Work Text:
It was a regular day at work. It was supposed to be one, at least. Kunikida really tried to keep it all together and act normally. If only his workplace wasn't full of detectives, it would work out.
"You're jumpy today, aren't you?" Dazai showed up behind Kunikida, leaning over his shoulder. He would love to deny it, but he literally jumped in his seat when he heard his coworker so close. Somehow it was still surprising how quiet Dazai could be if he wanted. "Hiding something from us? Kunikida, you know that's not nice."
"I am not hiding anything, your mind is playing tricks on you. You should get back to work by the way." The blonde man said, pushing his glasses up.
"You're not only hiding, but you're also lying about it now. You’re hurting me." Dazai commented, dramatically putting his hands over his heart.
"I'm not hiding anything." He repeated, accenting every word in that sentence.
"Yeah, except for your date with a Port Mafia executive." Edogawa said, loudly enough for everyone around to hear.
The office became dead silent after that addition. For a moment nobody dared to move or even breathe. Then, both Kunikida and Dazai spoke at the same time.
“Was that necessary, Ranpo?”
“Who?”
Of course the detective answered only one of those questions, and it wasn’t the one Kunikida hoped for.
“Chuuya Nakahara, duh.” With that Ranpo shrugged and focused on the sweets brought on earlier by Poe.
Kunikida could feel both a blush and headache creeping on him. The room was silent again.
Suddenly, Dazai bursted out laughing.
“I can’t believe you’re dating Chuuya out of all possibilities!” He was wiping fake tears while saying that.
“I don’t think it’s this absurd…” He murmured. “Also, the lunch break ended half an hour ago. You all should be working.” This was said much louder, addressing all of the Agency workers, who now sat and listened in to the conversation, even if they tried to act otherwise.
“I didn’t say it is absurd, I just think it’s funny that my current work partner is dating my previous work partner and also my ex.”
The room fell silent again. For most of the workers the relationship was a new information with how secretive Dazai acted. Kunikida just sighed. He already knew about this; he suspected it and then Nakahara proved it.
Luckily that impromptu break couldn’t last forever, but even when most of his coworkers went back to their tasks, Dazai still stayed glued to Kunikida, asking all kinds of unwanted questions. Kunikida tried to ignore all of it and do his work, but it was pretty much impossible now when Dazai picked him as a victim to annoy. He really should be used to it by now, but he wasn’t.
“So, what did I miss?” Dazai sat on Kunikida's desk, ignoring the annoyed look on his face.
“Nothing really.”
“There has to be something. What happened to bring you so close? What do you see in this slug?”
“Nothing, you, and he’s just nice to be around.” The blonde decided to just answer, hoping for it to shorten his pains. Of course it didn’t work.
“How the hell am I the reason? I don’t remember organising a blind date to merge two anger issues. Also, he isn’t nice to be around, he’s a pain in the ass.”
“Well, you see, you are a great subject to bond over.” He said, his tone cutting. Dazai ignored it. Instead of reacting, he asked a question Kunikida knew was brewing in his head since the beginning of his Q&A session.
“Have you two done it already?”
He knew this question would pop up, but Kunikida still blushed and turned his head.
“I’m pretty sure this question is an HR violation.”
“We don’t have an HR department.” Dazai leaned closer with a smug smile. “I’m taking this answer as a no.”
“It’s really none of your business.”
“You’re right. But it’s too much fun to stop.” For just a moment there was something sadistic in his voice. “How many dates were you on? I don’t think this slug will be able to keep it like that for much longer, you’ll have to give in soon.”
Answering the questions didn’t get Kunikida the desired peace, so he stayed silent. Dazai prodded for a few minutes longer, but after seeing no reaction he surrendered and went to do nothing in a different corner of the office.
Although he tried not to show it, the last comment from Dazai was really going around his head. He liked spending time with Nakahara, but sex was somewhat of a nonexisting topic for now. It wasn’t one he wanted to start. They were on how many dates? Three? Four if counting the first, accidental one. In his two decades of living he focused on everything but relationships, so he had to admit that it was new for him. He always imagined his perfect wife, but now there he was, with a hot headed, ginger man from an enemy organisation.
Lost in both his thoughts and work, he didn’t even notice that he finished his shift already.
“Kunikida, if you have anything to finish you can give it to me and go.” Nakajima said, coming to Kunikida’s desk. He couldn’t help but smile at it.
“Thank you Atsushi, that’s very nice of you.” He thought for a moment after that. “You seem to be the only one beside Ranpo not shocked about my plans today.” His voice was bordering on amusement, but he didn’t try to hide his curiosity.
“Oh, um…” The younger man started fidgeting in place. “I sorta, em, heard about it already. Well, not about today, but overall about the whole thing…”
Nakajima’s words were getting more and more quiet with every syllable. He looked like a child caught doing something it shouldn’t do. Even for Kunikida it was funny to look at.
“Don’t worry, I think I’m the only one who knows!” He put his hands up in a surrendering gesture. “Lucy too…” He added with a whisper. Kunikida shook his head at it, but there was a smile on his face.
“And how did you two find out?” He asked, although he already suspected what the answer would be. Nakajima didn’t look happy to answer that question. “Come on, I’m a detective too, you know? Maybe not as good as Ranpo, but still.”
“Akutagawa told us…“ At that Kunikida hummed. It was a bit predictable in the end.
“Okay. We cleared that thing, so I think I can go. Thank you for offering to take the rest of my papers. There isn’t a lot though, you can leave it as it is.” He smiled and started packing his bag.
While walking out of the office Kunikida saw Dazai making obnoxious gestures in his direction, but he didn’t comment on them, just shook his head and went off.
On the other side of the street from the Agency building a car was parked. He immediately came up to it and, as he expected, found Nakahara waiting behind the wheel.
“Hi.” Kunikida simply said, getting into the vehicle. There was that faint, but distinct metallic smell in the car that somehow pierced through any fragrance Nakahara had on himself. Kunikida really tried to ignore it and now he felt as if he was getting used to it.
“How’s work?” Nakahara asked, turning on the engine.
Kunikida couldn’t help but smile at the question.
“Well, I definitely found out that your subordinate is a gossip.” For a moment there was silence while Nakahara was connecting the dots and focusing on driving in the small alleys.
“Shit, I didn’t even tell him anything…”
“Doesn’t matter, it was Ranpo who told on us. Dazai is having a field day with this.”
“Why am I not surprised, tell me?”
“I have no idea.” Kunikida answered sarcastically.
There was a pleasant silence as they drove into the traffic. On their earlier meetings Kunikida pretty quickly discovered that they were both quite comfortable with just sitting like that, without saying anything.
“Just…” Nakahara started, but seemed unsure what to say exactly, which was a new thing for Kunikida. “Just don’t let him get into your head. I know how stupid it sounds, you pretty much know what he’s capable of doing, but really, just don’t let him.”
Nakahara was right, it did sound stupid when they talked about Dazai of all people, but it was something Kunikida needed to hear after constant comments from the man.
“I’ll try.”