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Sam couldn’t help but replay the past half hour in his mind. The fiery blaze as monster Max’s flaming head lit up the dark city, the crackling of fire against his partner’s skull. The deep pained cries echoing through Max’s lungs as the Maimtron lodged into his heart. And the final wave of Max’s webbed green hand as he said goodbye. Of course, had Sam known it was going to be goodbye forever well…Then a flickering flash of light in the stars as he self-destructed. But it all sunk in that moment in Momma Bosco’s lab when they all realized there was no way of bringing his little buddy back.
The night was still dark, seemingly unending. Sam hadn’t even realized he walked all the way across the city until he was onlooking the dark waters of the New York harbour. He watched the headless Lady Liberty that reigned in the distance. They had been atop the statue not more than a week ago when they defeated that dumb puppet. That all seemed so far away now. Sam’s heart ached in his chest as he longed for a time like that again. The tears welled in his eyes, but they didn’t fall, as he thought about all the years with his partner. He already missed that loud mouthed psychotic hyperkinetic rabbity thing more than he could put into words.
Sam removed his hat. He had clung to this fedora for so long; it was the kind of vintage cap those detectives would wear in those old movies he and Max used to watch as kids. Despite Max’s general disregard for anything regarding clothes, for Sam his outfit gave him an air of professionalism and it showed people of the city that he took his cases seriously (regardless if that was or wasn’t accurate). More so this hat was who he wanted to be for the longest time, a distinguished detective, to him this old hat was his status as Freelance Police. And he didn’t want it anymore. There was no Freelance police without Max. Even when he tried to solve cases himself, like finding his partner’s brain, it wasn’t truly him. That Noir Sam was so much more violent, brooding, ill tempered, and unbridled by remorse with a single minded focus on avenging his Max. It didn’t matter how many people he hurt under the guise of his vigilante justice, he could never escape the pain. If Max was really gone this time, he didn’t want to become that version of himself again, he couldn’t keep chasing a ghost. No, the only way would be to give up police work. At least that was what he decided before hearing the familiar ping of the elevator doors.
“Sam.” Max choked out. “Sam you can let go of me now.”
Sam didn’t even realize he had been squeezing onto Max this whole time.
“Oh sorry little buddy.” Sam paused for the words.
This wasn’t the first time he’d lost Max. Far from it, he can still recall the smell of his burnt flesh on the moon’s surface. Not to mention the amount of times the two had died together. But this time it felt different, knowing that his Max really did die. Before him was Max, but this wasn’t his Max. Not exactly. But still he looked so much like his fluffy little buddy, with the same wide grin on his face, the same inky black eyes that gleamed with cheerful indifference, the same smell of slightly damp rabbit.
Him and Max never talked much about each other dying. For someone so verbose Sam found it ironic himself that he could never find the words to talk about his feelings.
“It’s just…” Sam started.
“It’s okay Sam.” Max said, as if knowing what he was going to say. “I didn’t mind, I was just not trying to die twice today.” He said, smoothing the fur around his neck.
Sam shook his head.
“What, too soon?” Max asked.
Sam punched his shoulder. “Knucklehead.”
The Freelance Police walked in comfortable silence towards their building. The warm rays of the sun rising in the horizon cast upon them, melting them in pink and purple hues. The sunrise lit up the intersection of Straight and Narrow and the sight of the city wasn’t quite as pretty.
“Geez our building looks even worse in your reality.” Max said.
“Well your rampage didn’t help much.”
“I wish I could have seen that. I bet I was crushing buildings like they were nothing!” Max exclaimed with gleeful ruthlessness.
“Yeah you wreaked immense carnage little buddy, and at great expense to the tax payers that live here.”
“Ehh those tax payers knew what they were signing up for. Between giant robots attacking the city, to aliens, and zombies you’d think they’d be used to a little destruction by now.”
“With us around they’d be fools not to be.” Sam remarked.
