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Tooru watched the street lamps flicker on from his bedroom window. The sky was a frigid blue, dark and fathomless, and the trees around Tooru’s house were bare. Fall was at the cusp of winter and any day Tooru expected the snow to fall, blanketing the earth with its endless calm.
Tooru had the urge to go for a walk.
“Lex,” he called out without turning from the window. The stars he loved so much blinked to life and greeted him like old friends.
The footsteps were so quiet that Tooru could barely hear them. Yet, he knew. He knew whenever he called her name she would always come. She would always be there.
“Yes, Oikawa-san?” Her voice was soothing, without a hitch or falter; emotionless yet oddly caring. She waited patiently for her orders.
Tooru turned and smiled at the angular face, designed so much to look like a human’s yet it was anything but. He could make out the vague shape of a nose and thin, blue lips but not much else. The eyes of the newest models were what the engineers and scientists really focused on it seemed. Lex’s eyes were a stormy blue, complete with a sclera and pupil. They even blinked at the appropriate intervals.
To the public, the earlier versions had looked too creepy. Too much like machines, they all complained. It’s the eyes! They never blink! The eyes are the windows to the soul! Make their eyes more human! Make them more alive!
Tooru had scoffed. These were hunks of metal and glass. If they weren’t even alive, how could they have souls?
He could see straight through the transparent exterior. He could see the wires, the cogs and screws holding this elaborate creation together. He could see everything, the entire machinery working in sync to keep this robot moving, functioning. But he saw no soul.
Hajime had wanted this machine as soon as they invented it. Tooru had vowed to get it for him.
“I’m going out, Lex,” Tooru said, “Please get my coat and boots for me.”
“This late in the evening, Oikawa-san?” Lex asked. When Tooru had bought her, he was surprised by her curiosity. But he soon realized, she wasn’t actually curious. It was her job to ask such questions. This was the purpose for which she, and all other robots, were created.
Take care of your owner. Make sure that whatever they want for themself is safe.
Tooru dismissed her question with a flick of his wrist. “Yes. I won’t be long.”
“As you wish,” she bowed and disappeared into Tooru’s closet.
Tooru marveled at the fluidity in her movements. How could something so mechanical be so graceful? He couldn’t deny the fact that he’d gotten quite attached to Lex these past few months. But it still baffled him when the wires in her back pulled and relaxed and the gears whirred silently. Her fingers touched but never felt. Her eyes looked but never saw. Her body slept but never dreamed. Her mouth formed the words but there were no thoughts. She was living yet lifeless. Tooru wondered, not for the first time, how it must feel.
“Which coat would you like to wear this evening, Oikawa-san?” She drove a wedge between Tooru’s thoughts, pulling him back to the present.
“The burgundy peacoat,” Tooru answered without missing a beat. It’s his favorite, after all.
“It brings out your eyes,” Hajime had said after presenting Tooru the new coat. A blush colored Hajime’s cheeks, and Tooru suddenly felt like they were seventeen and confessing their love for each other all over again.
Lex brought it to him like she brought anything: with the utmost care. Tooru extended his arms out and Lex slipped the coat over his shoulders with ease. Her fingers were regulated to the perfect temperature, so Tooru never had to worry about flinching when she touched his bare skin.
“And what boots will you wear, Oikawa-san?” She asked politely.
“The dark brown ankle boots.” Tooru said.
He finished buttoning up his coat and followed Lex downstairs. She was already by the shoe closet with the desired pair resting on her palms.
Tooru took them from her and slipped them on. “Thank you, Lex.”
“You are welcome, Oikawa-san. But, what about your dinner? What shall I prepare for you while you are gone?”
Tooru tapped his chin with his index finger in contemplation before he realized he was getting late. “I’ll let you know when I come back. See you later, Lex!”
He grabbed his keys and opened the door. The chilly wind felt like a slap to the face and his whole body shuddered. “Oh! Make sure to raise the temperature in the house a bit. I’ll be freezing when I come back,” Tooru called over his shoulder as an afterthought.
“As you wish, Oikawa-san.”
Tooru’s house was the only one for miles and miles around. It was nice really. Privacy was something Tooru greatly desired. He didn’t need anyone else. All he needed was Hajime.
As Tooru walked leisurely down the street, hands stuffed as far down his coat pockets as possible, he felt a familiar presence by his side. Tooru didn’t even have to look to know who it was. He shivered when a particularly strong gust of wind pricked at his face like thousands of tiny needles. A few stray leaves floated by and crunched under his feet.
“I know what you’re going to say,” Tooru began before deepening his voice for the imitation, “‘You should’ve worn a scarf and maybe even gloves since you get cold so easily. You never take care of yourself and I always end up listening to your complaints!’”
“You forgot to add ‘Trashykawa’ at the end.”
Tooru rolled his eyes, “Ha, ha very funny.”
“How’s Lex?”
“You’re going ask about a robot before asking about the love of your life? How mean!” Tooru pouted.
“Oh, I’ll get to volleyball next, don’t worry.”
“Rude! So, rude!” But Tooru still felt a smile tug at his lips when he heard the echo of Hajime’s laughter. He missed it so much, but the echo was all he heard now. “Lex is obedient, as usual. You would’ve loved her. She’s… something.”
“I’m sure.”
“You know, I’m surprised we’ve come this far with the technology, yet we still haven’t found extraterrestrial life,” Tooru argued.
“Oh, no…here we go again.”
“What?! I’m serious! Are scientists even looking? I mean there has to be others like us. It’s too big of a coincidence that in such a large universe only we exist. It’s impossible!” Tooru raised his head to the night sky. The moon was a sliver of pale silver tonight, and the stars were free to exude their own light. Tooru stopped walking, stopped thinking even, as he just stared at the sky in wonder. His memory kicked in as his finger traced the autumnal constellations.
“I miss looking at the stars with you,” Tooru said, voice barely above a whisper. But he knew Hajime had heard. Hajime always heard Tooru.
“Me too.”
Tooru giggled, “Remember when we went star gazing in the countryside and during the long drive you drank so much water that by the time we got there your bladder was bursting?”
“No! No, I definitely do not remember that!”
Tooru was full on laughing now, “But there was nowhere for you to go, so you literally peed in the first bush you saw!” Tooru remembered that night like it was just yesterday. Hajime’s face had remained red for the rest of their date, and Tooru hadn’t once stopped teasing him. That is, until the meteor shower had started. Tooru had watched the phenomenon with rapt attention, laying glued to Hajime’s side. Tooru had been sure the awe on Hajime’s face matched his own, yet it was also entirely different. The stars probably didn’t shine the same way in his eyes like they did in Hajime’s. The dark green irises had been glowing, and Tooru had suddenly been entranced by the beautiful sight next to him than the one above.
They had their first kiss under the falling stars.
A streak of white caught Tooru’s attention.
He gasped and squealed, “Hajime, look! A shooting star! Quick make a wish!” He closed his eyes and wished with all his heart.
Please give me back my Hajime.
Tooru opened his eyes. When did they become so wet? “What did you wish for, Hajime?”
“If I tell you, it won’t come true. You know that better than anyone, idiot.”
Tooru shrugged, “Well, it was worth a shot.”
After a moment, Tooru sighed, “I wished for you to come back to me.”
“You know that can’t happen, Tooru.”
“I know, but I’m always going to wish that.”
Tooru wiped away the treacherous tears that slipped down his face and continued walking.