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Hizashi was tired.
Most days, he seemed to run on a endless supply of energy, full of flair and loud gestures- his brilliant smile and booming voice never losing steam, even through late nights of hero work or being a radio host, or even grading papers.
But today, he was very tired, and as well as he was able to keep it from showing, Shouta could tell.
On days when Hizashi hosted his radio show, he usually left for the station straight from UA, without taking a quick break to head back to the small apartment he shared with Shouta. In this absence of seeing each other, they made a routine to send each other a few quick text messages to check in on each other. Sometimes Hizashi would joke lightly about how they text each other more now as ‘old men’ than they did as teens and young adults, and Shouta would reply with a smirk and tell Hizashi that he knows he loves the inordinate amount of cat snaps he sends him any time he goes out for a walk or to the cat cafe when Hizashi is busy. (Hizashi has every cat snap Shouta has ever sent him saved onto his phone.)
So when Hizashi gets to the radio station, he sends a quick message to Shouta that he has made it there safely:
Hey, made it to the station. See you later. I know you’ll probably be listening <3 [4:31 PM]
It wasn’t long after until his phone chimed, notifying him of a reply:
good. hope yr feeling ok. is everything alright? u seem quiet today [4:34 PM]
Well...yeah, I’m not feeling my usual best today. I feel really tired. But I’ll be ok <3 [4:38 PM]
do u still feel ok doing yr show? im sure theyd understand if u needed to take a sick day or smthng [4:40 PM]
I can’t leave my precious listeners hanging! :0 [4:41 PM]
ok...but if it gets worse pls let me know...if theres anything i can do later let me know [4:43 PM]
Thanks babe <3 I’ll see you soon, we can talk more later if that’s okay? [4:44 PM]
love u (xoxo) [4:45 PM]
Love you too <3 [4:46 PM]
Shouta normally didn’t check his phone so frequently, but knowing that Hizashi wasn’t feeling his optimal was worrying him slightly, and instead of putting his phone on his bedside to charge, he kept it in his pocket in case he felt any buzz of notifications. He put Hizashi’s radio show on as he graded some papers and tidied up the apartment a bit.
About fifteen minutes after Hizashi’s show finished airing, Shouta felt the rumble of his phone in his pocket, and pulled it out, quickly swiping the screen to read Hizashi’s text.
Hey Shouta. It’s been a rough day, moreso than I was trying to let show. It was especially tough to keep my radio personality up and running while the show was airing, and now I feel pretty drained. I didn’t want you to worry, and I still don’t want you to worry, but I might not be my usual self when I get home. I’m sorry. I’ll be there soon <3 [6:50 PM]
its ok, u dont have to apologize! i can make u dinner i know im not the best cook but i can try [6:52 PM]
Aw, I was just planning to make some quick udon, it’s no trouble :0 [6:53 PM]
im making u udon [6:53 PM]
Alright, thanks <3 You’re the best [6:55 PM]
When Shouta heard the heavy heels of Hizashi’s boots and the jingle of his keys outside the door he opened it for him and greeted him with a soft smile, trying not to fret too much over how subdued Hizashi looked now that he didn’t feel like he had to mask his melancholy. He had swapped out his sunglasses for his regular lenses, and his hair was starting to fall out of place without the aid of his headphones to hold it back. What made Shouta’s chest hurt the most, though, were Hizashi’s eyes- half-lidded and lowered, with most of their usual vibrancy dialed out of them.
“Welcome home.”
“Hi, love.”
Shouta looked at him concernedly for a moment, then tentatively brought up his arms, stretching them up and out towards Hizashi in a silent offering, of which Hizashi quickly accepted.
“I have some pork buns steaming, and everything is cut up and ready for udon- I just have to get the water boiling.” Shouta mumbled as best he could through the leather of Hizashi’s jacket, angling his head carefully away from the directional system around Hizashi’s neck.
Hizashi murmured something affirmative but wordless into Shouta’s hair, and hugged him tighter.
“Is it a fatigue or pain thing, or a self thing?”
Hizashi stilled briefly before letting more of his body go slack against Shouta. “Kind of all three, but...mostly the last one.”
Shouta rubbed a few small circles into his back before pulling away slightly. “Why don’t you go get changed- take a shower if you want, then we can eat.” He moved back in to plant a quick peck on Hizashi’s cheek and reached behind his neck to find the release latch for his neckpiece. “Let’s get this off.”
