Message from: Charlotte
y’know i’ve always thought rozy wanted to either kill hollzy or fuck him whenever they’ve had a face off 18:53

sorry lily i now side with the wants to fuck him angle 18:53

Sent Message: who wouldn’t want to fuck shane 18:53

Sent Message: is natural 18:53

Sent Message: but no one apart from me ever will 🙂 18:53

Received Message from: Jackie
You probably shouldn’t speculate like that, Char. 18:54

Received Message from: Charlotte
it’s just as someone who apparently COULD have fucked shane at one point i relate to both rozanov and lily 18:54

Received Message from: Jackie
Well, obviously he wasn’t interested. 18:54

Received Message from: Charlotte
woahhhhhhhh 18:54

Sent Message: all mine 🙂 18:54

Received Message from: Lucie
vibes are OFF stop talking about wanting to fuck shane in front of his girlfriend 😭 18:54

Received Message from: Gisèle
I’ll tell Vik on you 18:54

Received Message from: Charlotte
SNITCH 18:55

TGIS IS HYPOTHETICAL HELP 18:55

HOW DOD I BRING THIS BAKC 18:55

Received Message from: Kasha
lock your windows and doors cause lily WILL find your address.18:55

Sent Message: she is ok i will be too busy fucking my boyfriend to commit murder 18:55

Received Message from: Sheena
oooooooooooof18:55

Received Message from: Charlotte
okay i’m making vik a secret apology dinner tonight 18:55

lily do you want anything? 18:55

Received Message from: Gisèle
You can’t cook, babe 18:55

Received Message from: Charlotte
okay i’m ordering in a secret apology dinner tonight 18:56

Received Message from: Gisèle
👌 18:56

Received Message from: Jackie
Merry Christmas everyone!! I love and appreciate all of you ❤️ 14:25

Received Message from: Nat
jakckie i love u 14:25

Received Message from: Sheena
you drank all the wine meant for the gravy again didn’t you 😂14:25

Received Message from: Nat
get on my levellllll 14:25

fuck mitt y he can do it he can make the food 14:25

Received Message from: Gisèle
Love you all!!!! 14:25

Received Message from: Lucie
mitty burnt cereal once you can’t be serious 14:26

Received Message from: Nat
shit ! 14:26

Received Message from: Lucie
i’m sure there are a few takeout places open 😭 praying for u and ur in-laws ❤️❤️❤️ 14:26

also i love all of you too 14:26

Received Message from: Nat
mittys mom told mee to drink wine 14:26

Sent Message: i am jealous nat, have to be on best behavior for shane’s parents 😪 14:27

Received Message from: Jackie
Like David hasn’t already cracked open the good vodka…. 14:27

Sent Message: 🤫 14:27

Received Message from: Shelley
Merry Christmas, loves! 🩷 14:28

Received Message from: Charlotte
lily tell me about hollander christmas pleaseeee 14:28

Sent Message: very boring just like shane 14:28

Sent Message: so it is perfect 14:28

Received Message from: Jackie
Crying 14:28

Received Message from: Kasha
who needs seasoning when you’re already sobbing over someone calling their boyfriend boring14:29

Received Message from: Charlotte
that tracks 14:29

can i come over lol 14:29

Received Message from: Nat
ill drive 14:29

Received Message from: Kasha
so glad you don’t use punctuation bc that is so accurate nat14:29

Received Message from: Gisèle
Sometimes I wish JJ was boring 😭 14:30

Sent Message: yuna said no sorry 😔 14:30

Received Message from: Sheena
yuna and shane got you on a leash huh14:30

Received Message from: Lucie
fuck david i guess 14:30

Received Message from: Jackie
I love him but have you MET David 14:30

His leash is as sturdy as some cotton candy in the rain 14:31

Received Message from: Nat
cLOck it!!!!!!! 14:31

Received Message from: Sheena
f in the chat for all time sweetie david hollander14:31

Sent Message: bye bye i have a puzzle to do with all time sweetie 14:31

Received Message from: Nat
its the puzzle wheere is tge vodka 14:31

Received Message from: Shelley
Drink some water, honey 14:31