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When Nastya went Out she hadn’t expected it to be this lonely.
She knew space was big, really big.
But she had been floating for a long time.
She really thought that she would have come across something after all of her years - however many there were she had stopped counting somewhere in the 8000’s. But there was just endless space, no planets or ships, asteroids or even space junk. If she was being honest she thought that she would have ceased to exist within a few moments of going Out but she had remained alone for longer than she had ever thought possible. Nastya could never bring herself to regret the decision - no matter how long she floated - she had saved the love of her life and she would take several eternities of this meaningless floating, if it meant saving Aurora. But that didn’t mean that she didn’t desperately wish that some ship would pass her by and free her from this existence.
But they never did. And so she drifted on. Gripping on tightly to the last panel of the Aurora, whispering to her any of the constellations that she could remember. But as the days passed she exited out of the space of her knowledge and so their forever slowly began more and more quiet. However even in the silence the Aurora gave her purpose in the infinite - no living thing is made to witness eternity; not even an immortal was made to last this long. Some days she wished that the Aurora had ever so slightly sharper edges, then those days would pass and she would hate herself for even thinking of leaving the Aurora alone. As long as they were together they would endure, through the unknown stars, through the silence, through everything.
She couldn’t pinpoint exactly where it happened but somewhere along her endless voyage through space the black turned into navy and the future seemed to shimmer in front of her. The stars and their light softened at the edges and became clouds. It wasn’t as if she had made her way onto a planet - but that she had transversed across all that space had to offer so that it had yielded and made its way into the ocean.
Nastya had then switched to drifting for floating and for the first decade she had tried desperately to keep the Aurora above the water. But despite how much she tried her arms up one day they failed and her metal fell in the water. Nastya was able to dive down into the water to regain the Aurora. And they were fine for another few hundred years, letting time pass through them, but eventually as she knew it would: the Aurora began to rust. Nastya began to hope against all hope that corrosion would not be the fate of her beloved- but she knew that as time passed through them her love would slowly leave her for the sea. She could tell you the exact moment the last atom of Aurora was taken by the rust because it was the first time in her life that she was ever truly alone.
And it was like that and Nastya hated it. Her mechanism still floods through her veins just as well as it always had. There was only the sea; the sky never changed from its murky grey colour; she had no way to count the passing of the days but for the pumping of mercury through her veins and her heart beat.
Nastya had thought of the others at first - she had said at first that there was nothing back at the new Aurora for her. But that had never been true, she loved her brother more than any other person she had ever met. Jonny had watched her leave, she would always hate herself for that. She had gone to ask the new Aurora to trap him in his room when she went so that he would have to watch her freeze to death. But then in a moment of weakness she didn't want to say goodbye to him - the only person that she had thought would never leave her. He had been with her through everything and it seemed fitting that Nastya should be the one to break it for she knew that Jonny - though he would never say such a thing- would rather die than leave her alone. So she had waved goodbye to the last piece of human contact that she had for an age and drifted out into space.
And the crew too despite their mutilation of the Aurora, she cared for them deeply, and it had hurt her more than she thought it would to leave them. Nastya wished that she had been able to wish them farewell to them all - to Raphella who was always so interested about how she fixed the Aurora, to Tim that had always begged her to make him new weapons of destruction, to Marius and Ivy who loved to tell her stories when she couldn’t sleep properly. Even to the Toy Soldier who’d always knocked on Nastya’s door when it got hurt waiting for her to fix its wooden body, or to sweet Brian who’d always give her a hug after she went through the pain of regenerations, and hell what she wouldn’t give to say good bye to any of them even Ashes who’d never once been kind to her Aurora. She missed them dearly but she didn’t once believe that things could have gone any other way. She seemed destined to be alone, without her love, her brother and her family.
So Nastya floated; it had been so long without moving she could feel her muscles giving way and her mind grew slower with disuse. But what she noticed most was that she could feel her heart beating slower, making her mercury blood lazily move through her veins. Her body grew so heavily that one day she just closed her eyes and didn’t plan on opening them again. She supposed for someone who was always on the move a slow and stagnant death seemed appropriate. At this point Nastya couldn’t distinguish the feelings of life and death, nothing moved around her, nothing made a sound, nothing was, she knew that death - pure and permanent - would not be much removed from this. So she welcomed the silence and let her blood slow to an almost stationary pace.
