Work Text:
Something horrible has come to 007n7’s attention. Something that needs to be addressed.
He is in love.
A horrible thing really. Emotional attachments would drive him away from his goal. Alone, he didn’t think he would find anyone who’d be suited for his greatness. People were too stupid for his liking. The problem with being smart is you have to dumb yourself down to win any argument if the person is brave enough to fight back. Or you could just threaten them with guns. That also worked.
Then there was Noli.
Noli was everything 007n7 despised. They were too much of everything. They were too bright, but their outfits weren’t totally hideous – 007n7 could reluctantly assent to that opinion as it matched their lifestyle. They were too affectionate, practically lunging at the idea of getting up in his face – It was fine if business relations shared a small amount of affection (though the definition of small is being stretched to its limits here), right? Always trying to get up in his space and kiss him – which he could really use right now. They always managed to get him at least a little under control when they cuddled. Perhaps he should try and invite them arou-
He slammed his head down into his hands as his elbows dug into the hard desk, letting out a small groan of annoyance. This is what love felt, didn't it? Always worried, always wanting to be together, always caring. It was horrible. He wanted more.
He dragged a finger across his organized drawers, and opened one especially reserved through all the letters Noli had delivered to him. All hand written and meticulously decorated, with what 007n7 could only hope was a special love reserved for him. Ew. Where did that thought come from?
In the beginning, the introductions were simple and indifferent:
"To the general of the c00lkidd army,"
"To 007n7,"
"To whom this may address,"
But overtime, it changed:
”To my lovely Seven,"
"Dearest 007n7,"
"Dear the one I know who will keep this, :)"
They became more personalized. Some weren't even for anything particularly important for their very formal relationship. One detailing their day. One wishing him well after they heard of a large loss in the war. One with a bundle of jewellery. 007n7 didn't even wear jewellery, but he started hiding a small necklace underneath his large collared shirts.
007n7 was confident that if Noli had figured out modern technology and started messaging him, they'd be sending him photos and texts every other second. He wouldn't mind that. Maybe not all the time though. He didn't need to know about a cool bird that flew past them while in the middle of a speech.
It was sweet. He hadn't even noticed someone else was in the room until he heard a loud cough.
"Agh! Yes! What?! What do you want?!" he verbally bashed at the soldier who'd come so suddenly.
"Sir, we need you to revise this," the soldier handed a paper into his hands.
"Yeah yeah, I'll look at it. Scram! I'm busy."
"Your face is red, are you ill?" What. Oh hell no.
"SCRAM!" he exclaimed, with a small slam of a fist against the desk.
"SIR YES SIR! SORRY SIR!" the soldier ran out, not wanting to possibly be punished for winding his emotions up.
007n7 grumbled as he saw the soldier run out with cartoony haste and panic.
He added the document the soldier gave him to a pile and started writing his own letter for Noli instead.
"To Noli,
It has come to my attention that there's something between us I think needs to be talked about.
I would like to see you as soon as possible.
My doors are open for you specifically. You always end up finding your way here anyways.
Thanks
-007n7.”
Why did it feel harder this time? He debated each word 400 times over. He didn't hand write things often, but he couldn't find it in himself right now to deal with his printer that was broken 6/10 times. He found an envelope, sealed it, and used his c00lgui to send it over. Sure, maybe he could have just teleported himself to say it face to face, but unregistered hacking panel usage would only put the admins further on his tail. His army was already barely falling into not trespassing the laws of war in Robloxia. Small items would go practically undetected from the Admins.
===
"Soooo, what would you like to ask dear-old-me?" Noli stole his chair, holding a glass of wine dramatically in their palm.
He stood only a metre away, tapping his foot restlessly. He thought of how to frame it. Perhaps a blunt response would be best. That's how things usually worked in his life. Frilly words and vagueness got nobody anywhere.
"I think I'm in love with you."
"You're telling me this now?" they moved back in the chair, stunned.
"Yes, I am. Got a problem?" He secretly hoped they didn't. Maybe he could twirl things around in his favour and turn this romantic rather than blunt and awkward.
"No! No!" Noli let out a small breathless laugh, "I thought we were already dating, dear."
What.
"What?!"
"You didn't think we were?"
"How the hell would I think we were dating?!"
"Oh, I don't know! Perhaps the fact you sleep over at my place more than yours? Was the constant affection not a sign? I thought I was obvious! Aspx and Raspx were putting our initials on trees!”
Looking back…007n7 may have made a small lapse in judgement. It was merely the fault of being distracted by Noli. That is why he could not have noticed. Everyone makes mistakes, and this is just the rare time he made one. Yes yes, good perspective skills 007n7.
“Ahh. Shit. Maybe you’re right,” he clasped his fingers and pressed them to his lips.
“So. Do you want to call me your lover? Do you do pet names? I mean I do. But do you? What about jewellery? Do you want matching rings? Oh oh! I know! We should hold a-”
“One question at time, god-” he massaged his temples with a soft smile on his face that came about uncontrolled as Noli rambled on, their tone filled with flamboyance and joy.
“My apologies! Let me start again, do you want to call me your lover?”
Taking a step forward and gently pushing Noli’s chin up to meet his gaze, 007n7 spoke with confidence.
“Yes, Noli. Yes I do.”