“Please.” He held the system in place while Shouta undid the latch with a neat mechanical click , shrugging himself out of it once the back was open and groaning in relief as he rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck.
“Have you considered trying a design that’s more ergonomic?”
“I mean, it’s still a work in progress but it’s definitely way better than the prototypes.”
Shouta moved his hand to Hizashi’s shoulder, kneading gently. “If you’re sore I can give you a neck rub later.”
Hizashi’s eyes lit up slightly at this as he smiled and nodded, making Shouta’s shoulders sag in happy relief.
Shouta finished making dinner as Hizashi took a shower, emerging from the bedroom just as Shouta was placing two bowls of soup and a plate of steam buns on the table. He pulled up a chair and waited for Shouta to come back with two juice boxes of honey lime tea.
“This looks really good, Shouta. See? You can cook.”
“All I did was cut up vegetables and boil some water. And that’s only because you showed me how.”
Hizashi knocked his knee into Shouta’s affectionately.
They ate in relative silence for a few minutes, save for the occasional quiet slurp of noodles. Hizashi still seemed to have a healthy appetite, which relieved Shouta even further. It seemed a shower and some food was already putting some energy back into him, but that didn’t stop Shouta’s plans to comfort Hizashi as much as he could tonight.
And apparently, some of the comfort Hizashi needed tonight was wearing some of his partner’s clothes.
Hizashi had changed into a pair of Shouta’s sweatpants and one of Shouta’s worn, oversized long-sleeved shirts. The pair of fuzzy, polka-dot print socks on his feet, though, were Hizashi’s own. Most days he didn’t feel the need to put anything back on over his chest once he took his binder off for good for the day, feeling comfortable with his body around Shouta, but tonight Shouta noticed he’d put a clean sport bra on after his shower, its neon green and black striped print peeking out from the loose neckline of his borrowed shirt.
“Hizashi, how are you feeling?”
He looked up in surprise and tucked a stray bit of hair behind his ear that had fallen out of the messy bun he put his hair up into to prevent it from falling into his soup. He wiped his mouth with a napkin and swallowed the rest of the tofu slice that was in his mouth before replying. “‘m feeling better. This is really tasty, thank you for cooking.”
“Is there anything you want to talk about?”
Hizashi bit one of the ends of his chopsticks nervously and drew his feet up into his lap. “Shouta, do you think I’m...I dunno, fake? Or something.”
“Hizashi-”
“Because I know you said that Recovery Girl was able to help a lot with your surgery, and Nemuri’s too, and I know it’s always an option but I just-”
“Hizashi, it’s okay.”
“I’m uncertain, and a little scared.” Shouta reached out and took his hand, a signal of reassurance.
“Hey, Hizashi, you don’t have to make this decision now. You don’t ever have to make this decision if you don’t feel up to it. I made the decision I did because it had been very clear to me for a while, but it’s not that clear for everyone. Whatever you decide doesn’t invalidate you, or how you feel in any way, okay?”
Hizashi squeezed his hand and sighed. “I thought about getting rid of a lot of my clothes today.”
“Don’t do that.”
Hizashi mumbled something into his unoccupied hand, which he was currently resting his chin on.
“You can wear whatever you want and again, that doesn’t invalidate your identity in any way. Clothes are clothes. And believe me, you look fucking incredible in anything you wear.” He could see Hizashi’s ears flush noticably. “Also, if you got rid of your clothes, I wouldn’t be able to borrow your skirts anymore.”
Hizashi’s blush had crept up to his cheeks and he grinned, turning to face Shouta directly. “You’ve always been good at talking me out of things I would regret later on.” He pulled up Shouta’s hand that was still in his and kissed his knuckles gently.
“Are you done eating? I believe I still owe you a neck rub.”
-----------------------
They had cleaned up from dinner and had made their way into their shared bed, where Shouta was currently massaging Hizashi’s neck and shoulders, attempting to ease out some of the soreness that came from wearing his hero gear.
“Does that help?”
“Oh my god, yes.” Hizashi was now completely relaxed, almost boneless under Shouta’s touch. “I’m a lucky guy, huh?”
