Chapter Text
“Just a few more days and I'll be home.” Is what Dan keeps telling himself as he lays on his back in the small tour bus bunk, the silence of the bus ruined by Dan’s wailing thoughts. It’s 18:35 and Dan has no idea how long he’s been quietly in his own head. He lazily opens his camera roll and clicks on the last image of Phil he had saved.
Phil was in his natural state, Minecraft pyjamas and a white t-shirt, with the hat he wears like a wedding ring and untamed hair poking out. The hat was a constant reminder of Dan, and somehow an effective migraine cure. Dan sat at the other end of their sofa, not realising how intensely he was admiring his partner. It had been 13 years since they met and Dan did not know how to take the pure adoration from his eyes upon every glance he made at Phil. He took the moment as an opportunity just days before he left for tour to take a picture of Phil in this relaxed attitude so he could look back on it later.
He’s been staring at the same photo completely lost in thought for at least 15 minutes when he’s loudly interrupted by another member on the bus inviting him to drink with them. Dan jumps, slightly startled by the sudden interaction before processing a response.
“Yeah, I guess.” Dan groans as he takes one last glance at the photo on his phone before returning it to the pocket of his black jeans. He throws one of the merch hoodies they’re selling throughout the tour over his head and rushes off of the bus to catch up with the others before they leave without him.
****
They’ve been out for around 4 hours by the time Dan realises just how many drinks he’s had, and the alcohol did not soothe the empty feeling the absence of his other half had left him. Instead, it just made him crave Phil’s presence more. It was hard to keep his mouth closed about how much he adored him, scared for people to overhear.
It’s 23:43 when they decide to return to the comfort of the tour bus, mostly so a very drunken Dan can attempt to sober up, and partially so everyone can have a break from hearing how beautiful Phil’s eyes are.
Dan stumbles into the bus, nearly falling face first into the step but thankfully catches himself with his hands. Dan may be too drunk to be coherent or even think properly, but there is one thing always on his mind that no amount of alcohol could make him forget. Phil.
He rushes into the bathroom, swiftly locking the door behind him. He struggles with his jeans to get his phone out of his pocket and has a slight moment of surprise that it even remained safely in there given his current state. He spends more time than necessary figuring out his password, in too much of a rush to get his phone open. His phone opens to the photo he had previously been staring at and he takes a moment to admire Phil once more before opening his call log, his last call being Phil, followed by his mum and his grandma.
He swiftly clicks Phil’s name, knowing he will be awake. Before Phil can even answer Dan’s call, Dan’s eyes well with tears. This is the longest they’ve ever been apart, and he is not taking it well. Phil hadn’t been taking it very easily either, however right now one of them was at home sober and the other was on a bus in a very drunken state.
Phil answers the call, and, slightly alarmed by Dan’s urgency, asks if everything is okay. Dan, much too drunk to think about that, swiftly interrupts him.
“Phil, I miss you!!”
Directly into the speaker, which half deafens Phil, who at this point realises Dan is not sober and jerks his head away from the phone, only returning to it after scratching the ear that his sickeningly sweet drunken partner had just burst.
“I miss you too, Bear. Please tell me you are at least in the tour bus if you’re this fucked.” Phil chimes back, his voice echoing with adoration for Dan.
Bear. Dan’s childhood nickname, hearing it from Phil makes Dan’s heart swell every time. It’s much worse now that there’s such a distance between them. The ache in Dan’s chest feels much heavier than it did a moment ago.
Dan’s teary eyes turn to sobs very quickly, he heaves a sob into the phone, which immediately fills Phil with concern.
“Dan? What’s wrong!?” With concern spilling from his voice, Phil leans closer into the phone as if it would make him any closer to Dan, unfortunately realising he was further away than either of them could handle.
“I-Just-Miss-You,” Dan sobs with a pause between every word, completely oblivious to his own volume.
“Please drink some water Daniel. You are fucking drunk, you need to sober up and rest.”
Phil tries his best not to allow himself to laugh, however a small chuckle escapes his lips before he can hold it back. This version of Dan is one that only he knows, most of the time. This version of Dan is one of his favourites, it’s hard to contain the adoration in his voice as he tries to hold a stable conversation with his partner.
Phil can hear Dan loudly gulping water from the tap at the other end of the phone, so at least he knew he did what he was told.
“Phil?”
“Dan.”
“D’you know I love you?”
Phil smiles, he knows. Dan never lets him forget, not with the glisten in his eyes every time he looks at him. There is a small tug on Phil’s heart, knowing Dan is drunk to the point of sickening affection isn’t easy when he knows he can’t be there to hold him and return it.
“Yes, Dan. I love you, and you’re very drunk. So please go to bed.”
Dan lets out a small groan and rolls his eyes, displeased by Phil’s ask. He knows he should, but he can’t quite pull himself away from Phil’s voice. He’s lost track of just how long he and Phil have been talking, he can’t remember most of it through the drunken thoughts and slurring of words.
Dan is pulled out of his own head, and suddenly reminded he is on a tour bus as a loud bang comes from the other side of the bathroom door.
“Daniel!? It’s been 40 minutes! Get out!” One of the crew members squeals, wondering why Dan is taking so long.
“Okay. Just a minute” Dan stutters out, realising that whether he likes it or not, this phone call has to end sometime. He wipes his eyes, and does his best to disguise the very clear tears that were streaming down his face.
Running a hand through his dark, frizzy curls, he stumbles out of the bathroom, phone still in hand with a very confused Phil on the other end, he not so gracefully climbs back into his tour bunk and puts the phone back to his ear.
“Phil?”
“Oh there you are, finally get kicked out of the bathroom did you?”
Both of them let out a childlike giggle, there is some comfort in knowing even if they aren’t together, they’ll always be able to laugh with each other no matter the distance that separates them.
Dan is hit with a wave of tiredness, he lays his head down onto the soft pillow, keeping the phone firmly by his ear.
“I love you.” Dan’s voice is small and definitely quiet enough that nobody on the bus could’ve heard, but Phil can still hear him loud and clear. Phil wonders how Dan got into this state, but decides that’s a conversation for tomorrow. He allows Dan to remain quiet for a minute before responding;
“I love you too, Dan.” The smile radiates in Phil’s voice, but to Phil’s surprise there is no response. He waits a moment before repeating Dan’s name, only to be met with a small snore. Dan has fallen asleep, and Phil was still on the other end of the phone.
“Goodnight, Danny,” Phil whispers. Dan makes a small groan and Phil takes it as an acknowledgment. Phil doesn’t hang up, and instead climbs into their bed at home and allows himself to fall asleep too, as this is the closest they’ve been to falling asleep together since Dan left. He knows he’ll be back soon, but there is an ache in both of their chests that only wants the other. The pair are only disconnected when Dan’s phone runs out of battery, they both sleep through the night with the thought of each other replaying in their minds.
****
Dan did not remember the previous night's events, however Phil makes sure to tease him as soon as he can. Dan avoids the questions from the others on the bus the next morning regarding Dan’s 40 minute long bathroom break and the sobs that could’ve been heard a mile away, and nobody pushes when Dan responds with a lighthearted “Fuck off”. Dan sits down with a coffee and opens his phone’s camera roll, admiring the photo of Phil one more time with a rather large headache and looming hangover.