Chapter Text
Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier
The name stained the skin around Aaron’s eye like a bruise, long and thin, looping dramatically above his brow and beneath his lower lashes. He’d had it since he was thirteen, which was usually when soulmarks tended to appear, and since then, his life had been...well, hell.
Many people, when they saw the tall, twisting letters, thought it dazzling and elegant. Aaron Burr, however, did not.
“You shouldn’t cover it up,” Theodosia mentioned one afternoon as she watched Aaron smearing the stolen makeup around his eye.
“And why not?”
“Because one, you’re using up all my makeup, and two, when has covering it up it ever worked before?”
“Well...maybe it’ll work this time.”
“Aaron.” Theodosia sighed, taking a small towel from the hook on the wall, “It won’t.”
“Maybe it will.” Aaron’s voice was tinted with frustration because, no it wasn’t working. The name simply showed through the makeup like a beacon, no matter how much he put on. “Dammit!”
“Aaron.” Theo rested a hand on Aaron’s shoulder, turning him to face her, “It’s not meant to be covered.”
Burr scowled as she began to wipe away the makeup around his eye.
“Don’t tell me you wouldn’t try to hide this...monstrosity if it was on your face! You’re lucky, yours is nice and small.”
“You shouldn’t call it a monstrosity,” Theodosia gasped slightly, “that’s awful! And your soulmate may be nothing like Eliza, so why should their mark be?”
“Because it would make my life easier.”
Theodosia hand paused and Aaron could see her shoulders slump. He shouldn’t have brought it up, and mentally kicked himself for not thinking. But before he could retract it, she was already speaking.
“Aaron, I know things haven’t been...easy for you with this. But you’re free now, you’re living your own life. Are you really going to let your past dictate how you respond to this?”
Even as the words reached his ears, memories of broken ribs and bruises littering his body rushed back to him. His Uncle with the cane, trying to camouflage the letters around his eye within black and blue contusions. His grandfather spewing hateful sermons as if his words alone would banish the male names marking his face.
They never did.
The damn thing wasn’t even in a place he could easily hide it! If it had been smaller, it wouldn’t have been as much of a problem, but this!? The infuriatingly long name spiralled around his eye like a scar, deterring any and all possible relationships Burr tried to have.
He hated it.
“Yes,” he said finally, “yes I am.”
Theodosia tutted, placing the towel on the countertop and fixing Aaron with a raised eyebrow.
“You’re going to meet them one day, Aaron, like it or not. And I’ll tell you right now, don’t fuck up your one chance at actually being happy.”
“I doubt this Marie-Joseph will make me happy-” he stopped short when he saw the glare on her face. “Fine, fine, I won’t fuck it up.”
“Good,” she smiled at him and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, “I’m off to have lunch with Betsey. Try not to wallow in self pity all day. Get out there.”
“Hamilton invited me for drinks tonight so that'll fill my monthly being social quota.”
“Good!” Theodosia brightened, “Now all you have to do is try and enjoy yourself.”
“I'll do my best.”
Theodosia smiled sadly as she looked at him. Aaron hated it when she looked at him like that.
“I just want you and to be happy. You know that, right?”
“I know, Theo.” but he sounded drained, “Go on, tell Ms. Schuyler I say hello.”
Aaron listened for the door to his apartment close as Theodosia left. The moment it did, he let out a long and tired sigh. He loved Theo, really he did, but...her view of, well, everything was very different in comparison to Aaron’s. Sure she tried to understand, but she could never really, and he didn’t fault her for that.
He stared at his reflection in the small bathroom mirror, and in turn, at the name circling his eye. The name he knew by heart, no matter how long it was and how many unnecessary middle names there were. The name he’d been so excited to know, and now could only glare at bitterly.
Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier
“I hate you.”
“I love you!”
Lafayette stared at the little name on his hip bone, running his thumb over it gently.
A. Burr
Not even a full name, and letters so small that he had almost missed them the first time he’d looked. But he didn’t mind, his heart still swelled at the very sight of it. His soulmate, his love, whose name was written in such an intimate place that Lafayette knew whoever they were must feel the same as he did.
At 13, when his father explained to him the importance of his mother’s name on his jaw, and in turn, his father’s name on his mother’s collarbone, he’d raced off to look for his own mark. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t slightly disappointed at the barely visible name hidden on his hip.
