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"We should just...do it." Barba leans close to Sonny again, and for the hundredth time that night, Sonny doesn't move away when Barba's face is just two inches away from his.
Definitely drunk, definitely happy with this proximity to the lawyer, Sonny smiles. "Do what, counselor?"
"It, Sonny. It."
Sonny does pull back this time, only in shock. To see more of Barba's face. To see Barba lick his lips while staring at Sonny, as if Sonny is a feast and Barba's famished.
"Wow, you're serious."
"I'm very serious."
And drunk, Sonny wants to add, but doesn't. They can't. Not tonight. They're drunk. Right? No, that's definitely wrong. Terribly wrong. Especially when Barba's never been this flirty with him. Sonny just thought Barba was having a lapse of judgement when he laughed and grabbed Sonny's arm earlier. But that was hours ago. Now Barba's nose is almost touching his and he's staring at Sonny's lips again.
"We...no, we can't."
Barba doesn't move. "Why not?" he asks, smile widening. "Have your eyes always been this blue?"
Sonny can't help but laugh. Drunk Barba flirts horribly.
"I know you've looked at my eyes before, Barba. Now, back to what I was saying, we can't tonight because we're both so drunk that I'm actually flattered by your terrible flirting."
"You should be flattered," Barba replies. "Reason the first, I don't flirt with just anyone. Second, it's not terrible."
Sonny's stomach flips, and when did this even happen? Just this afternoon Barba made another crack about night school, and now he's telling Sonny he doesn't flirt with just anyone. No, now he's stroking Sonny's hand with light fingers.
"Come here often?" Barba asks, jokingly flirting again.
Sonny laughs, hard, and he can't believe he's laughing this hard with Barba. At Barba. It's been like this all night, and it feels amazing. Barba's fingers traveling up his arm feels amazing. He bets Barba would feel amazing, on him, under him, in him--
Getting ahead, Sonny shakes his thoughts away.
"Look, text me tomorrow, text me in the next few days, let me get my head on and we'll talk about it, ok?"
"It only has to be once, Sonny," Barba tries. "Then we can go back to our lives and I can stop wondering what you look like naked."
Sonny has so many questions, so many, but this might be better when Barba's head is clear and he doesn't feel like he's crossing any lines, intruding on Barba's thoughts. About his naked body, apparently.
Plus, Sonny wants to argue that he's tried the "once" with a colleague before and it was not just once and it ended terribly. Sonny needs to prepare better for what he's possibly getting into. Sure, he's had a crush on Barba for a while, but he never thought he'd be getting this chance.
"Call me later. We'll talk about it."
Barba doesn't call the next day, not that Sonny really expected him to. During his walk home drunk from the bar, Sonny thought about the fact that Barba finally came on to him while completely drunk, so it is probably not something Barba will do sober. Plus, he might be embarrassed of being rejected. Sonny wishes he'd made it more clear that isn't wasn't a complete rejection, just a rain-check.
Sonny wakes up the next morning not really wanting to hold any conversations anyway. He's glad it's Saturday and that he can sleep off a hangover. But every time he wakes up from another nap, he is disappointed there are no calls or texts.
Sonny doesn't even see Barba for a few days. Instead of popping up at the precinct, Benson goes to him. Maybe he is embarrassed, Sonny thinks, hoping dearly that that's not the case. He thinks about calling Barba himself, but realizes it's probably best not to bug him. It's probably best to let this pass.
He wonders how much time is appropriate time to pretend to forget someone mentioning they want to see you naked.
Probably more than a few days.
By Thursday, he actually manages to stop thinking about it. If Barba wants to avoid him forever, whatever.
That is until a younger guy in a nicer suit than Sonny's walks up to his desk and hands him a manila envelope.
"What's this?" Sonny asks.
"It's from ADA Barba. He asked me to wait for a response. He said it's something he needs urgently. But hey, where's the restroom?"
Sonny points the kid in the right direction, then takes open the thin folder to find the important papers inside.
There is only one paper, and it's blank but for a small paragraph at the top.
"Detective Carisi," it reads, "I am embarrassed to admit this, but I dropped my phone in the toilet a few days ago. I just got a replacement. I no longer have your cell phone number and I couldn't ask Olivia for it without that being weird. If you would be so kind as to give it to me again, I'd like to discuss the other night. Rafael Barba."
Sonny half smiles. At least Rafael wants to discuss what happened, but Sonny is afraid Rafael's going to reject him this time. Take it all back. Apologize tastefully. Dump Sonny before he even gets a chance.
Sonny writes back in his scratchy handwriting.
"Likely excuse, Barba," and then he writes his phone number as legibly as possible. He signs the bottom, "Sonny Carisi."
By the time he's packed the letter up again, the young man is back and takes it away from Sonny.
All Sonny can do now is wait.
