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Lara swore she was done.
Like actually done this time. Not the dramatic, “I’m done” she’d text her friends at 2 a.m. and then be back at Megan’s house the next weekend eating her snacks and laughing like nothing ever happened. No. This time felt different. This time it hit that quiet, heavy place in her chest that didn’t go away just because she distracted herself with TikTok or music or late-night scrolling.
Because it wasn’t just about the kiss.
It was about everything.
It was about the way Megan looked at her sometimes, like she was about to say something and then just… didn’t. It was about the way they kept orbiting each other, never quite landing, always almost. It was about the fact that Lara knew, like knew knew, that if Megan just met her halfway, they could be something real.
And Megan… Megan just kept hesitating.
—
It had never been labeled. That was the problem. Or maybe the whole point.
They started as friends. Actual friends. Study sessions that turned into gossip sessions, which turned into staying over because it got too late to go home, which turned into sharing a bed because “it’s not that deep,” which turned into… yeah.
Friends with benefits.
Except it didn’t feel like that, not really. Not to Lara.
Because friends with benefits weren’t supposed to text you “did you get home safe?” every single time. They weren’t supposed to remember your coffee order or send you random videos like “this is so you.” They definitely weren’t supposed to look at you like that, soft and a little lost, like you mattered more than they knew how to say.
Megan did all of that.
And then, the second things edged toward something real, she’d freeze.
Not pull away in a harsh way. Not reject her. Just… hesitate. Like her brain buffered at the worst possible moment.
It drove Lara insane.
—
The night it all went wrong was stupidly normal.
Like, nothing dramatic. No big buildup. No music swelling in the background. Just a random Friday where Lara showed up at Megan’s house in an oversized hoodie, hair slightly messy from the wind, acting like she didn’t spend twenty minutes deciding what to wear.
Megan opened the door and smiled immediately.
“Hey,” she said, stepping aside. “You made it.”
Lara rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I live like ten minutes away. It’s not a pilgrimage.”
“Still counts,” Megan said, grinning.
That was the thing. Megan was easy. Being around her felt like slipping into something familiar, something warm. It’s why Lara kept coming back, even when it hurt a little.
They ended up on Megan’s bed, laptops open, pretending to do work. Within fifteen minutes, Megan was scrolling through memes and shoving her phone in Lara’s face.
“Tell me this isn’t literally you.”
Lara leaned in, shoulder brushing Megan’s. “Shut up, that is not me.”
“It is you.”
“It’s not.”
“It literally is.”
They argued about it for way too long, both smiling, both leaning closer without really noticing. At some point, Lara’s leg ended up draped over Megan’s. At some point, Megan’s hand rested absentmindedly on Lara’s knee.
Normal. This was their normal.
But something about that night felt… different.
Maybe it was the way Megan kept glancing at her. Maybe it was the way the room felt quieter, even with their voices filling it. Maybe it was just Lara being tired of pretending this was casual when it obviously wasn’t.
At some point, the laptops got pushed aside completely.
They were lying on their sides now, facing each other, way too close to be considered just friends. Megan’s hair was slightly falling into her face, and Lara reached out without thinking, brushing it back.
Megan stilled for a second.
Not in a bad way. Just… aware.
“Thanks,” she said softly.
Lara’s hand lingered for half a second too long.
This was it. This was always the moment.
The almost.
Lara felt that familiar mix of nerves and frustration bubbling up. Because she knew what came next. Either Megan would close the distance, or she’d hesitate again, and Lara would be left feeling like she imagined everything.
Not this time.
She wasn’t going to wait.
“Meg,” Lara said quietly.
Megan’s eyes flicked down to her lips for the briefest second.
That was all the confirmation Lara needed.
So she leaned in.
Slow. Clear. Giving Megan time to meet her halfway.
For a split second, everything lined up perfectly. Megan didn’t move away. She didn’t look uncomfortable. If anything, she looked like she was about to lean in too.
And then—
She hesitated.
It wasn’t dramatic. It wasn’t obvious to anyone else. But Lara felt it immediately. That tiny pause. That moment where Megan just… stopped.
And Lara’s brain went, oh.
Oh. She’s pulling away.
Heat rushed to her face, a mix of embarrassment and anger hitting all at once. She pulled back so fast it almost gave her whiplash.
“Wow,” Lara said, sitting up. “Okay.”
Megan blinked, confused. “What?”
“You don’t have to do that,” Lara snapped, already grabbing her phone.
“Do what?”
“That,” Lara said, gesturing vaguely. “Act like you want something and then freak out the second it actually happens.”
Megan sat up too, her expression shifting from confusion to concern. “Wait, I didn’t—”
“It’s fine,” Lara cut her off. “I get it.”
“No, you don’t—”
“I do,” Lara said, standing up now. “You don’t want this. Or you do, but only when it’s convenient. And I’m kind of over guessing which one it is.”
Megan’s brows furrowed. “Lara, I wasn’t pulling away.”
“Yeah, you were,” Lara said flatly.
“I literally wasn’t.”
“You hesitated.”
Megan opened her mouth, then closed it again, clearly trying to process. “I just— I didn’t realize you were—”
“Oh my god,” Lara laughed, but there was no humor in it. “You didn’t realize? Megan, please.”
“I’m serious,” Megan said, sitting up straighter. “I thought we were just— I didn’t know if you—”
“If I what? Wanted to kiss you?” Lara shook her head. “Are you actually kidding right now?”
“I just didn’t want to assume,” Megan said, sounding genuinely stressed.