“Perhaps that is just what they are like, cher.” his mother had said, “People say that soulmarks are reflections of the person.”
So his Burr was...small and good at hiding? As the years went on, that’s certainly how it was seeming. Of course he’d searched for them, but came up empty each time. Lafayette was growing frustrated. This A. Burr had better be worth all the trouble.
“Maybe they’re hiding from you.” John Laurens suggested one afternoon over lunch. It was their last year of High School and Lafayette was pouting that his friend had found his soulmate, one Alexander Hamilton.
He was ecstatic for John, of course, but why couldn’t his Burr be as easy to find!?
“It would certainly seem that way.” Lafayette’s voice was bitter.
“No like, maybe they’re purposefully hiding from you. Like, they don’t want to meet you.”
Lafayette blinked, staring at his friend in confusion.
“But- they do not even know me.”
“I don’t know, man. Maybe they’re scared. You gonna finish those fries?”
Lafayette mused over this thought. His soulmate, his love, frightened. Of him? The thought almost made him laugh. When he found them, and he would, whoever they were, they would see, they would never have to fear him. But then again…
“Are you afraid, little Burr?” he asked in the silence of his room, his fingertips tapping unconsciously against the name on his hip. “Where are you right now?”
That night, Aaron Burr was standing on the doorstep of one Theodosia Bartow, suitcase in hand and tears pouring down his cheeks.
“So, any luck finding this elusive soulmate of yours?” Alexander asked one wet October evening while they all sat around a small table of their local pub.
“Not as of yet.” Lafayette responded, watching Hamilton out of the corner of his eye.
Years had gone by and the Frenchman was still having no luck in finding his love. However, the more he had gotten to know Alexander since he and John began to go out, the more suspicious he became.
It always seemed like Alexander knew more than he let on. Whenever Lafayette would mention his soul mark or complain about the mysterious A. Burr , he would break out into a grin or smile knowingly. When Laf first showed him the mark, he had barked out a laugh, quickly muffling it with his hands.
Of course Gil had pestered him about it, he was sure that Alexander knew who the person was.
“My lips are sealed, Laf. This is something you have to find out on your own.”
Which wasn’t fair. But at least he knew he was on the right track, that Hamilton knew this A. Burr. He was close.
“Oh shit, yes!” Alexander shouted out suddenly, breaking Lafayette from his train of thought. “Aaron! Over here!”
Gil looked towards where Hamilton was shouting, his eyes finding a short man only just closing the door of the bar. His heart shuddered suddenly when the man whipped off his hood, shaking the remaining rain from his umbrella.
He blamed it on too much beer.
He watched the man approach slowly, noticing a dark...something encircling his left eye. A bruise perhaps? Had Alexander invited another Laurens to join their group? When he came nearer, Lafayette saw that it wasn’t a bruise, but words, letters looping wildly around his eye. He almost snorted with laughter.
Of all the places to have a soulmark, one's face was the worst possible.
The man paused when he got to their table, staring around at the four men. Lafayette couldn’t quite see the letters of the soulmark, but something about them was incredibly familiar.
“Hamilton.” he said, and Gil’s heart skipped again, “You didn’t say there would be other-”
“People?” Alexander interrupted with a laugh, “These are my friends, Aaron, I didn’t think it was important.”
“ Hamilton. ” the man sounded tired, and annoyed, which wasn’t exactly abnormal when one was speaking to Alexander Hamilton.
“Come on, Aaron, take a seat.” he pulled out a chair and Aaron sighed, moving to take off his coat, “Guys, this is Aaron Burr-”
Lafayette froze.
Burr…
Burr?
Burr!?
His eyes shot to Alexander, who was looking at him out of the corner of his eye with a smug grin on his face. Lafayette couldn’t breath.
“Aaron, this is John Laurens and Hercules Mulligan.”
“Charmed.”
“And this-”
Alexander paused, turning to look at Lafayette who had suddenly shot out of his chair. Aaron also paused, standing by his own chair, coat hanging over the side. His eyes were wide, startled by the sudden movement.
Aaron took in the man who stood staring at him from the other side of the table. He was tall, dressed in a rich, purple shirt and low cut jeans. There was something just peeking out from the fabric, like a smudge on his hip bone, and Aaron squinted at it slightly. Why was it so familiar? His eyes snapped up when the man’s fingers tapped against the smudge unconsciously.
