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Navigating their way near the middle of the crowd raid was 007n7 and Noli, in front of the Church of Scientology. 007n7 wearing his best running shoes he had, his grey cat shirt and a pair of baggy cargo pants. Noli donned a black band shirt and grey-ish blue shorts with their black converse.
They knew of the trend blowing up, and when the two saw that a large raid was happening, they spent an hour or so driving to the church to meet up. A person dressed as Jesus was at the front, and burst the door open. Hoards of people with meta glasses, iPhones and cameras rushing into. 007n7 grabbed Noli’s hand and dashed in with an excited scream.
Immediately, the large groups started diverging. A few people here and there. Some groups were larger than others,and some people went off individually. Neither knew where they were going, but the plan like most others was to keep going.
007n7 dashed up a staircase, while Noli chucked a bottle from their bag at someone trying to block off a hallway.
“GO GO GO!” were some chants they heard from an indecipherable crowd.
It felt as though they were in some backroom’s esque area, in Noli’s opinion. The endless rooms, random dead ends. Surely they didn’t need all this space for their ‘religion’. Noli studied occult and witchcraft shit all the time as a hobby, and even they weren't as bullshit as this!
“Nol’s, hurry the fuck up or I’m leaving you behind!” 007n7 said. Shit, the man was really fast for an internet doomscroller.
Noli huffed, “Yeah yeah! Go left! Left!”
In the distance, Noli could hear random squeals and echoing footsteps from somewhere else in the building.
As the two ran into a room devoid of employees, Noli slammed the door behind them and barricaded it with a few office chairs.
“Fuck- we are not fit enough for this,” they muttered, wiping a hand down their face.
“Worth a shot, y’know, for the shits n giggles. Door shut?”
“Yeah. They’ll give up eventually anyways.” Noli shrugged, hearing some yells and banging.
They slid over to 007n7’s side. The room appeared to be another empty meeting room. Around 8 chairs surrounding a white table. There was some bullshit ‘scripture’ on the walls and a large projector which was only showing the logo of the church.
007n7 plunked himself down into one of the office chairs, which had spinning capabilities.
“Noli. Spin me.” he commanded, like a spoiled prince, with legs crossed and a shit eating grin.
“Fine, Sev,” they said, but couldn’t be that mad at him.
“Yippee! Weeeeeee!” The chair spun around and around as Noli forced it, before suddenly stopping it, “What the fuck man?”
“Sev. I have an idea.”
Now. There were a lot of staircases within the building. 007n7 was still sitting on the chair and Noli escorted him out above one of the staircases they’d climbed up. They gave up on the whole roguelike experience, but had a better idea. Besides, they didn’t even have their phones on them anyways. They left the recording responsiblity to the other people.
Noli climbed onto 007n7’s lap, put one hand on the wall, and quickly shoved it so the chair fell down the stairs.
The chair toppled over almost instantly, as the two fumbled down the stairs like a fucked-up tumbleweed.
They hit a cultist on the way down. Once they were back down, it was back running. The way the employees screamed for them to get out of the building reminded Noli of this game they played about an IKEA store.
007n7 started dragging his hands across tables, knocking over anything that had the misfortune of being in his path of destruction.
Eventually, they weren’t checking where they were looking and they hit a dead end.
“Fuck….FUCKKKK…” 007n7 groaned.
“Chill out dude! We’re…okay maybe we’re lost.”
“No shit Sherlock! I thought you had the printed out map!”
“Why would I have it?!”
“I don't know, you usually are prepared with this shit!”
The two bickered until eventually hands grabbed them, trying to escort them out. 007n7 used the c00lgui for an emergency escape, teleporting him and Noli out with haste.
Back in their shitty dorm room, Noli’s first thought was quickly said aloud.
“Man, we didn’t even see Tom Cruise.”
“Dude actually shut the fuck up. We’ll go again tomorrow."
“Hell yeah.”
And then the next day they went, they’d already removed the door handles. Noli called it lame, and banged on the windows a few times before 007n7 pulled them away so they didn’t get slimed out by the security guards.