He gets a text early in the evening on Friday, when he's on his way home (early) from work. It's from Barba, a number he's had saved in his phone for, like, a year, but has never used for personal business.
This is pretty personal.
"Carisi," it reads, and Sonny loses hope immediately. "I apologize for my behavior the other night. I was drunk, and you were right to reject me. I appreciate that. The way I handled being alone with you was not the way I wanted all of that to come out."
Sonny reads that a few times to try to understand. "The way I handled being alone with you." "All of that." What?!
Sonny replies, "I don't understand. You...want to say those things?"
"Yes, Carisi. I'd like to pursue a chance of physical intimacy with you, if that's all right. I want to be open and honest."
Sonny almost drops his phone on the street. Before he can, he gets another text.
"I can try flirting poorly again if you'd like."
The earlier "if that's all right" was more than Sonny needed for this.
"How about dinner?" Sonny replies.
He gets to his building, hopping happily up the stairs of the stoop because he's pretty sure he just asked Barba out. And Barba's not going to say no, he practically put the words in Sonny's mouth.
Sonny gets to the elevator and smiles at a neighbor getting in next to him, the little old lady who lives the floor below him.
His phone vibrates again.
"I don't want to watch you eat, I want to suck you off."
Sonny inhales so quickly that he chokes, coughing to catch his breath. The little old lady pats his back and Sonny shoves his phone deep into his pocket so she won't see that text. He makes a mental note to screen cap it to hold as blackmail then next time Barba is mean to him. He imagines it, in the middle of the precinct, Barba cracking a joke about night school, and Sonny saying, "Hey remember that time you flat out told me you want to suck my dick?"
Thankfully he catches his breath when the elevator stops on his floor, so he stumbles out and rushes into his apartment.
He tries to think of something really clever to reply, but all he can think of is, "Jesus, Barba."
"I told you I want to be straight forward and honest."
Sonny laughs. Leave it to Barba to skip every bit of a relationship, even pleasantries, and go straight to dirty talk via text message.
"Then we'll talk about it," Sonny replies, and then they do talk. For the rest of the evening they talk about nothing important, and it's the best conversation Sonny's ever had with him.
After the conversation ends later that night, they don't talk again all weekend. Sonny doesn't think about it much, content with where they got.
He does go to the gym though, because he's been feeling a little flabby and wants to be in top shape to fulfill Barba's fantasies of his naked body.
They see each other for the first time Monday. Barba's in a navy blue suit with a white shirt and pink tie, matching pink socks. They're cute, his ridiculous color coordination is always a little bit cute to Sonny. Sometimes he wonders if he could get away with pink socks.
The second their meeting ends, Sonny sends a text.
"Your pink socks are sexy."
Barba's barely to the elevator, but Sonny gets a reply almost immediately.
"My briefs match."
Sonny laughs. Of course they do.
On Tuesday, Sonny gets a text while pacing across the floor in Barba's office while listening to Benson.
"Roll your sleeves down, it's distracting."
Sonny grins. He doesn't roll his sleeves down.
"Well...I have been working out."
He notices Barba roll his eyes right after checking his phone.
A few more days of flirty texts later, they get down to business: planning this whole thing. Sonny knows Barba is a meticulous guy and even he doesn't really want to just go with the flow with this, he wants to be prepared.
"So your place or mine?" Sonny texts one night.
"What color are your sheets?"
Confused, Sonny writes back, "You're making this decision based on the color of my sheets?"
"Of course. Not every color is flattering to my skin tone, Carisi."
Sonny laughs at that. "Fair enough...they're navy blue."
Barba takes so long to reply, Sonny begins to not even expect one. But finally his phone buzzes.
"We'll talk about it."
"So...all you want is sex." Sonny sends one evening. It's out of the blue, because instead of discussing their desire for each other, they'd been discussing music.
"What is your obsession with using ellipsis? And yes, even though that was not a question. No strings attached, you don't even have to spend the night."
"Wait, I thought we were still discussing the location."
"It could be my office for all I care."
"So you've had that fantasy too?" Sonny adds a winking face at the end of that text.
Weeks go by, and a few tough cases makes in almost impossible for them to talk as much as Sonny wants to. Not only is it nice to hear (or read) how much someone (Barba!) wants him, it's getting just nice to talk to Barba. He's actually pleasant. He hasn't teased Sonny nearly as much as usual since they started whatever this is. They share many common interests. Sonny figures, with their no-strings-attached agreement, even if he sex doesn't work out, at least he's got a new friend.
A new friend he's been trying not to pine over for a year. A new friend with a great face and a great ass. A new friend he'll see naked soon enough.
Sonny looks more and more forward to that part in particular the more they talk about it. The most of Barba's skin he's ever seen is his arms when he rolls his sleeves up, but Sonny wants to see more.