He started to stalk around the table, like a panther. All the while, his eyes never left Aaron’s. Their friends only watched with interest and confusion, Hamilton chuckling to himself as Burr attempted to back away.
“Alexander…?” Aaron called out, not taking his eyes off the man approaching him.
“Oh, I forgot.” he didn’t forget, “Aaron, this is Gilbert. Gilbert du Motier. But we just call him Lafayette.”
~fffffffuck~
Aaron froze. He knew that name, well, he knew that part of the name. It was branded on the side of his face, how could he not!?
And Lafayette was closing in, standing almost toe to toe with him. His eyes snapped to Hamilton, who was grinning beside his friends, watching the scene before him with glee.
Burr was going to kill him.
The feeling of a warm hand on his face startled him, and Aaron’s eyes moved slowly back up to Lafayette, who was now standing so close to him that he could feel the man’s breath on his face. Lafayette ran his thumb under Aaron’s eye, over the looped writing of his name, holding the smaller man’s face still as he stared.
This…was it. This was his soulmate, his Burr, Aaron Burr! Lafayette had at least been right about one thing. He was small, only just reaching his chin. But he was beautiful, more so than Lafayette could have imagined. His mother had been right. There was no doubt that this man belonged to the short, little name hiding on his hip.
“Burr.”
Aaron’s breath caught in his throat at the sound of the man’s voice; deep, and affectionate, which was what frightened him the most. This man was undoubtedly his soulmate, not simply because Hamilton had said it, but he could feel it, deep in his chest, he knew. He felt...whole as he stood with him.
And it was worse than he could have imagined. The name around his eye obviously belonged to this man, he looked just like it. Gaudy, was the first word to go through Aaron’s head. His hand stroked Aaron’s cheek gently, and Aaron clenched his teeth.
Through the soft touches, Aaron tried to remember that he didn’t want this. That this was the man whose name had put him through so much hell. He...he couldn’t just walk into Aaron’s life and expect Aaron to love him! After everything that had happened!? If he thought that he could just waltz up to Aaron and sweep him off his feet, he was dead wrong.
It just wasn’t fair.
“Do you know how long...I have been searching for you?” Lafayette’s words came out as breathless, his other hand coming up to cup Aaron’s other cheek.
He held the man’s face in his hands, drinking in his soulmate’s expression and - oh, oh he wasn’t looking particularly happy.
“Little Burr?” he asked, and blinked when Aaron recoiled from him, “Cher, what is-”
“Excuse me.” Burr interrupted, his voice shaking slightly, “I really must be on my way. Hamilton.”
Alexander stood up, confused as to what was going on. Aaron tilted his head towards the man only slightly, but the look he gave him was livid and dangerous.
“We will have words later.”
He ripped his coat from the chair, attempting to tear passed Lafayette, but the taller man grabbed hold of his arm, spinning him back around.
“Kindly,” Burr nearly shrieked, “take your hands off me, sir.”
“Aaron!” Alexander shouted, appalled.
“Cher,” Lafayette’s voice was soft and his hand loosened on Aaron’s arm, “I do not understand.”
Burr hesitated. He never hesitated, but here he was, having second thoughts, staring deep into the eyes of this stranger, his soulmate. His hand was warm on Aaron’s arm, almost comforting. And the hurt that lay hidden behind those eyes, Aaron’s heart clenched viciously. He didn’t want to hurt this man.
But at the same time…
“Please let go.”
And Lafayette did, only being able to watch as the small man flew from his grasp and out the door of the bar onto the rainy streets. His heart thudded painfully in his chest, feeling as if it had been torn apart. This wasn’t how it was supposed to have gone. What...what happened.
“Fuck, AARON!” Alexander shouted beside him, “Laf, I’m sorry, really. I mean, shit, I didn’t think this would happen. God, I’m so sorry. I should have left it alone.”
“It is...alright.” It wasn’t alright, “He...does not want me...I-”
“Bullshit!”
Alex and Lafayette turned to see Mulligan grinning at them over his third beer.
“That’s your boy, Laf, and you’re just gonna let him walk out? After you waited this long for him!?”
“Yeah, since when have you been a quitter, Laf?” Laurens joined in, a smirk growing on his face.
“I am not quitting ,” Gil sniffed haughtily. He knew what they were doing and frankly...it was working. “I just...do not know where he lives.”
Hamilton cleared his throat loudly, and all eyes turned to him. He had a wide grin on his face.
“I do.”