Lara stared at her for a second.
And that’s when it hit her. Megan wasn’t playing games. She wasn’t rejecting her on purpose.
She was just… oblivious.
Which somehow made it worse.
“Yeah,” Lara said quietly. “Okay. That’s actually worse.”
“What?”
“Nothing,” Lara said, grabbing her hoodie. “I’m gonna go.”
“Lara, wait—”
But she was already heading for the door.
—
The walk home felt longer than usual.
Lara replayed the moment over and over in her head, each time making her more annoyed. Because how do you not realize? How do you sit there, look at someone like that, act like that, and then act surprised when they try to kiss you?
It didn’t make sense.
Unless Megan just didn’t feel the same way.
Which… fine. Whatever. That would suck, but at least it would be clear.
But this in-between thing? This constant almost? It was exhausting.
By the time she got home, she was fully in her feelings. Flopped onto her bed, stared at the ceiling, opened her phone, closed it, opened it again.
No texts from Megan.
Of course.
“Yeah,” Lara muttered to herself. “Cool. Love that.”
She threw her phone to the side and buried her face in her pillow.
Done. She was actually done this time.
—
Meanwhile, Megan was sitting on her bed, staring at her door like Lara might walk back through it if she focused hard enough.
“What just happened,” she said out loud.
Her brain felt like it was lagging. She replayed the moment too, but her version was completely different.
Lara leaned in.
Megan’s brain: wait, is she—
And then Lara pulled away, suddenly upset, saying Megan was rejecting her.
But Megan hadn’t meant to reject her. She just… didn’t process it fast enough.
“Oh my god,” she groaned, flopping back onto her bed. “I’m actually so dumb.”
Because now that she thought about it, it was obvious.
All the signs were there. The way Lara looked at her. The way she got a little quieter sometimes, like she was waiting for something. The way she leaned in just now.
And Megan just sat there like a glitching NPC.
“Great,” she said, dragging her hands down her face. “Amazing job.”
She grabbed her phone, opened their chat, stared at it.
What do you even say?
“Sorry I didn’t kiss you” felt insane to type. But also… that was literally the problem.
She typed. Deleted. Typed again.
Finally, she just sent it.
sorry I didn’t kiss you
She stared at the message, immediately cringing.
“Cool. Yeah. That’s normal,” she muttered.
Then she added:
but it’s obvious I wanted to
She hit send before she could overthink it.
And then she waited.
—
Lara’s phone buzzed.
She ignored it at first.
Then it buzzed again.
She groaned, reaching for it. “If this is some ‘haha sorry’—”
She opened the message.
Megan:
sorry I didn’t kiss you
but it’s obvious I wanted to
Lara blinked.
Once.
Twice.
“…huh?”
She sat up, rereading it.
Because that… that was not what she expected.
She typed back immediately.
Lara:
what
Megan replied almost instantly.
Megan:
I wasn’t pulling away
I just didn’t realize what was happening fast enough
Lara stared at the screen.
Lara:
You didn’t realize I was trying to kiss you
Megan:
I thought you were just moving closer
Lara let out a short laugh, shaking her head.
Lara:
You’re actually unreal
Megan:
I KNOW
There was a pause.
Then:
Megan:
I’m sorry
like actually
Lara exhaled slowly, some of the tension in her chest easing, but not completely.
Because okay. Megan didn’t mean to hurt her. That was clear.
But that didn’t fix everything.
You do this all the time, Lara typed.
Lara:
Do what
Megan:
Hesitate
make me feel like I’m imagining things
Another pause.
Then:
Megan:
I’m not trying to
I just don’t always know what you want
Lara frowned at that.
Lara:
Are you serious
Megan:
Yeah
Megan added:
I don’t want to assume and mess it up
Lara stared at that message for a long second.
Because… that actually made sense.
In a frustrating, very Megan way.
Lara:
You realize assuming I DON’T want you is also messing it up right
Megan:
Yeah
I’m starting to see that 😭
Lara huffed out a laugh despite herself.
Silence again.
Then Megan sent:
Megan:
can I fix it
Lara raised an eyebrow.
Lara:
Fix it how
Another pause.
Then:
Megan:
come back
Lara’s heart did that annoying little flip it always did when Megan said things like that.
Lara:
You just want a redo
Megan:
Yes
Lara hesitated this time.
Not because she didn’t want to. But because she didn’t want to fall back into the same pattern.
And Megan seemed to sense that.
Megan:
I mean it, Lara
I’m not playing with you
I just… need you to be a little clearer sometimes
Lara stared at that.
Then typed:
Lara:
you’re so lucky I like you
Megan replied instantly:
Megan:
I KNOW
And then:
please come back
Lara shook her head, already grabbing her hoodie again.
“Unbelievable,” she muttered, but she was smiling.
—
When Megan opened the door the second time that night, she didn’t even try to play it cool.
“Hi,” she said, a little breathless.
“Hi,” Lara replied, stepping inside.
There was a moment where they just stood there, looking at each other.
Then Lara crossed her arms. “Okay. So. For the record.”
“Yeah?”
“I was trying to kiss you.”
Megan nodded immediately. “Noted.”
“And I still am.”
“Also noted.”
Lara raised an eyebrow. “So don’t overthink it this time.”
“I won’t,” Megan said, a little too quickly.
“Seriously.”
“I’m serious.”
Lara studied her for a second.
Then stepped closer.
“Good,” she said softly.
And this time, when she leaned in—
Megan didn’t hesitate.