Nastya’s eyes flew open as her body hit something, she struggled to see the thing that she had bumped into, struggling against her weak muscles and sluggish blood. It took her almost a day to reset her mechanism to its old pace and be able to sit up and look around. She was sitting on a sand bar facing an old slightly green pier stretching out into the sea that she had just floated across. Behind her were beautiful rolling hills stretching out to the horizon with nothing spoiling them save for an old stone lighthouse that sat on the top of a rocky cliff.
She fell down onto her knees hands grasping at the sand letting it flow through her fingers - after so long in nowhere she was somewhere, and she fucking loved it. She let out a rough last, her voice cracking from disuse. She grabbed some more sand standing up and twirling around breathing in the salty air and letting the sand catch in the wind - she tripped her feet not used to standing let alone spinning and she came crashing to the floor but she couldn't care less she was just so happy to be somewhere. Nastya stayed on the sandy floor letting the sun kiss her skin and basking in the novelty of being.
It took her another couple of days to begin to move from the sand bar where she had drunk the salty sea water - savouring the burning of her eyes as she ducked her head under the water. It was only after she began to feel hungry after so many years did she begin to make her way up to the lighthouse. It took her hours to scale the cliff - her lungs did not use this level of exertion. But slowly and surely she made her way to the lighthouse.
Up close she could see that the light house was way old - a lot older than she could have seen from the shore. The stones were large and had moss growing in between them, there were only a handful of windows up along the length of the lighthouse, the majority of them were cracked beyond repair and seemed to let the cool ocean air in. The door was old and wooden and creaked and she pushed it open. The inside was just as cold and drafty but that was not what caught her eye.
Standing in front of a rusty metal kitchenette was someone. They were standing waiting for a kettle to boil, they hadn’t seen her yet. Seeing someone was such an unfamiliar sight that she could help the involuntary gasp. The person whipped around and seemed just as surprised to see her that she was to see him. He smiled gently, “Hello would you like a cup of tea?” he said gently.
Nastya only gaped at him, before stuttering into the first conversation that she could even remember having, “Hello?”
“Oh how rude of me, my name is Martin?”
“I thought no one was here.”
‘Here? Oh fair enough this is the Lonely so…”
She looked over at Martin uncomprehendingly, "It's a long story, I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you. But please have a seat, do you take milk or sugar?”
“No, nothing for me but-”
He cut her off, “Sorry what did you say your name was?”
“Oh I didn’t but I’m Nastya Rasputina. But- but you know where we are?”
Martin hummed in affirmation, "Of course my boss manages this place, it's where people who are lonely get stuck. Tell me Nastya, are you lonely?”
“Yes, I suppose I just lost the love of my life.”
“Ah, I’m sorry about that, I’m here for a loved one too so I get that,” He put a steaming cup of tea in front of her, “English breakfast.”
“Thank you.” She wrapped her hands around it letting the heat seep into her weary bones and savouring being in someone's presence again. “It's so nice to hear someone's voice again.”
Martin smiled brightly, “I bet, how long have you been stuck here?”
“Oh it's got to be hundreds if not thousands of years. How long have you been alone.”
“Nothing even close to that! Just under a year, but times are hard.”
“You're not even going to question my being thousands of years old?”
“Ha, believe me, my line of work is far from the strangest thing I have heard.”
“Oh”
“Thank you for the tea, Martin, it's been really nice to speak with someone again.”
“Of course, you're not thinking of leaving, are you?”
“I was thi-” Nastya cut herself off, now that she thought about being alone again she was certain that she would never leave this stranger’s side, “No, no I don’t think that I would survive that.”
“Oh Nastya I’m so glad to hear that, would you like a hug?”
Nastya didn’t even hesitate or think to answer before she flung herself around the table and into the embrace. She hugged him tight, her face burying into his knitted jumper and hands squeezing him into her chest. “Thank you Martin, thank you.”