Max gaped at the hole in between Bosco’s and Stinky’s. “Hey Sam, why does the hole where Sybil’s shop used to be, smell like corndog?” He rubbed his hands together in the usual scheming way, “Mm corndog, we should get some, all this time travel has made me peckish.”
“No.” Sam stated bluntly. Max tilted his head. “I mean, I’ve had my fair share of corndogs today. Maybe something else Max.” Sam clarified.
Then Sam shook his head, cracking a smile, “This is where we corndog-ified the Desoto to feed it to your monstrous and oversized counterpart, in order to get into your kaiju-like body.”
“Ah I see.” Max responded, “In my world I froze our Desoto to make it into a car flavoured orange popsicle for you.”
“Yeah that sure would work on me.” Sam said. “Suppose you wouldn’t want to get ice cream right now?”
“I’ve had my fill. I need a break from seeing anything you’ve eaten recently.”
“That makes the two of us.” Sam started. “How about…”
“Meesta pizza?” They turned to each other saying in unison.
The restaurant was barren, while the building itself had been spared from the attack—no doubt in part by some adoration Max still harboured for it while in his monstrous form—the roads in front of it were crumbling. In the asphalt there was a distinct lagomorphic shaped footprint that crushed into the road. And through it all somehow Meesta Pizza’s was still open at whatever time it currently was. Sam and Max sat outside on the patio, the smell of overly greasy pizza pie and warm steam filled their senses.
“Oh no Sam I tell you it was spooky.” Max said, shoving a slice of pizza into his mouth.
“I find that hard to believe, being inside me couldn’t have possibly been scarier than in you.”
“Well you haven’t been inside your stomach.”
“Good point.”
“You also had a room of useless junk. Lots of dictionaries. Of course there was also that big shrine of me in there, creepy I tell you.”
“What?”
“Okay I’m joking, it was actually a shrine of Peepers.”
“Now you’re just making stuff up.”
“I did see lil John in there, he was roaming around. I miss that crock.”
“He’s an alligator Max.” He responded, “You can distinguish the two not only by their differing points of origin but by the shape of their snouts. You see, crocodilians have a V shaped snout, while the Alligator mississippiensis has a U shaped snout.”
“Hehe piensis, you’re funny when you talk dirty Sam.”
Sam grabbed another slice from the stack of damp pizza boxes. The sound of construction filled the city with the odd blare of horns and the typical grumblings of New Yorkers. Things were relatively back to normal, well as normal as their adventures ever were. As he watched his partner chew on the greasy paper plate, Sam realized it didn’t matter that it wasn’t his Max, he was so relieved to have him by his side again.
“It’s good to have you back little buddy.”
“Aw come on Sam don’t get all mushy on me.” Max said, prying his teeth from the plate, but his eyes softened. “It was so boring without you Sam. What’s the point of even taking the commissioners' calls if there’s no one to fight over it with?”
“I can’t imagine a more horrific world than one where you answer the commissioners' calls.”
“Plus it was a bummer not getting to have the wedding, I was already working on a list of weapons to put on the gift registry. So naturally I had to find a better timeline.”
“Wedding?” Sam asked. He suddenly notices the ring on Max’s finger.
“Holy mother of European vampires on a train car with our deceased grandparents cooking up schemes with a magical can of nuts! Max, are you engaged?”
“Don’t have this ring on my finger for nothing.” Max said, waving his hand in front of Sam.
“What? I mean to whom? When? Where? Max why—”
“And how!”
“You’re engaged! Who are you engaged to?” There was a tinge of anger in Sam’s voice. He couldn’t help it. How could his partner be engaged to someone and he hadn’t known about it.
“I’m engaged to you, you big oaf.”
“What?” Sam exclaimed.
“You’ve said that already. Sam, don’t you remember you—oh right right, alternate timelines. Well you found the ring when we went to infiltrate Momma Bosco’s lab when Skunkape’s henchmen were taking over the place. That’s when you asked me.”