Like now, Sonny's thinking about it, watching Barba talking to Benson at the long meeting table in the office. Barba's sleeves are rolled up and he's popping pretzels into his mouth.
Sonny watches him. He used to watch him before, before all of this, when it was an unrequited crush, but now he watches Barba as someone who is pretty much allowed to look.
Barba, Barba, Barba. Sonny wonders what he's supposed to call Barba in bed.
Might as well ask. And he has to ask now because watching Barba get flustered while talking to Benson will be hilarious.
"Hey, what am I supposed to call you while you're sucking my dick?"
Sonny watches Barba pull his phone out of his pocket, read the text, choke on a pretzel, and slam his phone face down onto the table.
Sonny laughs so hard he's sure Barba and Benson can hear him. Benson asks Barba if he's alright, then finally Barba gets his breath back and they resume working. Sonny doesn't get a reply, but the flustered look on Barba's face never disappears.
Finally (finally!) Sonny thinks every bit of an evening they could have is planned and agreed on. One night only, at Barba's apartment (apparently the bed is bigger), Sonny will not spend the night, no alcohol, they'll go by their first names, showing up with underwear on is optional. Oh, and Sonny will bottom. Because he wanted to anyway.
They choose the upcoming weekend to get together. Sonny hits the gym again, and he lays off the sweets for a few days, like it'll help him look more fit not eating a Poptart at breakfast.
On Wednesday, the same young suited man who practically started this whole thing walks into the precinct with another envelope for Sonny, addressed from ADA Barba.
Confused, Sonny takes it and opens it. Again, the guy excuses himself to the restroom, but Sonny is glad this time because it's a freakin' contract to their one night together.
The four page document covers all bases: one night, Barba's -no, Rafael's- house, no cuddling, no sleeping at Rafael's house. No dinner date before, no alcohol, and no breakfast in the morning. Rafael even adds pretty much exactly what he wants to do to Sonny.
On the final page, there are three lines for signatures: Sonny's, Rafael's, and the notary's.
Sonny is instantly embarrassed, because another lawyer has read this and knows exactly how long Rafael plans to finger Sonny, and that some guy had to ride across town with this document on his persons. But, at the same time, it just makes Sonny a little more excited.
Sonny reads through it one more time, then signs on the dotted line. He manages to get it back in the envelope before the guy gets back, so he hands it over and the guy leaves.
It's Saturday night, Sonny's laying panting in a giant bed with maroon sheets and a sweaty Cuban next to him. He has a pleasant soreness pretty much all over his body, and a very pleasant buzz in his brain.
"How was that, Rafael? Did I live up to expectations?"
Rafael is silent next to him, also trying to catch his breath.
Sonny begins to think of an exit plan. Just get up and leave? Add a, 'well, this was fun, see you at work Monday.' Or, 'congratulations on that dick.'? Should Sonny thank him?
"So..." is all he gets out.
"God, you even speak in ellipsis."
Sonny chuckles. "All right, I'll get outta your hair. Thanks. Y'know, for sex."
Rafael huffs out a laugh. "You're welcome. For sex."
Sonny sits up and reaches around the ground for his underwear, the sexy black pair.
Once he's fully dressed, he grabs his shoes and moves to walk out the door.
"See you Monday," he mutters over his shoulder. "Hey, I'll find that book I was telling you about and send it over this week."
He doesn't notice Rafael is behind him until he gets almost to the front door.
"Jesus, you scared me."
Rafael looks confused, distraught. Sonny hopes he isn't regretting this. Just once, they'd agreed.
"Look Sonny," he says, eyebrows pushed together in thought. "I...wouldn't mind breaking the contract."
Sonny grins. "What, you wanna do this again some time? Gotta be honest, I was kind of hoping--"
"No, yes. Well, not just that."
Sonny slings his coat over his shoulder. "Uh...ok?"
"I want to go to dinner. With you."
Sonny lifts an eyebrow. "You wanna go out with me?"
"Just once. See how it goes."
Sonny cracks a smile. "You caught feelings," he teases.
Rafael rolls his eyes. "Get out, before I change my mind."
"Call me," Sonny says, huge grin on his face, then turns around to leave.
"Hey Carisi," he hears, before Barba's grabbing his arm and pulling him back. Then his lips are pressed firmly against Sonny's. He's smiling. Sonny smiles.
God help him, Sonny's heart hammers, happy that Barba's asked him out and he doesn't have to convince himself he's 100% okay with this 'one time' bullshit.
He probably would've tried to ask Barba out anyway.
Finally, Barba ends the kiss.
"Next time, you can make breakfast."
Sonny laughs. "You gonna send a contract over? Hey, if you do, could you not add the private stuff?"
Barba laughs now. "I'll just call you."
Sonny, still smiling, kisses him one more time before leaving the apartment altogether. Completely content, and very excited.