Chapter Text
Vox had mauled Alastor and then run off like a little bitch, leaving Velvette and Valentino to deal with him.
A number of things quickly became clear to Velvette, one of them being that Alastor was starving.
It was so obvious now!
Sinners didn't need to eat, but they did need to eat - if that made sense. They couldn't die of starvation, but felt hunger in the exact way that they would have when alive on earth, it was no less agonising. It could go on potentially unending - part of the punishment.
It had been five days. Guy was too stubborn, too proud to ask for anything? He took a cigarette whenever it was offered...
Fucking idiot. What would starving himself achieve? Though, Velvette did have to admit that Vox loved to lord shit over people, like, even more than they did...not the easiest guy to ask for favours. Was it technically 'starving yourself' if you were a prisoner, and the captor didn't offer anything...?
Alastor was grimacing and grinding his teeth, eyes clamped shut. Valentino kept a grip on him so he didn't collapse.
"Stop it!"
That had come out of the speakers.
Alastor had barely slurred out two words since she'd sedated him to stitch up his wounds. He couldn't stand and hadn't put up the slightest resistance, so the sudden reminder that he was somewhat conscious of what was happening to him was a like a jab in the ribs.
".... Stop it, stop grabbing me..."
There was a tone of desperation - of real fear.
"...let go for f-fucks sake, you don't need to - I can't run, just stop it. Let go..."
Valentino grinned in amusement. "Mm, the Radio demon's so high right now that he's not even tuned in...!"
Then it dawned on them both -
He was scared of Valentino.
Or, more specifically - being held by Valentino was apparently causing him a lot of distress?
Val had been inadvertently scaring Alastor shitless - which explained the biting earlier - and now Alastor had reached some kind of breaking point and was freaking out.
For a moment Velvette thought that Val was gonna do the 'malicious compliance' thing and drop Alastor where he stood.
But Valentino just lowered him, slowly, smiling with his lips clenched together as he did so - like he wanted to say something really fucked up but was holding himself back - gradually down onto the floor, and then left him crumpled there.
"Hmph. Well, this is depressing as fuck." Valentino snatched up a large towel, then dropped it fully over Alastor, like he was draping over a piece of furniture or literal frightened animal.
"Bambi ~" Val stooped low over Alastor, sneering, even though they couldn't see eachother. "Gonna get a food order in for whenever you're done with crying and getting over yourself - what do you want?"
".....fuck off.." came back the muffled response.
"Oh yeah?" Valentino raised his eyebrows, locked eyes with Velvette, and grinned wickedly. "How about we just get WHATEVER random fucking thing then! And you can eat that or nothing, you little shit."
"Yeah, everything. Just send us some of everything..... yeah, the whole menu....."
Valentino was making an important call.
"...Oh......so most of its slaughtered to order??? Ay, Daaaamn, like murder on demand?.....No no, thats not a problem! Just do it ........huh? The fuck you mean you have over TWO THOUSAND ITEMS?
........
He silenced the mic and spoke to Velvette.
"Vel, apparently they can provide ANY type of sinner meat, even if its capybara, or beetle, or like a spatula demon. Crazy."
"Uh huh." Vel was enjoying her own phone break, she needed it.
They were giving themselves a welcome rest from Alastor (and for him - a rest from them.) As in, they were just like - leaving him alone for quiet time with some blankets and a cigarette, for about an hour.
Hey, they weren't fucking therapists! It was all they could come up with. And also how were they supposed to have known that the infamous Radio Demon was secretly touch-phobic or whatever!
Velvette had bandaged him up no problem though - he hadn't been afraid of that? He just really hated Valentino touching him. It was a personal dislike - or maybe men made him nervous...maybe both?
Valentino continued the call"...Look, babe - I said the cost doesn't matter......NOTHING is too expensive."
Valentino smirked and covered the mic again, "They think we cant afford the food order Vel,"
"Ha!"
"....Actually, I AM 'some kind of billionaire'...Listen up, do you even KNOW who the fuck I am??..........Oh, yeah. OK, I'll tell ya. Valentino, CEO, a partner of Voxtec....uh huh...... 'The Pimp guy'!???"
"They asked me if I'm "The Pimp guy", Vel!", Valentino whined.
"I mean - aren't you?" Vel didn’t look up, she had about a million comments to set up. "Is that a problem?"
"I prefer to be known as an ~artiste~."