Sam was flooded with flashbacks to his thoughts outside of Momma Bosco’s when he was imagining a married life with Max before deciding against it. It just didn’t seem that important at the time. They already lived together, worked as partners, were best friends, and practically as close to family as one could get short of shared DNA or legal bindings. Max was even his emergency contact at one point, though he quickly changed it as he feared that if they were in an emergency that Max would likely have caused it or would otherwise be heavily involved with him, so Sam changed it to Flint Paper.
“I proposed to you?” Sam reflected. “Huh, our realities diverged more than I anticipated. Who would have thought handing over a seemingly insignificant screw driver to our past selves would create such a wedge in the timeline.”
“Really Sam, did old me teach you nothing if not the feebleness of time?” Max said. “So, you didn’t propose in this timeline… Awkward.”
“No, but I thought about it.” Max’s ears perked up at that.
“Oh I see but you what, chickened out?”
“Shut up Max, it's not like that.”
“Then what is it like Sam?” Max asked. “Don't tell me you’re afraid of commitment now. Besides, it's not like we haven’t gotten married before.”
“That was a fun case.” Sam said wistfully before shaking his head bringing him back to reality. “But that’s different. When you say married you’re referring to the legally binding contract that recognizes us as a sanctioned union in our life long commitment to each other."
“Is there any other kind?” Max asked rhetorically.
He gazed upon his little buddy, perfectly intact. He never wanted to let him go again.
“Well gee little buddy, honestly I can’t think of a reason not to anymore.”
“You mean—“ Max started excitedly.
“Max there’s no one I’d want to spend the rest of my days with. And when I thought I lost you…” The image of driving the Desoto with Max’s brainless body filled his head, he could still recall how his blood boiled. “I don’t like the person I become without you little buddy.”
“Me neither Sam.” Max said, his ever large smile waning just a little to make Sam wonder how Max truly reacted when Sam was the one to lose his brain or when he lost him all together.
“So how about it? You wanna stick together, solving crime for the rest of time?” Sam asked. “Bringing the criminal underbelly of this city to justice just wouldn't be romantic without you Max.”
“You sweet talker you.” Max said. “Oh Samuel, I would like that very much! Even if you are proposing to me in front of a Meesta Pizza of all places.”
Sam reached his hand overtop of Max’s melon shaped head ruffling the fur between his ears.
“Now just think of all the cool and dangerous stuff we can ask for as wedding gifts.” Max chimed in, “I want a bazooka or a missile launcher!”
“I’m sure you can ask Superball for it now that he’s president.” Sam said. “Which reminds me, everyone still thinks you’re dead. We should tell that at some point.”
“No no Sam let it be a surprise, this way I can scare them when they least expect it!” His shark-like teeth smiled deviously wide. “Ah it’s good to be back.” Max sighed settling back into his flimsy metal chair.
“They gonna miss you in your old world?”
“Who cares, a universe without you there is not one I wanna live in. I mean it's worse than eating Stinky’s food!”
“Woah that bad?” Sam was a little taken aback by Max’s words. He knew the rascal liked him (even if the way he expressed that affection was usual through biting, insults, and generally putting him into danger) but he figured if it was between either of them, that Max would be the one more okay after losing their partner, “I just figured the way you talked about exploding me…”
“Don’t get me wrong Sam, that explosion was cool! But it doesn’t matter how epic the way you died was, it still hurt.” Max looked away, his voice oddly earnest.
Sam reached out, resting his hand on Max’s, feeling the warmth as they made contact. Then Max stacked his other hand over Sam’s, of course not to be outdone Sam stacked his on Max’s.
Max squinted his eyes, tackling Sam. His partner fought back wrestling the lagomorph as he climbed on top of him. Then Max paused for a moment eyeing the last pizza slice.
“Not on my watch little buddy.” Sam said before whacking him into the sky and securing the last slice. But before he could take a bite Max fell onto his shoulder charging mouth first into the slice.
“Mm delicious.” Max gloated as he munched down on the final slice.
Sam shook his head smiling at his ridiculous partner.
“Did I mention you crack me up Sam?”
“That’s my line, little buddy.”