He chuckled and she could feel his breath on the back of her neck, “You know this is the best hug that I have had in a while. My co-workers, especially my boss, are very stiff huggers. So thank you Nastya.”
“My honor Martin.”
It was an old domestic living with Martin, she would go out each day and find them something to eat and he would make sure there was a boiled pot of water sitting on the table when she returned. He had told her about his boyfriend Jonathan Sims and his co-workers Melanie and Basira and in return she had told him about the Aurora and the other mechanisms - in the face of isolation he hadn’t dared comment about her not being from earth. And so they grew to trust one another.
The days bleed into one long autumn - the mild weather never clearing, the wind still beat down on their lighthouse. At first they tried to keep track of the time but after a week or so they stopped and just began rising with the sun and going to sleep when it got dark. The cycle of light never seemed to match up day to day, sometimes the day time stretched from almost 20 hours to only a small handful. So they had just let the time pass through them, Nastya would have been surprised if she had ended up living with Martin for longer than she had on the aurora. But despite how the years passed - and they died at an alarmingly fast rate - neither she nor Martin had shown any signs of age but it was far from the immortality that she had been accustomed to.
Their coexistence never seemed to totally overlay the loneliness that her life had taken as a constant. The Lonely as she had learned was ever present as heaviness of the fog in the air. The weather was always aggressively mild, save for the cold wind that brought in the fog every hour on the dot. The clouds were heavy but never deigned to rain, the salt was thick and never ending. Every breath she took despite her efforts, put more and more of the sea salt into her lungs, each inhale she grew more and more worried for the health of her metallic blood - she wasn't scared of leaving this earth; to follow the Aurora. But she wasn’t quite ready to leave Martin totally alone in this place yet. So at the end of each ‘day’ she took great care to pluck out any rust that formed in her veins.
And so they lived, and their days became monotonous yet not unpleasant. Nothing changed from day to day, or year to year, or even decade to decade.
It was another mild day when it happened, Nastya had fallen ill and was just shaking the last of the sickness in her room when she heard yelling from downstairs. She pushed herself off her bed and began to make her way down the winding stairs to the kitchen. The door was shut and she could hear Martin making them tea from inside, no yelling in sight. She stayed by the door waiting to see if Martin was in trouble, just as she was about to make her way back up the light house she heard it again. There was definitely something outside the building calling for someone. Nastya out of a nearly lost instinct looked around for something to defend them with, there was a glass bottle that had drifted to the shore that she had found one day that she had collected and planned to clean out to store Martin’s tea in but never did. She raced back up the stairs to collect it, and managed to locate it under the mess of clothes and tissues that she had been hiding under for the past few days. Once she had the bottle she smashed it against the stone wall creating a sharp and jagged edge, with it she ran down the stairs two at a time.
When she reached the door Nastya brandished her weapon and put her ear to the door one last time. Through it she heard Martin and someone else talking, she placed her hand on the door knob. She was not about to let someone take the only person in her living memory. Taken from the safety of the lighthouse where the only danger was isolation, out into the world that had been so unkind to her and all the people she loved. Just as she was about to push through the door she heard movement and someone yell, “Martin look out, there’s someone listening behind that door.”
Fear clenched her heart as she felt completely and utterly seen for the first time in her immortal life - all her fears, hopes, dreams and failures all on display. She felt an unflinching eye settle on her, she wanted to cry, throw up, laugh and yell all at the same time. But she had a friend to save so she pushed the fear aside and dove into the room.
As quickly as she could she launched in between Martin and the newcomer, grabbing his arm and roughly pulling him behind her, she thrust the bottle into the new man’s face.
“Back the fuck up! You don’t get to touch Martin or I will make you regret it!” She growled.
The stranger did not flinch but began to yell, “Ceaseless Watcher turn your gaz-”
Before she could think, Martin had freed himself from her grip and pushed her and the other man away from each other, “Enough. Jon! Nastya! We have already lost so many people, I don’t think we should have to lose more. So let's all just calm down.”
Nastya shot Martin a glance and let her hand fall back to her side and she surveyed the other person. He was dressed in a dirty green jumper, an off white button up shirt but something startlingly of all a very recognisable ratty brown coat.