"For fucks sake Val, who gives a shit. Sometimes people online just call me 'The Female Vee' but do I whine about it? No, I ruin their lives. Anyway - Can you hurry up with it? If that hungry deer gets any thinner he'll be slipping under the fucking doors like a piece of paper."
"You're so mean."
"Hi again...No, I've never ordered from you personally before....OK, so usually, one of my girls takes an order for the studio if we got some cannibals in for a shoot...? Yeah, there was a whole arrangement........no, I dont know where the paperwork is......don't you guys use email....?"
Val silenced the mic again."This sucks, apparently they have to know you already? You need to be introduced to get cannibal take-out! It's like a club?"
"Mmm. Makes... sense? Gotta be discretionary if they got to to murder sinners for custom orders."
Val continued the call, "Not the studio, this is a private order for our Penthouse at the Vee Tower. .........Yeah, it's for Alastor.....that's right."
The whole of the Pentagram knew the Vees had Alastor prisoner up in the Vee Tower, so, restaurant guy had clocked it the moment Val said the address.
Val looked up at Vel again, "They put me on hold. Said they're gonna fetch the owner to talk to me."
"Should've just name-dropped Alastor from the start - bet they roll out the red carpet for him!"
"They should be rolling it out for ME."
"Cannibals are weirdos", said Vel. "Have you seen how they live? I guess it's suspicious if you ain't one of them. Like. It'd be weird."
"Obviously I'm fucking buying food FOR a cannibal if I call them. WHY would any non-cannibal call up a cannibal place for foo-" Val's eyes widened.
"Vel."
"Val, no..."
"They must get calls from necrophiliacs who want to fuck the food! Thats IT, thats why all the identity checks and shit!"
"VAL. EWW." Wait...there was some actual logic to that , who in their right minds would sell corpses to a porn studio owner, especially if it was Valentino - without conducting checks. Velvette shook her head and tried to return to her more normal thoughts.
Valentino was no longer on hold as the Restaurant owner picked up.
"Hiiiii~.........uh yes, a lovely day in hell? Yes, sure..... A pleasure. Valentino, CEO and partner of VOXTE-"
........
"....oh we've met before? Of COURSE I remember Babe!...hold on a second..."
"PSsst, Vel, who the fuck is 'Rosie' - are we supposed to know her?"
"She's that cannibal Overlord - Victorian looking, lots of frills and lace, seems cozy with Alastor."
"Oh yeah, her. Spooky milf with the big hat. Anyway, she's the owner of the restaurant. Do VOXTEC do business with her?"
"Dunno. Vox would know."
"Fuck."
"Hi again! Ah......no, unfortunately our Alastor can't talk right nooow ...... he's in the shower. ....Oh, he's...uh...."
"Psst, Vel, she's asking 'how is he'? What should I say?
Velvette wrenched her head up from her phone, teeth bared. "WHAT THE FUCK VAL?," she hissed, "Obviously you tell her that he's OK!"
Mm hm,"....He's OK....pretty hungry, though, can you just send us his usual order......OK, then, whatever he usually collects...Ah!.....so you think he'll want the venison? That makes sense!.......Yeah.....haha yes...... yes, 'cause he's a deer.........yah, I DO know what a cannibal is...."
Val momentarily put his head to the side, "What a massive Bitch."
"...Send all the venison........yeah every cut, we want all the cuts.......um, can you repeat that Rosie, babe...........do you mean like a whole carcass, with the fur and antlers still on it?....and he'll eat that, will he?...OK."
"Wow gross."
"....Yeah sounds good. In 40 minutes? Great. Thanks - you'll deliver it yourself? Aw, I'm afraid he's not seeing visitors right now - 'cause he's like, our prisoner and stuff. We'll take it at the door, I'll send a guy down, ....Yes, I'll be sure to 'Pass on your love' to Alastor."
"Oooh there he is. Actually awake now Bambi? Food is on the way."
Valentino watched Alastor carefully transfer himself onto one of the diner table chairs across from him. It was no surprise that he'd had enough of that stupid swivelly office chair that Vox had stolen from a news room receptionist days ago.
He took a delicate sip of his coffee - and it was NOT from one of the 'Fuck Alastor' mugs that Vox had stacked five of the kitchen cabinets with. Using one of those infront of Alastor would be a little...passive agressive directly super aggressive. So, he'd sent Kitty on the search for something else - "Voxtech loves hot Latinas!'' was his mug of the day.
Alastor seemed more put together now - but Valentino had caught him glancing all around the room, his ears perked up on high alert as they came in.
