Work Text:
You woke up much earlier than you would’ve liked to tonight. Before the sun, the worms, and somehow even before the early bird in your bed. Darkness still envelops the room, a dim beam of moonlight working extra hard to keep it from being pitch black.
You've had your fair share of nights exactly like this one. Toss and turn for hours, and when you finally fall asleep? Nightmares.
Nightmares, nightmares, nightmares. You feel like a child, not being able to just go back to bed. No, you have to lay there, staring at the ceiling, wondering why now?
At least now, you have Joseph right next you. You roll over and fondly study his sleeping form, the steady rise and fall of his chest, his feathers gently rustling. You've learned his snores come out as quiet coos. He sleeps like he's ready to be laid to rest, something you love teasing him about.
Unfortunately, tonight is going a little different. You've just about run out of sheep to count, and still you're nowhere near the land of slumber. Dark thoughts thunder vividly and loudly in your head, impossible to ignore. There's a jittery feeling that still lingers in your chest and hand, unhelpfully brought about by the bad dream that put you in this situation in the first place.
You take another deep breath. In, and out. When that (unsurprisingly) doesn't do anything, you sigh. It comes out embarrassingly shaky.
Joseph wakes easily, so you take extra caution as you slowly, carefully remove yourself from bed.
A shiver runs down your spine, and you immediately miss the warmth of your partner and blankets. The winter months aren't as harsh in Clemency compared to where you grew up, but it still gets damn cold. Your fur can only do so much to keep you warm.
You quietly shuffle over to where you and Joseph hung up your coats. You pluck his off and pull it on. It's a bit big on you, and the empty sleeve awkwardly dangles at your side. You slip your boots on and gently open the door. Cold winds bite at your nose and ears, making you wish you had grabbed your hat.
You lean on the porch's railings, taking in the scenery. The first flakes of winter already lay on the ground like powdered sugar. More delicately dance through the air, finishing up their routines as they meet the ground.
There's a quiet serenity throughout Clemency, one that nearly beats out the raging storm inside your head. If you focus hard enough, you can start to feel at peace, too.
Maybe you should sleep out here!
You won't, of course. You aren't too keen on losing any more limbs.
As if the air was listening, an updraft gets sent right up the half-empty sleeve of your borrowed coat. You shiver, partly due to the cold, and partly because it's damn uncomfortable. You wonder if you should've tied the sleeve up.
You shouldn't, though. Even if Joseph is always saying you don't need to ask him to borrow things, it's still not your coat.
Another cold breeze pinches at your scars, and another coating of snow sprinkles across the ground. It really does remind you of home.
The nice parts, at least. One of these days, you really do have to make donuts for Joseph. You've been meaning to bust out that old recipe. It's been too long since you've had time to properly bake anything. It'll take a while, though, so you'll have to clear out at least a few hours.
Not much gets passed Joseph, either, so you suppose he'll just have to help instead of surprising him.
You remember helping your mother back when you were a kid. She'd let you play with the dough and sprinkle on sugar at the end. You remember how the hot oil would sizzle and jump up every time another ball of dough would be added.
Huh. You haven't been home in years…
You wonder how your folks reacted when they realized you'd run away. Were they happy? Sad?
…No use in going down that trail of thinking. You sigh, hot breath forming small clouds.
Besides, you've found a place you'd much rather stay.
A few quiet minutes pass. Your racing heart slows to an even pace, the jittery feeling in your bones subsides, replaced only by the occassional shiver from the cold. The moon is still high in the sky, slightly obscured by clouds. It's not full yet, but it should be in the next couple days.
There's a light shuffling of feet behind you, muffled slightly by the walls of your home. It stops, starts, stops, and starts again as the door opens and Joseph steps out, a long blanket over his shoulders dragging along the floor.
"There you are…" he sleepily says, voice a bit husky from just waking up.
"Mornin'," you reply.
Joseph chuckles. "Bit late for that," He throws part of the blanket over you as he pulls you into a side hug. "And ah was talkin' to my coat."
"Sorry."
"Aw, don't you worry," he yawns.
A few quiet minutes pass, both of you watching the snow fall. You don't think much of it will stick, but it makes for a pretty scene for right now.
"Pretty, ain't it?" Joseph says. "Chilly, though."
You agree. "Reminds me of home."
Joseph raises an inquisitive eyebrow. "Yer from up north?"
"Yeah, used to get a lotta snow around this time," you say. "How about you?"
"Born and raised in the south," he exaggerates his accent a bit for effect. You chuckle. "Haven't seen snow in quite some time."
Honestly, it's been a while for you, too. Clemency must be a bit further north than you thought, or maybe it's just particularly cold this year.
You lean on the railing again, head propped up by your arm. You sigh as you stare off into the quiet town again. Normally, people's voices echo throughout the town, horses carrying supplies clip-clopping down the roads, or Joseph chatting with someone on the porch. Right now, it feels like you and Joseph are the only people awake for miles and miles.
It's a lonely thought. You've grown used to all the noise. Having people who see you, rather than just look at you. It really is nothing like your old home…
"Somethin' on yer mind?" Joseph's voice snaps you out of your thoughts. You glance over at him and find he's attentively watching you. He always could tell when something was weighing on you.
You sigh again, watching the cloud of breath dissipate into the air. "What do you think your folks are doing now?"
He seems caught off guard by your question. That's fair.
"Sorry, it's just…" you absentmindedly itch one of your scars. "That's what kept me up tonight."
"Ah see," Joseph awkwardly says, tapping his finger against his arm. "Do you, uh, miss 'em?"
You take a moment to think about it. "Not really."
"Oh." There's a pensive look on Joseph's face. He's been meaning to write home, but with how long it's been, he's afraid it'll be ignored or thrown out.
"I'm sure yours would be happy to hear from you," you say, nudging his side.
"Thanks, Robin," a small smile makes its way onto Joseph's face. "Suppose I should try…"
You nod.
The two of you fall into a comfortable silence again. You snuggle into Joseph's side again. He holds you closer in a warm side hug.
That reminds you of something else…
"I told you my ma used to make donuts, yeah?"
"Yeah, Ah remember that."
"She used to let me sprinkle sugar on at the end," you say, gesturing in front of you. "Looked like this."
Joseph smiles. "Aww, that's cute!"
"Made a real mess one time," you chuckle, remembering how the table was coated in sugar. Your mom was not happy with you. "We should make them sometime."
"We? Thought this was gonna be a surprise?" Joseph playfully says.
"Might need two arms for it," you joke.
He snickers. "I ain't ever made donuts before…"
"First time for everything."
"I'll drink to that," Joseph says, then suddenly sneezes. You feel him shiver, then he looks over at you.
"Damn, it's cold," Joseph sniffles. "I'm draggin' you back inside 'fore one of us gets sick."
You laugh and let him finally pull you back inside, though you think he'll catch a cold before you ever will.