“Jon, this is Nastya, she has been living with me here in The Lonely. And Nastya this is-”
Martin was cut off by an achingly familiar voice, “Nastya?”
She looked up and into the eyes of her brother. The one she thought that she had left behind forever on the floating remains of her lover. The brother that had screamed for her to reconsider going out. The brother that thought she would live the rest of her wretched life without. Who had killed and died for her, been a shoulder to cry on and the only human that she could spend hours with without getting tired. God she loved him, and she was surprised that leaving him hadn't killed her. She was certain it would when she left; neither of them were good on their own. They gave each other purpose but they had lost it. They had lost each other. But now Jon, her brother was standing right in front of him- sure had a few more scars than when she had last seen him. But nonetheless he was here.
Nastya in one quick step made her way around Martin and in front of her brother. She leaned down and took his face in one of her hands, as she examined the new pockmark scars that adorned his face, they seemed to be deep and painful. She then tilted his face up so she could look into the eyes that she would have killed to see once more.
“Fuck! It's you! Nastya…”
“Hi Jonny.”
He looked back at her before throwing himself into her chest in a hug, which she returned immediately. Her head resting snugly on the top of his head, she wrapped her arms around him and swayed them back and forth.
“I thought you were dead.”
“I thought that I would be too.”
“Did you want to be?”
“I-uh didn’t really care if I lived or died, I just wanted space.”
“And you got it.”
“Too much of it.”
“Where did you go?”
“I went out. I drifted through space for so long that it went and ran out on me, so then because I hadn’t quite gotten enough drifting so I floated through a thousand oceans worth of the shit and ended up here.”
“Is she with you?”
Nastya knew he meant Aurora without even asking, “No, she died, properly this time hundreds of years before I came ashore.”
“Oh I’m sorry,”
“Me too, Jonny, me too. But what happened to you, you sound very… British?”
“Oh yeah, Nothing was quite the same without you Nas, the crew just kinda drifted apart, we crashed here on earth some 10 years ago, the smart ones managed to find a way back out into space- so it was only Tim, TS and I that are still here - on earth I mean. So I had to find a way to pay the bills so I became an archivist at the Magnus Institute and ended up here trying to save the love of my life from total isolation.”
“Hang on an archivist?”
“Oh yeah Nas watch what I can do now?” He turned and trained his eyes on the jar of sugar that was sitting by the kettle, “Ceaseless Watcher turn your gaze on this wretched thing.” There was a flash of green light and the jar shattered into pieces, spilling the sugar all over the table. Nastya turned back to her brother, her eyes wide,”Woah, you're telling me you can explode stuff with your mind now?”
“Not quite but yeah,”
She laughed, “Look out world, here comes Jonny D’ville.”
“I missed you Nas.”
“I missed you too.”
“I love you.”
“Oh, Jonny admitting affection,” She pulled him into another hug, “I love you too.”
“I am sorry? You know each other.”
Nastya stood back from her brother, “Wait…” she looked between them, “Oh my god he is the love of your life that you were trying to save.”
“I’m sorry, love of your life? Martin, you have told me I love you enough yet.”
“Yeah you have,” Martin blushed, “But I’m sorry, you know each other?”
Jon grinned, “She’s my sister, we grew up together.”
“But she’s from space… Oh my god.”
“You told him?”
“Well, I didn’t think he would have had a mechanism for a boss did I?”
“You were his boss?”
“You’re siblings?”
Jon looked between them, “I think we have a lot to catch up on, but I think we should probably do it out in the real world.” Jon grabbed Martin’s hand and slung an arm around Nasty and they walked out of the lighthouse, out of the beach and out of the loneliness together.
With her brother by her side once more. And she knew in her heart that she would never leave his side again. They may never be the mechanisms again but by god nothing could separate her and Jon. Not even the reaper could separate them for long. If death were to take one of them it would take them both. But right now she was where she needed to be with the two people she cared for most, with them she would never be alone. With them despite everyone she had lost she could be happy, and she would live another thousand years for them. And for the first time in living memory Nastya didn’t expect to live the rest of her life alone.