Radio Demon was trying to sense if Vox was around? Probably terrified that he'd suddenly appear at any moment and jump him. Understandable. Vox had been ridiculously violent, even for him.
"Vox is still busy, Babe", purred Val, charitably. "He's not gonna be back home today, so you can calm your little tits".
So of course Valentino didn't actually fucking know WHERE Vox was or when he'd return - and he wasnt obligated to tell Alastor in any case - but he wanted the stupid deer to actually eat his weird funky gourmet food when it arrived instead of worrying and twitching like Angel on a drug trip.
Alastor did seem to relax at his comment, or at least, he became aware that Valentino was watching his eyes dart around the room - and stopped abruptly.
Alastor leaned forward to rest an elbow on the table, cupping his chin in his palm and watching Velvette intently as she made more coffee. Then he side-eyed Valentino and gave him that slow, slutty eyelid-flutter that he always used on everyone. (To be fair, Valentino would also weaponise those giant eyelashes if he had them...maybe he should get some fakes or extensions?)
"Valentino, you are confusing my tolerance of all of this with fear," he sighed. "I can assure you that Vox is not the most dangerous demon in this building."
And then the little bastard actually cracked his knuckles then began examining his claws!
Valentino blinked. Huh. Alastor really WAS a little 'brat' wasn't he! Fuck was with that attitude, in his pathetic state, and right in the midst of their supervillain lair? It was no wonder that he drove Vox to insanity sometimes.
He was genuinely making an effort to be hospitable and play 'pals' given his fragile condition - but Alastor was challenging him?
"Oh that's cute. But you didn't sound like this earlier, did you?" Fuck it, thought Valentino. Alastor was just asking for it. "When you were doing your very best impression of a frightened baby animal?"
"I'm quite sure I dont know what you mean," Alastor said airily, nose slightly shrivelled in distaste.
Ah yes! He was SO detached, wasn't he?
"Oh well maybe I can help you out there?" He offered, his tongue creeping out as he drawled, leaning forward. "Would you like to see the recording?"
A sudden static burst followed by silence. Alastor completely froze, though his head snapped up from his claws, giving Valentino his full attention.
Got him.
Velvette unceremoniously dropped a coffee mug down in front of Alastor. It splashed a little.
"There isn't any recording! Stop it Val. Remember about not torturing him? Bambi! You chill."
Spoilsport! She should've let him milk at least two-three minutes out of that. On a normal day, Velvette would eagerly, gleefully, join in this kind of game.
Valentino threw up his hands, "I was just KIDDING! And it wasn't torture Vel, c'mon, can't an Overlord take a joke?"
Now being verbally mean counts as torture - really?
"Alastor," she was snapping her fingers near his face. "Fucking coffee! C'mon."
Alastor remained perfectly still - but his antlers had started to branch and expand out - though only by a few inches. The claws of his left hand had also grown and had become embedded into the table.
Ah fuck. No, he did NOT want to trigger Radio Demons kaiju psycho-mode thing, especially not in his house. Alastor really was hyper sensitive though, wasn't he? Kind of reminded him of Vox.
"Alastor," asked Vel, "No sugar?"
"...No."
It took a few moments but Alastors antlers receeded and he untugged his claws free from the table, with one sharp yank. "What else is in this?" he asked her, lightly tapping the side of his mug with a claw.
(Valentino saw that Velvette had served him coffee in a 'Fuck Alastor' mug. His making Kitty source a different one had been pointless, pfft. Bitch really didn't notice his efforts.)
"Nothing extra added, you saw me make it. I can get you more painkiller - hows the head?"
"Mm, I've had quite enough drugs for today my dear, that last dose is still with me!" Alastor laughed a little and tapped his head like he remembered he had a sense of humour, then took a sip of his coffee. "Thank you."
Valentino had to admit - he was glad that Alastor had at least thanked Velvette, and was showing her some respect. All that tedious nursing and literal ass wiping that she'd been doing for him! Plus, Alastor had no idea but it normally took MONTHS of building up enough goodwill with Velvette that she would make a coffee for you.
He leaned back and checked his phone. Usually the Vees ordered take-out to eat in front of the TV - sitting at the diner table was a rarity for them. But they anticipated a body bag being dragged in, and that wouldn't fit on the coffee table.
....Valentino was kinda curious to look at the Radio Demon's food himself. How was it served, how did he eat it? Devour in one whole gulp? Would it look like some mega kinky vore thing? (Probably?) HAD to know.