Shouta ran his fingers lightly through Hizashi’s hair, freeing it from its former bun before weaving it into a loose braid. “Yes.” He kissed the back of Hizashi’s neck lightly, on a bit of now-vacant skin that had been uncovered from gathering his hair into a braid. “We’re both lucky guys.” Hizashi could feel him smile into his neck.
“Aizawa Shouta, I fucking love you, and I want you to know just how fucking important you are to me, okay?” he paused. “It’s a lot.”
“Yamada Hizashi, I fucking love you too.” Shouta’s tone was unnecessarily serious and Hizashi giggled, though they both knew that the other was being wholly honest with what they had just said.
Shouta spooned Hizashi closely, resting his chin on the crook of Hizashi’s shoulder, his stubble tickling the soft skin there. “Hey...it’s- it’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes. I know, coming from me, one of the most stubborn men on the planet? What a concept.” Hizashi giggled again and Shouta grinned at his reaction. “But know, your confidence and vibrancy are really admirable and inspiring, but for the times when you might have to let your guard down a bit, it’s okay. I can be there for you, if you want.”
“We’ve always been there for each other, and I’d like to continue that trend.” Hizashi reached his arm back and Shouta could tell exactly what he wanted, fulfilling his wish by instantly linking their hands together.
They laid with each other for silence in a while, not drifting off to sleep quite yet but staying grounded; staying close to the comfort each other provided. They both started thinking about the things they’d done for each other- no matter how big or small- and of how much care or happiness it had brought to them.
The first apartment they moved into together was not pet friendly, much to Aizawa’s (well-hidden) dismay. Hizashi took Shouta to the nearby cat cafe as often as he desired, and didn’t mind when he occasionally put food out for strays. After one particularly rough day Shouta came home to about five different stuffed animal cats on his bed, along with a note that read “ it looks like one of your strays had a litter! ” in Hizashi’s loose handwriting. Shouta kept them, even after they were able to move into an apartment that allowed pets once their lease ended.
Hizashi had also been the one to accompany Shouta to all of the stressful trips to the vet when their adult tortoiseshell, Cleo, had developed some health problems. And when the time came when they returned to their apartment with the cat carrier empty, Shouta had immediately set off to start gathering up all of Cleo’s toys and bowls and medicine. Hizashi had stopped him and told him it was okay to stop and grieve- he didn’t have to do this all right now- and Shouta said that he couldn’t stop, because then he would start thinking too much and-
-and he stopped, and held Hizashi for a long time, until he let himself be led onto the couch, with his head on Hizashi’s lap and a thick blanket over him, and Hizashi gently rubbed his shoulders as he cried quietly.
Shouta had been Hizashi’s hero in more ways than one, from being the brave one to trap any bugs they found in their apartment and freeing them outside, to helping give Hizashi the confidence to start growing his hair out and the reassurance that no matter how he styled his hair, or how he dressed, or how his body was or how he presented himself that he’d always be attracted to and proud of his very handsome, very gorgeous boyfriend.
They’d taken each other on regular dates, from going out to breakfast or dinner, or to record shows and stores or aquariums and museums and gardens, sometimes travelling to areas they wouldn’t normally have any need to go to, just to look at interesting architecture or decorations. But date nights didn’t always mean they had to go out- most nights they’d spend watching rented DVDs or listening to music, cuddled up in bed or on the couch with one’s head on the other’s shoulder or lap. Some nights they’d spend playing board and tabletop games from Hizashi’s collection, whether it’d be just the two of them, or occasionally inviting Nemuri or Ms. Joke or Thirteen or Toshinori or Blood King over to play with them.
Hizashi has always been adamant in making sure Shouta eats well, thoroughly enjoying cooking for him but also persuading him to cook with him side-by-side and go to the grocery store together, picking out ingredients and fresh produce for dinners. Making sure Shouta ate well was a huge part of his recovery from USJ.
They’ve also given each other unending support and care as they transition together.
Shouta remembers his first year as a student at UA- he had been dreading the times when he’d have to change into his sport uniform for field activities. He managed to keep himself inconspicuous by wearing a wide tank top over his binder, whereas Hizashi would change freely, leaving jeering students speechless by spouting “ what, haven’t you ever seen a guy’s tits before?? ” and grinning widely in return. It was that kind of unflappable confidence that had Shouta awestruck, and as soon as the two made eye contact with each other across the locker room, a bond had started to form between them, as they knew that the other was just like him.