Also, at some point he had made it his personal crusade to feed the stupid deer.
"We're getting that Rosie's Emporium stuff up here for you," he told Alastor casually, like it had been a straightforward process and not like trying to wring blood out of a fucking stone. "It was free when I said your name - you've got a special deal going with her I guess."
Alastors ears twitched very slightly and he rubbed uncomfortably at his neck. "You could say that," he sighed. There was a hint of bitterness in his voice - Valentino guessed he was annoyed that they were only doing this now.
Yeah, the asshole was Vox's personal prisoner. But one of them should've at least noticed he was going hungry days ago - that mistake was on all of them.
A video call came in from Voxs little stooge. (Fucking Ethan, blegh.) Val had told him to call when the delivery was made.
"Mr Valentino!!! SIR!!"
"Yeah, yeah. Send the food up already."
Ethan's eyes were wet and wobbling pathetically. There was a weird tapping noise that Valentino realised was the sound of Ethans bony knees knocking together.
"Fuck are you crying about NOW!?"
OOOOooo, how he fucking hated that whiny little twinky eel thing. He'd been complaining ALL DAY!
"I know Bambi threw up on me and I had to bandage him and do all that -" said Velvette from her corner of the table - like she forgot Alastor was sat right there for a moment - "but I'm glad it's YOU who has to deal with that little worm and not me," she cackled. Ethan generally elicited strong responses from both of them.
Valentino had given him explicit instructions that he was to manage two of the three branches of Voxtek while the Vees were on urgent business (Val and Vox's sections of the buisness - Melissa was handling Vel's end) Valentino couldn't ask Travis to manage fuck all, guy was a moron.
Despite telling Ethan not to bother him, Valentino received a stream of texts from the little shrimp all day anyway:
Mr Valentino Sir! Carmilla Carmichael is INSISTING she must speak to Vox, Travis is asking where the lube crates have been moved, Mammon wants to speak to Vox, Can I speak to Mr Vox please the shareholders are blablablah etc etc
"M-Mr Valentinooo, I, uh, she, uh, I, I I..."
"The fuck? Are you having a stroke?"
"S- she she ate one of the security guys Mr Valentino a-and she's heading up now w-we couldn't stop-"
"WHAT!?"
Valentino didn't need to guess who 'SHE' was.
"Velvette what the fuck! That Rosie bitch is coming up here? Who does she think she is!"
There was a pause before both of them scrambled from their seats.
Velvette began accessing the hologram video panels Vox had set up...
It was true. The cameras showed Rosie stepping out of an elevator with a small ensemble and a HUGE delivery on the 22nd floor, uninterrupted, and advancing to the next elevator...
"Ah SHIT! We should go and -"
"No, wait," Valentino turned to look down at Alastor. "She's like your fag-hag, right? Whats her fucking number? I'll call her and YOU tell her not to come in here..."
Alastors eyes were wide with amazement, pupils tiny. He had clearly not been expecting this either. At Valentino's suggestion he folded his arms and raised his eyebrows like he was saying 'Seriously, man?'
Valentino remembered how Alastor didn't even own a cel phone. "Ah, like either of you old dinosaur fucks would even use phones!"
"Hold on." Velvette took his arm. "This could be good PR..."
"I thought we agreed that we are in the middle of a huge cover-up Vel!" Vox missing, Alastor mauled - it would be good PR - HOW exactly?
"We cleaned up didn't we?" Velvette smiled like she was having a brilliant idea. "I think that bony old Grandma just wants to see if he's alright -" Velvette pointed to Alastor, "and he DOES look alright. The penthouse is spotless. If we go fight her now, HERE in Vee Tower - it'll be messy - and suspicious. Like, if we don't let her in, then she'll KNOW something is wrong."
"Ok..." it was Velvette who was in charge of PR for a reason. These were good points...
"I mean, put it this way - she's an Important Overlord making a delivery, in person, because we are so high profile. Looks good for us. And so what if Alastor is allowed a guest? Voxtek are merciful - I mean - whatever Vox was saying about the mercy stuff, all that shit. And she's the Overlord of Cannibal town - Vox has been trying to get their support for a long time - this could increase our popularity with them! And old-fashioned fossil geezers LOVE good hospitality. If we show good hospitality, we're golden."
Velvette was a fucking genius."Baaabe, I love it."
He looked towards Alastor. "Ok then - be on your very best behaviour for your visitor, Bambi."