In the midst of this Shouta ended up dozing off for a few minutes, stirring back into consciousness as he felt Hizashi shift beside him.
“Hey, Shouta, I’m feeling a lot better.” his voice was soft and sincere. “Thank you, love.”
Shouta smiled. “I’m glad.”
“I’m still at a point that I’m trying not to think too hard about myself right now, though.”
“Would you like to talk about something else?”
Hizashi hummed in thought for a moment. “I’d like to hear you talk about you.”
“What?” Shouta asked, feeling his cheeks flush a little from being caught off guard, unprepared to be asked to talk about himself. He usually preferred not to have all of the attention on himself, especially when this was supposed to be a time to comfort Hizashi- Shouta didn’t want to make this all about himself. But if that’s what Hizashi was asking for to feel better, Shouta would do his best to fulfil that. “But I’m really boring, and besides, you know everything about me at this point.”
“You’re not boring.”
“I have three interests, and they are: cats, sleeping, and you.”
“You also care about your students very, very much.”
Shouta felt his face heat up again, and he pressed it into the hollow between Hizashi’s shoulderblades, wrapping his arms tighter around Hizashi’s waist, fingers still entwined in held hands. He mumbled quietly into the fabric of Hizashi’s (well, technically his) shirt. “I heard a song on the radio that I liked today.”
“Oh yeah? Was it from my show?”
“No- I’m sorry, but I can’t stand commercials, I have to flip to other stations when those come on.”
"It’s okay babe, you’re still my dearest, most devoted listener.”
“Here, I’m pretty sure it’s online, I can show you if you want.”
“Yes, please!”
Shouta turned away from Hizashi to grab his phone that was charging on the nightstand, and when he turned back over Hizashi had rolled over to face him, the gentle light from the unlocked phone screen illuminating a sleepy smile.
Shouta typed the song name into the server’s search bar as Hizashi snuggled close to him, resting his chin on Shouta’s right bicep. The search had taken them to a streaming site, where the song had been uploaded by the group’s profile. The whole album was available for purchase in multiple download formats. The first few notes of the song began playing after Shouta tapped the track title, only to be interrupted by a message of “connection error; please retry”. He refreshed the page and tried to play the song again, but to no avail.
Hizashi squeezed his hand lightly. “I’ll look it up on the computer tomorrow, there’s usually a better connection, and I can listen to it with my nice speakers.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be! From the first few seconds I heard, it sounded really cute.”
Shouta huffed and plugged the phone back in on the nightstand. He slowly rolled back over, hesitated for a brief second, and then carefully wrapped his arms around Hizashi, pulling him in close and burying his face into his his chest just below the collarbone. He was quiet for a few seconds, and then-
"Through mostly vacant streets, a baker from the outskirts of this town
Earned his living peddling sweets from the ragged cart he dragged around
The clever fox crept close behind; kept an ever-watchful eye
For a chance to steal a ginger spice cake or a boysenberry pie"
It had taken a while for Shouta to become comfortable with his speaking voice, but singing was a whole other story. He never sang, not even to himself, so when Hizashi felt the soft rumble of Shouta’s voice against his chest his heart swelled, knowing that he was the only one who would ever be allowed to witness this, because Shouta trusted him that much .
Shouta’s voice was quiet, almost more spoken verse than melody, but a subtle tune was there, vibrating with a slight hint of nervousness-
"Looking down was the hungry crow: ‘When the time is right I’ll strike-
And condescend to the earth below and take whichever treat I’d like’
The moment the baker turned around to shoo the fox off from his cart
The crow swooped down to snatch a shortbread cookie and a German chocolate tart"
After about three minutes, Shouta had finished reciting the lyrics, and Hizashi had taken to displaying his affection by kissing the top of his head, rubbing small circles across his back and running one hand through Shouta’s now-dry hair, which was still fluffy and soft from a fresh shampoo and combing.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“You’d probably be able to get out more.”
“Shush.” He kissed the top of Shouta’s head again. “Would you be offended if I said I’m ready for bed?”
“We’re already in bed.”
“You know what I mean, silly.”
“I’m always ready for bed.”
Hizashi reached to his bedside to turn off the lamp, and the two were asleep soon after, knowing tomorrow would be a better day as long as they had each other.